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This blog is probably more of a question, if there are any psychology students or just people who like to dig in to human actions, please help me with this.
Question no.1
So the thing is, I have a person who's pretty close to me, but I have an issue with selfish (3-5)* people and I would like to send that person a message without him knowing that, that if he/she doesn't change I dont want to see his/hers face ever again.
Question no.2
This one I have been trying to get an answer to forever.
I had an argument with my friend about selfishness and if it's written in to human genes and they are born with it, or is it a thing you take from the environment that surrounds you?
He tryed to prove to me that people are born like blank paper and what ever they let to be written on them before there is no space left, they become.
My point of view is, that people are born like blank paper only with black lines along the sides that you cant erase.
Which is it ? Any personal experiences ?
Btw the * means that i categorize selfish people like tornados from 1 to 5 according to the level of their selfishness.
It would take too long to explain all five, but the fifth would be when they see your mouth moving, they hear nothing and they are thinking to themselves "When are you going to shut up couse I have stuff to say" or even worse they interupt you or start talking when ur not finished.
 
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United States43350 Posts
I saw the words but I wasn't really bothered with reading them because I was too busy thinking about this post I was going to make. Then I made the post. That was cool.
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Nobody is born like blank paper, not even close. Read "The Blank Slate" - its a good book on the nature vs. nurture debate.
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Just tell him to stop being such a selfish idiot and that he better use a rubber on himself.
I think you're right. Every baby is different form the very start. We are born with different attributes and personalities but everyone can change themselves if they want to. The problem is that many people don't want to change.
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So you'll make an attempt to change him into your liking, cause you cannot stant the way he is now. What is selfishness if not imposing your will onto your environment? Beware so that you don't turn into that you detest.
A quick observation of the nature of children would lead me to believe that are all born into total selfishness. Though you'll have a hard time discussing the topic without first defining what it means to be selfish.
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For the most part humans are born into being an open book. The problem there in lies where nurture takes place and what stage certain belief structures are put into play. As for nature, genes account for probabilities of situations improving or deterring certain lessons in life (morality as well) - where belief structures are formed. In order to coax certain problems like selfishness you must rely on your friend identifying it and learning from peoples observations (like your own).
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Question 1: Just tell them directly. Don't send little hidden messages. It's just better that way.
Question 2: The nature vs nurture debate has already been settled. It's generally accepted that both nature and nurture come together to influence us. We can be born with selfish tendencies, but as we grow up, our environment can either reinforce or dispel them. Obviously if we already lean towards selfishness, it would be easier for the environment to push us that way. Also I don't really get what you mean by black borders on the paper. Does that mean there are limits on personality or something?
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It's impossible to put a figure on the 'nature vs nurture' dichotomy. We just don't know. A word like selfishness can mean a number of different things to different people in different situations, and as such it seems unlikely that it could be tied to one specific gene. I don't think we have identified any genes which are believed to be associated with selfish behavior.
Actually, nevermind, that's not entirely true. I read an article wherein a gene dubbed "the warrior gene" was believed to be associated with a tendency for delinquent behavior. Certainly in many contexts this behavior could be described as selfish, but it's probably not what you're talking about - do you see what I mean about the multifaceted nature of a trait like "selfishness"?
As we are all the same organism, we are likely all quite similar. That being said, since we can't see anything through the eyes of other organisms, we're more likely to notice a LOT of variation within the narrow behavioral parameters of humans. My guess would be that a significant amount of what we notice and identify is predominantly environmental (brought about through influences during development) in origin. Some of it can be changed, some of it can't. This is only a guess because at this point it's really impossible to know.
I am useless with people, so I can only wish you luck with your dilemma.
On September 16 2009 04:43 Kwark wrote:
I saw the words but I wasn't really bothered with reading them because I was too busy thinking about this post I was going to make. Then I made the post. That was cool.
It actually wasn't. You aren't even trying to contribute - is this tolerated? Though, your signature sort of makes up for it.
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EPT
