So my friend bet me a steak that he could get any girl at any bar using any pick up line. He was so sure of himself that he says 'When we go out this weekend, you can pick the girl AND the pick up line I use"
I cannot waste this opportunity to watch him get his ass kicked by some really angry boyfriend. I already know I will pick the girl with the biggest boyfriend there... But I am just not creative enough to come up with a truely devastating one-liner.
I ask you all for help, I need the worst pick up line.. Something so vulgar he will almost get his arm broken. (Not literally, but just something that is sure to repulse the girl and get a drink thrown at him)
Please reply with the worst ones you can think of, but try to use civil language for the TL forum, I can pick up on whatever works may be blanked out.
Hi I'm a nerd that loves to play a game called Starcraft, it's the best Real Time Strategy game ever created and I'm a big fan, would you like to play with me sometime?
Funny because just last week i had my friend tell me that she was at a gas station and was hit on in the worst way ever. The guy just walked over and said "You have a body that makes me wanna fuck for hours." ... i told my friend that he was probly dared to do it but it was still terrible for her. Im sure some people are going to have better lines than this to use but i just wanted to share that since that just happened last week and i saw this thread.
"If you had an angel on your shoulder, would it be on this shoulder *Touches closest shoulder* or THIS shoulder *puts arm around girl and leaves it there*
"I made a bet with my friend that I could pick up any girl with any pick up line successfully. He told me to say exactly this. See? I have it written right here. So, who wins the bet?"
Not really a pic up line but worth a try. You gotta have swag for that tho.
Hey shawty. lemme holla at you right quick ya know what im sayin. checkin you out over there you lookin kinda good, ya know what im sayin. so i was wondering ya know how about you and me go back to the place, get comfortable, probably sip on some of this henney, you know what im sayin, and after that, you know what im... sayin, we can do the grownup and you can let me clap on dem cheeks, ya hear me?
Unless someone can top that rake comment, or the sister one, I am probably going with one of those! God I can almost taste the steak! Keep them coming!
On January 23 2010 05:17 Empire wrote: Setup: Girl sitting next to you
Sit next to her and move up close, ask her
"If you had an angel on your shoulder, would it be on this shoulder *Touches closest shoulder* or THIS shoulder *puts arm around girl and leaves it there*
...yeah..its over used
"If you had an angel on your shoulder, would it be on this shoulder *Touches closest shoulder* or you crotch *puts on girl's crotch and leaves it there*
On January 23 2010 05:17 Empire wrote: Setup: Girl sitting next to you
Sit next to her and move up close, ask her
"If you had an angel on your shoulder, would it be on this shoulder *Touches closest shoulder* or THIS shoulder *puts arm around girl and leaves it there*
...yeah..its over used
"If you had an angel on your shoulder, would it be on this shoulder *Touches closest shoulder* or you crotch *puts on girl's crotch and leaves it there*
ya thats a great way to get in trouble for sexual harassment
Lois Griffin: The Quahog Oil Refinery is emptying all their toxic waste into the lake. I mean, you couldn't have possibly have sanctioned that kind of blatant industrial pollution, could you? Mayor Adam West: Yeah, I told them it was fine. Lois Griffin: What?! Mayor Adam West: And in return, I get free oil for my hair. [cut to Mayor West standing next to a woman on the street. His hair is slick and shiny] Mayor Adam West: Hey, baby. Want some Adam West penis?
On January 23 2010 05:30 micronesia wrote: "I made a bet with my friend that I could pick up any girl with any pick up line successfully. He told me to say exactly this. See? I have it written right here. So, who wins the bet?"
Hey shawty. lemme holla at you right quick ya know what im sayin. checkin you out over there you lookin kinda good, ya know what im sayin. so i was wondering ya know how about you and me go back to the place, you know what im saying, get comfortable, probably sip on some of this henney, you know what im sayin, and after that, you know what im... sayin, we can do the grownup and you can let me clap on dem cheeks, ya hear me?
