EPTOn August 23 2011 07:29 Invol2ver wrote:
I read the whole thing with an almighty grin. Well done sir.
5/5
Show nested quote +
On August 23 2011 00:06 Risen wrote:
+ Show Spoiler +
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Time to do this then. Battle report of yesterdays intel/operation in null sec being written up!
Battle Report
Saranen Hatch members tend to be too concerned with their iskies, so when the call went out for a null sec roam and no one answered, I decided to go it alone.
I hit up the good ole dotlan map of Pure blind and sort by NPC ships killed to see where I can find some action (some people like to look for ships/pods but that just shows me where I'm probably going to die to a gate camp, not that it will stop me from going there, but it's not a priority).
First destination: CR-AQH 3j into null.
I land in the system, taunt the locals a bit, but the only person to bite is a drake. No thank you, I'll fight just about anybody, but I've got to be at least able to break your passive tank.
Next destination: EL8-4Q 9j into null.
I run into a spot of trouble in WW-KGD due to a couple canes who try to kill a frig without webs (what?) but I manage to burn my AB to the gate and I'm safely on my way. I arrive and start jumping around the belts looting all the wrecks, about 1min in my name is linked in local and I'm asked what the hell I think I'm doing. I say, "New to the game, just trying to make some money". Being the nice people they are, they begin to teach me the ways of null sec (seriously, I'm not talking about a fight here, they start listing rules to follow and shit). So I'm like, what will get a rise out of these guys? "I'm in a rifter, so if someone lands on me I can just warp out because they can't lock me in time." Local erupts in lols and I'm going, oh yeah that will make someone undock something. No beans, so I'm warping around and I finally catch up to the ratter who's in a FUCKING ISHTAR. Nope, peace. I leave system because I'm a bitch who values my rifter too much.
Final destination (hurr hurr): DP-1YE 15j into null, but only 8j from sara.
I jump into system and there are 8 local, including me. I'm doin me, landing on sun/planets and dscanning and I shit you not, dscan shows hulk/hulk/osprey/osprey/rorqual. I'm like a fuckin pit bull in that I'll attack just about anything, but it's nice to know what to do. I warp to the belt at 100 because noob life and I don't consider the possibility of them maybe thinking I'm there to kill them. They're mining... all of them. Check 360 dscan, nothing that hasn't been there already. At this point I'm crying in GA, someone, anyone please come help me take these people's money! No one answers the call. So I do what any noob pilot does, warp to sun and request in GA "about to land on belt at 0, please advise". Finally I get some help in the form of, kill the hulk he has 5k EHP. So, I primary the hulk and very shortly find a drake landing on grid with me, I dip mode out in 80% armor. So in local I type ((I've been paraphrasing up until this point, this is direct quote))
Risen Fem > gf
Risen Fem > Sorry about hurting you, I'm just bored and wanted to do something :<
They reply and say that I should do some of the anoms in system. What?! I just shot you, made you call in a drake, and now you're helping me?
SYNCJesus > Why don't you go do stuff with your corp?
Risen Fem > They're a bunch of pirates and our leader is a total dick
gotta hold to the truth as much as possible if I'm going to hold to this deception
SYNCJesus > You wanna join our corp? We do pvp, mining, anoms, plexes, whatever you want.
Long conversation entailing where I need to go to apply, and how they'll help me right off the bat!
Risen Fem > Sure, but can my friend join with me?
SYNCJesus > Sure. Link?
Not joking, I linked a random person from my contacts, didn't even think about it.
SYNCJesus > You're not even in the same corp?
Risen Fem > Oh, I got accepted to the Hatch and he didn't lol! :<
Whole bunch of nonsense talk while I warp around the anoms and start crying in local about how hard it is, and OMG these things hit for so hard!
