The Letting Off Steam Thread - Page 166

I work full time (40 hours a week) at the IT Department of my university. I have 4 Computer Science classes this semester, and I fully take care of myself as a 23 year old. My parents live in the other side of the world, and I pay for everything, my school, my food, my rent, my bills. That I don't mind because it has made me more independent, but what pisses me off is my landlord. I live in a house with a married couple and the guy is really a douchebag. He literally just called me this morning to tell me I have until NOVEMBER 13TH to get my stuff and move out because HE is short-selling his house and losing it to the bank, because the motherfucker can't afford to pay for his mortgage EVEN THOUGH he told me he is making 100k a year. Take into account that he has raised my rent price by $125 about 3 months ago because I wanted to stay an extra 2-3 months after our contract was over, BECAUSE I HAD NOWHERE ELSE TO GO BEFORE I GRADUATED THIS DECEMBER. All I needed was a place to stay until December, and then I would have alot more free time and hopefully a stable job as a developer. But nooo, now somehow in my already sleepless schedule working 40 hours a week and taking 4 computer science courses, I have to find the time to get a new place. Fuck this fucking shit.

Jaclyn. It's spelled Jacqueline you inbred WASPy fucks.

The one thing I look forward to each day is how my blog posts are received. That's....my entire day. I've been very down on myself lately and I've just been losing. So many turds are out there. I feel kind of bad because I always binge on the weekends like it's still summer vacation. God, summer vacation.

I'd stay awake and go on the computer right away, miserable every second. I'd have over 14 hours of computer exposure a day and it took its toll. My tolerance for staring at a computer screen started getting lower and lower. Headaches turned into migraines, yet I could not resist doing my menial tasks of reloading teamliquid every 15 seconds to see if there was a new post on a thread in the Brood War section or...or seeing what sc2 streamers were there. I'm a girl. I think It's come to the point that it's caused irreparable damage to my attention span and IQ. I imagine I'll never be able to play StarCraft to the same level I once was at and never again will I be able to fully recover from the damage I've done to myself mentally.

Sometimes I want someone to hug me and then....then that will be the end. I'm gaining weight....who knew school would be so tough. I've been on this terrible diet by my uhhhh....needle specialist's orders in order to find what foods I'm most sensitive to. The problem is I'm not able to eat over half the things I used to so....idk man. I saw this one guy. Meh......People grow apart. 'tis a fact.

To stave off my loneliness I've been watching a lot of Afreeca streams ever since they made them flash compatible so you don't need any complicated korean launcher or whatever. I usually watch the eatings cams, soothingly I feel at ease. Sometimes I watch the ones where they just talk and show man cleavage.

I was always the one to hurt. I remember when I'd play any physical sport I'd just wait. Hm......soccer seems like a contact sport. ehhhh.....meh. idk man, time management is not my thing. You know I was in the twitch chat and I just....idk man. Somemone just said I had the humor of a 12 year old trollish kid and you know what, he was probably right. No one was impolite enough to say it to my face, but that guy, he done it. He done it. Sometimes I want to be a cat so someone can rub my belly and lick my ears. I can't eat anything with yeast. Damn, why is my metabolism so bad? Isn't it always the case that when you're young you stay thin but when you get old and still have the same diet you had when you were young you get fat?

Earlier I watched this sad movie called Max and Mary. It's this claymation thing with the thing and it has a lot of themes that resonate with me like depression(no way), morbid obesity, syndromes of the a, loneliness, suicide, and.........stuff. It was good stuff I guess. Really it was. I'mma eat my feelings now. Uhuhuhuhuhu.

It's true....I really am not....there. I wonder how that would happen, to have some physical competition. Woooh, kick kick kick. Doesn't it get awkward when you side kick a guy in the jaw and they end up having to go the hospital? Something very similar like that happened to me one time and since then I've always never done any of dem sports.

I was thinking about the Zia incident that happened in 2006 who was a mere figment of someone's imagination who used this Zia to manipulate others and create close relationships only to betray them. It was a 2 year long charade until the mods did some detective work. I could do that. Maybe I already am. Am I a girl? Maybe I'm gender neutral.

