Dude, Zealously said he felt like shit for feeling the way he did, and I was just saying it's okay to feel that way. The people who are still alive are the ones who have to deal with tragedy.

OuchyDathurts

United States4588 Posts

December 09 2013 16:44 GMT

#22

If you feel like you need to call someone, talk to someone, meet someone just do it. That is what friends and family are for man. I hadn't cried in forever, never when anyone had passed, not when I buried my dog, I didn't think I was capable anymore. I'd get very sad obviously, my heart would ache, but I could never cry. When I saw my grandpa in the hospital I blubbered like a bitch, and you know what? There was nothing wrong with it. If its what you need to do just do it, let it out. You spend time with friends and family making good times, there's no reason you cant lean on them in bad times. If your friend needed someone to talk to in your situation you'd be there in a second right? It should be no different the other way around.

The hole will never be gone. I still get bittersweet thinking about my grandpa. A lot of stuff reminds me of him since we spent a lot of time together. Some of it makes me smile, some of it makes me sad he's not around anymore. That hole never goes away but it does get easier with time. Try and celebrate the good moments, don't dwell on regrets, things you did wrong, something stupid you said. While you can use them to be a better person don't beat yourself up over anything.

I'm sorry about your loss, I hope you're able to find some comfort.

Dizmaul

United States831 Posts

December 09 2013 16:51 GMT

#23

Man that is so terrible. I cant imagine what the person who hit her thinks... living with that for the rest of your life.

NovemberstOrm

Canada16217 Posts

December 09 2013 16:57 GMT

#24

sorry Zealously T_T

Plexa

Aotearoa39261 Posts

December 09 2013 17:09 GMT

#25

T_T <3

Ctone23

United States1839 Posts

December 09 2013 17:20 GMT

#26

Thoughts and prayers with you and your family.

sabas123

Netherlands3122 Posts

December 09 2013 18:00 GMT

#27

sucks hearting that

just hang in there bro<3

shiroiusagi

SoCal, USA3955 Posts

December 09 2013 18:10 GMT

#28

Much hugs.

StarVe

Germany13591 Posts

December 09 2013 20:52 GMT

#29

Just terrible. My cousin died in a car accident three years ago and I still remember that time very well.

I hope you have a lot of people to hug and talk to if you feel like it. It can help immensely.

Sorry for your loss.

radscorpion9

Canada2252 Posts

December 09 2013 22:03 GMT

#30

Well hopefully a heaven exists and she's there

. I think you'll get to appreciate time a lot...every wound heals even this one. Time erases everything back to normality; you just have to try to focus on other things and you'll float on

BigFan

TLADT24920 Posts

December 10 2013 02:13 GMT

#31

That's pretty rough. Sorry to hear about this. You've got your family and TL to support you! As for telling your sister, I'm not sure what to tell you there. Someone has to tell her and it might be better if it's her brother than someone who's not as close. It's going to be rough for her to hear and she'll like end up crying a lot but you can't keep this a secret. It's fine to feel miserable even if you weren't the one who lost their live seeing as there is a bond there. Good luck Zealously!

stuchiu

Fiddler's Green42661 Posts

December 10 2013 04:23 GMT

#32

My condolences. T_T

Zealously

East Gorteau22261 Posts

December 10 2013 10:18 GMT

#33

Thank you, it means a lot to me.

Kasaraki

Denmark7115 Posts

December 10 2013 15:09 GMT

#34

Oh no.

My condolences.

*hugs*

EJK

United States1302 Posts

December 11 2013 19:22 GMT

#35

my condolences as well. IT's the things that hurt the most though that ultimately make you a stronger person

Keeemy

Finland7855 Posts

December 12 2013 15:05 GMT

#36

Wow, just read this. My condolences.

Zealously

East Gorteau22261 Posts

December 12 2013 22:24 GMT

#37

tili

United States1332 Posts

December 13 2013 23:24 GMT

#38

I'm really sorry to hear about this Zealously.

Godspeed and condolences to the family and friends.

enord

France258 Posts

December 15 2013 11:33 GMT

#39

look at your sister in the eyes and don't hold your emotions in when they come pouring out when you tell her (or anyone else concerned) about it..

hold her close and tell her she is not alone.. even though this is probably a lie.. we are always alone when facing our worst fears

do cry it out, do yell outside cursing everyone for not stopping everything they are doing
there is never any shame in feeling and displaying that you hurt so much inside it needs to come out

right now (and maybe for a few days) you need to hit a mattress set upright against the wall, you need to hit it as hard as you can with your fists, for hours on end, until your arms cannot be felt anymore and your eyes seem like they are all done pouring the frustrations and sorrow you are feeling

grieving is essential to your survival (your sister's .. everyone around),
things like attending a wake where/when everyone shares .. recalling the departed within your mind .. with others .. learning or telling new stuff about the departed .. making yourself (and others) hurt TOGETHER while trying to keep her alive metaphorically ..

..this will not solve a thing in the "now" but it will help you (and others) move on as sanely as possible

right now, it is the end of your world and that is the sane reaction to have..

i am sorry to have to say that such wounds never heals up, nor should they ...

.. however, one day (in a few months, a few years..) you will manage to smile or even laugh wholeheartedly again without feeling bad about it

i cry alone in my corner, once or twice a year for people i lost, i talk about them to other people whenever possible/sensible/applicable (things like "he would have said.." or "i remember when he did this..") to make myself "feel" their presence (to make em alive) and to thank life for the time i had with them

right now, nothing i say will help really, but trust me.; after a while, you will acknowledge what i acknowledged and it will help:

you will never forget her and she is now part of you

[opening arms to hug you]