Then I might go upstairs and be like "are u sure its locked?" and go all the way back down to check again. It was annoying as hell, but one day it just stopped and I never check anymore.
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder - Page 3
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United States3573 Posts
Then I might go upstairs and be like "are u sure its locked?" and go all the way back down to check again. It was annoying as hell, but one day it just stopped and I never check anymore. | ||
FonzeXD
United States220 Posts
I have obsessive thoughts about my gfs/ex's past. I relive every scene in my head, every time I wake up, when I'm sitting in class, maybe even ALL day I can stay thinking about it. It's like a really crappy CD on repeat in my mind. I seem to not be able to NOT think about it. It becomes worse when my gf(well, ex) is actually in front of me: I might even think that I have psychosis because I even have hallucinations of her actually with the people from her past(and that's just absurd). Just thinking about my gfs past for 7 months straight made me think I had depression, psychosis, schizophrenia, OCD, a crapload of personality disorders..one time I thought I had cancer in my brain. At first(3 months in), I didn't really think of it as OCD or anything... just me not wanting to accept her past aka stubborn. Then, it started to become really depressing once it hit an entire year of just thinking about her past. I did the most idiotic things and I'm still stuck here... I seem to have never returned. It was triggered by gossip. I was so shocked and appalled that I had delusions that I might have STDs(and I hadn't even had sex with her when I had found out about her lengthy past). So much CRAP! Point is, I've had these obsessive thoughts for a year and a half now and I would remedy it with crazy amounts of weed(20-40 joints in a day, everyday) and different kinds of drugs(every drug, perhaps. I've tried them all...). I just seem to not be able to return from this..'place.' edit: Forgot to mention, the stress levels throughout all of this were so high at one point, I would get these crazy chills and night sweats randomly at night. My stress levels were so high I could taste it.. just so I could analyze and think about my gfs past. I don't get it. | ||
fanatacist
10319 Posts
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UFO
582 Posts
----------------------------------------- Original Message: That is pretty much all I know at the moment. I hope this information is helpful to you and sorry if I went off topic quite a bit. Thank you so much. You can ignore the following, please do as u wish. So to list the possible facts u mentioned : 1. She is quite lonely 2. She has family relationship problems 3. She was exposed to a lot of information 4. She seems to have religious dilemmas 5. Political debates Claims : - if u had #5 with her then I d guess she is able to speak about high level abstract concepts and present them with a fluent and adequate wording - tho propably not consistent , sometimes she might be lost etc. It might be not too useful for making friends tho, especially that she is 13, mb thats why "airheads" I read somewhere in a specialistic book that : ( I ll preadd that it says that there aren`t clear specifications as to what is the source of OCD, which is pretty bad news to OCD`ers tbh ) 1. Tends to increase the potency to fall into OCD 2. Look #1 3. #1 4. No data but it would be very logical that having them tends to increase OCD propability 5. Knowing if the intelligence is a helpful factor in recovering from OCD or not could be useful. Possibly yes but its not obvious. A lot of information at an early age - no data as well. Now my personal research and claims : Depends what info and how is it understood BUT the latter is something that is VERY important imo. OCDers have some disfunction with how they receive various information and here`s source or one of sources of OCD . This disfunction, however , is very hard to define or explain at least - a) they do illogical things but if u had acces to their thought process those things are LOGICAL b) they are logical but are based on WRONG ASSUMPTIONS, wrong , false , incorrect beliefs .... but is it a rule ? Being afraid of a spider(poisonless) - one would say that spider can`t harm you physically - but who knows of WHAT are arachnofobiacs actually afraid about that spider ? I was arachnofobiac myself as well and I HAVE NO IDEA. The fear or something else or mix of these causes your inview to be at a low degree. I don`t know if there is answer to what that fear is. This is a valuable answer because it would tell - what exactly was the WRONG ASSUMPTION/BELIEF. IF WE KNEW HOW TO EFFICIENTLY DISABLE WRONG ASSUMPTIONS , NEUTRALIZE THEIR S O U R C E - this , I believe, would be the cure for OCD. Theoretic(unfortunetaly....) example: One believs that (poisonless)spider can kill him ( mb he had traumatic experience in childhood - usually forgotten/hidden ). One does NOT know about this belief. One tries to find what that belief is. (**** he might even say it exactly right , outloud and cuz of his subconcious[ or some other psyche/human instrument/ conciousness element-psychlogy is incomplete] .... he can percieve this as unimportant, 'ain`t it' . How to get that belief ? Hypnosis etc , some way to make your psyche , lets say subconcious reveal the belief .... but why does it HIDE it ? Assumption is that some psyche element IS CONCIOUSLY HIDING THIS BELIEF , INFORMATION. FOR WHAT REASON ? Its intentions should be good, its your psyche so ? Only explantation is that it considers itself higher authority than YOU - THE CONCIOUSNESS conciousness( who/what are we exactly - is rather out of the scope of this post ) . Wait. Thats a ridicilous claim and a rather impossible one - so many ppl have arachnofobia and all of them , considering how individuals psyche differs from one another , have this psyche element(mb subconcioussness) doing this same thing ? That would exlude the 'good will' of this responsible psyche element or mean that its something else. I read on the Wingmakers.com(linking it to her might be a bad idea) website about the POLAR SYSTEM : which is the following http://projectcamelot.org/james_wingmakers_sovereign_integral.html ( YOU MIGHT CONSIDER IT A TOTAL B U L L S H I T and I don`t mind , I myself have a scientific-like approach to this and I have various strange experiences that seem to prove some very abstract concepts that are too wide and unexplored to be of any use to define truthfullness of this article, and one of them being the When-Which-How from Eventtemples.org) "Polarity System (PS) – This is a sub-node of DSIND designed to create polarities in the HMS and thus create friction between the polarities, and from this friction manifest discord and disharmony. If you exist in HMS (and you do), then you exist in polarity. It is truly that simple. Polarity is what activates and feeds the HMS. It is the “food” of HMS because in polarity the human instrument is lost in separation, which is precisely the point of HMS as intended by its designers." ------------------------------------------------ I proved myself that by the thoughts-behaviors-beliefs-emotion u can actually separate/unify and modify your psyche ( which is commonly known fact or not ? Idk tbh ) This means that u can actually create a personality or a subset of it in your inner world , where your imagination exists. All the talking to oneself , mental dialogues, images etc it affects your psyche in some way , more or less or it doesn`t in any significant way. This is a very subtle concept that is sometimes realized in conditions of loneliness(not always but it usually makes person less interested in the material world, by the very fact that - what do u do when u wait for the bus ?)+interest in those matters or or other factors that help/mb force the individual to develop the much bigger sensitity/interest in the inner world. Why do I talk about it ? If your attention is so inner world focused + some *potential* other factors like pesimism etc - it might be one of the major causes/the source of the OCD . HOW ? EXAMPLE : One`s attention is mostly focused innerly - if he`s with his imagination/emotions/ mostly then he might LACK the BALANCE that is usually met by interacting with others and his attention might be drawn to some psyche component. THE MORE ATTENTION psyche component gets the biggest impact it has. When this component got so much attention ( i guess it has to be pretty huge ) it starts to manifest signs of a will that is different to oneself`s. Might be that these signs are its weapon to get even more attention. THESE SIGNS are becoming( cuz u freak out, and this is cuz the psyche component uses your belief system to find a weak spot to attack/use, which will make u freak out ) the OBSESSIONS that cause COMPULSIONS ( aka SYMPTOMS , washin hands etc ) . Ie the psyche component tells you that ie u ll die out of bad luck caused by not doing something , specfic example " u ll die if u don`t do this x amount of times " ( btw I`m not giving exact number cuz of ocd symptom ) ALL OCD`ers have these compulsions, be it voices , images or even beliefs etc **** Non OCD`ers have mental dialogues , all the inner life stuff too but simply the degree to which they have compulsions is MINIMAL. Thus u can say that the intensification of the inner life(what inner life - lets say , uncontrolled) is making the source of compulsions become intensified , thus here`s