• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EST 09:40
CET 15:40
KST 23:40
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
RSL Season 3 - RO16 Groups C & D Preview0RSL Season 3 - RO16 Groups A & B Preview2TL.net Map Contest #21: Winners12Intel X Team Liquid Seoul event: Showmatches and Meet the Pros10[ASL20] Finals Preview: Arrival13
Community News
[TLMC] Fall/Winter 2025 Ladder Map Rotation13Weekly Cups (Nov 3-9): Clem Conquers in Canada4SC: Evo Complete - Ranked Ladder OPEN ALPHA8StarCraft, SC2, HotS, WC3, Returning to Blizzcon!45$5,000+ WardiTV 2025 Championship7
StarCraft 2
General
Zerg is losing its identity in StarCraft 2 [TLMC] Fall/Winter 2025 Ladder Map Rotation Mech is the composition that needs teleportation t RotterdaM "Serral is the GOAT, and it's not close" RSL Season 3 - RO16 Groups C & D Preview
Tourneys
RSL Revival: Season 3 Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament Constellation Cup - Main Event - Stellar Fest Tenacious Turtle Tussle Master Swan Open (Global Bronze-Master 2)
Strategy
Custom Maps
Map Editor closed ?
External Content
Mutation # 499 Chilling Adaptation Mutation # 498 Wheel of Misfortune|Cradle of Death Mutation # 497 Battle Haredened Mutation # 496 Endless Infection
Brood War
General
FlaSh on: Biggest Problem With SnOw's Playstyle BGH Auto Balance -> http://bghmmr.eu/ What happened to TvZ on Retro? SnOw's ASL S20 Finals Review BW General Discussion
Tourneys
[Megathread] Daily Proleagues Small VOD Thread 2.0 [BSL21] RO32 Group D - Sunday 21:00 CET [BSL21] RO32 Group C - Saturday 21:00 CET
Strategy
PvZ map balance Current Meta Simple Questions, Simple Answers How to stay on top of macro?
Other Games
General Games
Clair Obscur - Expedition 33 Should offensive tower rushing be viable in RTS games? Path of Exile Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Nintendo Switch Thread
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
TL Mafia Community Thread SPIRED by.ASL Mafia {211640}
Community
General
Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine US Politics Mega-thread Russo-Ukrainian War Thread Artificial Intelligence Thread Canadian Politics Mega-thread
Fan Clubs
White-Ra Fan Club The herO Fan Club!
Media & Entertainment
Movie Discussion! [Manga] One Piece Anime Discussion Thread Korean Music Discussion Series you have seen recently...
Sports
2024 - 2026 Football Thread Formula 1 Discussion NBA General Discussion MLB/Baseball 2023 TeamLiquid Health and Fitness Initiative For 2023
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
SC2 Client Relocalization [Change SC2 Language] Linksys AE2500 USB WIFI keeps disconnecting Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread
TL Community
The Automated Ban List
Blogs
Dyadica Gospel – a Pulp No…
Hildegard
Coffee x Performance in Espo…
TrAiDoS
Saturation point
Uldridge
DnB/metal remix FFO Mick Go…
ImbaTosS
Reality "theory" prov…
perfectspheres
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 2492 users

Have you ever been caught jacking off? - Page 23

Forum Index > General Forum
Post a Reply
Prev 1 21 22 23 24 25 30 Next All
flamewheel
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
FREEAGLELAND26781 Posts
May 06 2010 23:27 GMT
#441
I'm with the 5%.
Writerdamn, i was two days from retirement
dronebabo
Profile Blog Joined December 2003
10866 Posts
May 06 2010 23:28 GMT
#442
--- Nuked ---
trackd00r
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
Chile284 Posts
May 06 2010 23:32 GMT
#443
LMAO this stories are so freaking hilarious
''They put signs, but I can't read''
Rotodyne
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
United States2263 Posts
May 06 2010 23:35 GMT
#444
oh my god XazXio, you are fucking ridiculous, it's awesome : D
I can only play starcraft when I am shit canned. IPXZERG is a god.
tinman
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States287 Posts
May 06 2010 23:39 GMT
#445
On May 07 2010 06:49 XazXio wrote:
uh ive been caught twice both by my mom. 2 times realy close with my dad. including last night.

first time i was on the far side of my bed that if i dove down on the side i was sitting on you couldnt see me from the door. so im doing my thing then i hear the door knob turn im like shit.
i dive on the ground as fast as i can, i mean like zealot leg speed fast i dove on that ground fast. i dont know if she saw anything that time but she asked what are you doing on the floor. i perked my head up barly over my bed like a poor mole on the wack a mole games and the best thing i could think of was, " I fell." took me a minute before i relized how stupid that was i fell like the worst escuse ever.

