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Girls and love issues - Page 2

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Eatme
Profile Blog Joined June 2003
Switzerland3919 Posts
November 09 2005 23:16 GMT
#21
I did almost the same thing all summer. but even worse. I were hoping for a one night stand and all of a sudden had a girlfriend. If you dont have feelings for her and alot in common it wont work. Just raise your standards and wait til someone you like shows up. Unfortunatly they dont show up at your door that often.

And if they do, look out for ninjas.
I have the best fucking lawyers in the country including the man they call the Malmis.
Chanoipy
Profile Joined May 2004
Canada320 Posts
November 09 2005 23:25 GMT
#22
If you always try to get back with a girl after you break up, you'll never know if you want to get up because you really want to be with her, or because you are just feeling lonely and want the affection/attention which you were recieving while you were in the relationship. If you really do break up, you should wait for a week, or even two weeks, or better yet, a month, and see how you feel. Chances are you were just clinging, and after a few weeks you will realize that's the case, and that you really aren't attracted to this girl.

As for meeting someone -- First, be more confident in yourself. If you really want to meet someone, then just meet her. What do you have to lose? seriously. You might be clinging onto a superficial kind of 'affection' where you admire her from afar but rarely talk to her. Is that really what you want? If she blows you off, then at least you know where you stand.
Also, sure, looks are important, but make sure you aren't discovering things about her personality and habits which turn you off, and then make up excuses like 'well, she'll change', 'well, I can live with those things'.. Of course people will always have things that arent attractive to you, but if you find yourself thinking that a lot, then you might want to stop and think about your relationship.

Also people are telling you to be more confident.. Really understand the meaning of this. First, girls want a feeling of security and protection from their 'man'. I dont know how much of this is just based on cultural values, but regardless this seems to be the case. If you are totally dependant on a girl, always wanting to hang around her (as a friend, that is), needing her around you to make you happy, etc. You are sending a bad message.. I feel stupid for saying all these things in a forum, but essentially being more confident in yourself will improve your self image (ie. the feeling of desperation from getting older and still being single) and how other people see you (not necessarily just your 'target' girl).

.... yeah...
...
John Doe
Profile Joined November 2005
Fiji71 Posts
November 10 2005 00:04 GMT
#23
First off - you don't love her. More importantly, you need not worry about your age. Some people are 50 without ever having dating. Don't settle for something because it's convenient. Be patient (easier said than done, I know, but it will eventually pay off) and stop trying so hard. It is completely unnecessary. StealthBlue has the right idea - the only way to truly guarantee a solid relationship (IMO) is to become best friends, so when the sex isn't always there - you have a great time. Lastly - if you're honestly looking for advice on women @ TL.net (a BW gaming site) then you might be beyond rescue. I'm sorry.
To know that we know what we know, and to know that we do not know what we do not know, that is true knowledge.
Hot_Bid
Profile Blog Joined October 2003
Braavos36379 Posts
November 10 2005 00:10 GMT
#24
On November 10 2005 09:04 John Doe wrote:
First off - you don't love her. More importantly, you need not worry about your age. Some people are 50 without ever having dating. Don't settle for something because it's convenient. Be patient (easier said than done, I know, but it will eventually pay off) and stop trying so hard. It is completely unnecessary. StealthBlue has the right idea - the only way to truly guarantee a solid relationship (IMO) is to become best friends, so when the sex isn't always there - you have a great time. Lastly - if you're honestly looking for advice on women @ TL.net (a BW gaming site) then you might be beyond rescue. I'm sorry.

ok do the exact opposite of what this guy says. if it's convenient, date. even if you don't like her that much, date. it's not a big fucking deal and it shouldn't be so important. you get experience going out, talking to girls, being single, etc. that "50 without ever having dated.. don't settle" is just an excuse ugly virgins say to justify why they suck so much with girls.