the source behind OCD. OCD is the intensified lvl of a factor that all ppl posses Some random thoughts : The more OCD progress is advanced the harder and longer it will take to cure it Recovering from it requires incredible CONSISTENCY. Consistency in PROVING yourself that your fear comes out of a false,incorrect,unrealistic,illogical,stupid belief. Your main motivation is set on that BELIEF , that this fear means shit and you ought to reject it. geez I don`t know how it came out to be such a fucking eifell tower post, I was going to write short "Thx very much" O_O Anyways I know it might sound like some crazy talk , especially with (PS) part included and it propably does but I`m just sharing what I know and I want to have information on what other OCD`ers think about it . Still it helps me to just collect my thoughts somewhere cuz I never did it before. In case you wonder what the hell this fucktone of post is about - these are my theories about the reasons for OCD and its source. | ||
9287
United States134 Posts
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UFO
582 Posts
Now to my OCD : * before this , I ll mark all the stuff that I write not like I planned to originally , because of OCD - with this mark % asdkfjksda % , txt after * could be in a very mild , % % as well because writing about symptoms needs to avoid some words , at least for now cuz I m not in mood to defeat this shit further now , I defeated a crapload today already First I`m not gonna write about everything because its too ridicilous to do so, because of what it is. You might have posted a banner here with link to what I ll skip if I wouldn`t skip it, so that ppl would come and see how scandalic, retarded, stupid, idiotic this stuff was; if I did but I won`t. My current OCD symptoms are related to bald or ugly ppl - I had some retarded,incorrect,wrong,stupid,false fear about that. Everytime I saw them I would do all those mental, hidden rituals which was destroying the images of those people in my imagination, I would see their picture in my mental world , the % all black dimension % and in this dimension I would see those pictures , make them black&white piece of paper or some other suited material and then scroll it so it was just a small scroll to finally put or rather push it in the destroyer which was a big destructive acid contender. The moment I destroyed one , another one appeared so I had to destroy this shit now and it would repeat with changing frequency over day . So yeah , MATH TEST - WHAT DO I DO ? DESTROY THE FUCKING IMAGE. I never actually got worse mark cuz of it tho , it was just annoying and quite hard to do simultanously these 2 things . They weren`t also all easy to destroy - they would run the fuck away , scroll back to piece of paper, turn into some fucking iron , resist or I somehow couldn`t do it fast because of laziness , tho I would always , always do it , just later. Along with destruction I would shield myself with beautiful ppl etc so yeah , there are literally oceans and universes of actors, schoolmates etc Lately tho , I somehow win vs it , I mean I totally overwhelm it and I`m able to block the image from appearing , like I can block and severely weaken the thing that causes it. I wouldn`t call whole this thing ritual tho , I find it was like defending against someone % throwing a rock at you, with a shield %. Anyways, interesting thing is - I never stopped doing this and the symptoms subsided , like I`ve won vs it . Quite the opposite of what u do when u wash hands with less counts etc. However now, there are no images of bald people to destroy even if I see someone bald , I don`t turn any attention to it, l mean I don`t notice it. This has few exceptions like a teacher at school that I rarely see and an image of one %people%, I don`t want the word contaminated , fuck , I saw about a month ago that - destroying this image was one of the biggest efforts I put because of OCD. Today I had a day where I was able to defeat the fear and change the belief in quite a lot of my OCD things. Like ' %x%times' - ' F UUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK YYOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUU, G T F O, I WILL TOUCH THE FUCKING MONEY AND FUCK YOU AND I WON`T FEEL A FUCKING BIT OF ANYTHING BECAUSE OF THIS SHIT CUZ IT IS FUCKING INCORRECT, FALSE, RETARDED , STUPID ....' and so on , i kept sayin this with all the willpower strenght u can get and I was able to not do many usual OCD stuff. I think the medicine , Asentra that I take for about a month is starting to kick in , mb its cuz of this. I don`t do this in that writing because I feel its enough for today. Second OCD symptom is avoiding my mother as much as possible. I feared that by having contact with someone u become like