Fixed. You forgot a "you know what I'm sayin?"
I +1 for the rake. Preferably pick a girl who looks somewhat shy, so they don't brush it off as just another idiot.
On January 23 2010 04:49 Whiplash wrote: Hi I'm a nerd that loves to play a game called Starcraft, it's the best Real Time Strategy game ever created and I'm a big fan, would you like to play with me sometime?
This. Seriously.
The rake one could be considered funny by some girls, so meh.
Since it has to be a line, I'd suggest a really, really long sentence, so even if he tries to recover with being dared to say it, she'll be too bored to care.
"I'm a pedo and I'd like to do you imagining you are a little helpless girl. May I?"
This will win the bet for you, and your friend will be slapped by the chick, punched by the bf, beat by the crowd in the bar and arrested by the police.
This will win the bet for you, and your friend will be slapped by the chick, punched by the bf, beat by the crowd in the bar and arrested by the police.
This made me lol, because this would do everything besides actually get him a free steak.
My sister was the recipient of the following terrible pick up lines that I will add to the pile. Ugly guy walked up to her in a bar and said, "Hey, baby, you're sexier than two rats fucking in a sock!"
When she was 13, on a double date with one of her friends with some older guys, the guys were sitting in the front of the car debating which one they wanted to nail. One of the guys ogled her and said, "You know, you have some really nice child-bearing hips."
About a third of these, the guy actually has potential to get the girl's number, but he backs off too soon. I know this was probably made to be made fun of and to purposely be rejected, but some of those girls actually showed interest, and he could have gotten some numbers if he acted upon it when it happened.
Lol a few easy ones here i'd go with ::holds fist up::, "do you think it'll fit?". I cant imagine to many girls being turned on by fisting. Then you can just go with an all out crazy one like, "How much would I have to pay you to fuck you on webcam missionary while wearing the scream mask in a bed of beanie babies"
show her your middle and index finger and say: "why should you use these two fingers to masturbate? - cuz they're mine"
"remember my name- you're gonna scream it all night long"
Btw we used the "have you met Ted" line last weekend and it worked like a charm, especially since the girl knew himym, which obviously was an instant plus.
Don't go violent sexual or plain violent. Almost everyone will tell that's a joke and go along with it. Do something weird and stupid like asking her what blood type she is and then going niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice or something.
but to continue the trend:
"My love for you is like Diarrhea, I can't hold it in."
Your body is like Visa, its everywhere I want to be. Your name must be Mickey, cause your so fine. You be the Dairy Queen and I'll be your Burger King: You treat me right, and I'll do it your way You must be a magnet, because it looks like you are attracted to my buns of steel. Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock! Do you want to see something swell? I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade. Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy. You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear. If you were a booger I'd pick you first. Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package. Can I stir your drink? Mind if I use my dick? Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position. Excuse me, but do you have tickets? (Tickets for what?) (Points to arm and flex) To the gun show! If you were my sister/brother, incest would be cool. I'll give you a nickel to tickle my pickle.
Interested in making some magic together? My wand is at the ready. I've been whomping my willow thinking about you. I'd like to get my basilisk into your chamber of secrets.
Or WoW:
I've heard that you are an Epic mount. Can I raid your molten core? Baby, being with me is like a Paladin casting Divine Shield. It'll last about 10 seconds and you won't feel a thing.
Omg what was that one song back in the early 2000's
"I know my calculus, its that you + me = love" or something bullshit like that.
This dude was getting all serious about how this had to be translated (it's a song title) "사랑을 삼키다" or if u cant see it Sa Rang Eul Sam Ki Dah which can be translated as "Swallow my Love"
(Implying it's the dude) So you just say to her " You want to Sa Rang Eul Sam Ki Dah?" If she asks you what it means say "You want to swallow my love"
On January 23 2010 11:15 Jlab wrote: Have you even been to Paris? + Show Spoiler +
In reference to the Sex position, the Eiffel Tower. You can google it i won't post it here
Would anyone even remotely get this?
