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Active: 1867 users

Attempt at thinly veiled worst brag blog ever.

Blogs > DivinO
Post a Reply
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DivinO
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States4796 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-04-09 01:16:24
April 09 2010 01:15 GMT
#1
All of this isn't true:

Here goes nothing.


So today was basically the most annoying day ever. I wake up to my girlfriend bitching at me on the phone. She's been doing this on and off for about a week now. After that much bitching how could I forget I had to go pick up my fucking Porsche at the dealership today?

After hanging up on her (but not before she promised me a night in bed) I went off to my classes. And it was rainy. Rainy as usual. That's the one thing I really fucking hate about Yale. I get water splashed all over my Armani Exchange Jeans as I run hurriedly to class.

After listening to my professor rant on for four hours about Eigenvectors he pulls me over for 15 fucking minutes to rant about how well I did on my test and how I should consider a work study over the summer. Not once does it occur to him in this period of 15 minutes that I have shit to do.

So I say goodbye to the professor and catch a bus down to the dealership. The stupid redhead can't stop flirting with me. Makes me feel like a zoo animal, or her dinner, or anything else that distracts me from getting the damn car. Eventually after dealing with her I get the car running and drive back down to my place. Of course when I sit down at my computer PokerStars is down. It's such a fucking drag when you win 250 grand the night before and can't even withdraw it because the site is down.

I pop down to the girlfriend's place in the Porsche and before I even get out of the car she wants me to take her for a ride somewhere. Of course the dumb bitch doesn't realize I'm hungry and it's time for dinner. After four hours of class and two hours of some dumb dealership chick eyefucking you you could really use a sandwich. But of course not, she wants to see how the car runs.

After some senseless driving (because gas is totally free) we sit down and she makes dinner. After dinner we watched a movie, and then got into bed.

Someone teach her how to give a blowjob. Seriously.

So I snuck out after she fell asleep, and got home, and here I am typing this shit. Just wanted some sympathy.

Thanks TeamLiquid.

**
LiquipediaBrain in my filth.
Pokebunny
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States10654 Posts
April 09 2010 01:18 GMT
#2
Is this supposed to be funny? It really isn't lol
Semipro Terran player | Pokebunny#1710 | twitter.com/Pokebunny | twitch.tv/Pokebunny | facebook.com/PokebunnySC
baller
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
527 Posts
April 09 2010 01:18 GMT
#3
don't quit ur day job to become a comedy writer
koreasilver
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
9109 Posts
April 09 2010 01:19 GMT
#4
[image loading]
Khenra
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Netherlands885 Posts
April 09 2010 01:19 GMT
#5
Well, I for one think this is brilliant.
This signature is ruining eSports.
petzergling
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
538 Posts
April 09 2010 01:20 GMT
#6
what stakes do you play
Mod Edit: Don't bold your entire post
ZeeTemplar
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
United States557 Posts
April 09 2010 01:21 GMT
#7
Needs more cowbell.
Jangbi storms!!!
n.DieJokes
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States3443 Posts
April 09 2010 01:22 GMT
#8
I giggled
MyLove + Your Love= Supa Love
GeMicles
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
Canada307 Posts
April 09 2010 01:23 GMT
#9
yale... nice
i pikachu in the shower
jalstar
Profile Blog Joined September 2009
United States8198 Posts
April 09 2010 01:23 GMT
#10
this is hilarious
Kwidowmaker
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
Canada978 Posts
April 09 2010 01:23 GMT
#11
I liked it but your title should have been in character. It was obvious enough at the test part
Kk.
NurseArial
Profile Joined March 2010
Belarus109 Posts
April 09 2010 01:26 GMT
#12
Nice try, but no one would really brag about shopping at Armani Exchange.
da_head
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Canada3350 Posts
April 09 2010 01:27 GMT
#13
u forgot mentioning an sc 2 beta key somewhere. if you don't have one, then all of that is meaningless and you've wasted my time.
When they see MC Probe, all the ladies disrobe.
DivinO
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States4796 Posts
April 09 2010 01:27 GMT
#14
Wanted it to be obvious......I guess I killed the point of it by announcing that it was real...

Wasn't so much going for laughs as I was for reactions..but I guess I messed that up real quick.
LiquipediaBrain in my filth.
HeadhunteR
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Argentina1258 Posts
April 09 2010 01:31 GMT
#15
how can this be a brag blog this seriously needs more cowbell
in The Kong line forever
Rekrul
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
Korea (South)17174 Posts
April 09 2010 01:32 GMT
#16
On April 09 2010 10:26 NurseArial wrote:
Nice try, but no one would really brag about shopping at Armani Exchange.


