EPTPoetry, O ye who sucketh
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defenestrate
United States579 Posts
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
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DeadVessel
United States6269 Posts
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jr.
Slovenia41 Posts
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vGl-CoW
Belgium8305 Posts
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Aepplet
Sweden2908 Posts
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Beyonder
Netherlands15103 Posts
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
On September 03 2007 02:29 Beyonder wrote: Tony little working out YES edit: WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG? WE WANT OUR PROSE! | ||
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DeadVessel
United States6269 Posts
inspiration | ||
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fuglyfrog
United States521 Posts
RebelHeart's frustrated battle against his penis. | ||
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
Fucking poetry cock tease! | ||
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defenestrate
United States579 Posts
On September 03 2007 02:25 DeadVessel wrote: Decapitated chickens and stillborn mice. Another day. The sun will rise. The Voodoo-mouse is huge with child, She looms above her minion mice, Domestic, lab, or merely wild. But Voodoo’s joy is not to last, For Fate is but a fickle whore. A beast unheard of in the past, A headless fowl, a man’s repast, Ran by and kicked her with its spur. Two weeks have passed. She labors hard And squeezes out her mousy brood. They lay, unmoving, bloody, marred, Their tiny eyes with death imbued. Her babies lost, her hopes betrayed, The Voodoo-mouse lays down a curse. The chicken, boneless, butchered, flayed, Inside a grocer’s freezer splayed, Assembles in a way perverse. Another day. The sun has fled, And all the poultry run and hide, For Voodoo-mouse brings doom and dread With Frankenchicken at her side. | ||
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DhakhaR
United Kingdom721 Posts
verse inspired by a post from iNcontroL, wrecking whole brigades with vultures on patrol, wanna know if i get ill? You dont need a poll, i just fill a bowl, with stillborn mice, decapitate a chicken and serve it with rice, something related to starcraft would be nice, baby I can do it! i dont have to tell you twice. BBOOOOOOMMM brraaat braaatt | ||
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defenestrate
United States579 Posts
On September 03 2007 02:52 {88}iNcontroL wrote: TLNETTERS I THINK WE HAVE BEEN FOOLED! Fucking poetry cock tease! Eating atm. This stuff takes time. | ||
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
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ZaplinG
United States3818 Posts
alas, it is simple poetry at least to this i can identify but when the browser opens up false promises i see there is nothing here to read about nothing here for me. requests of tony little of bloody ovaries and hobbled toes seem to shrink and whittle as they are not put in to prose so there is nothing now that we can do besides sit around and wait In this forum built of blue for the man known as defenestrate (fuck, like 6 people posted while i was writing this  ) | ||
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defenestrate
United States579 Posts
The plight of the homosexual Christian homophobe. In memory of the Republican Party. Adolenscent, I could not Wank, for fear of eyeball rot. Porn was sinful, women vile. All I did was pray and smile. Claudio, my neighbor, friend, Stimulate my prostate gland, Keep on going, yes, you must! Satisfy my primal lust! Ostracize those dressed in drag! Burn in hell, you filthy fag! Satan holds you scum in thrall, Filthy buggers, one and all. Lord, forgive, I sorely lack All restraint when faced with sack. | ||
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Wysp
Canada2299 Posts
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Aepplet
Sweden2908 Posts
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ZaplinG
United States3818 Posts
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DeadVessel
United States6269 Posts
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intrigue
Washington, D.C9933 Posts
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Slayer91
Ireland23335 Posts
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Rev0lution
United States1805 Posts
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Hans-Titan
Denmark1711 Posts
Do one about the recent liquibition match! | ||
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paper
13196 Posts
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Yogurt
United States4258 Posts
nice | ||
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zizou21
United States3683 Posts
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IntoTheWow
is awesome32274 Posts
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defenestrate
United States579 Posts
