On August 12 2012 00:38 SuperYo1000 wrote: Jumping in front of a German Shepard Dog that was out to bite my 9 year old daughter and getting my arm bitten
Wasn't the discussion about 20 seconds of insane courage?
I know courage is context based, but jumping in front of a dog for your daughter is surely just instinctual?
I just don't get it how people can be retarded by saying that using courage is selfish. You are not selfish if you help some bum who is being beaten up by thugs, or go to fire to save some kid, or die by sacrificing yourself for another. Stop looking at the depth of words you don't understand. Putting well being of others in front of yours is the best and greatest thing you can do in your life. That's the difference between humans and vegetables (people that exist for no obvious reason and are parasites in our society). Only animals can ignore fellow human beings that are in trouble. The noblest way to die is to sacrifice yourself to save others. If I would die I would choose to die for making good and showing example that there are still decent people in this world. I will not make rockets that travel at light speed, nor I am going to be some mastermind politician, so my best hope to serve humanity would be helping others.
Selfish - the one who cares only about himself. Selfless - the one who puts others in front of him.
I am so fucking ashamed that my fellow citizens 99% are selfish. If some1 is beating people on the street , if some drunk idiots are picking on a girl or some geek in public places they just watch and think why no one is interfering? I don't talk about running to the middle of gun fight and shout "stop it!" or going to help someone who probably deserved beating but about having decency in this indecent world and showing others example instead being another useless vegetable.
When I was in high school there was this croatian girl that I suddenly started to like about 2 weeks away from graduation. I have never seen her with a boy before and even her friends tell me that she has never had a boyfriend before so either she was really picky or just really shy. However it was mutually agreed between the guys in our grade that she was one of the prettiest girls in our class.
Right after our grade 12 retreat, I went to my locker and started packing up my stuff about to go home and then my crush walks past me so I decide to walk her to her car. Me and her have a good conversation on the way there about grad/college and stuff and when we got to her car I decided that it was the time to tell her about my feelings. I've had much longer crushes on girls and idk WTF drove me to suddenly start confessing to her but in my head I'm thiking "Fuck it, im graduating soon lets do it"
Now I've never done anything even close to this before so I literally go all out and told her that I really liked her, she was beautiful/pretty, smart and had class/cultured etc. When I was finished I looked at her and her expression was completely blank and then soon after she blushed and said something along the lines of "Omg really? or wow that's the nicest thing a guy has said to me".
NOTE: I didn't even talk to this girl much in highschool at all so it was pretty much an unexpected confession from a neutral guy in her life.
We then exchange numbers and she tells me that she's going to croatia soon for summer vacation and tells me that let's get to know each other first as friends before anything and to meet up when we come back for our first semester of University as she didnt want to be comitted to a relationship as soon as she was leaving for vaction. As soon as she drove off in her car I run into the Gym and yell out to all of my friends "OMG I ASKED X OUT AND SHE'S GIVING ME A CHANCE ETC ETC ETC" so needless to say the very next day we were the talk of the school. So we get to know each other a little bit better and we're a lot more friendly towards each other now. Then I remember that grad came up.....so a week later I decide to have another 20 seconds of courage.
So literally about 5 days away from grad, I still havn't decided on a grad date yet(NOTE: my school's graduating class is only about 50 people so the pool of women to choose from is non-existant). I've always been known as a shy and non-talkative guy and I still was after I confessed to my crush. I didn't really care much about Grad so finding a grad date was the last thing on my mind until I realized that it could be a chance for me and my crush to get closer together. I knew that me and her had an english final together and after the test I wait for her while socializing with my friends and when she came out of the final it turns out that she went towards the other exit to her car.
When I found this out I'm like OHSHIT, HOW AM I GOING TO ASK HER NOW? I thought about what would happen if I didnt go after her so I went for a round 2 and literally started running towards her and yelling out her name Korean Drama style and she looks at me and her expression on her face is like a "WUT? or WTF? in a cute/laughing manner". So I asked her to be my grad date and then she tells me that she was already going with a group of friends and they already paid for the limo already so she couldnt. After she told me I was devestated on how I should of asked her sooner... until she invited me to go along with them but as the shy guy I was back then I declined since I didn't really talk to any of her friends that she was going with. So I just told her that I would meet her there.