them - btw if u have examples of that statement being a bullshit plz send me them )I avoid simply any contact with her. This topic already knows this shit , she touched the fucking door lock or key so now its contaminated and I won`t ever fucking touch it myself unless I`m armed. I wear white gloves for about 1 year now and at home I always wear gloves , I only sleep without them on. Still I avoid touching anything even with gloves ( except pc area ) , if I need to I use toilet paper, which was cause for quite a few arguments ( % at house there is Grandfather,Mother,Grandmother % ) , cuz they would be angry as fuck seeing toilet paper spread out everywhere at house, until I started hiding it as much as possible. Obviously thx to gloves I wash hands 3-4 rounds a day instead of a lot more ( S R S L Y IF U WASH HANDS ON OCD LVL - BUY THE GLOVES A S A P , I LOVE MY WHITE GLOVES SO MUCH <33333 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) each round being a 4,5,6,14,15,22,23,24 count of a washing in a ritualistic manner. One time it was around 50 , % 49/50/51 % and I don`t know if there were higher counts , if so - just a few - so not bad fortunetely. Strange fact - the numbers - just a month or 2 ago - were quite a lot different , and back later really a lot. 6 was bad , 5 was bad , 7 was good , now its literally reverse , it turns out that in this OCD I was doing almost every count . 10 bad because it had a symbolical meaning relating to human body parts , like 1 is the body part from 1 side , 0 from other side and 0 means no , 1 yes , just to give a clue on how this shit looks like, each number has somethin like that , and also there are things like 24=2+4=6 , the fact they r changin is a proof that its a meaningless bullshit with all these counts. Because of OCD - not only of course - and I`m not blaming it , its my fault pretty much and now I have to correct it , I mean OCD itself too - so that said - 'because' of OCD - school marks got hurt and I`m in a final High School class , preparing for the exams - my laziness was a reason rather but its a lot easier to fall when u do that stupid rituals , u know , tomorrow`s a test man , I ll do this but after some round of rituals I`m just demotivated and go to lie in bed and/or sleep. Marks are either great or the worst possible, simply because I either learn to the very last thing necessary to get great grade or I decide to quit Starcraft - yeah . I planned on becoming good ( achieving B-/B ) but I was taking Zolaxa and after it ( I`m rather sure its cuz of it , when I stopped taking it around 14-15 July - it stopped as well ) I started to just sleep. I would get home - through the bag on the floor and go to bed. Playing when I was sleepy wasn`t fun at all , when u are sleepy - the only thing u want is to Zzzzz , thats how the school year passed. Interestingly, now I`m able to sleep 1 hour , literally and not be tired throughout the day and in the morning I`m not even sleepy , whether I slept 3,4,5,8,14 hours, I feel very similar. Fuck man I guess I`ll just post that already. Some of it was just to write it, for the sake of it, so it might be long. | ||
SweeTLemonS[TPR]
11739 Posts
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OneOther
United States10774 Posts
On November 25 2009 07:06 Ryan307 ![]() I have severe OCD, and I the girl I'm dating has severe Trich which is an impusle control disorder. I have paranoia about me killing people/harming people, even though I know I'de never hurt a fly. For example when I used to drive, I would constantly be worried I was going to intentionnaly swirve into traffic. When I am alone and have sharp objects around me I worry I'm gonna hurt myself or other people, but I know I never would... My girlfriend washes her hands ~40 times a day and her hands are worn down from washing them so much. She avoids certain numbers and has some pretty intense compulsions. There are ways of recovering from OCD, I'm a part of a 12 step program that helps SO MUCH. 12 Step programs don't have to be all about God and all that (despite the wording of the steps). My girlfriend and I are very active in OCD recovery and all that, joining a 12 step program was the best thing I've ever done in my life Ahh I used to have the same thing. But I have almost completely gotten rid of it without going through any program or treatment. It comes back now and then but I kind of learned how to control my mind on my own. It doesn't bother/affect me anymore. I figured out how to deal with it as time went on, maybe because it wasn't too severe. God did help me ![]() | ||
mahnini
United States6862 Posts
On November 26 2009 00:13 Foucault wrote: This. And mahnini is a dumbass for saying that. Trying to make a bad ass comment in a thread where people are having more or less issues with OCD, yeah you're really hilarious. lol ok. everyone can have ocd then. everyone is special. | ||
