Being a male without much female interaction I find myself trying new and more exciting things. However, I believe I have stuck my manhood in every stickable object in my house except family members and pets.
My latest adventure during my alone time was when I was taking a bath in my big bathtub with jets. I thought it might feel good to stick my winky in the jets while the water came out. However I forgot that water from previous baths would still be in the jet line, and over night it had gotten cold. To sum up the story I stuck my dingaling in the jet and freezing cold water shot out. It completely ruined my plans and the mood with my bathtub was completely lost and I couldn't bring myself to try it again.
Soft foods are always a safe bet, though sometimes cleanup can be a bit of a pain. Another fun (and potentially dangerous if well endowed) one is filling a blender up with a fairly viscous fluid and hitting frappe. Just be careful not to go too far down.
On December 21 2006 23:30 skyglow1 wrote: I actually have no idea where I know this from, but try a watermelon (once you've made a hole in it of course).
Kind of a waste of a watermelon though, unless you're willing to eat it after x_x
On December 21 2006 23:30 skyglow1 wrote: I actually have no idea where I know this from, but try a watermelon (once you've made a hole in it of course).
Kind of a waste of a watermelon though, unless you're willing to eat it after x_x
On December 21 2006 23:30 skyglow1 wrote: I actually have no idea where I know this from, but try a watermelon (once you've made a hole in it of course).
Kind of a waste of a watermelon though, unless you're willing to eat it after x_x
Mora like the great herds of bison in days of old you too must go where the grass is short and wild men in loinclothes run around trying to stick you with pointy hard shafts.
You realize that the fate of the gay nation depends on your willingness to chase ass in the most literal sense possible?
On December 21 2006 23:42 oneofthem wrote: eh, watermelon is cold, and i dont think that would work too well. But i'll pay good money to get a picture of that and post it somewhere
Actually you put a thermometer in it, and stick it in the oven a while. Internal temp of 98 degrees and serve.
Saw it on the deleted scenes in Me, Myself and Irene.
On December 21 2006 23:42 oneofthem wrote: eh, watermelon is cold, and i dont think that would work too well. But i'll pay good money to get a picture of that and post it somewhere
Actually you put a thermometer in it, and stick it in the oven a while. Internal temp of 98 degrees and serve.
Saw it on the deleted scenes in Me, Myself and Irene.
can't get to the store right now, but thanks for the tip
I remember some news like this, but it was because he got stuck and he had to call ambulance and such... can't remember how did get him out... but it was funny.
I swear to God I saw one of my friends have sex with a stuffed animal. I was sleeping over at his house and he woke up before me. I was sleeping on the floor across the room and I just barely turned my head when I saw his backside going back and forth and that he had his pants down. I tilted my head a little for a better view and saw that he had his junk inside of a stuffed toy and that he was having sex with it. He obviously thought I was asleep (or maybe he just didn't care), but I knew I was then burdened with the task of telling everyone I've ever met what he did that morning. I guess the filling inside of those stuffed toys makes some kind of satisfying vaginal-esque friction. Consider this an option.
There was also a kid that I knew in kindergarten. When we had to take naps, that kid always slept in the little play house area in the back left corner of the room (it was just a play house area with a fake stove, microwave, bathroom and all that shit. There were also small walls around it and it totally concealed you when you went inside of it) Well, anyway, I slept across from this kid and EVERY SINGLE DAY he would pull down his pants, call my name, and flash me. Every single day. I guess he got bored with that after a while because then I noticed he stopped calling my name. I looked over one day out of curiosity and saw that he was putting his dick in a Play-Doh dispenser. Though I don't think this was for pleasure so much.
On December 22 2006 00:37 pubbanana wrote: I swear to God I saw one of my friends have sex with a stuffed animal. I was sleeping over at his house and he woke up before me. I was sleeping on the floor across the room and I just barely turned my head when I saw his backside going back and forth and that he had his pants down. I tilted my head a little for a better view and saw that he had his junk inside of a stuffed toy and that he was having sex with it. He obviously thought I was asleep (or maybe he just didn't care), but I knew I was then burdened with the task of telling everyone I've ever met what he did that morning. I guess the filling inside of those stuffed toys makes some kind of satisfying vaginal-esque friction. Consider this an option.
There was also a kid that I knew in kindergarten. When we had to take naps, that kid always slept in the little play house area in the back left corner of the room (it was just a play house area with a fake stove, microwave, bathroom and all that shit. There were also small walls around it and it totally concealed you when you went inside of it) Well, anyway, I slept across from this kid and EVERY SINGLE DAY he would pull down his pants, call my name, and flash me. Every single day. I guess he got bored with that after a while because then I noticed he stopped calling my name. I looked over one day out of curiosity and saw that he was putting his dick in a Play-Doh dispenser. Though I don't think this was for pleasure so much.
Poll: How long have you gone without sex? (Vote): Less than 2 weeks (Vote): Less than 2 months (Vote): Less than a half year! (Vote): more than 6 whole months.
