EPTOn March 20 2010 03:19 ChaseR wrote:
Silence is Acceptance
Silence is Acceptance
I'm not really sure what you mean by that.
Why are quiet people so irritating to some people? - Page 2
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buickskylark
Canada664 Posts
I'm not really sure what you mean by that. | ||
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love1another
United States1844 Posts
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buickskylark
Canada664 Posts
On March 20 2010 03:28 love1another wrote: What he really means is that silence is denial. denial of what? | ||
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Azrael1111
United States550 Posts
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Archetype
Slovenia38 Posts
 ) because when you get to know them they're one of the funniest people of all...... or they're just creepy always plotting silent ninja killers :D | ||
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Not_A_Notion
Ireland441 Posts
May not be in everybody's tastes though. | ||
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Fosh
Sweden117 Posts
People often perceive me as quiet, but then get suprised when I'm forced to talk to people since I have no problem engaging in a conversation or debate when I'm needed to or when I feel it's something I want to speak up about. I don't mind silence as long as it's around strangers, I don't know them so why would I talk to them, but silence can be quite awkward if it's in a situation where there is some social interaction needed, like say dinners. | ||
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nttea
Sweden4353 Posts
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[Fin]Vittu
Canada507 Posts
i can't tell if that's sarcasm or not | ||
Klogon
MURICA15980 Posts
On March 20 2010 03:02 JeeJee wrote: uhh to be more precise, i meant to say when people aren't quiet, they are comfortable. this is true for everybody, including you (as you said yourself, around your friends you talk and laugh and are comfortable. basically you enjoy being there). hence, you're perceived (fairly or not) as being uncomfortable and nobody likes that. it makes them feel uncomfortable, and its perfectly understandable why. This is it. Also, quite frankly, just in my experience, if you have nothing to say, it implies you're not interested in what is going on. Also, I sometimes get the feeling that you are not contributing at all to the social setting/environment. After all, if you're so comfortable to just be in silence and not communicate with people you do not fully know, why don't you just go and be by yourself? Why must I be the one putting myself out there more, even though I may be just as uncomfortable as you, and doing all the work to make that relationship/friendship work? In the end, its just not worth it and I'd rather spend my time with people who are willing to do their part in furthering a social atmosphere - after all, why "socialize" when you're not going to even communicate. I'd rather "socialize" with people who will actually communicate, talk, and engage in conversation than somebody who seems totally uninterested and content to just be alone. If I wanted to spend time alone, I'd have stayed in or ate alone. This isn't hating on quiet people. I have a lot of close quiet friends in which our friendships developed slowly under different settings. But quite frankly, with new people or even in certain settings, I definitely would prefer to hang out with people that are more social. Time is my most valuable resource right now, and if I'm going to spend time to "socialize," we better damn well be socializing instead of staring at our feet. | ||
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Romantic
United States1844 Posts
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Xyik
Canada728 Posts
What reason is there not to be social and talk to people? You have nothing to lose, who knows, the person you talk to may be a valuable asset in the future should he / she remember you. To say 'there's no point' or that 'I just don't find the conversation interesting' are excuses to hide behind. Talking to people about things you don't find interesting can still further develop your own knowledge and better yourself. No one is saying you have to be the life of the conversation, but take part and be interesting. Learn from what others have to say. Talk and gain. Sit in silence and lose. Not to say I'm talkative myself. I'm just explaining why I don't like par-taking heavily in discussion. I have little to say and I guess I could say I'm scared of breaking out of my shell, it seems like too much trouble. | ||
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jello_biafra
United Kingdom6640 Posts
On March 20 2010 03:35 Not_A_Notion wrote: This thread reminds me of the episode of Father Ted "Entertaining Father Stone" (on youtube) not sure if every country can see it, but it kinda sums up how people can feel about super-quiet people. May not be in everybody's tastes though. Haha, amazing episode, amazing show but nothing beats the christmas special ^^ Personally I can sit there in silence or talk to people, either way is good for me and I don't see what problem people have with quietness. | ||
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Johnranger-123
United Kingdom341 Posts
On March 20 2010 03:08 buickskylark wrote: but why must strangers know each other? It's just weird to me that conversation has to be established to be comfortable around each other. If we're all humans, and we're all live in the same neighbourhood, why does it take conversation to make someone comfortable? i'm just not sure if the onus is on the person who is quiet or the person who is nosy to get conversation going? why is it such a sin to not know each other? Well like other people have said its nice to get to know people, see if you like the same things etc. Silence is like your trying to think of something to say, but you have nothing of interest to say. | ||
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Kaniol
Poland5551 Posts
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Badjas
Netherlands2038 Posts
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Durak
Canada3685 Posts
On March 20 2010 03:20 buickskylark wrote: ... It's true that I'm not overly interested in other people's lives. People ask me about my life all the time, and usually I don't like that. I rarely ask about how other people are doing. I realize this can be offensive to some people, and therein lies the problem. The question is not whether I am interested in you or not, most likely I don't hate you because I don't even know you. But indifference in itself is an offense to some people. It's almost narcissistic that someone MUST be interested in you or otherwise. I suppose that I expect indifference in return, as indifference = indifference seems like a nice tradeoff, but instead I get animosity. It's strange that people can't just 'accept' things as they are without feeling insulted. Put it another way, I can talk with you but don't really feel like it, not because of you but just because. Why can't you just accept that without feeling angry at me? Is talking really crucial to you? With your attitude, most people will avoid talking to you. There are a few people who will make an effort to talk with you. This is going to be rare outside of your "family gatherings." I would describe these people as altruistic. All other socialization is a mutal benefit for both people. By socializing with people, and asking about their problems, you create a connection. Other people can help you with problems or even create opportunities. Swapping favours is very beneficial because something easy for you might be hard for someone else. Basically, you're shooting yourself in the foot with your attitude, but no one is going to care. Once you grow up, you can do whatever you want. | ||
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neVern
United States115 Posts
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sc4k
United Kingdom5454 Posts
Asian/ nerd quiet is far lamer. It's the one where you tend to just look completely inept in a social situation and extremely timid and meek to say anything, and your face looks pallid and like a rabbit caught in headlights when someone engages you in conversation. Polite quiet involves reacting to what other people saying and smiling, but simply not talking. You could proly do with a little bit of tightening up and say a few things, just like how in convos I could do with with keeping it zipped a little more (something I'm getting better and better at ^^ IRL) | ||
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ulszz
Jamaica1787 Posts
i never realized in a social environment ppl actually expect everyone to contribute. half the time in social situations with more than 4 or 5 ppl there always tends to be someone who is constantly talking and reaching for attention i'd rather not battle them. talking is honestly kind of annoying i always thought i was a good listener... lols | ||
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