LOLOL u beat me to it...armani exchange? come on dude
why so 진지해?
[NyC]HoBbes
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United States803 Posts
April 09 2010 01:34 GMT
#17
armani collezioni, yes. armani exchange, not in a million years
Where'er you walk cool gales shall fan the glade
Comeh
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States18919 Posts
April 09 2010 01:37 GMT
#18
Remove the disclaimer from the top and 5/5.
so fucking true.
ヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノDELETE ICEFROGヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(⌐■_■)ノヽ(
flamewheel
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
FREEAGLELAND26782 Posts
April 09 2010 01:47 GMT
#19
Lolol.
Writerdamn, i was two days from retirement
deth
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Australia1757 Posts
April 09 2010 01:51 GMT
#20
Great dry humor, not bad satire right there 5/5
Musoeun
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
United States4324 Posts
April 09 2010 01:51 GMT
#21
I laughed at the comments!
Don't Shoot the Penguins. | Dance, 성은, dance! | Killer FanKlub | Action sucks. | Storm Terran hwaiting.
blahman3344
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
United States2015 Posts
April 09 2010 02:02 GMT
#22
yale, porsche, armani exchange, 250 grand

that alone there makes me envious <.<
I like haikus and / I can not lie. You other / brothers can't deny
lazz
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Australia3119 Posts
April 09 2010 02:26 GMT
#23
oh i get its funny cos youre bragging lolololol
rredtooth
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
5461 Posts
April 09 2010 02:35 GMT
#24
rekrul changed his account name?
[formerly sponsored by the artist formerly known as Gene]
Rekrul
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
Korea (South)17174 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-04-09 02:38:17
April 09 2010 02:37 GMT
#25
On April 09 2010 11:35 redtooth wrote:
rekrul changed his account name?


do not insult me

i would never talk to a girl on the phone, or drive a piece of shit porsche, or wear armani exchange, and i generally keep most of my 250,000$ scores a secret so the tax man doesn't get me.
why so 진지해?
Scarecrow
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Korea (South)9172 Posts
April 09 2010 02:38 GMT
#26
Ticked all the boxes (car, gf, wealth etc) but was seriously unfunny 1/5
Yhamm is the god of predictions
paper
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
13196 Posts
April 09 2010 02:55 GMT
#27
[ ] penis size
Hates Fun🤔
Hypnosis
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
United States2061 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-04-09 03:00:40
April 09 2010 02:59 GMT
#28
On April 09 2010 10:32 Rekrul wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 09 2010 10:26 NurseArial wrote:
Nice try, but no one would really brag about shopping at Armani Exchange.


LOLOL u beat me to it...armani exchange? come on dude



There are all these overly trendy middle easterners on my campus that wear that shit.. YOU DONT NEED TO WEAR GLASSES INSIDE UNLESS YOU ARE PHIL LOCKE YOU FUCKS!
Science without religion is lame, Religion without science is blind
DeathByMonkeys
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
United States742 Posts
April 09 2010 03:08 GMT
#29
On April 09 2010 11:37 Rekrul wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 09 2010 11:35 redtooth wrote:
rekrul changed his account name?


do not insult me

i would never talk to a girl on the phone, or drive a piece of shit porsche, or wear armani exchange, and i generally keep most of my 250,000$ scores a secret so the tax man doesn't get me.


Ahahaha classic.
rredtooth
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
5461 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-04-09 03:17:25
April 09 2010 03:16 GMT
#30
On April 09 2010 11:37 Rekrul wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 09 2010 11:35 redtooth wrote:
rekrul changed his account name?


do not insult me

i would never talk to a girl on the phone, or drive a piece of shit porsche, or wear armani exchange, and i generally keep most of my 250,000$ scores a secret so the tax man doesn't get me.
haha. reminds me of the boji car thread.
[formerly sponsored by the artist formerly known as Gene]
remedy
Profile Joined April 2010
United States61 Posts
April 09 2010 03:20 GMT
#31
250k a night and a porche made it worse, too cliche
all this time, I've lived in hope of telling you how sorry I am, I've fought armies, just to have this chance, but now, there's nothing I can say that's good enough
selboN
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
United States2523 Posts
April 09 2010 03:27 GMT
#32
Kind of killed it with the disclaimer.
"That's what happens when you're using a mouse made out of glass!" -Tasteless (Referring to ZergBong)
ItsPaul
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Australia177 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-04-09 03:29:34
April 09 2010 03:28 GMT
#33
edit:nm someone already said it

