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Hey guys-- I never thought I'd end up in such an strange position, but here I am.
I'm asking this to all of you. If anything at all comes to mind during your reading of this thread, please post your thoughts.
I'm a junior at University. My campus is kind of small, and kind of in the middle of nowhere.
So the story goes:
The other day, after I got off work, I thought I'd head down to our campus coffee shop. My ex was rocking the cashier, so I chatted it up with her while I ordered and waited for my coffee. The barista who made my coffee caught my eye. She totally looked like a girl I'd really like to talk to. You guys know-- when you see a girl and your mind is just telling you, "SHE'S YOUR TYPE."
We made eye contact a bunch of times, but I didn't say anything to her except "Thanks!" once she handed me my drink.
I went home, asked my ex on IM what the burista's name was, and checked her out on Facebook.
I clicked her info, and WHAT?! GRADUATED?!
I assume she's on campus for research or something, and I don't really know much about her at all. However, another one of my friends who works at the coffee place (not my ex) told me the girl-in-question's schedule, in case I ever wanted to stop by.
Some background:
I've dated a lot of girls in the past, but I've always met them through more sociable situations-- in class, through friends, at parties, etc. I have absolutely no idea how to start up a conversation with her.
It's a long shot, and it may not appear hard to just forget about the whole thing, and pretend I never saw her, but I don't see girls like her everyday. (When I say "girls like her," I mean girls that I think would be really cool to meet.) I'd really like to meet her.
I'm not an introverted kind of guy-- I can definitely keep conversation, and we have a bunch of friends in common on Facebook. However, I'm not particularly close with any of the mutual friends we share, and I can't imagine asking any of them to help me out in this situation (I'd really rather not ask my ex).
The question:
How do I talk to her? Ask for her name (though I already know it)? Should I ask her out to coffee (probably not coffee, but something else?)? Should I ask for her number?
... Or should I just forget the whole thing, since the situation is a little awk-awk?
Simplified: How do you guys think I should handle this situation?
And so now, I ask you, TL.net, for your advice, guidance, input, and infinite wisdom. Thanks!
Also-- before anyone asks, no pics. Everyone deserves their privacy. Sorry guys.
edit: Haha. I am not a stalking her-- I go to the same university as she does. we're both part of the "________ University Network." She allows people of the network to view her profile. I was curious as to what year she was, and didn't want to ask my ex too much about her. i think stalking has some pretty negative connotations, and by no means am I stalking this girl. she's just a girl who works at the campus coffee shop. I haven't gone to any lengths to find out any more about her from my ex or my friend who both work with her, and I didn't mean any harm by looking up her profile. I don't see how my curiosity can be taken from such a negative viewpoint.
 
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Everyone deserves their privacy - that's why you asked your ex what the girl's name was then stalked her on FB then got people to give you her schedule eh?
I propose that you talk to her. It sounds crazy but it just might work
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+ Show Spoiler +Start hitting on your ex again at the coffee shop to make the other girl jealous.
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Snet
United States3573 Posts
Ask her if she went to that school, what she studied, what she does now, etc, you can start the convo that way. One thing to remember is she works at a university campus coffee shop so she prolly gets talked to alot by college guys, so don't be annoying about it.
Make an attempt and move on. However, judging from how much you've already stalked her after only eye contact I doubt you're the "moving on" type.
o.o
On November 09 2009 07:34 quiong wrote:+ Show Spoiler +Start hitting on your ex again at the coffee shop to make the other girl jealous.
Why the fuck would you spoiler that?
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Talk with her, be playful, tease her, don't be the same as every other guy who tries to start boring conversations while she's at work. Repeat every now and then. Always leave her wanting more, so that when she's working she might think "when is that cute boy going to stop in again". then get her number
IMO
(edit: playful teasing as in "you again! are you following me here or something?" when you see her, idk just be fun and enjoyable to talk to)
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I didn't read any of it, but I am going to make a post anyway. Just fucking man up and say something to her, anything. Why does everyone have to make this girl shit 100x harder then it has to be. Start small and just say, "Hi".