Now we need to go back to my conversation in Ghost Academy these past 15 minutes. "Wtf people, someone come out here and help me kill this stuff. They have a drake defending them, it's me in local +6 of them, 5 are miners." Someone asks me if I'm on comms, NO, DIDNT THINK IT WOULD BE NECESSARY WITH THE AMOUNT OF ESTROGEN COMING THROUGH GA CHAT. But I get on comms anyways, because even without a mic I'd like to hear the cowardice in my own corp members voices when they explain to me that 8j into null through empty space is too dangerous to risk for a fleet of hulk/hulk/osprey/osprey/drake/rorqual.
I grudgingly get on comms, and then I hear someone's beautiful voice. "Hey Risen, can you link location? I'm coming ot save you, I'm bringing exotic dancers too." Maybe it was typed, maybe it was said over comms, I can't remember much from that time... I was in a state of euphoria that someone would actually want to pvp. I'm actually pretty sure it was two people, but in my head it's one person. Regardless, our heroes of the night were the esteemed Karah Serrigan and the valiant Orandos. While all my chatter in local was going on, these two were fitting anything they had with whatever they could find (because lets move to Saranen, land of jack shit). Karah is forced to come in what can only be described as possibly the second manliest ship to have in a fleet (behind the rifter, of course)... a Caracal. In his own words the fighter is a frigate with a cruiser hull. Whatever man, haters gonna hate, u gotta sk8. Orandos has a fitted drake on hand, so there's our touch of imba to mix with our manly.
Like new lovers our fleet awkwardly forms shape, and we find ourselves with me warping to the belt, them jumping into system. The call goes out "Warp to me on 0" and what ensues can only be described as a time of laughter. As they're in warp unholy hell breaks loose and I'm dropped almost to nothing faster than my prom date. Someone says GET OUT RISEN, YOU'VE DONE ALL YOU CAN! WE'LL TAKE IT FROM HERE! So I warp off. I let my repper bring me back to full armor and I warp back in. During this time they've mobilized a pitiful fleet to try and repel us and Karah/Orandos have managed to waste the Osprey, and with hero points the hulk. This unfortunately means we've managed to lose point on the rorqual, osprey, and hulk who manage to escape. A drake and rifter land on grid, and as I'm back down into armor I activate dip mode because local is spiking. I immediately warp to the 3V8-LJ gate and jump out. I repeatedly ask in chat if everyone has made it out while I'm on my way to the R6XN-9 gate. I'm abandoning the OP, there's just too much to take on with our small fleet. That's when I hear it... the heartbreaking chatter over comms of a man left behind. Karah's mighty Caracal is fighting with everything it has, but it's dropping fast.
ABOUT FACE! Jesus fuck no, not the mighty Caracal! I'm in jump back to the gate Karah, just hold on. Don't go down like this! I jump through the gate just as I hear Karah begin to speak calmly to Orandos and I. He says it's been an honor, and given the chance he'd do it again. To keep fighting the good fight, and if his pod doesn't make it out, to let his clone know what happened. Through the static interference I hear Karah screaming murder. Orandos and I are with him the whole time as first his shields, and then his armor, are chipped away by what is now known to be his execution squad. It's a shame we lost that ship. It did good work for us. Thankfully, Karah's pod made it out and he's still with us fighting today. Bravest man I know, Karah is.
The killmaill
http://teamliquid.killmail.org/?a=kill_related&kll_id=10472848
At this point, Orandos and I are now almost trapped in the system. He's warping to celestials making safes, and I'm just sitting at the one safe I have (taken from Orandos ty sir). We're finally able to mobilize a fleet, because while a rorqual could not bring the bear from his cave, the tale of Karah's heroic struggle has stirred his heart (or something, idk just roll with it). And much like the bear, oncearoused roused from it's slumber it's almost impossible to stop. The mighty Kwark joins fleet and takes over the mobilization of forces. I don't feel I can writeup the following battle report with enough gusto to do it justiuce, I was just Risen Fem's Rifter out there on a battlefield of many. Some may say that the real battle was the second one, fought with links and proper command. I say they're wrong, the real fight was when we three went up against the many. Taking on the whole carebear corp with just a frigate, big frigate, and bigger frigate.