One time I had a rat, and I treated it so poorly. It still loved me though. Everyday when I think about that rat there's an innate sadness that surfaces. What a nice rat. It's sad to say he was probably my only real life friend. No tears. Only cuddles. Ah, yes, my rat and I cuddled sometimes. I neglected it so much but.....idk. I used to own a lot of pets but they ended up dying out....most of them due to neglect. Now I'm depressed. I probably have caused many deaths without realizing it. Maybe I've killed....millions of ants, ya know? I remember this one time I was sitting out on the school stairway outside of one of the smaller entrances and a teacher walked up to me. I stopped killing off the little red bugs that smudged on the concrete railing lest she find out about my sociopathic tendencies. Sometimes when people go "If I see a bug that's entered mah home it's fair game to kill." What if everyone was a bug. Oh sadness. I remember......there was a spider. I tried to trap it under this bowl, which I did successfully but when I tried to move the bowl along with the spider it just ended in.....many legs detached from the spider and dragged alongside the bowl. I had ripped off the poor spider's legs. I did eventually fling it outside before running away. My family is sooooo incompetent. Hm....eh. I'm probably the biggest hypocrite. I was once religious, did I ever tell you that? hmm lost some people. Eventually I lost the spirit. It took me a long time until I was educated that Catholics are merely a branch within Christianity, and just...everything.

ooooh holyyyyy. All the peeps at that religious camp were hypocrites in some ways. Feels meh. I'mma be Padre Pio, the priest who bears the wounds of Christ. Sigh, maybe the life of a monk is what I need to rehabilitate myself. I'm going to swallow this.

There was this one person eh. idk man was just sad, sooo sad. I'm still sad about it.Yah, I just need to sit down, do my homework but I can never will myself to. I've lost all life aim right now. Most people who are lost end up going into a profession that helps others which.......idk man. One day I'll be a monk eating only one meal a day, having intense prayer sessions from the afternoon to night, and swearing myself to a life of silence. I feel lost without the religion but you know idk man never thought so seriously. It's getting late here. hmmm i was meaning to message this one guy but I don't even know if I wanna message him anymore. I bet he got friends. so you know that means....no need for more. Peeps grow apart, especially after high school. One day I will be....ultimate zerg. sigh. I really don't have a growth mindset, I only care for the winning. I'mma eat you. i'mma eats you.

You as in....me of course. I'mma eat you. Eat you soooo good. I'm gonna be shooting to the stars. I'm gonna shoulder the burden of men and their oppression they face against the women hierarchy. Women just feminists? Masinists or whatever the word is for man's rights activists now AM I RIGHT?! sigh. I got duped so hard. I'm gonna start winning again soon one day, just you watch out you clumsy brits. I say I'm gonna resurrect myself to my former glory but....no.

I just stay to the Brood War because it was the only thing I last enjoyed. Now I don't know where to go. sigh. Please new FS. I give up on making paragraphs and life. Apparently you can start a sentence with the words because and and. Because school. And politics.

Hmmm i kind of feel proud of how much I can write, it'd be good for a diary but I do want people to read what I write. That's the attention whore inside of me. Sexy. It's the only thing I feel proud about. You know, a feminist made a good point saying that the mass shootings are always connected to boys and men. I mean...I don't have the linguistics to argue against that. Or the bistic logistics.

ISIS, and the governments of Iran, Saudi Arabia, Qatar, and all the radical groups they support. They fuck up everything and I really wish they would stop. That is all.

Also the Oakland Raiders are a real pain to bear and arguably have the worst fans in US sports. I'd tolerate them more (as would the rest of the country) if their fans were a bit more mature.

holy fucking shit people in the balance discusion are retarded http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/starcraft-2/255254-designated-balance-discussion-thread?page=1177#23536

even though i am 17 years old, still in high school and life is going pretty well, i still have some things to bitch about.

1. i am to afraid to ask out a cute girl from work because i am incapable of maintaining a decent conversation with her let alone ask her out, because everytime I talk to her my confidence drops to 0, i'm nervous as fuck and my brain just decides to abandon me on the spot causing me to acknowledge everything she says without carrying on in the conversation.

2. i have these blue/purple ish "marks" underneath my eyes due to a lack of sleep and they make me look like a drug addicted retard but even though i'm trying to sleep a bit more early then i normally did (i get about 8 hours of sleep on normal weekdays now) these fucking marks are still underneath my eyes even though i slept over 8 hours of almost every day for 2 months now. that shit also knocks down my confidence whenever i talk to that girl from work because i constantly wonder what she thinks of me.

3. people who constantly share shit they like on facebook, I don't care that you like that 1 sports moment or that "incredible save from that goalkeeper" just stop spamming my fucking facebook feed with shit that you like, i don't give a fuck about everything you like it's annoying as fuck.

4. youtube's constant inability to show me videos that have been uploaded by channels i have subbed to.
this one is self explanatory.

well time to carry on with my life. and hopefully all this shit i have mentioned will be resolved.