On September 03 2007 04:23 intrigue wrote: do one about me beating savior tvz ez He's the Maestro, Ma Jae Yoon, You who would face him will perceive: From KeSPA's height dethroned so soon, He can still make his foemen grieve. Each zergling is a violin, Each mutalisk a silver flute; The lurkers lead his brass in din As they pursue their Terran food. Should you survive that gruesome day Do not be reckless, don't be proud. His hive tech enters into play And scourge will snipe your vessels stray To the cadenza of the cloud. Two hundred signs cheer Ma Jae Yoon, A thousand rabid fangirls scream. You're no one. Silence is your tune, You're going down (and none too soon!) TL dot net observes the stream. The match has started. SCVs Begin to harvest, badly split. Across the Peaks, drones hum like bees And pave the way for your defeat. You macro, micro, and control To stave off minimal harass. Three-hatch to lurkers? You don't know. Then mutas come to join the show. You are much deeper in the hole And struggle to preserve your ass. Your comsat sees a morphing hive. His mutas sing, your rines scream out, Among the bodies, zerglings thrive And of the outcome leave no doubt. You live on, struggling, holding course, Afraid your arms are going to freeze, And when the lurkers eat your force, With all your might, you cut the cheese. The great Maestro, Ma Jae Yoon, Caught without gas mask by the fart, Inflates his cheeks like a balloon And puts his hands atop his heart. A thousand fangirls choked and died. Two hundred signs now grace the dust. You grin, your chest puffed out with pride: You won by doing what you must. | ||
Xeofreestyler
Belgium6771 Posts
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Hot_Bid
Braavos36374 Posts
edit: the last one was so good holy crap | ||
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berated-
United States1134 Posts
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besiger
Croatia2452 Posts
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i.play.ZERG
Canada276 Posts
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gameguard
Korea (South)2131 Posts
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H
New Zealand6138 Posts
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distant_voice
Germany2521 Posts
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defenestrate
United States579 Posts
write one about Free not making the OSL or WCG and his sad face afterwards Pics or videos please. Are you an english major? I wish. Studying economics right now, but looking at English if I ever do grad school. | ||
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bumpirate
United States122 Posts
violets are blue why am i wasting my fucken time with this gay poem shit | ||
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crazie-penguin
United States1253 Posts
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crazie-penguin
United States1253 Posts
On September 03 2007 08:41 bumpirate wrote: roses are red violets are blue why am i wasting my fucken time with this gay poem shit because you're gay? | ||
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Dave[9]
United States2365 Posts
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bumpirate
United States122 Posts
maybe u want me to b gay?! u lil cocksuckin faggot.. | ||
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decafchicken
United States20019 Posts
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bumpirate
United States122 Posts
On September 03 2007 08:44 Dave[9] wrote: bumpirate, you aren't funny and please respect this guys talent, if not the english language you speak. didnt mentioned anything about his talent. english language?? | ||
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distant_voice
Germany2521 Posts
I  | ||
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fanatacist
10319 Posts
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ZaplinG
United States3818 Posts
keep it up. | ||
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EpiK
Korea (South)5757 Posts
nice one defenestrate! On September 03 2007 08:54 distant_voice wrote: ^ I yes, please | ||
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defenestrate
United States579 Posts
On September 03 2007 08:07 Hot_Bid wrote: write one about Free not making the OSL or WCG and his sad face afterwards This is for the losers of the qualifiers as a generic entity, as in your video (which was great, btw): http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=58574 It's late in the day and the theme is serious so don't expect it to be as good. For the Starleague prelims thrice per annum we meet, Half go on to the Starleagues; half drop in defeat. They who win in the spotlight shall battle-skills hone. We who lose fade away. We are many, alone. Like a racehorse, too old for the victories sweet Growing slow, turning weak, ever more obsolete, Newbies fresh out of school, those who once held the throne, The rejected, the losers, the many, alone. Some will quit, and reality they shall embrace And go work in an office and drink into daze, Slaving just for a paycheck, at home just to moan, Mediocre, generic, and many - alone. If depression doesn't set into game-hardened brain, I can see: in the future, more Starleagues remain. With more practice, I'll micro, I'll maynard each drone, And defeat my opponents, the many alone. From mass solitude each of us aims to ascend And to prove oneself better than foe and than friend, Shred the league, as a wolf rips the flesh from a bone And I'll stand at the summit, completely alone. | ||
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Myxomatosis
United States2392 Posts
can you write one about the shadow rush? | ||
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Hot_Bid
Braavos36374 Posts
