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GMarshal
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States22154 Posts
Last Edited: 2015-03-15 14:53:45
February 27 2012 17:57 GMT
#1
[image loading]

You can find the tl mafia subforum here!

Oops, looks like your browser doesn't support the audio tag yet. You can download the file manually: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/2296045/Mafia_12.ogg

The unofficial mafia themesong, give it a listen while you read



What is Mafia?

Mafia is an educated guessing game of epic proportions. The objective of the game is to lynch or kill all mafia members before they outnumber the rest of the town. It's much like a game of poker because mafia members are also part of the town during the day and may manipulate the vote to their liking. If the mafia at any time outnumber or equal the townspeople, they win. The town's goal is to lynch all the members of the mafia.


Wait, what?

It's quite simple, actually. You will be given a single role, of which some exciting examples are shown below:

Townie:
You are a townie! You may not have a special role, but you are the most important part of the town. You are armed with three deadly weapons that will serve you well in defeating the mafia: they are, your vote, your brain and your life. Now, go and kill the mafia before they kill everyone in the town. You win when all threats to the town are dead, and at least one town aligned player is left.

Vigilante:
You are a vigilante! You are armed and dangerous. You are more than happy to take the law into your own hands, using your trusty gun, and the only bullet you could find. Once per game, at night, you may PM me a player to be shot. If your kill overlaps with a mafia your bullet will be refunded (unless the player has some form of protection). If your kill overlaps with another vigilante, the first hit sent in will take precedence (again, unless the targeted player has protection). You may not kill on night 1, as you will be too drunk from the post lynch celebration party. You win when all threats to the town are dead, and at least one town aligned player is left.

Detective:
You are a detective! During the day you walk around like a normal townie, not revealing your identity as a super secret ace investigator. During the night you can analyze a player, figuring out their alignment, either town or mafia. You win when all threats to the town are dead, and at least one town aligned player is left.

Mafia Godfather:
You are the nefarious leader of the mafia, the Godfather himself. The mafia chooses the godfather from amongst themselves on night 1. The godfather always appears town to detectives. The Godfather must be chosen from the mafia goons, as non-goon scum have other duties to fulfill. You win when you outnumber the town or nothing can stop that from occurring

Serial Killer
A crazed maniac, and a fugitive from the law, you have recently escaped your imprisonment in a high security government facility, and have returned to wreak vengeance on those who put you there in the first place. Every night you may choose to break into a players house and chop them up into tiny pieces (this is a single kp). You are also incredibly crafty and can easily survive any misguided attempts on your life, any hits aimed at you automatically fail, and you will be notified that you were hit. Finally, cops can't get a good read on you, and will assume you are town. You win when you are the last player remaining in the game.

Many roles have special powers, but not all do. The full role list can be found in the Mafia subforum, there are plenty of fun ones.




and...?
Ok, so you will have your role. Regardless of your role, you will have an overarching objective: If you're town, you want to find and lynch the mafia as quickly as possible. If you're mafia, you'll want to avoid detection as long as possible and sneakily murder the crap out of townies at nighttime. There might even be a third party, lurking in the shadows, with their own separate win condition...

Mafia will know who their teammates are (organized crime is organized). Town, however, will not know the roles of anyone besides themselves! The goal of the game is to learn to read people and find out who's trustworthy, and who's a scum in disguise.

The game is split into day and night cycles. During the day, the town gets to discuss the happenings and decide who they think is the shadiest out of them all. They then vote on who to lynch, and that player is removed from the game. In a very short, violent fashion.

During the night, roles with special powers may use those powers (for good or ill), and the mafia gets to run around murdering people. In other words, the mafia will send in a hit-list, and barring external events, everyone on the list will get, well, hit. With a hammer. Hard.

In the end, one of the two parties will emerge the victor - either all the mafia will meet their end by mob justice, or the mafia will successfully avoid detection and pick the town off one by one.