2nd time this one was a lot worse. i was by my closet this time. after the first time of going im going to cover myself better this time so i had a blanket just in case. and this blanket probably had countless cum stains on it from when i previously had beaten it and i used the blanket as a landing pad for the millions-billions of sperms to parashoot on. so im sitting down closet is open because thats where i got blanket from. mom turns handle im like fucckkk. i just went screw my damn pants and grabbed the blanket. now this time i know she didnt see anything but when you hunched over giving a stained blanket the biggest bear hug you have ever seen someone give you sort of get the picture of whats going on. this time i said, " I'm not ready." and she walked out. after she left i looked at the closet looked down relized i just crawled out of bed and i wasnt wearing any clothes before. so i shove the blanket back in my closet, put on some underwear and shorts and laid in my bed for about 20 minutes curled up next to my cat, untill my mom came in again.

Last night. this time i was in computer room before my parrents got home. i was constiplating about it going should i? i finaly went to do it. i had everything set up, towel, porn video going, dick in left hand, check. i get right ready first pull i hear the front door opening. im like shitttt. so i close out the video and turned off comp screen, and pulled pants up and walked out with a horazontal tent leading the way. and i go to the bathroom lock the door and sit there for a minute to think. i let my boner set, i get out go to the door where i dropped my backpack off and put it in the computer room and hit the power button on computer. and go into my room. i come back later that night to comp and go phew, as he had not checked comp history yet.

about a year ago i was doing it in my parrents room. i dont know what i guess for an adventure or w/e. and im doing it im compleatly naked, pants arnt around ankles or anything. (HUGE TIP: always do it with pants around ankles, always.) i hear movment in my house, my dad got back. i kick my clothes under thier bed and run into thier bathroom. im sitting going fuck im naked in thier bathroom, my dad is walking around the house, and my clothes are in thier room. then i heard him go into his room going shit shit shit, he left im just thank goddd. i sneak open the door crawl on my belly to my pants under the bed grab my cloths slither back and lock the door to the bathroom. after siting for a minute to rest my balls that probably just formed calluses on them from dragging them across the floor while putting all my wieght on them i got an idea. put clothes on so i did. flush toilet, so i did. and walked out into living room. my dad goes why you use my bathroom? i say that because we had two differant toilet seats i wanted to compare the two to see which molds to my ass the best.

scarrry stuff getting caught by your parrents, friends brothers sisters would be a lot less wierd than your parrents.... and they never let me finish...


hahahahaha.... A+ would read again.
"Politics is an extravagance, an extravagance about grievances. And poetry is an extravagance about grief. And grievances are something that can be remedied, and griefs are irremediable."
Prof. Protoss
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
Germany744 Posts
May 06 2010 23:47 GMT
#446
"I wanted to compare the two to see which molds to my ass the best. "


roooflfllll :D
very creative!
Don't mess the fess!
[UoN]Sentinel
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States11320 Posts
May 07 2010 00:03 GMT
#447
epic improv
Нас зовет дух отцов, память старых бойцов, дух Москвы и твердыня Полтавы
nttea
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Sweden4353 Posts
May 07 2010 00:04 GMT
#448
when i was younger my mom always complained on me for locking the door to my room all the time, then one time i forgot to lock the door and she ofc being the considerate mom she is just walked in without knocking.... that was the day she stopped complaining about me locking the door.
LOcDowN
Profile Joined February 2003
United States1015 Posts
May 07 2010 00:13 GMT
#449
o m f g epic epic epic xazxio, if only i could repped on this site
Rkie
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States1278 Posts
May 07 2010 00:56 GMT
#450
great thread
phyren
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States1067 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-05-07 01:24:28
May 07 2010 01:22 GMT
#451
I've been trying to hold off, but I just can't. This needs to be included in this thread.



better quality version:
Orpheos
Profile Joined April 2010
United States1663 Posts
May 07 2010 01:27 GMT
#452
yea... i call bullshit on the third option
Wargizmo
Profile Joined March 2010
Australia1237 Posts
May 07 2010 01:34 GMT
#453

Does this poll mean 6% of TL readers are women?
Information is not knowledge. Knowledge is not wisdom. Wisdom is not truth. Truth is not beauty. Beauty is not love. Love is not music. Music is best. - Frank Zappa
LunarDestiny
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
United States4177 Posts
May 07 2010 01:36 GMT
#454
On May 07 2010 10:27 Orpheos wrote:
yea... i call bullshit on the third option