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IntoTheWow
is awesome32274 Posts
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Lycaeus
United States1420 Posts
On September 03 2007 08:45 bumpirate wrote: maybe u want me to b gay?! u lil cocksuckin faggot.. this kid needs to get his ass kicked | ||
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defenestrate
United States579 Posts
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MeOwTheMinXi
Australia59 Posts
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Smurg
Australia3818 Posts
On September 03 2007 08:45 bumpirate wrote: maybe u want me to b gay?! u lil cocksuckin faggot.. Your name is 'bumpirate'...enough said? "Ahoy me hearties! Time to plunder some booty!" Male booty though. Calling people gay is the highest brow insult ever formulated. | ||
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IntoTheWow
is awesome32274 Posts
On September 03 2007 12:44 defenestrate wrote: Ah, thank you. Doing one more request tonight before I get sober and lazy. Time travelling TL.neters | ||
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intrigue
Washington, D.C9933 Posts
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Cambium
United States16368 Posts
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Yogurt
United States4258 Posts
you seriously have talent | ||
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alpskomleko
Slovenia950 Posts
My fingers move as of a ghost The 'puter hums, all doubts long gone My heart's a-pounding as I post. The time has come for all to see For all to marvel and to know The talent slumbering in thee -- I'm off the chair, I knee and bow! I bow my head and kiss your feet To show the world I 'preciate What you have written, what you did -- My favourite poet - defenestrate. | ||
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JensOfSweden
Cameroon1767 Posts
On September 03 2007 02:53 defenestrate wrote: Inc: what is a hobbled toe? Another day. The sun will rise. The Voodoo-mouse is huge with child, She looms above her minion mice, Domestic, lab, or merely wild. But Voodoo’s joy is not to last, For Fate is but a fickle whore. A beast unheard of in the past, A headless fowl, a man’s repast, Ran by and kicked her with its spur. Two weeks have passed. She labors hard And squeezes out her mousy brood. They lay, unmoving, bloody, marred, Their tiny eyes with death imbued. Her babies lost, her hopes betrayed, The Voodoo-mouse lays down a curse. The chicken, boneless, butchered, flayed, Inside a grocer’s freezer splayed, Assembles in a way perverse. Another day. The sun has fled, And all the poultry run and hide, For Voodoo-mouse brings doom and dread With Frankenchicken at her side. this is just rofl ^^ | ||
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Rchon
Canada91 Posts
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Romance_us
Seychelles1806 Posts
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JensOfSweden
Cameroon1767 Posts
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
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BlaCha
Poland743 Posts
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Nyovne
Netherlands19135 Posts
Really nice this, cheers! | ||
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fanatacist
10319 Posts
On September 04 2007 05:07 Nyovne wrote: How did I miss this, this is insanely good. Now all the world needs to be perfect is to have MSPaint drawings about these poems. Really nice this, cheers! Some of these are mad hard ): And because it's a collaborative work, the MSPaint has to be just as good as the poems... Otherwise it'd be an insult. And I think that's hard to do on MSPaint xD The point of MSPaint, I always thought, was for fun little drawings that didn't take much effort. These poems are probably worth more than that. | ||
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Oak
South Africa114 Posts
Let me see if i can find the link again. | ||
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uvaer
Norway157 Posts
On September 04 2007 06:54 Oak wrote: Dude you clearly have not seen that guy draw the Mona Lisa in MSPaint. So amazingly good. Let me see if i can find the link again. please do | ||
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Yogurt
United States4258 Posts
On September 04 2007 06:54 Oak wrote: Dude you clearly have not seen that guy draw the Mona Lisa in MSPaint. So amazingly good. Let me see if i can find the link again. but still, you must not have seen fantas drawings he's pro mspaint | ||
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Oak
South Africa114 Posts
Arggh, you guys beat me to it. Damn my slow internet's eyes! | ||
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defenestrate
United States579 Posts
What exactly are you on? :D Nothing while writing those poems. Beer afterward. fanatacist, I'm honored. I'm working on something for those reverse centaurs you and Steve drew | ||
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ilovezil
United States4143 Posts
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XCetron
5226 Posts
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SK.Testie
Canada11084 Posts
Come back and take more requests ! Or if you're not doing anymore... do one last poem about the disappointment we will all see knowing no more poems will come again. | ||
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DarkYoDA