I'm still confused...
Fortunately a team of extremely friendly gentelmen took the time to write a guide of the very basics of playing mafia, here, reading it should dispel any final questions.


but why should I play?
There isn't much more I can say that will successfully transmit the absolute exhilaration that is mafia. Playing mafia is something that has to be experienced, from spending 5+ hours working on a mega long post that proves without a doubt that your prime suspect is mafia (only to later have him flip town) to logging in after waking up in the morning, to find that someone has managed to peg the entire scumteam but that another townie with a bomb decided suicide bomb into the medic instead, costing you the game, to contesting a hard fought lynch in which the entire fate of the game quivers in the balance, suspended only by the strength of your convictions. Mafia is a boatload of fun, it is a serious time commitment, but one that is rewarding and exceedingly fun.

Its not just the games either. From playing mafia I have met some of the coolest people on teamliquid, from well known people like Ver, flamewheel and BloodyC0bbler, to people most of you have never heard of, like Qatol, kavdragon, wherebugsgo, and many, many others. Once you play with us, you are forever part of a circle, and that by itself makes all the bitter defeats and exhilarating wins pale in comparison.

So, come play with us! become a member of a mob! Lynch people! Have fun and get to know one of the hidden gems of TL.



Ok, fine, I guess I'll give it a shot, where can I find this? I'm blind and totally missed the huge links at the top of the page!

Once again, in case you missed the big text at the top of the page, you can find the tl mafia subforum here!

The latest newbie game, designed for newer players can be found here




Mafia Resources and List of ongoing/upcoming games.


Useful Links
  • A General Guide to Playing Mafia - very useful!
  • LSB's Newbie Guide
  • Mafiascum Newbie Guide
  • Introduction to Mafia (Flash)
  • Ver's town guide
  • Ace's Mafia Manifesto
  • Qatol's Town Guide
  • Qatol's Mafia VII Experience
  • Ace's Cop/Vigi guide
  • TL Mafia Library- a compilation of all past games and resources


+ Show Spoiler [ out of date] +
concluded games

+ Show Spoiler +

Newbie Mafia IV - Newbie Mafia Game (Mini)
+ Show Spoiler +

Fluff- Aboard spaceship Liquidia, four horrible changelings have escaped and are determined to slaughter the crew before the ship can make it home. Will the brave men and women aboard the ship succeed in defeating this threat before it consumes them and dooms this fateful expedition, or will the changelings succeed in seeding chaos and securing the ship for themselves?

Setup Information- 14 players, four of them mafia, this is a newbie setup, which means that it is restricted to certain roles and has been carefully balanced in order to maximize the enjoyment of the players. The setup is semi-open which means all possible roles are known, but their exact numbers are not.


Storm Mafia - Normal Game
+ Show Spoiler +
Only extraordinary circumstances drive people to do extraordinary things. There's now a month since the storm enveloped the town of Liquidia, and completely cut off all communication with the outside world. For the first week everyone assumed the storm would pass by, but the town has now been caught in the eye of the storm for a month.

Once it became clear the townsfolk would have to survive the natural phenomenon on their own without any help, things started going down-hill. As men struggled for power and in the isolation even small annoyances became sources of burning hatred, the only pillar of stability in the community was the Town's mayor and his sheriff.

Even as the townsfolk turned on each other, the situation was tense, yet non-violent when Sandroba the mayor, and his sheriff Palmar kept the town somewhat organized and functioning.

That all changed last night. As both men never returned to their respective posts, only to be found murdered in their homes.

Now, in an emergency meeting, the most prominent citizens of Liquidia have gathered on the Town Square, trying to figure out what happened. Suddenly the tense, yet innocent, atmosphere became sullen with the weight of murders.

It seems as if the world has forgot about Liquidia. It's up to you to save it, or take it.


Setup Information: This is a closed normal setup. There are however variations of roles that can be considered non-normal. Thus you should treat this game as something of a borderline themed/normal. The distinction is somewhat hard to make, so just keep it in mind as you enter the game.

It has no explicit themes. It’s only the roles that make the game somewhat unusual. There may be more than 2 factions in the game.

This is a hard setup. It's not forgiving for any faction. Mistakes, disinterest and general incompetence can lead to a quick victory for either side. The game might even feel unbalanced if one side screws up too hard. But trust me that we've gone through like 10 iterations to get this right.