Mischy
United States179 Posts
(and pay 1 life/ discard a blue card from your hand) I say confront your obsessions, go out into no man's land. -HamerD | ||
Rotodyne
United States2263 Posts
On November 26 2009 12:43 mahnini wrote: lol ok. everyone can have ocd then. everyone is special. It might be safe to say you either have OCD or you don't. But you said there are no such thing as a mild form versus and extreme form of OCD. The other day I saw a guy put his hands up like this ![]() hop in a 360, then get in his drivers seat. Had to be OCD O.o | ||
SlayerS_BunkiE
Canada1707 Posts
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Foucault
Sweden2826 Posts
On November 26 2009 14:23 Rotodyne wrote: It might be safe to say you either have OCD or you don't. But you said there are no such thing as a mild form versus and extreme form of OCD. The other day I saw a guy put his hands up like this ![]() hop in a 360, then get in his drivers seat. Had to be OCD O.o lol sounds more like an advanced tourettes "ritual". OCD is not about moving around | ||
alexpnd
Canada1857 Posts
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CharlieMurphy
United States22895 Posts
On November 25 2009 05:24 ghostWriter wrote: Well, I wash my hands really often, but I figure it's a good thing and haven't done anything about it. http://www.newton.dep.anl.gov/askasci/gen01/gen01286.htm Its actually bad. Just wash your hands when they are dirty or have germs on them. | ||
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rotinegg
United States1719 Posts
I was always the fat kid growing up, and being short didnt help my self esteem. Then in 9th grade, I hit my growth spurt. Also, I dunno if it was caused by my growth, but I started to become conscious of my fashion. All in all, I realized fat people can't wear clothes and look that good. So I started to work out and count calories. It was first called a diet, and my parents were very happy because I had never taken that kind of initiative before then. Then things started to get a little worse. I started fearing products like pizza and hamburgers and cut them out entirely out of my diet. Then I thought that if I skipped lunch everyday, I would "profit" 600 calories or so. So I skipped lunch everyday. Then it came to the point where I thought I could abuse my profit: since nobody knows that I skipped lunch, I would tell my family I would not eat dinner cuz I ate a big lunch. I told my friends at school I didn't eat lunch cuz I had big breakfasts and big dinners every day. I dunno if I was healthy, but I played alot of sports... I played soccer tennis everyday, and because I thought all the seconds when I wasn't running ie. kicking the ball, hitting the ball, were not calorie/time efficient, I ran afterwards for about an hour, and swam. I would calculate my calories so that I would consume less than 1000 everyday, and try to burn off most of it. In reality, I was probably netting negative calories every day. I went from 5'11" and 175 to 5'11" and 118 in the course of about 6 months. My parents were very worried and forcefed me, which made me run and swim even harder that day. The cure was somewhat simiolar to one of the posters' above: one day I went to Korea, I slowly stopped caring. All my friends said I was so skinny, and I was content, so I gave myself room to eat. It took me about 2 years to come back to normal weight, but now I'm healthy, and I thank whatever caused me to come to my senses. Sorry I can't give you specific advice, but I learned that Anorexia is caused by a feeling of having no control over your life. During the period I was in Korea, I got to go out everyday with my friends, and when I had people who accepted and liked me, I guess I lost the need to be in control of everything. Good luck to you, I hope everything works out | ||
MamiyaOtaru
United States1687 Posts
Also, I prefer going out the door I came in. Otherwise it's not balanced. None of this is set in stone, I can and do break it. I just tend not to, and prefer not to. It's not OCD, it just tends that way My dad thought this was funny and laughed at me and the rest of the family for their stuff until we learned that the temperature in his car has to be an even number :D | ||
mmp
United States2130 Posts
I'm just sayin... | ||
liosama
Australia843 Posts
It's only really when I'm out. I don't use soap or anything water suffices. After that I wash my face then arms, and dry it all with tissue. It's probably not good for my skin in the long run :\. But you cant help it when you play guitar, your hands have to be crisp and clean. | ||
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