United States1347 Posts
On September 04 2007 07:08 Yogurt wrote: http://youtube.com/watch?v=uk2sPl_Z7ZU but still, you must not have seen fantas drawings he's pro mspaint The color menu kept coming up made it look like he hotkeyed something.. lol... He's pro indeed though | ||
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SonuvBob
Aiur21549 Posts
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OhThatDang
United States4685 Posts
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fight_or_flight
United States3988 Posts
On September 04 2007 17:36 MYM.Testie wrote: REQUEST Come back and take more requests ! Or if you're not doing anymore... do one last poem about the disappointment we will all see knowing no more poems will come again. | ||
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defenestrate
United States579 Posts
Which to Giyom the Great gave birth, Another hero now steps forth; Let him be welcomed to the show. His famous user name describes One of a pair, which Tossgirl lacks, That normally resides in sacks And oft turns blue from certain vibes. "Off to Korea," he proclaims, In the prelims, he paves his way Through pros who haven't yet made their names. The league holds rather tougher games: He faces Im Yohwan today. Their forces clash, an epic bout. Then Boxer's out, our hero's in - To countless fans this brings chagrin. "Ssibal! Kesekki-a!" they shout. But he fights on despite duress. All that confronts him burns and bleeds, And Shudder shudders, Much is less, Sea[Shield] evaporates from stress, And Ma Jae Yoon salvation needs. As he returns to visit home, He wears the medals on his chest. The fans concede: he is the best, A true successor to Giyom. I'm going out of state until next Wednesday and will not have constant internet access. Please feel free to post requests, I'll try to check back as often as possible. | ||
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Romance_us
Seychelles1806 Posts
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ilovezil
United States4143 Posts
On September 05 2007 08:21 defenestrate wrote: From lands consumed by ice and snow Which to Giyom the Great gave birth, Another hero now steps forth; Let him be welcomed to the show. His famous user name describes One of a pair, which Tossgirl lacks, That normally resides in sacks And oft turns blue from certain vibes. "Off to Korea," he proclaims, In the prelims, he paves his way Through pros who haven't yet made their names. The league holds rather tougher games: He faces Im Yohwan today. Their forces clash, an epic bout. Then Boxer's out, our hero's in - To countless fans this brings chagrin. "Ssibal! Kesekki-a!" they shout. But he fights on despite duress. All that confronts him burns and bleeds, And Shudder shudders, Much is less, Sea[Shield] evaporates from stress, And Ma Jae Yoon salvation needs. As he returns to visit home, He wears the medals on his chest. The fans concede: he is the best, A true successor to Giyom. I'm going out of state until next Wednesday and will not have constant internet access. Please feel free to post requests, I'll try to check back as often as possible. If this was in response to my request, I wanted the element of anticlimax after the foreigner finds out bw = terminated T_T but awesome, nevertheless! | ||
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fanatacist
10319 Posts
On September 04 2007 07:08 Yogurt wrote: + Show Spoiler + but still, you must not have seen fantas drawings he's pro mspaint Haha thanks xD I knew about that and the MSPaint car by pixelgod. But that's 2 people in a million, hence why none of us expect something like that from anyone here. Which is why I said what I said, Oak. On September 04 2007 07:31 defenestrate wrote: My apologies. I didn't get anywhere with the time travel theme and just passed out last night. Nothing while writing those poems. Beer afterward. fanatacist, I'm honored. I'm working on something for those reverse centaurs you and Steve drew COOL n_n | ||
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Jim
Sweden1965 Posts
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Slowsu
United States103 Posts
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alffla
Hong Kong20321 Posts
"Ssibal! Kesekki-a!" they shout. OMG gold line | ||
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HeadBangaa
United States6512 Posts
On September 03 2007 02:48 fuglyfrog wrote: The plight of the homosexual Christian homophobe. In memory of the Republican Party. RebelHeart's frustrated battle against his penis. Do a poem about the sorrow of one-dimensional personalities. | ||
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LeoTheLion
China958 Posts
purity. essence of light shining, unblemished and bright sought by rebellious soul fighting for freedom in flight sensual lips and soft hair enter his vision--and bare flesh--catching glimpse of her glow melting resolve unaware pressure, it rises and burns deep in his member and churns agony, sweet! such desire writhes as he tosses and turns pleasure, the captive denies frantic, and shaking he cries No I will not I will not! thrashing, bewildered, he pries hands from engaging in thrust please, I must not! I must not... shrieking, enraged with disgust knees crashing down in the dust fallen. his essence unleashed ritual of darkness complete crawling to grace one more time hoping to fly--to be freed. | ||