I thought he was making fun of rekul
nttea
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Sweden4353 Posts
April 09 2010 03:30 GMT
#34
all you whiners are just jealous he's successful! ^_^ i liked it.
Always
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
United States376 Posts
April 09 2010 03:33 GMT
#35
I cringed at certain moments, but it wasn't too bad.
"Do unto others 20% better than you would expect them to do unto you, to correct for subjective error." - Linus Pauling
Kenpachi
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States9908 Posts
April 09 2010 03:48 GMT
#36
cool story bro.
Nada's body is South Korea's greatest weapon.
Draconizard
Profile Joined October 2008
628 Posts
April 09 2010 03:49 GMT
#37
This is more or less a copy of the typical Rekrul blog. The details may be different, but the message is identical.
remedy
Profile Joined April 2010
United States61 Posts
April 09 2010 03:50 GMT
#38
On April 09 2010 12:49 Draconizard wrote:
This is more or less a copy of the typical Rekrul blog. The details may be different, but the message is identical.


wrong, rekrul is sincere and never comes off as a douche
all this time, I've lived in hope of telling you how sorry I am, I've fought armies, just to have this chance, but now, there's nothing I can say that's good enough
Draconizard
Profile Joined October 2008
628 Posts
April 09 2010 03:57 GMT
#39
On April 09 2010 12:50 remedy wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 09 2010 12:49 Draconizard wrote:
This is more or less a copy of the typical Rekrul blog. The details may be different, but the message is identical.


wrong, rekrul is sincere and never comes off as a douche


The former does not exclude the latter. If this is sarcastic/a troll, you caught me.
Disregard
Profile Blog Joined March 2007
China10252 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-04-09 04:00:51
April 09 2010 03:59 GMT
#40
I would just stay in the lower middle class. Being rich will destroy my morals.

edit: Not that I would have any chance of being loaded in the first place.
"If I had to take a drug in order to be free, I'm screwed. Freedom exists in the mind, otherwise it doesn't exist."
NurseArial
Profile Joined March 2010
Belarus109 Posts
April 09 2010 04:12 GMT
#41
On April 09 2010 12:49 Draconizard wrote:
This is more or less a copy of the typical Rekrul blog. The details may be different, but the message is identical.


rekrul has interesting stories to tell.

A hidden brag blog is an uninteresting/insignificant story that highlights how awesome/rich/hot/successful the op is. Rekrul is a baller and as a result has interesting stories to tell. The fact that he is a baller is not the point, so it's actually quite the opposite. He doesn't fake being modest either.
[NyC]HoBbes
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United States803 Posts
April 09 2010 04:59 GMT
#42
On April 09 2010 11:59 Hypnosis wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 09 2010 10:32 Rekrul wrote:
On April 09 2010 10:26 NurseArial wrote:
Nice try, but no one would really brag about shopping at Armani Exchange.


LOLOL u beat me to it...armani exchange? come on dude



There are all these overly trendy middle easterners on my campus that wear that shit.. YOU DONT NEED TO WEAR GLASSES INSIDE UNLESS YOU ARE PHIL LOCKE YOU FUCKS!


I used to play poker with a guy who thought he needed sunglasses to be good, but thought sunglasses were really uncomfortable. Every time he went all in, he'd look at you for a second, make this huge "ah shit not AGAIN" face, and hurriedly grab and put on the sunglasses.
Where'er you walk cool gales shall fan the glade
BalloonFight
Profile Blog Joined May 2006
United States2007 Posts
April 09 2010 05:29 GMT
#43
On April 09 2010 12:50 remedy wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 09 2010 12:49 Draconizard wrote:
This is more or less a copy of the typical Rekrul blog. The details may be different, but the message is identical.


wrong, rekrul is sincere and never comes off as a douche


l o l
Jonoman92
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
United States9105 Posts
April 09 2010 05:42 GMT
#44
lol pretty good, I laughed at least
NeVeR
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
1352 Posts
April 09 2010 05:52 GMT
#45
On April 09 2010 12:27 selboN wrote:
Kind of killed it with the disclaimer.


Yeah, would've been better without it. I still chuckled a bit.
FraCuS
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United States1072 Posts
April 09 2010 05:55 GMT
#46
let the man rant.
Apink/Girl's Day/miss A/IU/Crayon Pop/Sistar/Exo K :D l Kpop and Kdrama Enthusiast
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