On August 26 2010 10:06 Beef Noodles wrote:
Persephone (Artosis), captured by Hades (IdrA) and raped repeatedly into submission, has accepted her role as the second fiddle mistress of the Swarm.

“So Beef?” You might say. “You just said Artosis is a great Zerg player because he’s worse than IdrA and hasn't preformed very well?” Well sir, we must remember we’re all worse than IdrA. Also, Artosis has something IdrA will never have. A brain. That gorgeous Artosis brain.

_______________________________________________________________________________
Is all this possible in SC2? I don’t know. I’m not hear to complain. I’m here to get back some of that lost swagger all Zerg players had. How did we lose it? Theory 1: n00b Zergs. Answer 1: STOP PLAYING OUR RACE! (or stop complaining). Theory 2: Terrans are draining our pride. Answer 2: who gives a fuck what a Terran says? They are Terran because a high ladder rank is the only thing assuring them that their penises are still inside their camouflage cargo pants.

Win...

As entertaining as your last post imo.

Beef Noodles

United States937 Posts

August 26 2010 19:37 GMT

#83

Spelling is not my forte... and it's not like I am taking my time on these, looking over drafts, and getting feedback from my publisher. But, yes I fixed the typo.

rastaban

United States2294 Posts

August 26 2010 19:45 GMT

#84

Excellent work, just what my zergy heart needed.

cyrus.beacon

United States22 Posts

August 26 2010 20:51 GMT

#85

I love you Beef. My favorite parts were the hairy clarinet penises and the Terrans with camouflage cargo pants. It is almost enough to make me want to go try Zerg again, but I can't handle the Queen macro...guess I just don't have enough balls.

Where the heck is Artosis? Someone must have told him about this by now.

Slow Motion

United States6960 Posts

August 26 2010 21:29 GMT

#86

My favorite thing about these write-ups is that the people/race (or their attached fanboys) being mocked don't realize it at all.

Doraemon

Australia14949 Posts

August 27 2010 01:12 GMT

#87

for the swarm!!!!!

brain_

United States812 Posts

August 27 2010 01:15 GMT

#88

Hehe... I love Artosis but this was hilarious. IdrA's blushing bride LOL

Deindar

United States302 Posts

August 27 2010 01:19 GMT

#89

Seriously 2nd best thread i've ever read only slightly behind the comprehensive look at idra. keep it up

J3rk

United States25 Posts

August 27 2010 01:27 GMT

#90

Haha Dictate!

I see what you did there :p

nihoh

Australia978 Posts

August 27 2010 01:31 GMT

#91

is Greek mythology a subject of enthusiastic perusement in America or are TL users jsut big geeks?

Nicely written I suppose.

[-]Ocelot[-]

United States256 Posts

August 27 2010 01:44 GMT

#92

The Swarm is strong with this one.

Let there be SWARM!

But really these posts are hilarious and so righteously good. Thank Kerrigan I play Zerg! BY THE SWARM does it feel good.

dabom88

United States3483 Posts

August 27 2010 04:31 GMT

#93

Do Dimaga next! He's probably the most popular of the SC2 Zerg Players.

shinarit

Hungary900 Posts

August 27 2010 06:41 GMT

#94

That compare to a hen was hilarious :D

Also Editor's note if full of win too.

keioh

France1099 Posts

August 27 2010 07:18 GMT

#95

I play Zerg and I played the clarinet when I was a young boy (pun intended). It wasn't a hairy penis, but the thing is I find myself kind of confused now. Am I a glorious swarm hero, like I thought I was, or am I a repressed protoss ? (Terran is out of a question : I don't think there is a point in playing a human race when you are a human person.)

brothathunda

United States35 Posts

August 30 2010 21:48 GMT

#96

I think my favorite part pete was the "does kerrigan put out on the first date" sentence, but by that point I was already laughing at the hilarious replacement of the words map control with the word balls. I guess you could call that a metonym? I don't know, I'm no english major, but either way, great job. I do somewhat agree with whoever said that you're coming out with them a little too fast. Consider Christopher Paolini... He waits 10 years between each fucking book!!!!!.. Ok don't wait that long, because I'll kill you, but I do think you should let these sit and age like a fine wine.