So long story short: we have a fun time at grad, I got accepted into a more prestigous university than the one that my crush was going to and I didnt tell her. We once meet again at a party and she asks me why I didnt go to her university in a way that she was expecting me to be there and then we just went our seperate ways.
The benefit of this was that it made me more confident towards women and everyone in highschool thought that I had balls of steel.
On August 11 2012 14:23 ieatkids5 wrote: was hanging out with a girl late at night at the university commons area. we were sitting on the couch together. both of us said we needed to "study." we had our books and notebooks on our respective laps, and she randomly asks me "are you gay" (rofl i have no idea why she would ask such a thing, don't ask) I decide, alright, she's shown the signs, all the signals are there, if i do it, what do i have to lose? a few minutes of embarassment? i lean in, wrap my left arm around her back, right arm around her head, and kiss her in the lips. she kisses back. after about 20 seconds, i said, "no, i'm not gay." and we've been going out ever since.
fuck embarrassment. fuck hesitation. just go do it. and if it doesn't work, what have you lost? a potential friendship? would that friendship have even gone well? what about all the other potential friends out there? or a few minutes of embarassment? who fucking cares? if it doesn't work out, you're never gonna see her again. it was good practice anyway.
On August 11 2012 14:15 xrapture wrote: Courage = committing an action with selfish motives-- same as every other action.
Courage = overcoming something that is difficult for you. It could be something as small as facing a simple fear or admitting the truth in a mistake or asking the person of your dreams out on a date. Or one of the biggest things of your life, asking said girl to marry you.
And there is nothing wrong with selfish actions. If you live life to be selfless, that in itself could be considered selfish. You are just as important as anybody else in this world.
I have a bit of social phobia but I've been working on it and have gotten so much better than a few years ago.
So the this past week I've just been doing a bit of dancing while at work with a few hundred people around to look at me. It's gotten quite fun and just makes me want to go clubbing LOL.
On August 11 2012 14:20 TommyP wrote: What about sacrificing your own life so someone else can live? How is that selfish?
You wanted to do it, makes you feel good, etc... thus selfish.
I had this conversation with someone that I went to college with, he thought that no action could ever not be selfish because you don't do anything that doesn't benefit you. The problem with this line of thought is it's attempting to diminish the actual act, but it doesn't. While subconsciously holding the door for someone may make me feel good, it's still something that I don't have to do to make someone else's day better.
When virtually all things you do are selfish, the word Selfish no longer has real meaning because it's a default quality of all things and is simultaneously unquantifiable.
So we then have to redefine the word Selfish in regards to actions, which to most people who haven't taken "that course in your freshman year of college that told you that and it stuck with you because you didn't really think about it" is the following:
An action that benefits explicitly yourself, no one else, and generally at the benefit of others.
Every action I do requires muscles but you don't see me telling people that shaking their hand is a "work out". You have to acknowledge that yeah, I guess objectively at some level everything you do is selfish because you wouldn't do anything that doesn't make you feel good or benefit you on some level (be it emotional or worldly), but you also have to recognize then that if selfishness is a default quality of all actions then an action can be simultaneously altruistic and selfish.
It's entirely possible to do something that is completely selfless and still feel good about it. Which essentially nukes that line of thinking.
LMFAO bolded part so good.
I had a moment of 20 seconds of courage a few weeks ago:
I'm going to see The Dark Knight Rises on my own cause none of my friends are free and I don't want to get ruined by spoilers. It's in the daytime and I go to a restaurant beforehand cause I don't want to see what is going to be the freaking BEST MOVIE EVER for me by being hungry (the Pancake Parlour... pancakes so delicious) and the waitress serving me has a great smile and was easy to talk to. I joke with her the few times she comes over, and I start to think... hang on, she actually is good looking with a great smile and is easy to talk to... should I ask her out?
I think about it a little as I'm eating my pancakes and then I have to go because the movie starts in 5 minutes... ok... what am I going to do? Do I have the courage? What do I say? ... ok instead of getting all messed up I'm just going to go up and pay and not force anything... just talk a little and if it's right it's right... so I go up and as I pay we talk a little and I think... yep just go for it, and I say "I wouldn't normally ask this, but.. are you single?"