It would seem like you are just randomly asking her that question.
You would probably have to follow up like: "Have you ever been to Paris?" "No, why?" "Because I think we should make an Eiffel Tower" Or something like that.
Get him to walk up to her and say "I know what you're asking yourself and the answer is yes. I have a nick name for my penis. Its called the Octagon, but I also nick named my testes - my left one is James Westfall and my right one is Doctor Kenneth Noisewater. You play your cards right you just might get to meet the whole gang"
On January 23 2010 14:46 [NyC]HoBbes wrote: If I were an enzyme, I'd be DNA helicase, so I could unzip your genes
hahaa
"Damn I lost my phone number, can I have yours instead?" a friend of a friend actually recently got hit on by this ridiculous (especially since everyone knows it, at least in germany) line
something direct and to the point like "Can I lick your boobs?" preferably spoken while leering at her boobies. If she says no, then proceed to stage 2 involving begging and groveling. Your friend is guaranteed to be slapped and get beaten on.
But even if he could pick his own line or whatever, whats the likelihood that he could get on with a girl you pick... Or any girl for that matter, if shes the first girl he talks to.
i used to think these pickup lines were all jokes but from what i've read on this thread it actually seems like people go up to girls and use them
it would seem to me like it would be extremely weird to go up to a random person and use one of them, like what do you expect the person to answer?
Yah, some people do, with the right people and more importantly a good amount of playfulness and confidence you can get a corny line like this to open a conversation. However, more often I'd say you see things that are less corny like asking for an opinion or using something situational.
In all seriousness one of the best ways to ensure the guy fails is to have some start off with something that is very supplicative, make him seem like he is doing everything he can to desperately try and please her. Offering to buy a drink is a good start, as well as having him throw in a few compliments about how pretty she is.
Some of the really offensive lines might work, especially if her boyfriend is right there....but if he is pretty competent with women there is a decent chance he can use the cornieness of the pick-up line to get her laughing and into a conversation with him.
A lot of these pick up lines work. Pick up lines, especially the cheesy ones, with a smile, work very well. The most successful is "so, do you come here often?" which never failed me. But even extreme ones with the right attitude can break the ice at the very least.
I won a bet like this (I chose the girl) - I had to use "you, me, handcuffs and a video camera, whaddya say?", to which she retorted "you'd wish, asshole", and I just followed up with "I don't know what you're thinking, but I am saintly in intention. Despite your lewd thought process - I just couldn't help but noticing that pretty face wasn't smiling". Long story short, we ended up together for eight months.
If you want him to fail miserably, just go to a lesbian bar, and make him hit on the butchest girl there with a hot girlfriend with the line "you know, all gay women are straight but just haven't met me yet".
Hi I'm a nerd that loves to play a game called Starcraft, it's the best Real Time Strategy game ever created and I'm a big fan, would you like to play with me sometime?
In maxim online dating thingie this month is said girls ads that were replied to with stuff like "you're sexy/beautiful, hot" were replied to the least.
Its a DLV to yourself when you put the pussy on a pedistel.
In maxim online dating thingie this month is said girls ads that were replied to with stuff like "you're sexy/beautiful, hot" were replied to the least.
Its a DLV to yourself when you put the pussy on a pedistel.
This.
It makes it seem like your desperate and will do anything to win her, which converys neediness, which is an obvious DLV. Being needy implies that your can't get women and therefore aren't a person of value.
On January 23 2010 10:36 Loanshark wrote: Wanna have a threesome with me and my friend over there?
Seriously, none of you picked up on the implications of this pick up line? Think about what the original poster's situation. This is win-win. The rake pick-up line has nothing on this.
On January 24 2010 18:44 EmeraldSparks wrote: "I bet my friend that I could pick up any girl with any pickup line, and told me to try this one. So how about it?"
