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Have you ever been caught jacking off? - Page 23

Forum Index > General Forum
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flamewheel
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
FREEAGLELAND26782 Posts
May 06 2010 23:27 GMT
#441
I'm with the 5%.
Writerdamn, i was two days from retirement
dronebabo
Profile Blog Joined December 2003
10866 Posts
May 06 2010 23:28 GMT
#442
--- Nuked ---
trackd00r
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
Chile284 Posts
May 06 2010 23:32 GMT
#443
LMAO this stories are so freaking hilarious
''They put signs, but I can't read''
Rotodyne
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
United States2263 Posts
May 06 2010 23:35 GMT
#444
oh my god XazXio, you are fucking ridiculous, it's awesome : D
I can only play starcraft when I am shit canned. IPXZERG is a god.
tinman
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States287 Posts
May 06 2010 23:39 GMT
#445
On May 07 2010 06:49 XazXio wrote:
uh ive been caught twice both by my mom. 2 times realy close with my dad. including last night.

first time i was on the far side of my bed that if i dove down on the side i was sitting on you couldnt see me from the door. so im doing my thing then i hear the door knob turn im like shit.
i dive on the ground as fast as i can, i mean like zealot leg speed fast i dove on that ground fast. i dont know if she saw anything that time but she asked what are you doing on the floor. i perked my head up barly over my bed like a poor mole on the wack a mole games and the best thing i could think of was, " I fell." took me a minute before i relized how stupid that was i fell like the worst escuse ever.

2nd time this one was a lot worse. i was by my closet this time. after the first time of going im going to cover myself better this time so i had a blanket just in case. and this blanket probably had countless cum stains on it from when i previously had beaten it and i used the blanket as a landing pad for the millions-billions of sperms to parashoot on. so im sitting down closet is open because thats where i got blanket from. mom turns handle im like fucckkk. i just went screw my damn pants and grabbed the blanket. now this time i know she didnt see anything but when you hunched over giving a stained blanket the biggest bear hug you have ever seen someone give you sort of get the picture of whats going on. this time i said, " I'm not ready." and she walked out. after she left i looked at the closet looked down relized i just crawled out of bed and i wasnt wearing any clothes before. so i shove the blanket back in my closet, put on some underwear and shorts and laid in my bed for about 20 minutes curled up next to my cat, untill my mom came in again.

Last night. this time i was in computer room before my parrents got home. i was constiplating about it going should i? i finaly went to do it. i had everything set up, towel, porn video going, dick in left hand, check. i get right ready first pull i hear the front door opening. im like shitttt. so i close out the video and turned off comp screen, and pulled pants up and walked out with a horazontal tent leading the way. and i go to the bathroom lock the door and sit there for a minute to think. i let my boner set, i get out go to the door where i dropped my backpack off and put it in the computer room and hit the power button on computer. and go into my room. i come back later that night to comp and go phew, as he had not checked comp history yet.

about a year ago i was doing it in my parrents room. i dont know what i guess for an adventure or w/e. and im doing it im compleatly naked, pants arnt around ankles or anything. (HUGE TIP: always do it with pants around ankles, always.) i hear movment in my house, my dad got back. i kick my clothes under thier bed and run into thier bathroom. im sitting going fuck im naked in thier bathroom, my dad is walking around the house, and my clothes are in thier room. then i heard him go into his room going shit shit shit, he left im just thank goddd. i sneak open the door crawl on my belly to my pants under the bed grab my cloths slither back and lock the door to the bathroom. after siting for a minute to rest my balls that probably just formed calluses on them from dragging them across the floor while putting all my wieght on them i got an idea. put clothes on so i did. flush toilet, so i did. and walked out into living room. my dad goes why you use my bathroom? i say that because we had two differant toilet seats i wanted to compare the two to see which molds to my ass the best.

scarrry stuff getting caught by your parrents, friends brothers sisters would be a lot less wierd than your parrents.... and they never let me finish...


hahahahaha.... A+ would read again.
"Politics is an extravagance, an extravagance about grievances. And poetry is an extravagance about grief. And grievances are something that can be remedied, and griefs are irremediable."
Prof. Protoss
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
Germany744 Posts
May 06 2010 23:47 GMT
#446
"I wanted to compare the two to see which molds to my ass the best. "


roooflfllll :D
very creative!
Don't mess the fess!
[UoN]Sentinel
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States11320 Posts
May 07 2010 00:03 GMT
#447
epic improv
Нас зовет дух отцов, память старых бойцов, дух Москвы и твердыня Полтавы
nttea
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Sweden4353 Posts
May 07 2010 00:04 GMT
#448
when i was younger my mom always complained on me for locking the door to my room all the time, then one time i forgot to lock the door and she ofc being the considerate mom she is just walked in without knocking.... that was the day she stopped complaining about me locking the door.
LOcDowN
Profile Joined February 2003
United States1015 Posts
May 07 2010 00:13 GMT
#449
o m f g epic epic epic xazxio, if only i could repped on this site
Rkie
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States1278 Posts
May 07 2010 00:56 GMT
#450
great thread
phyren
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States1067 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-05-07 01:24:28
May 07 2010 01:22 GMT
#451
I've been trying to hold off, but I just can't. This needs to be included in this thread.



better quality version:
Orpheos
Profile Joined April 2010
United States1663 Posts
May 07 2010 01:27 GMT
#452
yea... i call bullshit on the third option
Wargizmo
Profile Joined March 2010
Australia1237 Posts
May 07 2010 01:34 GMT
#453

Does this poll mean 6% of TL readers are women?
Information is not knowledge. Knowledge is not wisdom. Wisdom is not truth. Truth is not beauty. Beauty is not love. Love is not music. Music is best. - Frank Zappa
LunarDestiny
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
United States4177 Posts
May 07 2010 01:36 GMT
#454
On May 07 2010 10:27 Orpheos wrote:
yea... i call bullshit on the third option

Nah, those are just underage votes.
EmeraldSparks
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
United States1451 Posts
May 07 2010 01:38 GMT
#455
believe it or not there are adult males who don't jack off
But why?
Versita
Profile Joined February 2010
Canada1032 Posts
May 07 2010 01:40 GMT
#456
6% of the people that voted are lying. :>
I woke up when I was in grade 9 I think and started to beat the meat. My dad came in (without knocking, so rude!) and I quickly pulled my pants up. I'm not sure if he realized what I was doing, but I think he did.
KH1031
Profile Blog Joined April 2003
United States862 Posts
May 07 2010 01:44 GMT
#457
what is jack off?

i only know jack bauer
SoManyDeadLings
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Canada255 Posts
May 07 2010 01:45 GMT
#458
No, thankfully.
wsrgry
vOddy
Profile Joined July 2009
Sweden402 Posts
May 07 2010 01:55 GMT
#459
There are asexual people, you know.
"You generate awesomeness. It just flows from you."
Zeke50100
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
United States2220 Posts
May 07 2010 02:12 GMT
#460
I'm pretty sure I'm not lying >.>
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