She isn't
but she says she's flattered with that great smile. So I walk away but I feel great cause that's the first time I've asked a girl out from a store/restaurant
That's why you never ask if they are single. You just ask for their number. 9 times out of 10, even if they have a boyfriend you can usually get a number if you go about it right. Once you got the number, you are in the door.
Yeaaaah to me that's a bit of a dickish strategy, even if it might work better. I prefer a girl that would be honest from the get go.
If you people think the bolded part is the good part of this guy's post I don't think you understood his point. He's saying that, while all actions performed by compos mentis people are technically selfish, there are actions which give benefit to others and there are those which benefit the agent. The former actions are 'selfless' acts, especially if there is no actual benefit to the agent other than the fact that they did something they wanted to do. Bottom line: there is such a thing as selflessness, the bolded part of the guy's post is the part which he went on to argue with.
That's why you never ask if they are single. You just ask for their number. 9 times out of 10, even if they have a boyfriend you can usually get a number if you go about it right. Once you got the number, you are in the door.
Yeaaaah to me that's a bit of a dickish strategy, even if it might work better. I prefer a girl that would be honest from the get go.
She's a waitress for crying out loud. You aren't looking to wife the girl up, you're just looking for a good time.
It depends on the person mate. Some people aren't the "looking for a good time" type. Waitresses aren't all party girls looking for a fling (a majority are though).
Yeah I have no interest in fucking with someone else's relationship. You assume too much anyway, looking for a good time was the last thing on my mind when I asked if she was single.
On August 12 2012 00:19 nebffa wrote:nd the waitress serving me has a great smile and was easy to talk to. I joke with her the few times she comes over, and I start to think... hang on, she actually is good looking with a great smile and is easy to talk to... should I ask her out?
I think about it a little as I'm eating my pancakes and then I have to go because the movie starts in 5 minutes... ok... what am I going to do? Do I have the courage? What do I say? ... ok instead of getting all messed up I'm just going to go up and pay and not force anything... just talk a little and if it's right it's right... so I go up and as I pay we talk a little and I think... yep just go for it, and I say "I wouldn't normally ask this, but.. are you single?"
She isn't
but she says she's flattered with that great smile. So I walk away but I feel great cause that's the first time I've asked a girl out from a store/restaurant
Dude stop teasing. We know australian chicks are the hottest.
:p
p.s. enough with the 'courage is selfishness' argument... The best way I ever heard courage described is that there has to be fear present for someone to be courageous. We don't cheer and clap at people for people who walked down the street to get a cup of coffee - there's no fear involved in that: we don't say 'wow what a hero' about those people. It's only when there is FEAR present that someone has the opportunity to be courageous. Courage is acting in the face of fear, that's why it's a special quality and not everyone does it all the time - because we are afraid. Focusing on the motive is mostly missing the point; the reason why courage is so awesome is because someone acts in the face of fear, irrespective of motive.
Yeah I have a question, is it courage if a rapist abducts a child and abuses them repeatedly before killing them and dumping the body off a freeway? They act in the face of fear (of being arrested and sent to jail). If you judge irrespective of motive, I guess you can say they have been courageous even though most people associate the word courage with virtue...
On August 12 2012 10:43 sc4k wrote: Yeah I have a question, is it courage if a rapist abducts a child and abuses them repeatedly before killing them and dumping the body off a freeway? They act in the face of fear (of being arrested and sent to jail). If you judge irrespective of motive, I guess you can say they have been courageous even though most people associate the word courage with virtue...
I think so. Being courageous is just attempting to overcome your fears, whatever they may be.
On August 12 2012 10:43 sc4k wrote: Yeah I have a question, is it courage if a rapist abducts a child and abuses them repeatedly before killing them and dumping the body off a freeway? They act in the face of fear (of being arrested and sent to jail). If you judge irrespective of motive, I guess you can say they have been courageous even though most people associate the word courage with virtue...
Courage implies no selfish gain; you have to help someone while putting yourself at risk. The child rapist has deranged sexual gratification to gain, is selfishly motivated, and is thus not courageous.
For me it was breaking up a fight. I was thirteen at the time, and these guys were like 5 years older than me. But i thought it was the right thing to do. So i just went in between them and pushed them apart. Luckily some guys helped me out after that.
Also, i think that courage can both be for selfish reasons and unselfish reasons. Can't really be classified in either category individually.