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FunFluffyBunny
Sweden1696 Posts
So many hilarious poems. This thread definately deserves to be in the hall of fame. | ||
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Yogurt
United States4258 Posts
On September 08 2007 20:10 LeoTheLion wrote: "bondage" purity. essence of light shining, unblemished and bright sought by rebellious soul fighting for freedom in flight sensual lips and soft hair enter his vision--and bare flesh--catching glimpse of her glow melting resolve unaware pressure, it rises and burns deep in his member and churns agony, sweet! such desire writhes as he tosses and turns pleasure, the captive denies frantic, and shaking he cries No I will not I will not! thrashing, bewildered, he pries hands from engaging in thrust please, I must not! I must not... shrieking, enraged with disgust knees crashing down in the dust fallen. his essence unleashed ritual of darkness complete crawling to grace one more time hoping to fly--to be freed. haha nice rhythm | ||
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artofmagic
United States1951 Posts
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defenestrate
United States579 Posts
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Elwood Blues
United States261 Posts
Really though, there's some quality material in here! | ||
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defenestrate
United States579 Posts
![[image loading]](http://img170.imageshack.us/img170/4206/reversecentaursg0.png) ![[image loading]](http://img212.imageshack.us/img212/2751/tl7du6.th.jpg) Jim the centaur stood hunched at the edge of the cliff, Equine eyes dripping tears onto storm-sodden rock. His expression and posture exuded pure grief As he wept for the virginal state of his cock. Steve, his cousin, had asked him: "Good buddy, what's wrong?" And with porno and apples he tried to console - With no luck. Jim's frustration had gone on too long, And the sex-deprived centaur exposed his maimed soul. "At the office I slave every day, nine to five. Then I ask random women to come to my place. If I'm lucky, they say, 'Not while I am alive!' But more commonly they introduce me to Mace. "In dejection, I head to the stables at night. Even there, rotten luck takes a turn for the worse. All the stallions and mares just make jokes at my plight As they tell me, 'You're not even hung like a horse!' "Into digital realms for some solace I flee. I play Starcraft; I fail; I cannot even spam. Each opponent then gloats, 'Noobtard! GG no re!' My intestinal flatworms have more APM. "Why the fuck did God make me?!" he whinnied and wept, "I shall not know the smell of sweet vaginal juice!" Steve responded, "Self-pity you must not accept, For I know of a place where you can reproduce. "In the city of Washington, Congressmen dwell. When they're free from campaigning, their nature springs forth They will fuck any creature from Heaven or Hell, And, more relevant, any that come from this Earth." Jim the centaur was stunned at the glorious news. The idea had nearly captured his breath: No more gloom and depression, no more self-abuse! And he jumped up for joy - and fell off to his death. | ||
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Lycaeus
United States1420 Posts
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fanatacist
10319 Posts
Hahahahaha wow xD That is amazing! Great job. You took exactly what I wanted you to take from my drawing. | ||
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defenestrate
United States579 Posts
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fanatacist
10319 Posts
On September 16 2007 08:43 defenestrate wrote: fanatacist, thanks =) Could you paint Voodoo-mouse and Frankenchicken when you get the chance? Haha okay xD Don't expect the whole story though, that'd take hours I bet @_@ | ||
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defenestrate
United States579 Posts
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EpiK
Korea (South)5757 Posts
On September 08 2007 20:10 LeoTheLion wrote: "bondage" purity. essence of light shining, unblemished and bright sought by rebellious soul fighting for freedom in flight sensual lips and soft hair enter his vision--and bare flesh--catching glimpse of her glow melting resolve unaware pressure, it rises and burns deep in his member and churns agony, sweet! such desire writhes as he tosses and turns pleasure, the captive denies frantic, and shaking he cries No I will not I will not! thrashing, bewildered, he pries hands from engaging in thrust please, I must not! I must not... shrieking, enraged with disgust knees crashing down in the dust fallen. his essence unleashed ritual of darkness complete crawling to grace one more time hoping to fly--to be freed. lmao. nice job! it's creepy as fuck | ||
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ieatkids5
United States4628 Posts
The last one about the reverse centaur was pure kickass. | ||
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fanatacist
10319 Posts
On September 16 2007 13:01 ieatkids5 wrote: Hahaha defenestrate your poems are so pro. The last one about the reverse centaur was pure kickass. | ||
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defenestrate
United States579 Posts
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ieatkids5
United States4628 Posts