On January 24 2010 18:44 EmeraldSparks wrote: "I bet my friend that I could pick up any girl with any pickup line, and told me to try this one. So how about it?"
So many girls I know would go along with him just to fuck you over. Don't try this one. Also update OP!
On January 24 2010 16:58 Fontong wrote: Motion to her with one finger until she comes over, then "If I made you come with one finger, just imagine what I could do with all 5."
so this one is specific for people with 5 fingers?
On January 24 2010 21:04 CaptainPlatypus wrote: "Hey, I bet my buddy a steak that I could fuck any woman in the room. I'm willing to give you a 20% cut. Take it or leave it."
if she is by any chance is a hooker then he's golden.
On January 24 2010 21:04 CaptainPlatypus wrote: "Hey, I bet my buddy a steak that I could fuck any woman in the room. I'm willing to give you a 20% cut. Take it or leave it."
if she is by any chance is a hooker then he's golden.
On January 24 2010 18:44 EmeraldSparks wrote: "I bet my friend that I could pick up any girl with any pickup line, and told me to try this one. So how about it?"
So many girls I know would go along with him just to fuck you over. Don't try this one. Also update OP!
On January 23 2010 10:36 Loanshark wrote: Wanna have a threesome with me and my friend over there?
Seriously, none of you picked up on the implications of this pick up line? Think about what the original poster's situation. This is win-win. The rake pick-up line has nothing on this.
On January 23 2010 10:36 Loanshark wrote: Wanna have a threesome with me and my friend over there?
Seriously, none of you picked up on the implications of this pick up line? Think about what the original poster's situation. This is win-win. The rake pick-up line has nothing on this.
You consider a devil's threesome a win?
more girl that you think are okay for some threesome when both guy are not bad looking .
one im thinking right now : wanna come to my house met silvia , she my computer
The story is, we were getting ready to go by having a few beers at a friends house. We both got pretty drunk and I showed him this thread so he could look at some of the lines that were options. One struck him as something he wanted to try. I can't find it on here but the line was something along the lines of "Have you ever been fisted with a boxing glove?"
Long story short, he changed boxing glove to hockey mitt and brought one with us to the club. Unfortunately, due to his impatience, we never even managed to get into the club since he figured it would be a much better idea to try it on the bounser. He also thought he could take the guy, so we had to pull him away before he ate pavement.
I suppose this weekend now, we will have to try it on actual girls INSIDE the bar. Sorry if this is not the story you were looking for!
Oh, and sorry this is late. We kept drinking with my buddies afterwards. I could hardly move this morning.
On January 25 2010 22:43 Sad[Panda] wrote: Idiot:IGOTSARIDDLEFORU!!! If your left legs thanksgiving and your right legs christmas can I visit between the holidays? Female: -_-;;
Based on a true story, a couple of years ago my drunken friend who plays Lineage 2 actually approached a girl and said: "LEVEL 49 PLAINSWALKER LOOKING FOR GROUP!" "what?" "LEVEL 49 PLAINSWALKER LOOKING FOR GROUP!" "huh?" "nevermind."
There is no way you could be a Protoss or Zerg because your just TERRAN out my heart when im with you/ But when we are apart i have insufficient vespene gas.
On January 25 2010 22:43 Sad[Panda] wrote: Idiot:IGOTSARIDDLEFORU!!! If your left legs thanksgiving and your right legs christmas can I visit between the holidays? Female: -_-;;
"I'm not a violent person, I like ears, especially women ears they're my favorite." " I don't mean I collect ears! I don't have like a bucket of ears hidden away somewhere. No, I'm not some kind of mad ear collector. Not that there's anything wrong with your ears! You have very nice ears! If I was some kind of ear person, yours would be the pride of my collection"
"I'm just saying it... it's great to see your legs together for once. Uh, no, no! What I meant was, normally, I enjoy your legs separately."