DO NOT attempt to be just friends with her, because she will see you as a brother and platonic friend and never fuck you, ever. if some guy posts after me and says "no it's happened to me! i was friends with girl x and we eventually dated" either a) she was with someone when you guys became friends or b) you were too much of a wuss to act on it so you guys just waited.

and the whole "Lastly - if you're honestly looking for advice on women @ TL.net (a BW gaming site) then you might be beyond rescue. I'm sorry." part, i have a strong suspicion John Doe is the one needing advice haha
@Hot_Bid on Twitter - ESPORTS life since 2010 - http://i.imgur.com/U2psw.png
mnm
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States4493 Posts
November 10 2005 00:25 GMT
#25
You get into relationships too fast. Date around longer so you don't get stuck with a girl you don't really like. Instead you'd be going out with a bunch of girls you like. Isn't that a better deal?
http://www.teamliquid.net/store http://www.teamliquid.net/gallery/
Future_sc
Profile Blog Joined December 2004
United States783 Posts
November 10 2005 00:50 GMT
#26
you said you dont know if you are in love with her. You will know, trust me, if you are in love.
Twitter @Future_sc Twitch.tv/Future_sc
NewYorkHardCore
Profile Joined October 2005
Sweden126 Posts
November 10 2005 01:16 GMT
#27
Wow, I definately don't regret posting this on these boards. These matters are kind of sensitive, but then again alot of guys have similar issues or just good advice, and boy have you given good advice! Just for the record, I can talk to girls, and girls tell me I look good. No bragging, just saying.

Yea I know, I guess its about being more of a man and not being so fucking clinging, like a mamas boy. That is definately an issue of mine I just realized. I have a strong attachment to stuff in the past sometimes, and it comes back to haunt me.

Also this thing about me being desperate is probably very true now that I think of it. Basically I'm desperation personified at the moment. I dunno why, but I sometimes get these ideas that I have to be perfect and that everyone has to like me. This hasn't anything to do with the topic though, so I won't plunge deeper into it.

Anyways, it's like you need to get laid sometimes just to see that you still got it.
But I dunno, many of you guys say that you shouldn't look for love so desperately but I just feel bad about it. Sure I have had feelings for girls, but not real love I think. "You'll know when you fall in love" seems to be accurate. Thought so also.

Starparty: Yea I know, I have done that in the past, but its just like I'm 26 now and I feel old, lol. Im like at the wrong side of 25, ya know? Leaning more towards 30...and I get anxious about not having a girlfriend whom I love.
I live in Kalmar now, used to live in Lund =) Studying to "Socionom". Kind of like social work but much more academic.
Ok Frits, I will simply take your word for it.

She treats me great, although likes to argue alot about things. She likes to be treated as a princess, which of course she should be by someone who loves her. Im trying, Im a really nice guy mostly, except when I say stupid shit like that with the makeup.

StealthBlue, I can't agree either. Being girls with a friend CAN result in a relationship but usually the attraction vanishes if you become too good friends, unfortunately, because this would be golden otherwise.

BTW, what excatly do you guys mean with "Stop being shallow"? Is it that I should stop just looking for girls looks? Or is it that I should care less about other peoples opinions?
I know, Im too shallow, its just I dunno, I care alot about what other ppl think about me. ALOT.

Rayzorblade: Sounds like very good advice actually. I felt some hope after reading what you wrote, lol Sounds like the perfect love.

Yea she is an ok girl, but its just that I could never be in a relationship where things about the girl would annoy me and if I didn't love her. Love is necessary unless you marry for money. Love is everything. Alot of things about her annoy me. Small stuff, but nevertheless.

lol Eatme, if I ever come to Switzerland I will look out for ninjas. Never seen one in these arctic regions.

Chanoipy, exactly. You really nailed it there with not knowing whether I love her or I'm feeling lonely. I think its just loneliness though. I think I will do just that, break up and just see how I feel about it after a month.
No, your right. Thats not what I want, what if she has like something about her that annoys the hell out of me. Then good looks wont help her. I am like decently confident in myself about some things, but I always feel like inferior to others, including girls.
Yea, what your saying about habits and things about personality etc, its just very right. Theres lots of that going on with this girl that annoys me. It sucks.
Again I agree about girls wanting to feel secure and safe. That is a fact. Sure many people will say not everyone do etc, and sure maybe not everyone does. BUT many girls want this. I know myself as well since I've asked some girls.
Actually those last words of yours really made me think...