On August 20 2007 09:27 HeadBangaa wrote: Oh, here's a weird personal story from senior year of high school: During the English AP test, their was a Vietnamese chick sitting across from me, wearing short-shorts. Her back was to me, but I could see her long, smooth legs, and she kept crossing and uncrossing them, and sometimes rubbing them as she read the papers. It made such a sweet sound as she rubbed them, I wanted to eat her asshole out right there so badly. So I had this boner, and i kinda pushed it down so that it was stuck between my pants and my legs. And I realized that I could jerk myself off by swinging my legs together, because the pants were taut and rubbed it perfectly. So I spent 45 minutes doing this, driving myself nuts. I mean, I can't cum, I'm in the library. But it was so perfect. So I said 'fuckit' and came. I had been doing it for so long and had so much cum, I had to stop mid-O so I didn't soak my pants (beige cargo, it was the nineties gimme a break). I kind of wobbled to the bathroom after the test to pee, and it went in all crazy directions; I pee'd on my shoes and everything. I think I fucked up my plumbing a little bit, but the problems went away after a few days. It was a positive experience overall. I told my girlfriend about it, but not about the Pho's legs :D Hope you enjoyed my personal story. Edit - Erm, that might be too specific. | ||
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fanatacist
10319 Posts
On September 17 2007 02:39 ieatkids5 wrote: Edit - Erm, that might be too specific. That was one of the best stories I have ever read. Mad props to HB. | ||
FakeSteve[TPR]
Valhalla18444 Posts
On ancient winds o'er ancient sea By keyboard stroke, I summon thee Return and entertain defenestrate, pray, speak to me Of Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-dee; A tale of myth and fantasy Of knights and dragons slain Crank out some stanzas in the theme Of whatsoever comes to me My page refreshes endlessly; Combine keyboard and brain If you refuse, you'll only see A golf club swift against your knee Blood-drenched, I killed your family Do you know what I'm sayin' | ||
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Hot_Bid
Braavos36374 Posts
On September 18 2007 07:32 defenestrate wrote: Woolf, Sagan, Chomsky, Russell - each a fool. Such pointless trash young gamers read by rote. I, like Narcissus staring at his pool, Assure you: nothing rivals my own quote. George Carlin? Futurama? Starcraft nerds? Pathetic, really, hardly worth a sneer. And as I peer at my own lovely words, I know that they are truly without peer. | ||
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FirstBorn
Romania3955 Posts
On September 19 2007 19:50 FakeSteve[TPR] wrote: O ancient thread, return to me On ancient winds o'er ancient sea By keyboard stroke, I summon thee Return and entertain defenestrate, pray, speak to me Of Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-dee; A tale of myth and fantasy Of knights and dragons slain Crank out some stanzas in the theme Of whatsoever comes to me My page refreshes endlessly; Combine keyboard and brain If you refuse, you'll only see A golf club swift against your knee Blood-drenched, I killed your family Do you know what I'm sayin' more more more  | ||
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eugene17
Singapore174 Posts
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fanatacist
10319 Posts
On September 19 2007 19:50 FakeSteve[TPR] wrote: O ancient thread, return to me On ancient winds o'er ancient sea By keyboard stroke, I summon thee Return and entertain defenestrate, pray, speak to me Of Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-dee; A tale of myth and fantasy Of knights and dragons slain Crank out some stanzas in the theme Of whatsoever comes to me My page refreshes endlessly; Combine keyboard and brain If you refuse, you'll only see A golf club swift against your knee Blood-drenched, I killed your family Do you know what I'm sayin' That last stanza was awesome <3 | ||
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fight_or_flight
United States3988 Posts
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Pressure
7326 Posts
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fanatacist
10319 Posts
On September 20 2007 10:24 fight_or_flight wrote: Make a poem about kdog asking out the girl he's known for 5 years in this thread. Haha, I really can't wait for this one xD I'll make those MSPaints soon... Been busy <<. | ||
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fanatacist
10319 Posts
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SK.Testie
Canada11084 Posts
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Hot_Bid
Braavos36374 Posts
oov, savior, reach, yellow, all apply | ||
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defenestrate
United States579 Posts
