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I feel so ronery

Blogs > BrTarolg
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1 2 3 Next All
BrTarolg
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
United Kingdom3574 Posts
November 16 2009 23:45 GMT
#1
Yeah, im allowed to say that cause im chinese.

I don't know, i feel really shit right now. I live on my own, everything paid for by my dad, in a small flat next to the uni.
Over the summer and recently ive just bawled myself into watching feel good anime, just finished strawberry panic.

I wish my life was as interesting and romantic as the shit i see on my computer screen, though i know it never will be.

I don't know why i feel shit, i shouldn't, i have it better off than so many people. I get everthing paid for me, i've never had to work hard in my life, im extremely active and i've started getting stronger and a lot better at bouldering, i have good, reliable friends at uni.
I just feel lonely.

I have nobody in my life right now who i can just go up, hold hands and get a great big hug from. Because you know, im a guy, and thats really wierd if you do it with other guys.

I dont know why, maybe because im running bad at poker right now (though really my lifetime average is pretty damn good considering my volume).
Maybe because i have no game or anything to focus on (but really, games right now are just a distraction, an escapism from the sadness of reality)
Maybe because it seems my only priority in life is trying to buff up my CV and competency question answers so that i can go work in investment banking.

I want to cry right now, but i know i cant, because im a lone. The only person i can really talk to is some girl who lives all the way in london who never really says the right things and is too difficult for me to like

---

And the saddest thing is, i got all these people on my msn list, all the people i know.
But i just cant talk to them, the ones i know in real life. I feel more secure talking and pity searching on the internet, from the people on my msn who i have never met

**
Ame
Profile Joined October 2009
United States246 Posts
November 16 2009 23:51 GMT
#2
Asian nerds represent o/... ... T_T

I personally probably have nothing useful to say that will make you more optimistic, being rather cynical myself.

That said, read any books? Those seem to be awesome timesinks, and in such a way that one forgets they are ronrey. Until the book is finished. Lol.
plated.rawr
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Norway1676 Posts
November 16 2009 23:56 GMT
#3
Get a cat. Or a dog, I suppose, if you're one of those people.

Icky people.
Savior broke my heart ;_; || twitch.tv/onnings
eMbrace
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States1300 Posts
November 16 2009 23:58 GMT
#4
you need to find a passion for something IMO
BrTarolg
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
United Kingdom3574 Posts
November 17 2009 00:02 GMT
#5
I got a passion for bouldering atm, i've been training literally every day for the last 3 weeks. Almost as if to fill in the gaps in my life
I think "i got nothing to do, ill go bouldering" and ill just train for hours on end.

But in the end, it doesn't really make me feel better, its such a solitary thing to do. I get stronger, better, faster, but its all tempeoary.

I was thinking about getting a pet, but because i go on holidays to see my family i wouldn't be able to look after it.
meeple
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
Canada10211 Posts
November 17 2009 00:05 GMT
#6
I would probably give the same advice to the countless other similar threads. Get a job, hobby or otherwise that allows you to connect with other people on a regular basis. Yeah it sucks for a while, and yeah it goes against your antisocial tendencies but it works in the end. Don't get a pet, that just replaces a person with a little furry thing that you can scold when it eats your last pizza pocket. Also, I would probably stop with the replacing r's for l's, regardless of your nationality... it got old with Team America.
TimmyMac
Profile Joined December 2008
Canada499 Posts
November 17 2009 00:08 GMT
#7
get a gf?
plated.rawr
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Norway1676 Posts
November 17 2009 00:15 GMT
#8
On November 17 2009 09:08 TimmyMac wrote:
get a gf?

Whoa now, that's crazy talk!
Savior broke my heart ;_; || twitch.tv/onnings
Whiplash
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
United States2928 Posts
November 17 2009 00:15 GMT
#9
Join a lan group organization
Cinematographer / Steadicam Operator. Former Starcraft commentator/player
HeaDStrong
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Scotland785 Posts
November 17 2009 00:16 GMT
#10
man I feel your pain...

i also had this stuff when i began going to university in the UK. sometimes i would spend a week or so without talking any more than
hi
hi
how are you doing?
fine
...

now it's not as bad, because i meet a lot more ppl, but i still can't talk about certain things with my friends. there is a solution however- your university should have some student support services, you could talk to. i know it might feel weird talking to them at first, but actually when i met the first it was really good- they are professionals, they have gone through with a lot of different students- youre not alone in that kind of sense, they won't judge you or whatever. it's just professional help.

well i hope you get better.
Nytefish
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
United Kingdom4282 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-11-17 00:21:40
November 17 2009 00:21 GMT
#11
Yeah you really need to join some society or take part in some regular group activity. It was much easier back at school because you spend a lot of time with your classmates, but now you're all grown up and adult-like you need to take the initiative.
No I'm never serious.
BrTarolg
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
United Kingdom3574 Posts
November 17 2009 00:27 GMT
#12
The most embarassing thing is i already go to lots of societies, (either extreme sport or geek related) but i havn't made any real close friends out of them.

Maybe i need to join some more or something...
Snet *
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
United States3573 Posts
November 17 2009 00:32 GMT
#13
Wintertime depression seems to be setting in for alot of our TLers.
lejason
Profile Blog Joined January 2007
57 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-11-17 00:36:47
November 17 2009 00:35 GMT
#14
op you described me, at least we're not alone entirely then.
msg me if you wanna chat about it sometime, we can form a kind of support group of people going through the same thing
Nytefish
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
United Kingdom4282 Posts
November 17 2009 00:35 GMT
#15
I think a lot of people just accept the fact that they won't get close friends like the ones they had back at school. Eventually they meet a girl and it's all good though.
No I'm never serious.
FortuneSyn
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
1826 Posts
November 17 2009 00:41 GMT
#16
listen to some bruce springsteen and you'll start crying.
FortuneSyn
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
1826 Posts
November 17 2009 00:41 GMT
#17
On November 17 2009 09:35 Nytefish wrote:
I think a lot of people just accept the fact that they won't get close friends like the ones they had back at school. Eventually they meet a girl and it's all good though.


this is very true
BrTarolg
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
United Kingdom3574 Posts
November 17 2009 00:50 GMT
#18
hahaha

i guess i could really do with a gf right now.

But srsly, v few people in uni i really like. Theres one girl atm, but seriously, anything between me an her would not last for more than a month max and it would ruin the friendship.

I never had close friends at school, i was a complete outcase. This was because i went to a fricking private eton group school in the UK full of dickheads and people who were vastly more intelligent than i was.
Zeller
Profile Blog Joined August 2004
United States1109 Posts
November 17 2009 01:00 GMT
#19
Find some hobbies you and some friends can get into. I'm not sure whats available where you are from, but you know a sports league, basketball or something of that nature. Something where you can exercise(that helps with stress being lonely etc.) , you're interacting and bonding with your friends, and hopefully networking, meeting other people, possibly getting invited to little things here and there. Shit will expand, just start getting out there doing something preferably with friends.
Last.Epic , Epic[LighT]
Disregard
Profile Blog Joined March 2007
China10252 Posts
November 17 2009 01:05 GMT
#20
Get a damn pet.
"If I had to take a drug in order to be free, I'm screwed. Freedom exists in the mind, otherwise it doesn't exist."
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