EPTI have been alive for 22 years now—-almost 23. Lately, school and, well, life have consumed the majority of my free time, but I am finally getting back into my true passion: masturbation. It’s been a while since I’ve gazed upon the glory that is my reproductive organ. I didn’t even recognize some of my pubic hairs; it’s been that long!
I’d like to offer my services. They are free of charge. I am going to offer tips and tricks regarding the art of pleasuring yourself to anyone who asks. Ask in this thread, PM me, email me, or approach me on Battle.net: it’s that important. If I can help just one person in his (or her!) quest to gratify himself in the most efficient and pleasing manner possible, I did my job.
My resume is as follows: I have fourteen years of masturbation experience. True, for the first five of those years, I couldn’t actually ejaculate, but that’s just my point: I’m persistent. I won’t give up on you. Beyond that, I’ve masturbated in any number of locales. I’ve masturbated everywhere from Alaska to California to Pennsylvania to France, and I even told a girl that she was giving me a horrible handjob while I was on vacation in Greece. Variety counts. I am adept in using both my left and right hands. I’ve even experimented, with dubious results, with my feet. I’m an innovator in every sense of the word.
So if anyone would like to join me for a circle jerk (or a line jerk, I suppose, if it’s just the two of us), please contact me. I only have class three days a week, which means I’m at your service (and my own!) more often than not. Thank you, and happy whacking.
