• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 23:06
CEST 05:06
KST 12:06
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
Power Rank - Esports World Cup 202561RSL Season 1 - Final Week9[ASL19] Finals Recap: Standing Tall15HomeStory Cup 27 - Info & Preview18Classic wins Code S Season 2 (2025)16
Community News
BSL Team Wars - Bonyth, Dewalt, Hawk & Sziky teams10Weekly Cups (July 14-20): Final Check-up0Esports World Cup 2025 - Brackets Revealed19Weekly Cups (July 7-13): Classic continues to roll8Team TLMC #5 - Submission re-extension5
StarCraft 2
General
#1: Maru - Greatest Players of All Time Server Blocker Team TLMC #5 - Submission re-extension Greatest Players of All Time: 2025 Update The StarCraft 2 GOAT - An in-depth analysis
Tourneys
Esports World Cup 2025 FEL Cracov 2025 (July 27) - $8000 live event Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament Master Swan Open (Global Bronze-Master 2) Sea Duckling Open (Global, Bronze-Diamond)
Strategy
How did i lose this ZvP, whats the proper response
Custom Maps
External Content
Mutation #239 Bad Weather Mutation # 483 Kill Bot Wars Mutation # 482 Wheel of Misfortune Mutation # 481 Fear and Lava
Brood War
General
BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ Ginuda's JaeDong Interview Series [Update] ShieldBattery: 2025 Redesign BW General Discussion Dewalt's Show Matches in China
Tourneys
[Megathread] Daily Proleagues [BSL20] Non-Korean Championship 4x BSL + 4x China CSL Xiamen International Invitational [CSLPRO] It's CSLAN Season! - Last Chance
Strategy
[G] Mineral Boosting Does 1 second matter in StarCraft? Simple Questions, Simple Answers
Other Games
General Games
Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Total Annihilation Server - TAForever Nintendo Switch Thread [MMORPG] Tree of Savior (Successor of Ragnarok) Path of Exile
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
TL Mafia Community Thread Vanilla Mini Mafia
Community
General
Stop Killing Games - European Citizens Initiative Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine Russo-Ukrainian War Thread US Politics Mega-thread Post Pic of your Favorite Food!
Fan Clubs
INnoVation Fan Club SKT1 Classic Fan Club!
Media & Entertainment
[\m/] Heavy Metal Thread Anime Discussion Thread Movie Discussion! [Manga] One Piece Korean Music Discussion
Sports
Formula 1 Discussion 2024 - 2025 Football Thread TeamLiquid Health and Fitness Initiative For 2023 NBA General Discussion
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Installation of Windows 10 suck at "just a moment" Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread
TL Community
TeamLiquid Team Shirt On Sale The Automated Ban List
Blogs
Ping To Win? Pings And Their…
TrAiDoS
momentary artworks from des…
tankgirl
from making sc maps to makin…
Husyelt
StarCraft improvement
iopq
Socialism Anyone?
GreenHorizons
Eight Anniversary as a TL…
Mizenhauer
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 721 users

Protoss - Kings of This Here Galaxy

Forum Index > SC2 General
Post a Reply
1 2 3 4 Next All
snotboogie
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Australia3550 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-06-06 15:55:44
June 06 2010 13:56 GMT
#1
My young Protoss son, listen to the advice of your father. Heed not the haughty words of strength from the brash Terran, who is so simple he cannot see his own weakness. (Can you believe, for a race so proud, they actually excrete feces? Surely their boasts are a jest, which the Universe laughs at!) In truth, they are but a step above the common beast.

Nor, child, should you believe the chattering of the despicable Zerg, whose will is not even their own - indeed, ultimately, they are ruled by one of those dirty Terrans I already told you about! They are a step below the beast, caricatures of animals, whose only function is to be slaves - a fate decreed from before they were born.

Forget not, my son, that we are the Firstborn, and the Universe is our birthright. We are strength incarnate, the object of Hercules' envy. The least of us towers over the tallest of the foolish longpigs. We are the pinnacle of mindpower, and with will alone we cut down swathes of heathens. Each of us is half god.

Allow me a moment to briefly review our military, that proud and honoured Templar caste, whose legacy you will soon be part of.


Zealot - Upon completion of basic training, you will be assigned this rank. You will be given basic armor with shield capabilities, and you will be taught how to will a blade into being with a single thought. At this stage, you will already be able to cut down three zerglings (those "rabid hyena killer wasps with claws and amniotic fluids" you've heard about). You begin to see how easy this whole war thing is.