John Doe: Your right, I don't. I also tend to think that its easier to find a girl and love when your more relaxed than when you are desperate, and its probably true. Its just that I panic from time to time and go nuts. The reason I wrote this here, is cuz I wanted advice from other guys on these matters. You make it sound like everyone here are nerds? lol

Hot_bid, yea dating never harms anyone. Its a good way to meet new women indeed. I have dated alot this fall. I also strongly agree about the friendship thing. Its just the wrong way to go mostly.
Lol, I was like, sure there are normal people on here too. Not just gamers who play 24/7 and never talk to women except their mom, and I was right.

mnm: Damn right it is, haven't thought about it like that...
Future: Okey

Basically I will know when its love right?

Winners never quit and quitters never win
mnm
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States4493 Posts
November 10 2005 01:35 GMT
#28
Don't look for love. Just let it happen.
http://www.teamliquid.net/store http://www.teamliquid.net/gallery/
Chanoipy
Profile Joined May 2004
Canada320 Posts
November 10 2005 02:38 GMT
#29
This 'dont look for love, just let it happen' seems so cryptic and vague.. but actually it is true. If you try really hard to look for love, you might actually be accidentally pushing it away. The reason (imo) that love 'just happens' is because when you are actively looking for a relationship, you will indavertently force a relationship that might not work out, just because you desire one (key example, getting back with a girlfriend right after breaking up).. But if you are not looking for one and it develops naturally, then it actually is a true form of love (or the beginning of one).
...
mnm
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States4493 Posts
November 10 2005 02:48 GMT
#30
ty for clarifying that Chanoipy
http://www.teamliquid.net/store http://www.teamliquid.net/gallery/
Casper...
Profile Joined October 2002
Liberia4948 Posts
November 10 2005 02:55 GMT
#31
thing with hot girls is that they tend to be lazy fucks
meaning they don't squat up proper and milk the cock, but instead just sort of sit there and move a bit
SQUAT UP AND MILK THE COCK BEYOTCH
JAM THE FUCKER!
IntoTheWow
Profile Blog Joined May 2004
is awesome32277 Posts
November 10 2005 02:57 GMT
#32
On November 10 2005 11:55 Casper... wrote:
thing with hot girls is that they tend to be lazy fucks
meaning they don't squat up proper and milk the cock, but instead just sort of sit there and move a bit
SQUAT UP AND MILK THE COCK BEYOTCH



AHHAHAhaAHAHAHAHAHH
Moderator<:3-/-<
Passion
Profile Joined December 2003
Netherlands1486 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-11-10 03:04:56
November 10 2005 02:59 GMT
#33
love is the new religion.

like a lot of you laugh about religions now,
so will others in a couple of years about love.

if you enjoy being with her, just enjoy it. dont think about the future. people change, circumstances change, its not in your hands. enjoy the moment. blablabla.

edit some more sense to my post ^_^
Casper...
Profile Joined October 2002
Liberia4948 Posts
November 10 2005 03:13 GMT
#34
On November 10 2005 11:57 IntoTheWow wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 10 2005 11:55 Casper... wrote:
thing with hot girls is that they tend to be lazy fucks
meaning they don't squat up proper and milk the cock, but instead just sort of sit there and move a bit
SQUAT UP AND MILK THE COCK BEYOTCH



