EPTHowever, now, on July 17th, something utterly momentous has happened, perhaps one of the most momentous things in all of human history: SCIENCE has failed. Kennigit's flawless mathematical formulas have failed to reflect reality. And so, SCIENCE has now been definitively proven wrong.
Obviously, this will have far-reaching effects on all areas of life (including, among other things, the immediate shut-down of this website)--but I won't go into detail on all of those here. The important question which concerns us today is simply: where do we go from here? What, then, shall we live our lives by, if not SCIENCE?
For the answer to this question, it is my contention that we go back to a time before SCIENCE as we know it had ever begun, to a time where the great minds and thinkers of society lived by a different principle.
I am speaking, of course, about LOGIC.
Some, I know, will doubt me; they will say that we can still trust SCIENCE, despite its failure. They will say that LOGIC is not good enough to succeed where SCIENCE has failed. These people are wrong.
To prove it, I will now, against the failed SCIENCE of Teamliquid, set the power of LOGIC. Using only LOGIC and a few salient facts, I will predict the Starcraft 2 beta date, and, again using only LOGIC, incontrovertibly prove my prediction to be correct. I will succeed where SCIENCE has failed! The world will once more bend before the awesome power of LOGIC!
Hence:
Axioms: (1)Teamliquid is elitist; (2)Warcraft 3 sucks; (3)all Koreans are good at Starcraft 1 & 2.
Fact 1: Blizzard will release the beta "really, really soon."*
Fact 2: Events overseas July 23-26 with playable SC2. One in Spain, another in Korea.*
Fact 3: David Kim has won every Battle Report.*
Fact 4: SC2 is for n00bs lol*
Now, we know that "Blink" is a Warcraft 3 spell, and that Blink is also in Starcraft 2. Therefore, SC2=WC3. And since by Axiom 2 Warcraft 3 sucks, then therefore SC2 sucks. Now, by this, Fact 3 (David Kim plays Starcraft 2), and Fact 4(SC2 is for n00bs), we can LOGICally deduce that David Kim is a n00b. And since David Kim is a Korean, a n00b, and good at Starcraft 2, and since by Axiom 3 we know that all Koreans are also good at Starcraft 2, then LOGICally all Koreans must likewise be n00bs. Now, taking this with Fact 2 (a SC2 event at Korea, and another simultaneously in Spain), we can deduce that all Spanish people are n00bs as well.
In addition, by Axiom 1 Teamliquid is elitist. And since the majority* of Teamliquid users and staff are from the US/Canada/Australia region, then logically the majority of people from these regions are also elitist. And since Blizzard's offices are also in America, and most Blizzard employees are from America, ergo Blizzard is elitist as well.
Now, if there's one thing about elitist SC players that is absolutely intrinsic to their nature as elitists, it's that they (on principle!) hate and despise all n00bs. And, since Blizzard is elitist, and since by the above Spanish and Koreans are n00bs, then logically Blizzard must hate Spain and Korea, and so (by LOGIC) must always heavily favor the US region over those of Europe and Korea. This means, LOGICally, that for any good SC2-related thing that Spain and/or Korea recieves, Blizzard must give us something better. So far, so unquestionably LOGICal.
However, as yet we have no evidence of a better event in the US corresponding to the ones in Korea and Spain. This is important. Since by the above arguments we know that elitist Blizzard would never give something to the n00b paradises of Europe and Korea without giving us (the elitist Americans*) something much, much prettier (and better), then the only logical deduction which can be made from all of this that Blizzard is going to give the America region something better than these events on or before this date (July 23-26th).
Now, since the Korean event contains the exponential awesomeness of Moon and Nada playing SC2 (which, by the way, combined with Fact 4 is yet more evidence that all Koreans are n00bs--so stop doubting LOGIC!), I think we can all agree that the corresponding American event will have to be pretty darn awesome to clearly show Blizzard's elitist regard for America's superiority over the rest of the world. Now, this, combined with Fact 1 above (which, taking into account Blizzard's track record has LOGICally been reduced to merely "really soon"), and the fact that beta will be American region-only when launched, all indicate a strong possibility that the launching of Beta is the American event in question. However, when the fact that there will be unspecified other progamers at the same event, plus hundreds of Koreans (which, by Axiom 3, are good at Starcraft, and therefore awesome), is taken into account, then LOGICally there is no possible event awesome enough to compete with this, save Beta.
And so, since by the above Blizzard must always give America something more awesome than Korea, and since the only possible SC2-related thing awesome enough to be beat the Korean event is the launch of Beta, then by LOGIC the corresponding American event must be Beta.
And since to correspond and nullify the competing events--and thus prove Blizzard's elitist regard for America over Korea and Spain-- Beta must come out on or before July 23-26th, then LOGICally Beta must come out on or before July 23-26th.
Q.E.D.
Addendum: As you can plainly see, LOGIC is much, much better than SCIENCE. In addition, LOGICians are clearly much, much prettier than the competition: + Show Spoiler +
![[image loading]](http://faculty.francis.edu/aremillard/Images/Saint_Thomas_Aquinas.jpg)
Addendum the Second: + Show Spoiler +
![[image loading]](http://trekmovie.com/wp-content/uploads/spocksbrain/remote_spock.jpg)
*SOURCE: Dustin Browder
*SOURCE: Fact 2 (see above)
*SOURCE: Fact 3 (see above)
*SOURCE: Every Teamliquid SC2 thread ever created.
*Yes, I made that up, but it's LOGIC so you can't argue with it
*SOURCE: (see above)
![[image loading]](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_DZH2cmCoois/R7yV24UMhiI/AAAAAAAAEnE/ROlNPOc12Ug/s400/I_Want_to_Believe.jpg)