Nah, those are just underage votes.
EmeraldSparks
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
United States1451 Posts
May 07 2010 01:38 GMT
#455
believe it or not there are adult males who don't jack off
But why?
Versita
Profile Joined February 2010
Canada1032 Posts
May 07 2010 01:40 GMT
#456
6% of the people that voted are lying. :>
I woke up when I was in grade 9 I think and started to beat the meat. My dad came in (without knocking, so rude!) and I quickly pulled my pants up. I'm not sure if he realized what I was doing, but I think he did.
KH1031
Profile Blog Joined April 2003
United States862 Posts
May 07 2010 01:44 GMT
#457
what is jack off?

i only know jack bauer
SoManyDeadLings
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Canada255 Posts
May 07 2010 01:45 GMT
#458
No, thankfully.
wsrgry
vOddy
Profile Joined July 2009
Sweden402 Posts
May 07 2010 01:55 GMT
#459
There are asexual people, you know.
"You generate awesomeness. It just flows from you."
Zeke50100
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
United States2220 Posts
May 07 2010 02:12 GMT
#460
I'm pretty sure I'm not lying >.>
Prev 1 21 22 23 24 25 30 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
WardiTV Korean Royale
12:00
Group Stage 1 - Group A
WardiTV764
LiquipediaDiscussion
Kung Fu Cup
12:00
2025 Monthly #3: Day 5
Reynor vs herOLIVE!
RotterdaM985
TKL 459
IndyStarCraft 311
SteadfastSC183
IntoTheiNu 59
Liquipedia
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
RotterdaM 923
TKL 459
Reynor 431
IndyStarCraft 311
SteadfastSC 183
Rex 174
MindelVK 19
Railgan 17
StarCraft: Brood War
Britney 33432
Rain 8814
Sea 3486
Horang2 1718
BeSt 1426
GuemChi 725
Soma 670
actioN 540
Mini 534
Stork 512
[ Show more ]
EffOrt 409
Rush 249
hero 183
Hyun 161
Killer 131
Last 110
Snow 96
Bonyth 92
Mind 69
Barracks 63
Sharp 62
scan(afreeca) 60
zelot 54
sorry 48
yabsab 47
sas.Sziky 33
Shinee 25
NaDa 12
Hm[arnc] 11
Bale 10
Dota 2
Gorgc3948
singsing2855
qojqva1916
Dendi1106
XcaliburYe210
Counter-Strike
byalli592
oskar95
Heroes of the Storm
Khaldor307
Liquid`Hasu217
Other Games
FrodaN4287
B2W.Neo1448
Pyrionflax362
DeMusliM359
KnowMe137
Organizations
Dota 2
PGL Dota 2 - Main Stream18011
PGL Dota 2 - Secondary Stream2818
StarCraft: Brood War
Kim Chul Min (afreeca) 6
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 15 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• Adnapsc2 8
• Dystopia_ 7
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Migwel
• sooper7s
StarCraft: Brood War
• FirePhoenix1
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
Dota 2
• WagamamaTV460
• Ler79
Upcoming Events
BSL 21
5h 20m
JDConan vs Semih
Dragon vs Dienmax
Tech vs NewOcean
TerrOr vs Artosis
IPSL
5h 20m
Dewalt vs WolFix
eOnzErG vs Bonyth
Replay Cast
8h 20m
Wardi Open
21h 20m
Monday Night Weeklies
1d 2h
Replay Cast
1d 8h
WardiTV Korean Royale
1d 21h
BSL: GosuLeague
2 days
The PondCast
2 days
Replay Cast
3 days
[ Show More ]
RSL Revival
3 days
BSL: GosuLeague
4 days
RSL Revival
4 days
WardiTV Korean Royale
4 days
RSL Revival
5 days
WardiTV Korean Royale
5 days
IPSL
6 days
Julia vs Artosis
JDConan vs DragOn
RSL Revival
6 days
Wardi Open
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Proleague 2025-11-14
Stellar Fest: Constellation Cup
Eternal Conflict S1

Ongoing

C-Race Season 1
IPSL Winter 2025-26
KCM Race Survival 2025 Season 4
SOOP Univ League 2025
YSL S2
BSL Season 21
CSCL: Masked Kings S3
SLON Tour Season 2
RSL Revival: Season 3
META Madness #9
BLAST Rivals Fall 2025
IEM Chengdu 2025
PGL Masters Bucharest 2025
Thunderpick World Champ.
CS Asia Championships 2025
ESL Pro League S22
StarSeries Fall 2025
FISSURE Playground #2
BLAST Open Fall 2025

Upcoming

BSL 21 Non-Korean Championship
Acropolis #4
IPSL Spring 2026
HSC XXVIII
RSL Offline Finals
WardiTV 2025
IEM Kraków 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter 2026: Closed Qualifier
eXTREMESLAND 2025
ESL Impact League Season 8
SL Budapest Major 2025
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2025 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.