Kaller Mafia - Theme Game
+ Show Spoiler +

A caller game. For those of you who don't know what that means, it means a highly themed game, in which fluff is irrelevant, as the setup is so insane that it doesn't matter what you do, unexpected results are guaranteed. This is in every sense of the world a "bastard host" game.


Newbie Mafia V - Newbie Mini Mafia.
+ Show Spoiler +

Fluff- Newbie Mini Mafia V follows the horrific aftermath of the series of events taking place in Newbie Mini I. The pony cultist leader has emerged from hiding as he seeks to bring chaos upon the unsuspecting town of Newbieville. Nine teenagers with attitude have been selected to fight the evil pony minions. Earth's fate lies in their hands! Will Good or Evil prevail?

Setup Information- 12 players, three of them mafia, this is a newbie setup, which means that it is restricted to certain roles and has been carefully balanced in order to maximize the enjoyment of the players. The setup is semi-open which means all possible roles are known, but their exact numbers are not. It is also restricted to newer players, which means it is ideal for learning the basics without worrying too much about screwing up.


Surprisingly Normal Mini Mafia VIII - Recommended, Newbie Mini Mafia.
+ Show Spoiler +

Fluff: It is the year 2120, humanity is in decadence, enslaved by a terrifying alien race, known only as the flughmofins. On earth, a small group has gathered to resist these alien oppressors and liberate humanity. Unofrtunately for them, they have been infiltrated by a team of flughmofin shapeshifters, will they be able to weed the aliens in their midst before they are wiped out? Or will the last hope of humanity perish?

Setup Information: 12 players, three of them mafia, this is a newbie setup, which means that it is restricted to certain roles and has been carefully balanced in order to maximize the enjoyment of the players. The setup is semi-open which means all possible roles are known, but their exact numbers are not. It is also restricted to newer players, which means it is ideal for learning the basics without worrying too much about screwing up. It is also hosted by me, which means it will be awesome

Mr. Wiggles Mini Mafia II - Normal Mini
+ Show Spoiler +

Fluff- Something about pirates!

Setup Information: 12 players, semi open setup, featuring some more advanced roles like watchers, trackers and scum vigilantes, as well as the possibility of a third party serial killer (although his presence is not guaranteed). This setup has a lot of potential for interesting role interactions and lot of death.



Mafia LII: JubJub Mafia -Normal Game
+ Show Spoiler +

TL Mafia LII: JubJub Mafia

Fluff:
On August 06 2011 20:35 Ace wrote:
Even dumber than 2 years ago.

Player A: Prove you're Town.

Player B: What? That absurdly ridi-

Player A: He can't do it! Lynch him!

Jubjubs (chanting): It makes so much sense! Lynch him!


or the equally stupid because it's the same thing:

Player A: Prove you aren't Mafia.

Player B: ....

Player A: He's defending himself! Lynch him! Defending yourself is a scumtell!

Jubjubs: My god! Why didn't we see this before! *smacks collective forehead*

There is a difference between ignorance and stupidity. Try to be on the ignorant side, ok?

[image loading]


Setup Info: Closed setup, 4 mafia players, 1 traitor out of a total of 20 players. That is all that is known, no role flip on death (which means alignment does flip [so you know if they were town or mafia] but not their role), PMs semi allowed, that is, you may PM up to two other people in the game.

Aperture Mafia - Theme Game
+ Show Spoiler +
Come to TL Mafia. There will be cake.

[image loading]


Stand by for prerecorded message...




Hello! And welcome to the TL Mafia new testing initiative! By now you must have noticed the section of TeamLiquid dovoted to playing "Mafia." And by now you must also have noticed yourself wondering what this is all about. Well don't worry Citizen of Liquidia, That is what science is here to tell you!

Some people might call Mafia "A guessing game of Epic Porportions." Well those people are not real men! Mafia is an epic game of Science and Testing! And not baby science either, this is Real Science...and testing.

Moving on.

By now most of you are ready to throw yourselves at us carelessly, but science needs direction! Part of the TL Mafia new testing initiative is to have the New Player Testing Courses up and running at all times! Helping science has never been easier! So come on over to the TL Mafia forums, where we can progress...For Science!