"Believe me, I'm not trying to part your legs. No, no, uh... not "part" in the sense of, you know, um... I mean, I don' want to... Amputate one. I'm not one of these amputators."
On January 23 2010 05:11 Liquid`Zephyr wrote: you remind me of my sister and i think thats hot
Or you could go with your mother to suggest an oedipus complex.
I actually read in Jimi Hendrix's biography Room Full of Mirrors by Charles Cross that Jimi's favorite and most successful pick-up line was.. you remind me of my mother.
Bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight? BritneySpears14: Aight. Bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah. BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, Bloodninja. Bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat. BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up. Bloodninja: Me too baby. BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest. Bloodninja: I cast Lvl 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman. BritneySpears14: Hey... Bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl 8 Penis of the Infinite. BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it. Bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty of the Beyondness. BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous. Bloodninja: Don't fuck with me biznitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands. Bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl 2 Druid. BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece. Bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal. Bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him. Bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
----
BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready? eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready. BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee. eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies. BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you. BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique. eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat. BritneySpears14: What the fuck, I told you not to message me again. eminemBNJA: Oh shit BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you fuck up. eminemBNJA: Oh shit eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something
On January 23 2010 05:11 Liquid`Zephyr wrote: you remind me of my sister and i think thats hot
Or you could go with your mother to suggest an oedipus complex.
I actually read in Jimi Hendrix's biography Room Full of Mirrors by Charles Cross that Jimi's favorite and most successful pick-up line was.. you remind me of my mother.
it could work?
If you're Jimi Hendrix, throwing up on the girl would be a viable pickup line.
my god.. im like in tears how funny this shit is + Show Spoiler +
Bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight? BritneySpears14: Aight. Bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah. BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, Bloodninja. Bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat. BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up. Bloodninja: Me too baby. BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest. Bloodninja: I cast Lvl 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman. BritneySpears14: Hey... Bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl 8 Penis of the Infinite. BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it. Bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty of the Beyondness. BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous. Bloodninja: Don't fuck with me biznitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands. Bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl 2 Druid. BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece. Bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal. Bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him. Bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
----
BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready? eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready. BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee. eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies. BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you. BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique. eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat. BritneySpears14: What the fuck, I told you not to message me again. eminemBNJA: Oh shit BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you fuck up. eminemBNJA: Oh shit eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something
That's why I was surprised that nobody else noticed.....
Here's an idea: Have your friend start trying to impress her by talking about how many Koreans he has 5pooled on I-cup. If he can get the girl doing that, you deserve to lose the bet.
There's no chance of it being misinterpreted as sarcasm, just him being a douche.
On February 08 2010 10:00 Kim Jong Tassadar wrote: Here's an idea: Have your friend start trying to impress her by talking about how many Koreans he has 5pooled on I-cup. If he can get the girl doing that, you deserve to lose the bet.
There's no chance of it being misinterpreted as sarcasm, just him being a douche.
Oh, god, I could have actually had that work last night..... I'm not joking either.
Bump, mostly because of the rake comment, but also all the funny-ass pickup lines.
IDK if you already did the contest, but this thread IMO deserves to be seen again.
Now I have to contribute don't I? You know, to add to my good reason?
Okay:
Some creepy ones:
"Ma'am... something's wrong. When I look at you my penis keeps growing. How do I make it stop?" "50 bucks to get in the van." "Have you ever had a 4-inch diameter dildo stuffed into any of your three holes? No? Well good, cause neither have I."
Some you should say to the boyfriend:
"I'm a cross between Robin Hood, Sean Connery, and Harry Houdini. I'll rob you while making your girlfriend's virginity disappear." "She doesn't turn me on. Can I fuck you instead?"
Some you should say to her (after striking a short conversation):
"So... what's your level in World of Warcraft?" "What do you mean you don't play WoW? What kind of fucked up chick are you?" "You're coming with me, Warcraft virgin."
EPT
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