On August 12 2012 00:35 StorkHwaiting wrote: My 20 seconds of courage:
I was out with friends eating chicken wings at hooters while waiting for our dates to show up to watch a movie. This was sometime during 10th grade. A guy who also went to our school, but we didn't like, came in with two of his buddies and sat at a table halfway across the room from us. For the next 20 min, my friends and them went back and forth insulting each other. Once we got outside, the trash talking got more heated and there was noise about a fist fight. But then the girls came so we told them to fuck off and went to the movies. After we got back out the movies, the guy and his friends were still hanging around (this was like an open air mall/theater complex) and talking trash.
I had about enough by this point, so we sent the girls home and went after them. They ran away though. Later, when the majority of my friends went home (there were about nine of us in total) it was only me and 1 other guy left. Those three guys started to talk a lot of shit thinking they had more numbers etc and began to flick me off from inside FAO Schwartz (there was a big glass wall/door to the entrance of the candy shop).
I was in a bad mood because they'd been going on with this all night, so I got up and went into the toy store. First rack I passed had baseball bats for sale. I picked one up, stormed into the candy shop where they were, and in front of a bunch of little kids and their mothers, I beat the three of them down with the baseball bat. Then security came so I tried to run, but they had all the entrances blocked off. I knew it would be really bad if I got caught, so I had my 20 seconds of courage. Or more like five. I threw the bat at one of the guards, and tried to barrel through the other guard out the entrance.
My body struck the glass door so hard the whole entrance shook with a bong sound. I realized the guards had straight up locked the doors. That was when they tasered me. When I came to, I was handcuffed in an office somewhere, and they were writing up a trespassing warrant. So, yeah, I couldn't take my girl to that mall for 3 years. Which is OK because we broke up a few weeks later coz she was a stupid ass devout Christian who went to bible study every sunday and was super stiff and miserable all the time trying to lecture me on how to behave and focus on my studies. She later married a Spanish baseball player who's super religious and freaky too. She is in great shape because she's a personal trainer, but even from facebook pictures I can still see the flames of fanaticism burning in her eyes. She would have been a horrible mother to my as-yet nonexistent children.
Back in my sophomore year of high school (maybe it was junior year, not sure), two of my friends and I were watching a baseball game after school. We decided we wanted some pizza, so after a quick discussion about who had money and how much, we started the 10 minute walk from the baseball field to the center of town. Just as we're leaving the campus, these four douchebags in the grade above us who were standing around a parked pickup started giving us some trouble, asking us for money or weed. I told them we didn't have any and we kept walking.
As we walked, we noticed their car go by a few more times, until finally they pulled up to where we were walking and two of them got out. These guys were huge - at least one of them played football and I'm pretty sure he was on steroids. He was clearly the leader, at least for the moment. Both my friends froze up as they were walking towards us, muttering under their breath about what we were going to do. Realizing that they couldn't, I knew I had to deal with this. I walked forward toward the huge guy leader (we'll call him Felicity) and met him halfway between the truck and my friends.
"I know you guys have something on you, either money or weed, we don't care which, but you're gonna give it to us."
I happened to have something like $40 in my pocket, and I knew my friends had two dollars between them since they'd agreed to pay me back for the pizza. I just told him, "Dude, I don't even smoke weed, and I don't have any money."
"Well what about one of them?" Felicity said, gesturing to my friends. "Hey, either of you got anything on you?"
One of my friends who was more nervous than the other started panicking and babbling incoherently. Seeing that he could be in some trouble if he showed his fear, I stepped in to take the heat off him. Making an executive decision, I figured two dollars was an acceptable sacrifice to take the heat off my friend and draw attention back to myself. "They just have like two bucks," I said. Right on cue, they pulled out the money and handed it over to Felicity, who again turned his focus to me.
"Come on man, I know you have some money on you. I don't care how much it is, just give me whatever you've got."
I happened to be wearing sunglasses, which up to this point I'd used to seem casual and unfazed, even though there was a good chance we were going to get our asses kicked. So I took off my sunglasses, looked him right in the eye, and said, "I don't have any money." I'd like to think the two Andrew Jacksons in my pocket were doing the "I'm not up to anything" whistle. I held eye contact for a full 30 seconds before Felicity was satisfied and walked back to the truck. Ass-kicking crisis averted.