I'm a little tied up right now, though. Will do something this weekend; Testie's idea looks promising. In the meantime, here's something I wrote for shits and giggles last winter while procrastinating on a paper. It probably won't be funny if you haven't read Beowulf. (If you haven't, Geat is pronounced Ye-aht, and Shieldings/Shield-Danes/Danes are used interchangeably in the original). Beowulf Condensed At Heorot did Hrothgar-king A lavish drinking hall proclaim Where mead in golden rivers ran From tankards numberless to man Through Shielding warriors of fame. But Grendel, monster of the lake, Foul spawn of Cain, by God's will cursed, Rejecting happiness in booze, Light, joyous prayers, golden hues, With Shielding lifeblood slaked his thirst. Across the sea came Beowulf, A Geat thane of some renown (Twelve winters happened first to pass) And once-proud Hrothgar kissed his ass. Wulf said, "I shall not let you down." Upon foul Grendel's next return They battled, meaning grievous harm But Beowulf, God-bless'd and good, Refused to turn to monster food And severed Grendel's wicked arm. The Shieldings' king then wined and dined The hero from across the seas And heaped much praise with royal voice: Obsequious, he did rejoice For lack of further obsequies. A bard then sang of combat past, Of monstrous treachery and hate - By men inflicted. 'Twas so strong, I heard italics in the song. Then Grendel's mom came, most irate. "Blood hath bought blood and body parts!" She might have Shakespeare paraphrased, But this had happened long before. She took Aeschere's head, full of lore, And her son's arm, amid drunk daze. Our hero boasted once again To battle evil 'neath the lake, And Unferth, by his deeds assured, Lent Beowulf his runic sword. 'Twas mighty Hrunting, not a fake. In halls of vileness Beo fought. Unarmed, she held the upper hand Against the Geat's sword and board. But on his side then stood our Lord And she was vanquished from the land. Then Beo crossed the sea once more, Returning home with wealth and fame. But Danes were soon by foes beset, Betrayers, human ones at that, And Heorot succumbed to flame. In Geatland two kings then fell And Beo rose to claim the throne. He was among the best of kings: Imposing, generous with rings. In war his land was left alone. A dragon woke five decades hence, Foul-tempered snake with flaming breath That yearned for vengeance on a thief And burned much land in Beo's fief, Its halitosis bearing death. Wulf couldn't resist a monster's lure In youth, or geriatric, now. He called the fighters of the day: "Come, whippersnappers, let us play!" To slay the beast they took a vow. But when the time for combat came All of the thanes but one had fled. Proud Wiglaf gave his full support, The dragon's might had come up short, And now the toothy one lay dead. The Lord was backing neither side And Beowulf was due to croak. The man was glad to keep his word, Grinned as he saw the dragon's hoard, To Wiglaf said, "You're king now, bloke." And Wiglaf spoke to Geats: "Kin, Though we lack not in gold or food, From foes we can't defend our land. There is much death and woe at hand; Our fighters' guts are saffron-hued." | ||
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fanatacist
10319 Posts
Msd long yo, might have been easier to do the paper xD It's good though. I would have tried to get extra credit. | ||
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rpf
United States2705 Posts
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fanatacist
10319 Posts
Hard to base work off others' works << Don't be harsh. | ||
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defenestrate
United States579 Posts
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SK.Testie
Canada11084 Posts
Defenestrate & Fanatacist are my heroes. | ||
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fanatacist
10319 Posts
On September 21 2007 09:14 defenestrate wrote: Hahah, badass. On September 21 2007 09:14 MYM.Testie wrote: Baaaad asssss Defenestrate & Fanatacist are my heroes. Thank you <3 | ||
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ieatkids5
United States4628 Posts
ill have to read a summary of Beowulf on wikipedia before I read the poem - i wanna enjoy it to its finest. of course they might have a copy of it at the library... | ||
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FakeSteve[TPR]
Valhalla18444 Posts
On September 21 2007 07:58 defenestrate wrote: Write more! Never, for I Have no spark in my eye And no fire on my brain To write poems again Please, let this one slide I didn't mean it, all right? As Miss Britney would say, "Oops I did it again" (And yes, I realize I could be criticized The winning road wasn't paved Rhyming 'again' with 'again') | ||
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IntoTheWow
is awesome32274 Posts
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A3iL3r0n
United States2196 Posts
Oh defenestrate! Thou art what thine art is, and so in rhyme, we hear what thine heart is. Oh hearken!, does we when defenestrate posts. Missing moments of boredom is what we love most. Toast! Is also the opposite of bread quite raw, His tightly written lines looses lots of guffaws. And now, His loosed doggerel chases me like the Hounds of Hell, Into a dark damp cave where now my vocabulary dwells. | ||
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SK.Testie
Canada11084 Posts
Fakesteve's poems do not appease. Lacking substance only you bring, Walls of my mind, they do not cling. Mine own creation, not up to par, Fit for bathroom stalls, of a rundown bar. A mistake just made, can you see? Point three out when read, and PM me. Lifted champagne glass, in your praise, To the future of poetic days! Effort needed, I must now cease. Allow myself to rest in peace. | ||
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defenestrate
United States579 Posts