The second killmail for those who care about such things.
http://teamliquid.killmail.org/?a=kill_related&kll_id=10473169
Warning. Some moments of this epic struggle may be embellished. Quotes are used liberally, and without journalistic integrity. Next up, a pseudo-psychologist's look into the mind of a spai, and it's effects on him/those around him.
Battle Report
Saranen Hatch members tend to be too concerned with their iskies, so when the call went out for a null sec roam and no one answered, I decided to go it alone.
I hit up the good ole dotlan map of Pure blind and sort by NPC ships killed to see where I can find some action (some people like to look for ships/pods but that just shows me where I'm probably going to die to a gate camp, not that it will stop me from going there, but it's not a priority).
First destination: CR-AQH 3j into null.
I land in the system, taunt the locals a bit, but the only person to bite is a drake. No thank you, I'll fight just about anybody, but I've got to be at least able to break your passive tank.
Next destination: EL8-4Q 9j into null.
I run into a spot of trouble in WW-KGD due to a couple canes who try to kill a frig without webs (what?) but I manage to burn my AB to the gate and I'm safely on my way. I arrive and start jumping around the belts looting all the wrecks, about 1min in my name is linked in local and I'm asked what the hell I think I'm doing. I say, "New to the game, just trying to make some money". Being the nice people they are, they begin to teach me the ways of null sec (seriously, I'm not talking about a fight here, they start listing rules to follow and shit). So I'm like, what will get a rise out of these guys? "I'm in a rifter, so if someone lands on me I can just warp out because they can't lock me in time." Local erupts in lols and I'm going, oh yeah that will make someone undock something. No beans, so I'm warping around and I finally catch up to the ratter who's in a FUCKING ISHTAR. Nope, peace. I leave system because I'm a bitch who values my rifter too much.
Final destination (hurr hurr): DP-1YE 15j into null, but only 8j from sara.
I jump into system and there are 8 local, including me. I'm doin me, landing on sun/planets and dscanning and I shit you not, dscan shows hulk/hulk/osprey/osprey/rorqual. I'm like a fuckin pit bull in that I'll attack just about anything, but it's nice to know what to do. I warp to the belt at 100 because noob life and I don't consider the possibility of them maybe thinking I'm there to kill them. They're mining... all of them. Check 360 dscan, nothing that hasn't been there already. At this point I'm crying in GA, someone, anyone please come help me take these people's money! No one answers the call. So I do what any noob pilot does, warp to sun and request in GA "about to land on belt at 0, please advise". Finally I get some help in the form of, kill the hulk he has 5k EHP. So, I primary the hulk and very shortly find a drake landing on grid with me, I dip mode out in 80% armor. So in local I type ((I've been paraphrasing up until this point, this is direct quote))
Risen Fem > gf
Risen Fem > Sorry about hurting you, I'm just bored and wanted to do something :<
They reply and say that I should do some of the anoms in system. What?! I just shot you, made you call in a drake, and now you're helping me?
SYNCJesus > Why don't you go do stuff with your corp?
Risen Fem > They're a bunch of pirates and our leader is a total dick
gotta hold to the truth as much as possible if I'm going to hold to this deception
SYNCJesus > You wanna join our corp? We do pvp, mining, anoms, plexes, whatever you want.
Long conversation entailing where I need to go to apply, and how they'll help me right off the bat!
Risen Fem > Sure, but can my friend join with me?
SYNCJesus > Sure. Link?
Not joking, I linked a random person from my contacts, didn't even think about it.
SYNCJesus > You're not even in the same corp?
Risen Fem > Oh, I got accepted to the Hatch and he didn't lol! :<
Whole bunch of nonsense talk while I warp around the anoms and start crying in local about how hard it is, and OMG these things hit for so hard!
Now we need to go back to my conversation in Ghost Academy these past 15 minutes. "Wtf people, someone come out here and help me kill this stuff. They have a drake defending them, it's me in local +6 of them, 5 are miners." Someone asks me if I'm on comms, NO, DIDNT THINK IT WOULD BE NECESSARY WITH THE AMOUNT OF ESTROGEN COMING THROUGH GA CHAT. But I get on comms anyways, because even without a mic I'd like to hear the cowardice in my own corp members voices when they explain to me that 8j into null through empty space is too dangerous to risk for a fleet of hulk/hulk/osprey/osprey/drake/rorqual.