This concludes the prerecorded message! If you...hav..quest...ask....

GLaDOS: "That's better. I'm glad so many of you are here. You must all really love to test. I am just putting some of the finishing touches on the Aperture Mafia Testing course. I know some people would think it would take years to turn Liquidia into the largest testing chamber ever constructed. But that doesn't bother me. I'm in it for the Science. Let me open up one of those old testing courses for you. You can test there until I have obtained more test subjects.

Remember, at the end of every testing course, there will be delicious cake.

But Don't Keep me waiting."


A Game of Thrones Mafia Normal Game
+ Show Spoiler +

Theme- A Game of thrones!

Setup Information- normal game, no PMs, all possible roles are known but not which ones are actually in the game/how many (so semi-open), 21 people, 16 Town 4 Mafia 1 3rd Party.


Surprisingly Normal Mini Mafia IX
+ Show Spoiler +

Theme- Welcome to hell, or the closest thing you'll find to it on earth. After an experiment gone horribly wrong twelve people end up stranded on the wrong side of a dimensional rift. If that weren't bad enough, three of them are members of an anarchist conspiracy and want to seize control of the rift stabilizer. Will the scientists weed out the anarchists in their midst and fix the rift generator before it begins eating entire worlds, or will the anarchists ensure the eventual doom of the universe and leave the team trapped and falling through time? The fate of the world is in your hands.

Setup Information- 12 players, three of them mafia, this is a newbie setup, which means that it is restricted to certain roles and has been carefully balanced in order to maximize the enjoyment of the players. The setup is semi-open which means all possible roles are known, but their exact numbers are not. It is also restricted to newer players, which means it is ideal for learning the basics without worrying too much about screwing up. It is also hosted by me, which means it will be awesome


Sum of All Fears Mafia - Themed Mini
+ Show Spoiler +
"I don't know whether war is an interlude during peace, or peace an interlude during war."
      - Georges Clemenceau



SOVIETS!

NUKES!

SCUM!


[image loading]



Warning! This is classified information. Those without level I document is prohibited from continuing further. Ignoring this instruction is punishable by law. UNCLASSIFIED


14 Participants are required for the upcoming mini theme game. The team which consists of █████████████████ will be tasked with elimination of ███████████ in order to prevent outbreak of direct hostilities (Closed setup). Due to sensitive nature of the operation, all private communication is strictly forbidden.


Newbie Mini Mafia VI- Newbie Mini, highly recommended
+ Show Spoiler +
Theme- Forthcoming

Setup Information- A variable open setup for 9 players, there will be two mafia, (one goon and one roleblocker) and two out of four of the following roles (with no doubling up), Vanilla Townie, Detective, Medic and Jailer. The setup is newbie friendly, and should pose a great learning experience.


Death Factory 2 - Themed game
+ Show Spoiler +

Theme- In a crazy toy factory, evil toys seek to destroy the good toys, with the help of the incinerating queue and the toys abilities, either good or evil will triumph

Setup Information- A reboot of death factory mafia, hosted by the inestimable Ace, this game will probably be a closed setup, once again employing an incinerator queue which grows, and naturally a lot of different and awesome powers. This promises to be one of the most awesome and intense games that will take place in the near future. A must watch for everyone, highly suggested for people who love interesting and advanced setups. Probably 20 players.




Ongoing Games
Bastard Mafia
+ Show Spoiler +

Theme- A plane crash on an insane island. Who will survive and who will die?

Setup Information- A bastard host game, expect to be lied to, your win conditions to change and nothing to make any sense. Not recommend for newer players.


Newbie Mini Mafia VII- Newbie Mini, highly recommended
+ Show Spoiler +
Theme- Forthcoming

Setup Information- A variable open setup for 9 players, there will be two mafia, (one goon and one roleblocker) and two out of four of the following roles (with no doubling up), Vanilla Townie, Detective, Medic and Jailer. The setup is newbie friendly, and should pose a great learning experience.