Take for example a very short, untitled Akhmatova poem: Сказал, что у меня соперниц нет. Я для него не женщина земная, А солнца зимнего утешный свет И песня дикая родного края. Когда умру, не станет он грустить, Не крикнет, обезумевши: Воскресни! Но вдруг поймет, что невозможно жить Без солнца телу и душе без песни. …А что теперь? He said, none can comparison invite. To him I earthly womankind transcend, But I'm the winter sun's consoling light And song primeval of his native land. When I am dead, he will not merely grieve, He will not, maddened, for my rebirth long, But grasp: it is impossible to live For bodies sunless, souls bereft of song. …And what remains? I had to change the meter of the even lines, and it doesn't sound a tenth as elegant as it did in the original. It also took more time than the Beowulf thingy. Usually, the poems/songs are longer, and have more to juggle: should I compromise internal rhyme? the rhythm? sacrifice some of the meaning? Eat away too much and it's something new altogether. Sometimes, all but a single stanza goes well. I know that translations able to convey some of the original have been done before and anything short of that cannot be labeled complete. But it makes going back to writing original poems a hell of a lot easier, like going from playing B+ opponents on iccup to random public games on USEast. Experience says some things are pointless to try. I've tutored math for the last five years, and most of my students would not be able to decently understand intermediate algebra if they devoted their entire lives to it. I can't draw worth shit, and look upon the MSPaint thread with some awe. Ditto for pro Starcraft :p But once you establish that you have that iota of ability, all you need to do is devote a lot of time to it. O Steve the Fake, thy rhyming word Do not with haste decry: Of Yom Bo Sung you wouldn't have heard If he chose not to try. | ||
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fanatacist
10319 Posts
I will translate that after soccer practice if you want n_n. From a quick glance I can tell you did pretty well. | ||
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fanatacist
10319 Posts
On September 21 2007 11:56 MYM.Testie wrote: Defenestrate surely you tease Fakesteve's poems do not appease. Lacking substance only you bring, Walls of my mind, they do not cling. Mine own creation, not up to par, Fit for bathroom stalls, of a rundown bar. A mistake just made, can you see? Point three out when read, and PM me. Lifted champagne glass, in your praise, To the future of poetic days! Effort needed, I must now cease. Allow myself to rest in peace. Damn, that was mad good. I feel like the only shitty writer out there xD. | ||
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TehKris
Norway322 Posts
Would you know my name If I saw you in heaven? Would it be the same If I saw you in heaven? I must be strong And carry on, 'Cause I know I don't belong Here in heaven. Would you hold my hand If I saw you in heaven? Would you help me stand If I saw you in heaven? I'll find my way Through night and day, 'Cause I know I just can't stay Here in heaven. | ||
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defenestrate
United States579 Posts
On September 21 2007 06:14 MYM.Testie wrote: Do a suicide note for a man leaving the world behind. If you need a challenge, make a good reason for his suicide having to do with a piece of cheese. Also inspired by http://www.thenoobcomic.com/daily/strip221.html Not quite what you requested, but enjoy. The Ballad of Cheese Away from the cities existeth a dell Wherein with my paladin lover I dwell. Our life in the forest was merry and gay; Each morning my lover would bring a bouqet Of clovers and dogrose, bejeweled with dew, Professing a love that would always stay true. But honor would draw him from comfort and ease To magic dimensions of man-eating cheese. His armor was polished, his weaponry shone, No mount on the planet could equal his own. His comrades were noble, with nary a knave, Each swore to fight evil or fill up a grave. In battle formation they rode to the gate, Prepared to cross swords versus cheddar and fate. At night, all alone, I returned from the stream And slept, and in sleeping I saw in a dream Their banners all tattered, their faces in blood, As ravenous Roqueforts attacked in a flood. I woke with an image: embattled, morose, the righteous formation was gone; fighters froze. A day's worth of battle had sapped their reserve; A forty-foot gouda destroyed their last nerve. My lover fought on where the cowards all failed. Good fought against gouda; the gouda prevailed. Upon that foul cheese bloody vengeance I swore, And went to the city, and worked as a whore To buy mighty weapons. Collecting disease, I thought up new ways to torment hated cheese. Gods, fickle as ever, had dealt me a blow: My character level was simply too low To enter the portal that led to the Plane. So many foul blowjobs, conducted in vain, Had crushed what remained of my slight self-esteem. I went to the dell. Now I die by the stream. My lifeblood flows on from my wrists to my groin; My paladin lover in death I'll rejoin. | ||
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jtan
Sweden5891 Posts
and I laughed at this too O Steve the Fake, thy rhyming word Do not with haste decry: Of Yom Bo Sung you wouldn't have heard If he chose not to try. ty | ||
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ieatkids5
United States4628 Posts
i enjoyed the cheese one very much | ||
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