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[QUOTE]On February 12 2005 11:14 Penguin wrote:
[QUOTE]On February 12 2005 08:19 Refrain[FriZ] wrote:
[QUOTE]On February 12 2005 08:13 Az)Natic_cn wrote:
Note: In Korea we kinda have this rule where, you kinda tell your mates that you like a girl and kinda "stamp" her as yours...and in most cases every1 will back off cuz you've stated first that you like her. (this is a good rule, so shit like this coulda been prevented.)
[/QUOTE]
Not only in korea... it is like a worldwide rule of respect between friends... but the word ''stamp'' isnt used everywhere thu^^
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get with her best friend , see her reaction , all future actions towards this girl should be based on reactions and vibes felt from getting with her best friend
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On February 12 2005 16:08 Pob wrote:
get with her best friend , see her reaction , all future actions towards this girl should be based on reactions and vibes felt from getting with her best friend
this seems like an interesting strategy, but i don't think i could do that. faking interest/leading a girl on isn't really my thing.
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Braavos36402 Posts
you know, that's not necessarily the case.. if the "getting with" is fun for her too and she's okay with that... then its not "leading her on"
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Man..just go for it...its not like either of you are gonna give 2 shits in a year or so...high school is only the beginning of a whole new world of sex xD
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If you want to be less nervous around her, you have to honestly believe that it is okay if things do not work out between you and her. This way you will feel a lot less pressure, and will not be nervous about finding the right moment and saying the perfect words. Believe me, I have had very strong feelings about girls and also been nervous about trying to hook up with them. So, realize that actually asking her out is a win-win situation for you, if she says "no," you can get over her and if she says, "yes," well, that's just great. Because if she has no interest in you yet, it is not likely that something magical will happen and she will suddenly gain interest.
Okay, so that's my prescription for being shy and talking to girls.
About your friend, hopefully some of your other friends know that you are interested in that girl and so if he thinks you are just trying to steal her, you can say that you've liked her for awhile and say that even these other guys knew about it. So, it's nothing personal with him, just that you really like her.
Friends generally do not handle competing for girls really well, but if you have honestly had feelings for the girl for awhile it is natural for you to want to ask her out and your friend should be able to appreciate and understand that.
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TruthBringing / Pyrrhus, that's a great post. It helps a lot.
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Ok, ill try to take a stab at this as well.
As obviously some people have mentioned, "Bro's before Hoe's"
This is very true, at your age friends are far more important than a Girlfriend is.
Now, first ill start with Do you actually like her? There are people(myself to a large extent) who are interested in chicks for the chase, and then quickly lose interest. If you fit into this group then id reconsider asking her out until you have made sure you truely care for her. Now, if you do like her, first off, ask your friend his feelings for her. If he does like her, id recommend resolving it between yourselves, or seperately ask her out, if one of you gets a yes, the other doesnt confront her. If he doesnt actually like her, then go for it yourself, just be prepared for the possibility of a no.
When it comes to being nervous, try to catch her on her own if you can, it makes things a bit easier without observers. Also, just try to ask simply so its easier on yourself. If you try to say to much you could potentially botch up asking her out. With all that said and done, if she says yes, congrats, but if she says no, dont let it beat you up and dont hate her for it.
I hope that helps.
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This is a shit situation you 're in.. but trust me: it's gonna get 100x worse if you end up watching your friend and her together (yeah, unforunately i've been there =( ). You have to make a talk with your friend first. Tell him you' ve been feeling much about the girl for some time now but have been hesitating to talk to her and you would really appreciate it if he stopped his going for her before it gets any more serious. Or if you don't really care whether or not he will be pissed (I bet this girl matters more to you than him) just focus on the girl. Tell her you need to talk to her, it doesn't have to be on a date, just during a break in school let's say. Go for something like: "you know, hanging out with you lately has made me realise I have feelings for you". don't leave her on the blind any more, you'll get nothing this way.
seriously, waiting and observing may seem the easiest and safest thing to do but from where you are things can only get worse with this attitude. It sure is hard I know, but if you don't do this now, you'll have to do this later on another situation perhaps. You just have to get past the first time...
and don't worry about how your friend will look at it. From my experience, there are some times in your life that you have to put yourself over everyone else. And this is one of them.
You have to be honest with yourself. I bet that now having read all these suggestions from everyone you, like, have everything in your head and are totally confused but also relieved in some way because you now have a plan... I bet everyone's answers have something to do with their personal experiences, but you just know better yourself and your situation than everyone else and you have to search inside you and find the real answer and the most proper way to do it. with your own words. coming from your own self and emotions.