AHHAHAhaAHAHAHAHAHH


you know i'm right
i invest that much time and effort and money i want a finished product
not some selfish bitch with gradeschool fuck skills

how someone fucks tells you basically everything u need to know about them
JAM THE FUCKER!
John Doe
Profile Joined November 2005
Fiji71 Posts
November 10 2005 03:24 GMT
#35
NewYorkHardCore - Sorry for the miscommunication, I didn't directly mean that you are a nerd or that anyone else is for that matter, it's just you shouldn't be taking advice too seriously from people here @ TL.net because 99% of them are well under your age and have never touched a boob. Don't kid yourselves guys. As for Hot_Bid - I won't even bother with your shallow comments because you have no idea what a real relationship is, and even if you did, you would realize that a true relationship has both friendship AND love. End of story. Say I need advice, sure - if that helps you sleep at night, but I was trying to offer my opinion to a confused man, not directly offend anyone. And lastly - back to NewYorkHardCore, I wanted to say relax man, there are bigger issues than stressing over women. Enjoy life now and it will all fall into place. It should feel natural (loving another person) rather than having to debate in your mind what you do and do not feel. Hope this helps.
To know that we know what we know, and to know that we do not know what we do not know, that is true knowledge.
Hot_Bid
Profile Blog Joined October 2003
Braavos36379 Posts
November 10 2005 03:28 GMT
#36
On November 10 2005 12:24 John Doe wrote:
As for Hot_Bid - I won't even bother with your shallow comments because you have no idea what a real relationship is, and even if you did, you would realize that a true relationship has both friendship AND love. End of story.

you're right, instead of dating around and hooking with lots of girls my age, i should look to get married by the long and arduous process of friends-first, which entails plenty of frustrated, sexless nights. surely i can't date and have fun now THEN look for a wife later. that would be just stupid.
@Hot_Bid on Twitter - ESPORTS life since 2010 - http://i.imgur.com/U2psw.png
Ha.cK
Profile Joined March 2005
United States271 Posts
November 10 2005 03:30 GMT
#37
once again. no ninjas. :[
wtf
HappyManRun
Profile Joined November 2005
1111 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-11-10 16:18:45
November 10 2005 16:10 GMT
#38
On November 10 2005 08:25 Chanoipy wrote:

As for meeting someone -- First, be more confident in yourself. If you really want to meet someone, then just meet her. What do you have to lose? seriously. You might be clinging onto a superficial kind of 'affection' where you admire her from afar but rarely talk to her. Is that really what you want? If she blows you off, then at least you know where you stand.


Ah... I entirely feel that statement of Canoipy's is for me.
Thx for preaching.

Dude NewYorkHardcore, You sounded like freakin' ROMEO! How come you can't get girls if you sounded like Romeo~ I don't get it :p

O and advice to you:
Don't rush it too fast, make it nice and smooth.

P.S.
Good thread, very amusing to the very least. ROfl at casper.
I happy, thus I run.
88)WhyYouKickMyDog
Profile Joined July 2004
United States608 Posts
Last Edited: 2005-11-10 16:35:12
November 10 2005 16:27 GMT
#39
casper, i dont like you, but that is still hilarious lololol

gl man, just go with the flow and you'll be fine. If you get lonely, its not too tough to find a girl. If you want something more out of the relationship, then do what you gotta do (get rid of the dead-end relationship). Since you hate having to hurt people when you just date and get bored, i've found its just a problem you gotta deal with and work through. They won't hate you for pursuing what you want, theyll just be a little pissed at first, but they know its for the best.
PockyPocky
Profile Joined April 2005
Canada305 Posts
November 10 2005 16:46 GMT
#40
i see 2 options for u~
1. if u plan to think with ur cock -> go fuck horny whores and let it out

2. if u plan to look for "love" (some thingy beyond physical) -> dont point ur dick at ppl that are more interested in (long term/any) relationships who want to find that special someone

- if all you think about when u're with a girl is how hot other girls are or how you want a threesome as meat in a alba/lohan sandwich -> go to option 1
- if you start thinking about what you can do to be considerate (gift/make something) = take time to invest in her -> go to option 2

in all seriousness, i dont believe people that fuck around a lot can justify this so called "love" thing (i guess definitions changes over time -> the most recent one being = sex sex sex until around 30 -> find someone make family = love).... so good luck
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