I grudgingly get on comms, and then I hear someone's beautiful voice. "Hey Risen, can you link location? I'm coming ot save you, I'm bringing exotic dancers too." Maybe it was typed, maybe it was said over comms, I can't remember much from that time... I was in a state of euphoria that someone would actually want to pvp. I'm actually pretty sure it was two people, but in my head it's one person. Regardless, our heroes of the night were the esteemed Karah Serrigan and the valiant Orandos. While all my chatter in local was going on, these two were fitting anything they had with whatever they could find (because lets move to Saranen, land of jack shit). Karah is forced to come in what can only be described as possibly the second manliest ship to have in a fleet (behind the rifter, of course)... a Caracal. In his own words the fighter is a frigate with a cruiser hull. Whatever man, haters gonna hate, u gotta sk8. Orandos has a fitted drake on hand, so there's our touch of imba to mix with our manly.
Like new lovers our fleet awkwardly forms shape, and we find ourselves with me warping to the belt, them jumping into system. The call goes out "Warp to me on 0" and what ensues can only be described as a time of laughter. As they're in warp unholy hell breaks loose and I'm dropped almost to nothing faster than my prom date. Someone says GET OUT RISEN, YOU'VE DONE ALL YOU CAN! WE'LL TAKE IT FROM HERE! So I warp off. I let my repper bring me back to full armor and I warp back in. During this time they've mobilized a pitiful fleet to try and repel us and Karah/Orandos have managed to waste the Osprey, and with hero points the hulk. This unfortunately means we've managed to lose point on the rorqual, osprey, and hulk who manage to escape. A drake and rifter land on grid, and as I'm back down into armor I activate dip mode because local is spiking. I immediately warp to the 3V8-LJ gate and jump out. I repeatedly ask in chat if everyone has made it out while I'm on my way to the R6XN-9 gate. I'm abandoning the OP, there's just too much to take on with our small fleet. That's when I hear it... the heartbreaking chatter over comms of a man left behind. Karah's mighty Caracal is fighting with everything it has, but it's dropping fast.
ABOUT FACE! Jesus fuck no, not the mighty Caracal! I'm in jump back to the gate Karah, just hold on. Don't go down like this! I jump through the gate just as I hear Karah begin to speak calmly to Orandos and I. He says it's been an honor, and given the chance he'd do it again. To keep fighting the good fight, and if his pod doesn't make it out, to let his clone know what happened. Through the static interference I hear Karah screaming murder. Orandos and I are with him the whole time as first his shields, and then his armor, are chipped away by what is now known to be his execution squad. It's a shame we lost that ship. It did good work for us. Thankfully, Karah's pod made it out and he's still with us fighting today. Bravest man I know, Karah is.
The killmaill
http://teamliquid.killmail.org/?a=kill_related&kll_id=10472848
At this point, Orandos and I are now almost trapped in the system. He's warping to celestials making safes, and I'm just sitting at the one safe I have (taken from Orandos ty sir). We're finally able to mobilize a fleet, because while a rorqual could not bring the bear from his cave, the tale of Karah's heroic struggle has stirred his heart (or something, idk just roll with it). And much like the bear, once
The second killmail for those who care about such things.
http://teamliquid.killmail.org/?a=kill_related&kll_id=10473169
Warning. Some moments of this epic struggle may be embellished. Quotes are used liberally, and without journalistic integrity. Next up, a pseudo-psychologist's look into the mind of a spai, and it's effects on him/those around him.
I read the whole thing with an almighty grin. Well done sir.
5/5
HML caracal with a scram! What was karah thinking. Manly caracal pilots use AMLs, and dare I say, Rocket launchers?
Edit: Karah must have been THAT guy in 300 equipped with a bow and arrow instead of a sword and shield.
![[image loading]](http://i692.photobucket.com/albums/vv286/Body_Shield/1313916190662.jpg)