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On February 12 2005 14:42 Refrain[FriZ] wrote:
If she rejects me and I haven't talked to my friend, nobody would have known (including my friend), so isn't everything all good in this scenario? (Except for poor old me, but you know, I can handle that)
If you're sure that she won't tell anyone you asked her out then go for it and save yourself some embarrassment in case she says no. I highly doubt she'd keep it to herself though.
Oh, and Bouncy Evan...as big a literati as she may be, poems are only meaningful when they're good and the writer knows what the hell s/he's writing about. Random admirers don't know much beyond a name, a favorite food and how hot she is. Probably not the best material for a moving poem. Writing about the sparkle in her eye and the goosebumps you get around her is lame, cliche and seems like you follow her around watching her. Creepy. I'm sure there're exceptions but I personally don't like guys more girly-sensitive and stalker-like than I am. If you must, try a letter. It's more genuine and saves some brainpower.
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I hate to be so cruel but most of your friends/girl friends will change overtime. So now all u need is experience do all for it, at university or anywhere u'll find new friends anyway...
Now it's the time...
You must act...
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Sounds like some truly meaningless bullshit Highschooler drama to me.
My advice is quit school and work construction until your back gives. Then drink beer.
Lots of beer.
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On February 12 2005 20:33 Chokoboho wrote:If you're sure that she won't tell anyone you asked her out then go for it and save yourself some embarrassment in case she says no. I highly doubt she'd keep it to herself though.
i'm not sure. maybe. i don't know. she might tell her friends. and her friends won't keep it a secret. gah. it might / probably / evntually get around to my friend.
Chokoboho,
Even if she says no, do you think that she would tell her friends? Like: "oh yeah btw [REFRAIN] just asked me out today, but I said no. Ha! his friend is much more desirable!"? A girl's point of view is rare and valuable on these forums.
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I sort of have one last question before I go to bed. (I'll check for any new responses tomorrow)
Should I mention the semi [which is basically yeah, i know my friend hit on you, but... and i didn't make a move, but... and you danced with him but...] when I ask talk to her/ask her out?
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On February 12 2005 20:53 Refrain[FriZ] wrote:Show nested quote +On February 12 2005 20:33 Chokoboho wrote:If you're sure that she won't tell anyone you asked her out then go for it and save yourself some embarrassment in case she says no. I highly doubt she'd keep it to herself though. i'm not sure. maybe. i don't know. she might tell her friends. and her friends won't keep it a secret. gah. it might / probably / evntually get around to my friend. Chokoboho, Even if she says no, do you think that she would tell her friends? Like: "oh yeah btw [REFRAIN] just asked me out today, but I said no. Ha! his friend is much more desirable!"? A girl's point of view is rare and valuable on these forums.
most likely she'll tell
expect that she'll tell
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
[QUOTE]On February 12 2005 11:14 Penguin wrote:
[QUOTE]On February 12 2005 08:19 Refrain[FriZ] wrote:
[QUOTE]On February 12 2005 08:13 Az)Natic_cn wrote:
Note: In Korea we kinda have this rule where, you kinda tell your mates that you like a girl and kinda "stamp" her as yours...and in most cases every1 will back off cuz you've stated first that you like her. (this is a good rule, so shit like this coulda been prevented.)
[/QUOTE]
oops lol
that pooooooor fucker
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On February 12 2005 20:53 Refrain[FriZ] wrote:
Even if she says no, do you think that she would tell her friends? Like: "oh yeah btw [REFRAIN] just asked me out today, but I said no. Ha! his friend is much more desirable!"? A girl's point of view is rare and valuable on these forums.
Sorry to say but all girls have big fat flapping mouths and unless she gets hit on everyday by every Joe Schmoe and Dick and forgets that Refrain hit on her, she'll tell. They'll all squeal and giggle and discuss it and pick you apart for hours...unless they're guys. If it's a no, go find anyone who'll have you and release your anguish and pent up hormones with her...or go home and do it in the shower. However it turns out, drama is fun. The painful kind even more so. Again...you're young, there are tons of girls out there and she'd probably complain about all the time you spend in front of the computer anyway.
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Desirable? How about cute, hot, nasty or fugly?
The longest word I ever used for a guy is asshole.
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On February 12 2005 21:25 Chokoboho wrote:
Desirable? How about cute, hot, nasty or fugly?
The longest word I ever used for a guy is asshole.
haha that's funny. Is that really how girls describe boys? i am beginning to like you =]
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EPT
and what makes you think love poem wont work, i think all girls are literatis at some point... 