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United States42640 Posts
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Say hi, ask a question, and have a interesting response to her answer. gogogo gl hf gg
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On November 09 2009 07:45 KwarK wrote:
In an irish accent.
lolz :D
Hmmm, GL flirting with your ex around...kind of weird asking your ex the name isn't it?
My advice: don't overthink. Go there, order a coffee and try to talk to her
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I would just go up and talk to her for a while. After you're comfortable, ask her to coffee. I wouldn't stalk her by using your ex/facebook.
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talking with words always works 
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I wonder how people get the idea of aking this kinda stuff on the internet. It's like asking how to use a condom in kindergarden.
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Say hi to the girl.
Probably no guy has dared to do that and she's waiting for one that will but is confused about why no one is approaching her.
I suck at theorycrafting lol
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United States42640 Posts
Go in wearing a hoodie of whatever she lists as her favourite bands are while discussing her favourite movies/shows with a token friend. Also if she's filled out any of those retarded quizes then stalk through them and find out info. Even horoscopes will do.
Also it's facebook. If you haven't got mutual friends you can make some. Add some random people off her friends list. Done.
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United States42640 Posts
Set fire to the building and save her from it.
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United States42640 Posts
Turn into a jet and fly into the sun.
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You ask TL about RL-stuff?
.... ok, glhf!
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On November 09 2009 08:04 KwarK wrote:
Set fire to the building and save her from it.
probably your best bet.
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Ménage à trois is the French term describing a domestic arrangement in which three people having sexual relations occupy the same household.
But seriously, next time you see her tell her you wanted to talk to her last time but kinda woosed out. And that you would really like to have her for lunch. Then quickly say, "I mean take you to lunch" and play all embarrassed like your nervous (and not a player). Then hit her with your smile.
Or you could just stay home and see who is on ICCUP.
Your choice...
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Have a pleasant conversation, when you're about to go, ask her for her number so you two can hang out sometime.
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On November 09 2009 07:34 Kyuukyuu wrote:
Everyone deserves their privacy - that's why you asked your ex what the girl's name was then stalked her on FB then got people to give you her schedule eh?
I propose that you talk to her. It sounds crazy but it just might work
Jeez Kyuukyuu-- that's kind of critical. I go to the same uni as her. I don't know if her page is completely open to the public, but it's likely she lets people who are in the same social network as her view her profile. I am part of my uni's social network, and I have access to her page. It's not like I used my ex's Facebook account to visit her page or something.
My friend randomly mentioned her schedule after she noticed that the girl had taken an extra shift. I didn't pester her for this girl's schedule.
Don't be a jerk-- if you have nothing nice to say in my blog, then you don't have to say anything at all.
---
And for everyone else-- thanks for all the suggestions so far. Constructive input is nice to read.
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Well, let's say that Protoss is the most common race for foreigners...
You can't go forge first and fast expand with a girl like this, you'll just come off as defensive.
Don't forget to scout. You have to check and see how the mood is going to see if you can pull off the ultimate of strategies: The Stove. If her build will let you go for it, you totally should.
Keep trying to keep her off guard with zealots, not any long drawn out conversations, but just walk into her base with your zealots and say "what's up" to her worker units with a good high five.
This is where you try to get into a deeper conversation with your scouts, get to know the finer points of her build. Use your best timing, this will let you know if she's open for the next part: The DT.
Hopefully by this point you've made a good impression with your super-gosu build. Best thing to do? Send out your message and see if she wants to go out for dinner sometime. How do you do this? Ezpz, send out your secret message in style: DTz. Dark Templar are the best way to get your point across. First she'll be like "What the crap is happening?" and then she'll be like "Oh, DTs, that's pretty sexy"
Now everything is falling into place. She doesn't know what to expect out of you anymore and she's feeling pretty good about it. She thinks your mysterious, cunning, and a baller. You can't let her down now with zealots and dragoons... no... That would be like watching a progame cast without hearing "GEE GEEEEEEE!!!!" What're you going to do? You're going to bring in the arbiters...
At this point, you're on ez mode and taking her out left and right. Just don't forget to wear a condom after recall finishes because you don't want to deploy a whole army in her base just yet...
Got it?
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time is a limited resource, fuck all the bullshit beating around the bush and just tell her you're romantically interested in her and ask her out to tea/picnic or someshit.