Mafia LI - Normal Game
+ Show Spoiler +

Theme- You are invited to a masquerade party, where you and the other nobles will mingle, but behind this facade a sinister game is being played, one of cat and mouse. Will your wits and sly tounge be enough to save yourself and the entire nobility of the realm, or will the conspirators manage to slaughter the nobles and begin a reign of anarchy? Only you can decide the fate of the kingdom

Setup Information - Normal Game, No PMs, semi-open, traditional roles only, modified mafia powers (delay power, allows them to play with the kills), this game will be as normal as can be, with the possible inclusion of traitors. This will be fluff heavy, but the game will be normal.


Games In Signups - (the ones you want to sign up for)

Space Station Mafia - Large Theme
+ Show Spoiler +

Theme- The SS Antioch hasn't received an incoming communication in just over three months. Originally orbiting Mars, the once familiar view of the red planet has disappeared. Only the endless void of black space greets the surviving researchers. An unknown biomass has taken over parts of the station. Endless spirals of thick pulsating red flesh and undulating black scales cover the entire east wing of the station. Researchers not consumed by the web of alien flesh have been found murdered in their quarters. The living crew members have begun meeting during the day to decide which among them is responsible for the deaths. Every day they vote and send one of their own out into the black void of space, to die floating in a sea of emptiness.

Setup Information - Space Station Mafia is a closed setup game filled with flavor. Around 30 players will be playing


Upcoming Games - No thread up for them yet




Finally, you can always find someone on #tlmafia on quakenet, (which you can join using this link. Feel free to jump on and talk to anyone about anything, from mafia to proleague.

Credit to brownbear for writing the mega awesome explanation of what mafia is, exactly
Moderator
Jayjay54
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Germany2296 Posts
February 27 2012 18:04 GMT
#2
I can only agree. I am playing my third game right now and it's awesome. You also learn how to make arguements and (as scum) how to manipulate.

Sometimes I catch myself considering if someone in real life is scum the way he talks :D

The game is a ton of work, but the community is great and you should totally give it a try, if you would like to sharpen some social skills and people judgment (is that a word?)

come on up!
Things are laid back in Unidenland. And may the road ahead be lid with dreams and tomorrows. Which are lid with dreams. Also.
Kurumi
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Poland6130 Posts
February 27 2012 18:13 GMT
#3
Just a small tip:
Before playing You need to distance Yourself a bit. Many vets have aggressive style (or at least try to push You hard and You might feel helpless) so that might be a little problem to overcome. But besides that, we're friends. Mafia's cool.
I work alone. // Visit TL Mafia subforum!
GreYMisT
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States6736 Posts
February 27 2012 18:54 GMT
#4
better get your practice in now if you want to play aperture mafia. I have made the setup....interesting
"life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery" / Join TL Mafia! http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/index.php?show_part=31
kitaman27 *
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States9244 Posts
February 27 2012 20:08 GMT
#5
TL Mafia sounds amazing! I'm going to give Newbie Mini Mafia V a try!
I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt. I mean not that fancy store bought dirt. That stuffs loaded with nutrients. I... I can't compete with that stuff.
Jitsu
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States929 Posts
February 27 2012 20:14 GMT
#6
Whatever everyone else said. A lot of fun.

The games are a lot of work, but if you put the time and effort in, it can be very rewarding!

TL Mafia wants you!
Zerg Player in CheckMate Gaming - http://checkmategaming.webs.com/
Mattchew
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States5684 Posts
February 27 2012 20:17 GMT
#7
TL mafia best place in the world
There is always tomorrow nshs.seal.
Hesmyrr
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Canada5776 Posts
February 27 2012 20:23 GMT
#8
On February 28 2012 03:13 Kurumi wrote:
Just a small tip:
Before playing You need to distance Yourself a bit. Many vets have aggressive style (or at least try to push You hard and You might feel helpless) so that might be a little problem to overcome. But besides that, we're friends. Mafia's cool.

There's this, and I definitely recommend new people to read through at least one of the game so they know what to expect and learn what not to do. We accept everyone but the disorderly maniacs (well, rule-breaking disorderly maniacs ).
"If watching the MSL finals makes you a progamer, then anyone in Korea can do it." - Ha Tae Ki
GreYMisT
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States6736 Posts
February 27 2012 21:10 GMT
#9
On February 28 2012 05:23 Hesmyrr wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 28 2012 03:13 Kurumi wrote:
Just a small tip:
Before playing You need to distance Yourself a bit. Many vets have aggressive style (or at least try to push You hard and You might feel helpless) so that might be a little problem to overcome. But besides that, we're friends. Mafia's cool.