On December 22 2006 00:37 pubbanana wrote: I swear to God I saw one of my friends have sex with a stuffed animal. I was sleeping over at his house and he woke up before me. I was sleeping on the floor across the room and I just barely turned my head when I saw his backside going back and forth and that he had his pants down. I tilted my head a little for a better view and saw that he had his junk inside of a stuffed toy and that he was having sex with it. He obviously thought I was asleep (or maybe he just didn't care), but I knew I was then burdened with the task of telling everyone I've ever met what he did that morning. I guess the filling inside of those stuffed toys makes some kind of satisfying vaginal-esque friction. Consider this an option.
There was also a kid that I knew in kindergarten. When we had to take naps, that kid always slept in the little play house area in the back left corner of the room (it was just a play house area with a fake stove, microwave, bathroom and all that shit. There were also small walls around it and it totally concealed you when you went inside of it) Well, anyway, I slept across from this kid and EVERY SINGLE DAY he would pull down his pants, call my name, and flash me. Every single day. I guess he got bored with that after a while because then I noticed he stopped calling my name. I looked over one day out of curiosity and saw that he was putting his dick in a Play-Doh dispenser. Though I don't think this was for pleasure so much.
I went to dance one day at my club conference and i danced w/ this girl and I masterbated to her w/ jets of water from the faucet in the tub. But mine was hot! Take that! :p
On December 22 2006 00:50 pr0n- wrote: ever tried using your hand(s)
you might also want to try this if you are searching for "pleasurable holes"
but man, ROFL.
even i ain't that desperate, and i haven't been laid for...ah that's offtopic
am i the only one that was extremely disturbed by that link?
i was actually searching for another site i remembered from while ago, with drawn pictures and an actual tutorial how exactly to perform it, was on a fun-blog site iirc. nvm, this one was more disturbing and thats what makes it funny ^^ and yeah, i was disturbed by that man, too. at least selffellatio is not such a pain in the ass as buttsecs. oh what a crappy pun
Autofellatio feels pretty damn nice, though I can't do it anymore without hurting myself. Try that if you've got some flexibility/length and aren't homophobic.
Other than that, I haven't really tried anything "out there". I've heard about warming watermelons before, though. Not really interested in trying it, considering.
O, and to those with an initial "wtf" reaction... There's nothing wrong with a little bit of creativity, off the wall or not. You don't have to indulge in it, but don't be naive in expecting only one set of doing things to feel normal or at least acceptable to others. :p
yeah, tolerance people, tolerance ftw. if sticking smth up your ass gets you off (or almost anything besides from children abuse), nothing to be scared about. just don't try sticking smth up MY ass unless you have my agreement xD that's all i demand.
On December 21 2006 23:42 oneofthem wrote: eh, watermelon is cold, and i dont think that would work too well. But i'll pay good money to get a picture of that and post it somewhere
btw if you have 100E try buying a sex doll... you can find them at every sex shop or a fleshlight, i dunno where but i remember seeing lots of commercials when i browsed porn sites
U ever heard of pringles pussy? strange nobody mentioned it yet, well i dunno but basiccally it works that u take a empty pringles can then put a condom in it and attach it with these rubber thing to the side and then u...
btw yeah i agree too many "this thread is gold" "hhahah <3 snet" "ROFL best post ever" i think we already know that this thread owns...
On December 22 2006 08:47 Flaccid wrote: As my old man once told me "Just don't stick your dick anywhere you wouldn't put your fingers". Wise words from a wise man.
At least that took light sockets and electrical outlets out of the equation.
2nd best post in the thread, next to Pubnanananaana's.
On May 08 2007 13:11 CharlieMurphy wrote: Stop searching for penis on tl.net
you'd be surprised what stuff you can find by hitting "search all" in the general threads section. There are over 500 pages of buried gold among these pages of threads~
Funny you bumped this because I was literally just thinking about that guy I saw (the one putting his dick in a stuffed toy) since I just now remembered the excuse he gave for it
Once swimming pool staff had to close jacuzzi because of some moron who stick his dick into one of the holes. They need to call fire brigade, and surgeon to pull his dick back.
On May 08 2007 13:52 PGS.Marine wrote: Once swimming pool staff had to close jacuzzi because of some moron who stick his dick into one of the holes. They need to call fire brigade, and surgeon to pull his dick back.
On May 08 2007 13:52 PGS.Marine wrote: Once swimming pool staff had to close jacuzzi because of some moron who stick his dick into one of the holes. They need to call fire brigade, and surgeon to pull his dick back.
OMFG! ROOOOOOOOFLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Talk about awkward and embarrassing Q_Q
I saw this once in a movie. Never crossed my mind that someone could actually be in this situation.
On December 21 2006 22:43 Snet wrote: Being a male without much female interaction I find myself trying new and more exciting things. However, I believe I have stuck my manhood in every stickable object in my house except family members and pets.
My latest adventure during my alone time was when I was taking a bath in my big bathtub with jets. I thought it might feel good to stick my winky in the jets while the water came out. However I forgot that water from previous baths would still be in the jet line, and over night it had gotten cold. To sum up the story I stuck my dingaling in the jet and freezing cold water shot out. It completely ruined my plans and the mood with my bathtub was completely lost and I couldn't bring myself to try it again.
On December 22 2006 01:17 HeadBangaa wrote: About 10 years ago, I remember having a conversation with a friend about "how to make a fifi", but I never got around to trying it.
EDIT: oh and of course, who hasn't had sex with a vacuum?
EPT
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P
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