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First, you need to tell us your background so we can help.. Info on if you have STIs would very much help.. I think you should find some good pick up lines like "Nice legs when do they open?" or "Do you have a mirror in your pocket? cuz I can see myself in your pants." would very much improve your odds.. GL HF
Edit: And don't forget "If your good at Starcraft, your good at life" - Artosis
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On November 09 2009 08:31 Always wrote:Show nested quote +On November 09 2009 07:34 Kyuukyuu wrote:
Everyone deserves their privacy - that's why you asked your ex what the girl's name was then stalked her on FB then got people to give you her schedule eh?
I propose that you talk to her. It sounds crazy but it just might work Jeez Kyuukyuu-- that's kind of critical. I go to the same uni as her. I don't know if her page is completely open to the public, but it's likely she lets people who are in the same social network as her view her profile. I am part of my uni's social network, and I have access to her page. It's not like I used my ex's Facebook account to visit her page or something. My friend randomly mentioned her schedule after she noticed that the girl had taken an extra shift. I didn't pester her for this girl's schedule. Don't be a jerk-- if you have nothing nice to say in my blog, then you don't have to say anything at all. --- And for everyone else-- thanks for all the suggestions so far. Constructive input is nice to read.
The way you posted it (essentially "i didn't get her name so i asked my ex so that i could check her out online") just sounds creeper-like, so your follow-up about privacy amused me. Is it the norm for people to look others up on FB before ever talking to them nowadays?
And I really did give advice - it's the only advice you could possibly get anyway, considering you haven't talked to her at all yet. If you're social and have no problems with starting conversations then hey start a conversation
i kinda realized this post really has no point
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Talk to her by her full name. Ask her what degree she graduated with. Any other slightly creepy questions garnered from stalking her are key.
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she prolly has a boyfriend, typical way of ending 
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Well dont stalk her on facebook thats fuckin creepy man.
Just like order coffee everyday and stare at her everytime you order.
She'll get the hint.
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Brag about ur lvl80 paladin - she'll come to you.
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Ask her if she plays starcraft
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I love the hilarious answers here. xD
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Easy. Talk about school. Ask her what she is taking, and when she responds I've actually graduated (which you already know she has), you can say oh wow, what did you take and why are you still here and wow you are doing research that's so cool.. blah blah blah. Girls are just humans, remember that! Oh and flirt a little bit. If you can not flirt, DON'T. You'll end up making things very awkward.
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Stand as closely as you can behind her. Let her feel the heat of your breath as you sniff her hair. Chicks dig that stuff.
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Ask her to cream your....coffee
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On November 09 2009 08:41 aiyeeta wrote:
Well, let's say that Protoss is the most common race for foreigners...
You can't go forge first and fast expand with a girl like this, you'll just come off as defensive.
Don't forget to scout. You have to check and see how the mood is going to see if you can pull off the ultimate of strategies: The Stove. If her build will let you go for it, you totally should.
Keep trying to keep her off guard with zealots, not any long drawn out conversations, but just walk into her base with your zealots and say "what's up" to her worker units with a good high five.
This is where you try to get into a deeper conversation with your scouts, get to know the finer points of her build. Use your best timing, this will let you know if she's open for the next part: The DT.
Hopefully by this point you've made a good impression with your super-gosu build. Best thing to do? Send out your message and see if she wants to go out for dinner sometime. How do you do this? Ezpz, send out your secret message in style: DTz. Dark Templar are the best way to get your point across. First she'll be like "What the crap is happening?" and then she'll be like "Oh, DTs, that's pretty sexy"
Now everything is falling into place. She doesn't know what to expect out of you anymore and she's feeling pretty good about it. She thinks your mysterious, cunning, and a baller. You can't let her down now with zealots and dragoons... no... That would be like watching a progame cast without hearing "GEE GEEEEEEE!!!!" What're you going to do? You're going to bring in the arbiters...
At this point, you're on ez mode and taking her out left and right. Just don't forget to wear a condom after recall finishes because you don't want to deploy a whole army in her base just yet...
Got it?
Lesson = scouting is everything.
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ask her out for a cup of coffee sometime
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How has rekrul not posted to stop being a nerd and grow some balls in this thread yet.
seriously though just fucking talk to her you dumbass. It seems like she wanted to flirt with you so be as non-introverted as you claim to be.