There's this, and I definitely recommend new people to read through at least one of the game so they know what to expect and learn what not to do. We accept everyone but the disorderly maniacs (well, rule-breaking disorderly maniacs ).


pretty much as long as you read the rules and use your head you are generally safe from the terrors of the mods
"life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery" / Join TL Mafia! http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/index.php?show_part=31
flamewheel
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
FREEAGLELAND26780 Posts
February 27 2012 23:17 GMT
#10
horse supports this!
Writerdamn, i was two days from retirement
GreYMisT
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States6736 Posts
February 27 2012 23:39 GMT
#11
Quick Mr. Wiggles, Make the Flamewheel horse stamp of approval!
"life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery" / Join TL Mafia! http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/index.php?show_part=31
VisceraEyes
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States21038 Posts
February 27 2012 23:59 GMT
#12
BEST.

STICKY.

EVAAR.

if I had to describe his playstyle, it'd be a coked up rabbit with the attention of a goldfish injecting caffeine into himself directly through an IV drip. it's like a reel of random animated shorts where things just blow up randomly
Mattchew
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States5684 Posts
February 28 2012 00:09 GMT
#13
make sticky about TL Mafia, only TL Mafia people post in it (but hell if it keeps it bumped and getting views why not)
There is always tomorrow nshs.seal.
PaqMan
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
United States1475 Posts
February 28 2012 00:45 GMT
#14
I miss playing Mafia with you guys /= I stopped playing because school started up and I don't have enough time to commit. As soon as soccer season is over I'll try to get back into it. It was sooooo much fun even though I've only played 4 games.
t(ツ)t
GMarshal
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States22154 Posts
February 28 2012 01:50 GMT
#15
On February 28 2012 09:45 PaqMan wrote:
I miss playing Mafia with you guys /= I stopped playing because school started up and I don't have enough time to commit. As soon as soccer season is over I'll try to get back into it. It was sooooo much fun even though I've only played 4 games.

I no longer recognize you with a different name!

I am also going to continue to refer to you as a "she" for old times sake :-P
Moderator
gunman103
Profile Joined February 2011
United States84 Posts
February 28 2012 03:15 GMT
#16
Just signed up for newbie mafia V. First time playing, but I've wanted to get into mafia for a while now. Hope it's going to be as good as everyone says.
sinani206
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United States1959 Posts
February 28 2012 04:23 GMT
#17
Easy way to increase post count :D
literally everything is wifom just shut the fuck up
iGrok
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States5142 Posts
February 28 2012 06:30 GMT
#18
On February 28 2012 13:23 sinani206 wrote:
Easy way to increase post count :D

Oh god not this again. Every time we brag about mafia, someone brings up post inflation and then we get yelled at not to talk about it lol.
MOTM | Stim.tv | TL Mafia | Fantasy Fighting! | SNSD
GreYMisT
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States6736 Posts
February 28 2012 06:35 GMT
#19
On February 28 2012 15:30 iGrok wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 28 2012 13:23 sinani206 wrote:
Easy way to increase post count :D

Oh god not this again. Every time we brag about mafia, someone brings up post inflation and then we get yelled at not to talk about it lol.


Don't Talk About It!!!
"life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery" / Join TL Mafia! http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/index.php?show_part=31
kitaman27 *
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States9244 Posts
February 28 2012 17:44 GMT
#20
On February 28 2012 15:35 GreYMisT wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 28 2012 15:30 iGrok wrote:
On February 28 2012 13:23 sinani206 wrote:
Easy way to increase post count :D

Oh god not this again. Every time we brag about mafia, someone brings up post inflation and then we get yelled at not to talk about it lol.


Don't Talk About It!!!


Increase our post count by telling people not to talk about it!
I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt. I mean not that fancy store bought dirt. That stuffs loaded with nutrients. I... I can't compete with that stuff.
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