[image loading]


Our Cultural Researcher has informed me that many Terrans once worshipped a film, a fantasy in which a blade similar to ours was the pinnacle of power. Fortunately, you are Protoss, and you get two of these on Day 1.



Stalker - Witness your Dark Templar brethren and the immense strength of spirit they possess. Death itself is a mere nuisance to the hardy members of the Shakuras tribes. You see, when they die, they cut off their heads and get them fused onto teleporting machines. Which shoot lasers. All while still wearing their masks.

Dark Templar - The living counterparts of the Stalkers are born invisible. They learn to kill from childhood. You're not stupid so I'll leave it to you to do the math. (By the way, while we're on the subject, lol @ the level of Terran "math"... ridiculous)

[image loading]

Your hands can't hit what your eyes can't see



Colossus
- Witness the capability of Protoss engineering. The laws of nature, the universe, and logic have never managed to constrain our great scientists, and now we have constructed a behemoth that is at one time both walking and flying. On the battlefield, you will witness them in action - do not be surprised when they set fire to your enemies simply by looking at them.

High Templar
- One day, with much hard work behind you, you may ascend to this position. When you have done so, you will be able to erupt masses of living minds at will. You will also have really, really cool bling in the form of a glowing Khaydarin crystal that rests atop your third eye. It will magnify your potence; your thoughts will manifest with terrible power.


+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]

Artist's rendition of a Psi Storm







The Templar's Creed

It is by will alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the Khaydarin that thoughts acquire speed;
The body acquires levitation;
The levitation becomes a warning.
It is by will alone I set my mind in motion.



TL;DR Protoss have the biggest dicks in the universe. And if we didn't we would just will a bigger one into existence. It would actually work, because we are Protoss. And it would glow, too.

Toran7
Profile Joined March 2010
United States160 Posts
June 06 2010 14:00 GMT
#2
I approve of (most of) this thread
TheAntZ
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Israel6248 Posts
June 06 2010 14:04 GMT
#3
The TL;DR part is brilliant :D 25/5
43084 | Honeybadger: "So july, you're in the GSL finals. How do you feel?!" ~ July: "HUNGRY."
Terranlisk
Profile Blog Joined February 2007
Singapore1404 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-06-06 14:05:36
June 06 2010 14:04 GMT
#4
is this one of many silly protoss attempts at recreating a legendary terran thread?
aka myheronoob
Desperadoh
Profile Joined April 2010
Denmark17 Posts
June 06 2010 14:07 GMT
#5
You can't spell Protoss without Pro
Buddhist
Profile Joined April 2010
United States658 Posts
June 06 2010 14:10 GMT
#6
Heed not the haughty words of strength from the brash Terran, who is so simple he cannot see his own weakness. (Can you believe, for a race so proud, they actually excrete feces? Surely their boasts are a jest, which the Universe laughs at!)
Best part of the thread.

Overall a strong 9/10.
FarbrorAbavna
Profile Joined July 2009
Sweden4856 Posts
June 06 2010 14:15 GMT
#7
now this I enjoyed and I play zerg. Heck this almost made me wanna switch races in sc2
Do you really want chat rooms?
SexyBimbo
Profile Joined April 2010
Germany89 Posts
June 06 2010 15:11 GMT
#8
You can't spell Protoss without Pro

Guess why the term "Toss" came into existence...

This Thread really is by far the coolest of all the races and convinced me that Protoss are having the biggest dicks. Well written!

(imo they are still pussies, but nvm)

