EPT[Advice] Girl Problem =-( - Page 6
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LastWish
2015 Posts
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Refrain[FriZ]
Canada4337 Posts
On February 12 2005 11:14 Penguin wrote: I think there is an issue you have to resolve before you try to make plans with the girl... Like some ppl have said already...he's your god damn friend right? Well TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT!!! Seriously what are friends for? This will let you know for sure how he feels about her, and what he plans on doing in the future if he does like her... So here's the scenario... 1. You're gonna be a pussy about it...and since he likes her you're gonna not admit that you like her, and back off. 2. Confront him about it, tell him how you truely feel about her, and how long this has been going on for, and see what his reaction is...(you assume too much, if he's a true friend he will understand) so if he decides to back off for u, well then its good for you i guess. But on the otherhand if he doesn't, well then you have a problem, and your friendship will most likely give away to a few cracks. You should have told your friends about this, so this kinda shit doesn't happen, if he knew that you liked her, and if he was a true friend, then he wouldnt go on hitting on her. Note: In Korea we kinda have this rule where, you kinda tell your mates that you like a girl and kinda "stamp" her as yours...and in most cases every1 will back off cuz you've stated first that you like her. (this is a good rule, so shit like this coulda been prevented.) Who should I go to first? If I go to my friend first, there will be the obvious problems, I mean, you can imagine. 'hey which one of us liked her first, hey you back off, no YOU back off!' She will be left in the dark while we work out it out amongst ourselves. If I go to her first, asking her out, etc. that way I will know how she feels and if she has no interest, then I won't have told my friend about my feelings and he won't have known or gotten hurt. If she does, then, well... | ||
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Rayzorblade
United States1172 Posts
Then go and swoon her. Actually, now that I look at the situation, this is lose-lose. You're both going to end up looking like assholes that paraphrase the Dogfather of Rap's well-loved song and age-old maxim: "It ain't no funny if the homies can't haaave none." I say punch him in the nose, call him a faggot for stealing your girl, and go ask her out. | ||
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HeavenS
Colombia2259 Posts
i agree with brood and maleorde | ||
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decafchicken
United States20173 Posts
 If she says no, then she obviously like the other guy and you wont have to tell him to back off, if she says yes then just play innocent and pretend you didnt know he liked her as well. | ||
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Refrain[FriZ]
Canada4337 Posts
On February 12 2005 12:08 decafchicken wrote: Ask her out before he does, i've gotten screwed over that way many times If she says no, then she obviously like the other guy and you wont have to tell him to back off, if she says yes then just play innocent and pretend you didnt know he liked her as well.yeah see this is what I was thinking about. thanks for confirming that i'm not crazy. one thing though; if she says yes, shouldn't i alert the friend to this now? | ||
Hot_Bid
Braavos36402 Posts
many people don't consider dating a big deal, they're fun but they don't mean exclusivity | ||
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evanthebouncy
China491 Posts
 k, it is my understanding that you have some problems to solve: 1. does she likes you? 2. what is your friend's opinion toward her? 3. how much longer can you wait? 1. you are at good hands, you are not friends, that's good, because if a guy be a friend w/ a girl competely, the veil of mistery is lifted up, and so is the charms, she will treats you just like a friend but not a lover. remember, dont become CLOSE friends, for that will let her see you fully, and love is blind... does she likes you? well, work on the nonverbal communications, does she caught your eyes? where does she look when ur talking? is her shoulder point toward you? if yes, she might have interests. 2. Go ask him you pussy! tell him all you want to confess, he'll understand, dont worry. 3. No, you must not wait, the longer the worse, like other's pointed out. if ur shy, you should probably write love peoms if you canot say "the word". dont use love, it is fragile AND heavy AND easily brocken. get some chemistry going, wink, smile, catch her eyes always seem to work. hope that helped.  | ||
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LastWish
2015 Posts
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evanthebouncy
China491 Posts
On February 12 2005 12:21 Hot_Bid wrote: uh, just because she says yes to a date with you doesn't mean she doesn't like the other guy... many people don't consider dating a big deal, they're fun but they don't mean exclusivity yes, date is a tool, not all that important. your totoally right  | ||
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Hautamaki
Canada1311 Posts
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Refrain[FriZ]
Canada4337 Posts
On February 12 2005 12:41 evanthebouncy wrote: Dont worry man, ur only 16 k, it is my understanding that you have some problems to solve: 1. does she likes you? 2. what is your friend's opinion toward her? 3. how much longer can you wait? 1. you are at good hands, you are not friends, that's good, because if a guy be a friend w/ a girl competely, the veil of mistery is lifted up, and so is the charms, she will treats you just like a friend but not a lover. remember, dont become CLOSE friends, for that will let her see you fully, and love is blind... does she likes you? well, work on the nonverbal communications, does she caught your eyes? where does she look when ur talking? is her shoulder point toward you? if yes, she might have interests. 2. Go ask him you pussy! tell him all you want to confess, he'll understand, dont worry. 3. No, you must not wait, the longer the worse, like other's pointed out. if ur shy, you should probably write love peoms if you canot say "the word". dont use love, it is fragile AND heavy AND easily brocken. get some chemistry going, wink, smile, catch her eyes always seem to work. hope that helped. Do you agree that I should ask her out and know if she has any interest in me first? Then, if she does, I should confront my friend about my feelings. If she doesn't, then I should just cut my losses and say nothing to my friend. | ||
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evanthebouncy
China491 Posts