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On November 09 2009 11:50 talismania wrote:
ask her out for a cup of coffee sometime
I was writing exactly that, but then I looked up... Anyways, that's a great idea! Honestly, it makes you sound extremely dumb because... you're at a coffee shop, but if she has as sense of humor, she'll understand that you're just trying to be a little witty with your first move. If she frowns and walks away, time to move on.
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Practice impersonating Christopher Walken until you sound exactly like him.
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Just talk to her when there's no line. It's not hard as long as you don't act like a nervous retard.
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i recommend the aforementioned "stalker" technique
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swtich the "awk-awk" to whip out the cawk-cawk
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On November 09 2009 11:02 Chunkybuddha wrote:
Girls are just humans, remember that!
This is good advice.
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Just go talk to her. Just do it. For me.
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Really high success rate.
+ Show Spoiler +Just approach her and give her a bottle of Absint, with telling her "Here drink this and come to my table when I start to look good to you". Then go and sit at corner table and wait.
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Haha.
You guys are awesome. Thanks for all the responses.
After rereading my original post, I can't help but be completely disappointed in myself. It's been fun reading your guys' thoughts, but I shouldn't have to figure out a plan to do this. I just need to grow a pair and fucking talk to her.
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On November 09 2009 09:12 ThePhan2m wrote:she prolly has a boyfriend, typical way of ending
lol this shit is so true... prolly the most realistic advice hahahah
shit always ends up lke that for me... girls really into u but she has a bf she loves to death so u either get lucky by being her hidden lover or she ll say u might get a shot when she breaks up with her bf ... lol
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On November 09 2009 16:33 InfeSteD wrote:Show nested quote +On November 09 2009 09:12 ThePhan2m wrote:she prolly has a boyfriend, typical way of ending lol this shit is so true... prolly the most realistic advice hahahah shit always ends up lke that for me... girls really into u but she has a bf she loves to death so u either get lucky by being her hidden lover or she ll say u might get a shot when she breaks up with her bf ... lol
The hidden lover is the best possibility. No commitments, just sex. Most guys give up when they hear a BF is in the picture, as long as there are no kids involved I say go for it.
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1) close distance to <1m
2) open mouth
3) ???
4) 
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On November 09 2009 11:56 Wr3k wrote:
Practice impersonating Christopher Walken until you sound exactly like him.
hahahahahahaha
This.
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If your having trouble opening, just go in on a day when she and your ex are working, ask your ex a question and then as the girl you like walks by ask her for her opinion in a fun manner.
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"Hi, can i take your temperature with my rectal thermometer that is located in my pants?"
and then like you forgot a line from a speech you memorized, quickly add
"oh ya! you have very nice nipples, k done!" big grin and you're fuckin done bro.
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I'm not the wittiest guy when it comes to starting up conversations with random girls, but I think you should open with a comment. Say you order some coffee.. You can say something like, "All-nighters are terrible, but hopefully this will get me through my next class." If she smiles but says nothing, you can follow with something like, "I hope your classes aren't as stressful as mine are. My professors are all Nazis.", after which she will probably say something like "What are you taking?"
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On November 28 2009 17:22 NeVeR wrote:
I'm not the wittiest guy when it comes to starting up conversations with random girls, but I think you should open with a comment. Say you order some coffee.. You can say something like, "All-nighters are terrible, but hopefully this will get me through my next class." If she smiles but says nothing, you can follow with something like, "I hope your classes aren't as stressful as mine are. My professors are all Nazis.", after which she will probably say something like "What are you taking?"
And she'll probably be expecting the response "crack".
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Most of the guys here are making girls too complicated. They are human, just talk to her like a fellow human being and it will take you much further than putting her on a weird piedestal and making her untouchable in your own mind
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But what if she is a Nazi?
You don't want to offend her...
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You can read all the advices but in the end it will just come out your own way.
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so my friend's dad met a girl who's serving ice-cream in an ice-cream parlor awhile back, that girl ended up being my friends' mother.
+ Show Spoiler +
they divorced because it didn't work out since they didn't think things through properly
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EPT