SB
Why do ppl do this; does my name look anything like Kiwikaki?? - Kawaiirice
RyanRushia
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States2748 Posts
June 06 2010 15:15 GMT
#9
haha hilarious. well done enjoyed it thoroughly
I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free. | coL.Ryan | www.twitter.com/coL_RyanR
nate_river
Profile Joined April 2010
40 Posts
June 06 2010 15:18 GMT
#10
Hehe when i was reading this Aldaris voice was in my head.
btlyger
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
United States470 Posts
June 06 2010 15:20 GMT
#11
Rofl the 2nd picture is so good.
"Minerals being mined. Minerals being mined. Minerals being mined." Learn how to post: http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/posting
alypse
Profile Joined May 2010
2771 Posts
June 06 2010 15:23 GMT
#12
Good read
KT Violet 1988 - 2012
bossy
Profile Joined December 2009
Italy18 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-06-06 15:31:08
June 06 2010 15:30 GMT
#13
meh this could have been better i think, it could be alot more hauss considering all the things the protoss can do...the dune quotee is clever though.
"Even using the word cheese pisses me off. It's a word created by people incapable dealing with strategic variance. And thus incapable of playing Broodwar." -Liquid`Nazgul
SoL[9]
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Portugal1370 Posts
June 06 2010 15:33 GMT
#14
No so good was terran thread but still nice.
I Can Fly...
Deleted User 76781
Profile Joined May 2010
101 Posts
June 06 2010 15:38 GMT
#15
Great thread! link to terran thread?
Licmyobelisk
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
Philippines3682 Posts
June 06 2010 15:42 GMT
#16
Now we need a zerg pride thread this is very good
I don't think I've ever wished my opponent good luck prior to a game. When I play, I play to win. I hope every opponent I ever have is cursed with fucking terrible luck. I hope they're stuck playing underneath a stepladder with a black cat in attendance a
JaspluR
Profile Joined April 2010
Australia174 Posts
June 06 2010 15:44 GMT
#17
as a fellow toss player i am quite disappointed that this wasnt as good as the others
but cheers to you for making this thread anyway TOS REP
Bob300
Profile Joined April 2010
United States505 Posts
June 06 2010 15:45 GMT
#18
Terran one I think is still a bit better, but very nice. I want to see a zerg one now!!!
NYC Suburbs --- College Freshman --- Season 1 - Drone Whiskey
SoL[9]
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Portugal1370 Posts
June 06 2010 15:45 GMT
#19
On June 07 2010 00:38 Yme wrote:
Great thread! link to terran thread?


http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=119254

Enjoy
I Can Fly...
rwan
Profile Joined April 2010
Canada68 Posts
June 06 2010 15:48 GMT
#20
LOLOLOL TL;DR part is halarious!
...But the parasites say NO!
1 2 3 4 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Next event in 6h 54m
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
WinterStarcraft318
Nina 229
RuFF_SC2 172
StarCraft: Brood War
Sea 4172
Sexy 69
NaDa 57
Terrorterran 14
Icarus 6
Dota 2
LuMiX1
Counter-Strike
Stewie2K1087
Super Smash Bros
Mew2King194
amsayoshi49
Other Games
summit1g10795
tarik_tv8941
shahzam710
JimRising 461
C9.Mang0217
ViBE208
Organizations
Other Games
gamesdonequick1288
BasetradeTV23
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 15 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• Hupsaiya 81
• practicex 4
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Migwel
• sooper7s
StarCraft: Brood War
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
League of Legends
• Doublelift4560
• Lourlo732
• Stunt308
Upcoming Events
CranKy Ducklings
6h 54m
BSL20 Non-Korean Champi…
10h 54m
CSO Cup
12h 54m
BSL20 Non-Korean Champi…
14h 54m
Bonyth vs Sziky
Dewalt vs Hawk
Hawk vs QiaoGege
Sziky vs Dewalt
Mihu vs Bonyth
Zhanhun vs QiaoGege
QiaoGege vs Fengzi
FEL
1d 5h
BSL20 Non-Korean Champi…
1d 10h
BSL20 Non-Korean Champi…
1d 14h
Bonyth vs Zhanhun
Dewalt vs Mihu
Hawk vs Sziky
Sziky vs QiaoGege
Mihu vs Hawk
Zhanhun vs Dewalt
Fengzi vs Bonyth
Sparkling Tuna Cup
3 days
Online Event
3 days
uThermal 2v2 Circuit
4 days
[ Show More ]
The PondCast
5 days
Replay Cast
5 days
Korean StarCraft League
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

CSL Xiamen Invitational
Esports World Cup 2025
Murky Cup #2

Ongoing

Copa Latinoamericana 4
Jiahua Invitational
BSL20 Non-Korean Championship
BSL Team Wars
CSLPRO Last Chance 2025
CC Div. A S7
Underdog Cup #2
IEM Cologne 2025
FISSURE Playground #1
BLAST.tv Austin Major 2025
ESL Impact League Season 7
IEM Dallas 2025
PGL Astana 2025
Asian Champions League '25

Upcoming

ASL Season 20: Qualifier #1
ASL Season 20: Qualifier #2
ASL Season 20
CSLPRO Chat StarLAN 3
BSL Season 21
RSL Revival: Season 2
Maestros of the Game
SEL Season 2 Championship
uThermal 2v2 Main Event
FEL Cracov 2025
HCC Europe
ESL Pro League S22
StarSeries Fall 2025
FISSURE Playground #2
BLAST Open Fall 2025
BLAST Open Fall Qual
Esports World Cup 2025
BLAST Bounty Fall 2025
BLAST Bounty Fall Qual
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2025 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.