On February 12 2005 13:11 Refrain[FriZ] wrote: Do you agree that I should ask her out and know if she has any interest in me first? Then, if she does, I should confront my friend about my feelings. If she doesn't, then I should just cut my losses and say nothing to my friend. k listen now... if you ask too many advice and cannot decide which one to use and do not have courage, your better off playing BW and forget about it. Just write a love poem to her and c if she likes it. ask yourself this:"if i truely love someone, does it matter what respond i will get when i say 'i love you'"? the important thin is let her know you "the word" her and not been a prat. And you dont have to ask her out, just get that "misterious bond" between you two and know you love each other, wait abit, dont be rash, then move in.BUT THATS ALL BULLCRAP IF YOU DO NOTHING SOON, GET HER BEFORE 2/14, TAKE ACTION!!!!!! lets cheer him on! GO REF GOGO GO REF GOGO GO REF GOGO. | ||
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Chokoboho
United States18 Posts
Assuming that your friend is close, I would speak to him first about it. If he's not an ass and he isn't as crazy about her as you are he'll probably back off. If you ask her out first and your friend was looking for more than booty from her, it'll look like you deliberately went behind his back to try to take her from him. Just ask her out, coffee, dinner, whatever. She'll understand what you're really asking her. Don't turn it into some big theatrical thing where you profess your undying love for her. It's a lot of pressure and it's just plain freaky. Don't tell her that you've been thinking about her for months and months either at this point...maybe later on (if there is a later on) when she knows you're not a total psycho. Otherwise it might sound like you've been watching her, stalker style. You don't have to write a script to ask her out. It's ok if you're not smooth. Maybe it's just me but there's something charming about a nervous guy. It shows how much you like her. Oh, on the topic of girls always showing it when she likes someone. I'd have to say it's not true. Some girls are experts at hiding it, even to the point of completely ignoring the person of interest. Perhaps it's the fear of rejection. And guys are notoriously bad at taking hints so even if girls are sending what they think are take-me-now hints, most guys are pretty dense and don't pick up on it. Anyhooters, good luck and happy hunting | ||
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Chokoboho
United States18 Posts
Never ever ever ever ever ever ever write a love poem for a girl you like unless you know for a fact that she'll like it. If she's not a love poem sort of girl and she receives one from a guy she's not dating it'll either freak her out, make her think you're a complete idiot or a pretty sad sob. None of which are very sexy. | ||
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Refrain[FriZ]
Canada4337 Posts
On February 12 2005 13:58 Chokoboho wrote: I don't know how much of this advice is coming from girls but here's some... Assuming that your friend is close, I would speak to him first about it. If he's not an ass and he isn't as crazy about her as you are he'll probably back off. If you ask her out first and your friend was looking for more than booty from her, it'll look like you deliberately went behind his back to try to take her from him. Just ask her out, coffee, dinner, whatever. She'll understand what you're really asking her. Don't turn it into some big theatrical thing where you profess your undying love for her. It's a lot of pressure and it's just plain freaky. Don't tell her that you've been thinking about her for months and months either at this point...maybe later on (if there is a later on) when she knows you're not a total psycho. Otherwise it might sound like you've been watching her, stalker style. You don't have to write a script to ask her out. It's ok if you're not smooth. Maybe it's just me but there's something charming about a nervous guy. It shows how much you like her. Oh, on the topic of girls always showing it when she likes someone. I'd have to say it's not true. Some girls are experts at hiding it, even to the point of completely ignoring the person of interest. Perhaps it's the fear of rejection. And guys are notoriously bad at taking hints so even if girls are sending what they think are take-me-now hints, most guys are pretty dense and don't pick up on it. Anyhooters, good luck and happy hunting Chokoboho, it is great having a girl's perspective on this and I'm honoured that you're giving me your first post on Tl.net. Welcome! Your post was very helpful and informative, but I have a question. You said that you would want me to talk to my friend about my feelings for her; but what if I go through the whole process of telling him and pour out my heart to him, then proceed to ask her out, and then she rejects me? Wouldn't it be better if I asked her first to see if there she had any interest in me first? I don't know much about my friend only wanting "booty", but... yeah... | ||
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Chokoboho
United States18 Posts
If you ask her out first you risk starting some sort of competition/feud thing with your friend if he really likes her. I'm sure it would get around that you asked her out and he'd find out. Might as well tell him first and know where he stands with her. If she's going to reject you, it'll happen whether you tell him first or not. In that case, suck it up. If you want to date you have to get used to rejection. It happens a lot. | ||
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Refrain[FriZ]
Canada4337 Posts
On February 12 2005 14:31 Chokoboho wrote: Thanks. Figured I'd actually have something useful to say here. If you ask her out first you risk starting some sort of competition/feud thing with your friend if he really likes her. I'm sure it would get around that you asked her out and he'd find out. Might as well tell him first and know where he stands with her. You bring out a good point. However, if she rejects me... On February 12 2005 14:31 Chokoboho wrote: If she's going to reject you, it'll happen whether you tell him first or not. In that case, suck it up. If you want to date you have to get used to rejection. It happens a lot. That is also true. I agree that to date you have to be able to handle rejection. Yes it would happen whether or not I told him first, but wouldn't it be better if I hadn't told him? If she rejects me and I haven't talked to my friend, nobody would have known (including my friend), so isn't everything all good in this scenario? (Except for poor old me, but you know, I can handle that) | ||
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Keanu_Reaver
Djibouti1432 Posts
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dork_of_death!!
United States374 Posts
On February 12 2005 14:49 Keanu_Reaver wrote: bro's before ho's word... #1 thing to remember there comes a point in time when you realize most women are evil not because they want your money, or because they want all of your attention but because they want your SOUL "Tell me you'll love me forever" That shit is fucked up. | ||
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