Hey guys, I need your opinion on a girl issue. So I've been seeing this girl for about 4 months and I'm not certain if I should break up with her or not. I really care about her, but I get the feeling that she doesn't feel the same way about me. I try to be really nice and understanding, and on some days things seem to be going great, but then out of nowhere she'll get really grumpy and sad. We've broken up and gotten back together again at least 2 times. She will often say things that are very hurtful (so hurtful I don't feel comfortable mentioning them here) and has done very hurtful things (so hurtful I don't feel comfortable mentioning them here) to me in the past. Nevertheless, I am optimistic that things can work out. My friends think that I should break up with her but they don't see things from my perspective.

We are apart this summer and I plan on visiting her soon to see if I can set things right. Maybe I am just being irrational and lovesick.

Help me TL!

Poll: Should I fight it out?

No (134)

85%

Yes (18)

11%

Uncertain (6)

4%

158 total votes

Your vote: Should I fight it out?

(Vote): Yes
(Vote): No
(Vote): Uncertain

Pandain

United States12989 Posts

June 13 2011 00:52 GMT

Just ask her if she truly loves you.

And if she hesitates, you know what you should do.

-orb-

United States5770 Posts

June 13 2011 00:53 GMT

If you refuse to mention anything she's said or done how can we help with any kind of judgement at all?

turamn

United States1374 Posts

June 13 2011 00:54 GMT

If she's done things that are so hurtful that you won't speak of them, I think that the answer is pretty obvious. Not worth your time chief, kick her ass to the curb and find another one.

Of course your friends don't see things from your perspective, you want it to work, so it will always seem worth fighting through to you, but I would bet they have a more realistic grasp on the situation than you think.

Cauld

United States350 Posts

June 13 2011 00:55 GMT

I don't think you'd make this thread if you were confident you should stay with her.

n.DieJokes

United States3443 Posts

June 13 2011 00:55 GMT

On June 13 2011 09:52 Pandain wrote:
Just ask her if she truly loves you.

And if she hesitates, you know what you should do.

Might be a little early for that no? If you think she makes you happy even when she hurts you I don't see any reason to throw in the towel. Obviously I don't know enough about the situation to give any sort of specific advice but the do-what-makes-you-happy-o-meter is rarely wrong
Edit: LOL megalisk

Megaliskuu

United States5123 Posts

June 13 2011 00:56 GMT

Poll: What did his gf say?

Something about his Penis. (90)

58%

Something about his Penis. (27)

17%

Something about his Penis. (19)

12%

Something about his Penis. (11)

7%

Something about his Penis. (8)

5%

155 total votes

Your vote: What did his gf say?

(Vote): Something about his Penis.
(Vote): Something about his Penis.
(Vote): Something about his Penis.
(Vote): Something about his Penis.
(Vote): Something about his Penis.

But really just ditch her, clearly this is bothering you enough to make you post a blog here on TL, just dump her and move on.

a176

Canada6688 Posts

June 13 2011 00:59 GMT

How old are you ... ?

TadH

Canada1846 Posts

June 13 2011 00:59 GMT

Just straight up ask her about it man.

Xiron

Germany1233 Posts

June 13 2011 01:00 GMT

#10

'Break up with her - please do yourself the favor.' is what I would tell you if I was objective. What I really tell you is something Day9 always says - always believe that all people around you are awesome - and give her a chance.

Lebesgue

4542 Posts

June 13 2011 01:00 GMT

#11

Man, if she says and does things that are so hurtful to you that you don't want to mention them here then it seems like you shouldn't try any more...

RedJustice

United States1004 Posts

June 13 2011 01:02 GMT

#12

Four months and broken up twice, with things that you aren't comfortable saying? Unless you have a long history with this girl previously as friends or something, and there are extenuating circumstances (possibly related to her sudden sadness and grumpiness) in her life, it's not worth staying as a boyfriend (possibly it would work out as a friend). If you've known her for a long while and she has some hard things going on (drugs or alcoholism issues with family members/depression/idk what), then maybe it's worth sticking it out. Otherwise move on.

Hypertension

United States802 Posts

June 13 2011 01:04 GMT

#13

Keep track of the days when she is grumpy and sad... if they come once a month then it might just be her cycle. Overall, I would listen to your friends, it sounds like this girl is a little rough on you emotionally. Having a girlfriend should make you feel better and be stronger, not be a source of constant pain and anxiety.

Fr33t

United States1128 Posts

June 13 2011 01:04 GMT

#14

Get rid of her, you shouldn't have to settle for someone that doesn't give you the same care and respect that you give them. I don't care if its cheesy, whats the point of staying with some abusive bitch? Get rid of her

Herro_Korea

310 Posts

June 13 2011 01:05 GMT

#15

Don't break up with her unless she's a groupie wh*re or cheats on you with your dog.

arb

Noobville17921 Posts

June 13 2011 01:09 GMT

#16

Let me put this bluntly.
Yes.

Shes a fucking stupid bitch, if she says dumb shit about you and you just take it like a bitch and stay with her.
Fuck her find someone better than her stupid bitch ass.

Don't be her bitch any longer, find someone else.

mizU

United States12125 Posts

June 13 2011 01:12 GMT

#17

If you're not happy 90% of the time it's not worth it.

redFF

United States3910 Posts

June 13 2011 01:14 GMT

#18

If you like her and think she is worth the trouble then stick with it, if not, break it off. How hot is she? As that will likely influence any decision we as TL make for you greatly.

Tatari

United States1179 Posts

June 13 2011 01:15 GMT

#19

On June 13 2011 09:56 Megaliskuu wrote:

Poll: What did his gf say?

Something about his Penis. (90)

58%

Something about his Penis. (27)

17%

Something about his Penis. (19)

12%

Something about his Penis. (11)

7%

Something about his Penis. (8)

5%

155 total votes

Your vote: What did his gf say?

(Vote): Something about his Penis.
(Vote): Something about his Penis.
(Vote): Something about his Penis.
(Vote): Something about his Penis.
(Vote): Something about his Penis.

Damn you for making me laugh harder than I should. Damn you.

And to the OP, if you already broke up TWICE, why are you even with her despite knowing she's a very hurtful person?

Belano

Sweden657 Posts

June 13 2011 01:16 GMT

#20

On June 13 2011 10:09 arb wrote:
Let me put this bluntly.
Yes.

Shes a fucking stupid bitch, if she says dumb shit about you and you just take it like a bitch and stay with her.
Fuck her find someone better than her stupid bitch ass.

Don't be her bitch any longer, find someone else.

I was going to say something like this but you beat me to it.

Seriously though, if she treats you like this she simply doesn't respect you, and that's not going to work out. Dump her and move on.