• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 04:51
CEST 10:51
KST 17:51
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
[ASL22] Ro24 Preview: Siren's Call8[ASL22] Ro24 Preview: Summer's End9Serral wins HomeStory Cup 2915Serral wins Maestros of the Game 244ByuL, and the Limitations of Standard Play3
Community News
New 3v3 BGH Ladder (and more) on ShieldBattery!32Weekly Cups (August 17-23): Zerg dominate the week6Weekly Cups (August 10-16): SHIN doubles2GSTL Returns in 2026!45Weekly Cups (Aug 3-9): Protoss get shut out7
StarCraft 2
General
LipoLyx Plus (Official)™ My Real Results! Weekly Cups (August 17-23): Zerg dominate the week SC4ALL II: SC2 Player Announcement 6/8 - Maru Daily SC2 Player Grid - feedback wanted Balance hotfix patch 5.0.16b (July 16)
Tourneys
Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament 2026 GSTL Announcement IntoTheTV X SOOP SC2 League : Weekly & Monthly PIG STY FESTIVAL 8.0! (13 - 23 August) WORTEX 2026 - Hungarian SC2 Finals Budapest
Strategy
[G] Having the right mentality to improve
Custom Maps
Nexus Wars 2021 GUIDE [M] (2) Industrial Park
External Content
Mutation # 540 Dodge This The PondCast: SC2 News & Results Mutation # 539 Thunder Dome Mutation # 538 Media Blackout
Brood War
General
Pros React To: Calm's Big Brain Play Vs Mini [Personal Project Share] Terran Defense v0.60 !!!NEW BUG!!! FIRE ARCHONS [Visual] New 3v3 BGH Ladder (and more) on ShieldBattery! BW General Discussion
Tourneys
[ASL22] Ro24 Group F BSL LAN Party - Kraków 29-30 August - OPEN SIGNUPS [Megathread] Daily Proleagues Escore Tournament - Season 3
Strategy
Replay Review Process - What do you do? Game Theory for Starcraft Odyssey Mineral Stack Saturation Fighting Spirit mining rates
Other Games
General Games
Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread General RTS Discussion Thread Nintendo Switch Thread Anyone here play Quakeworld back in the day? EVE Corporation
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
[TL LoL EUW IHs] Teemo shall perish TSM pausing esports and CLG Dead
Heroes of the Storm
Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug
TL Mafia
TL Mafia Power Rank TL Mafia Community Thread NeO.D_StephenKing vs This Guy From 1 Million Dance
Community
General
Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine US Politics Mega-thread Russo-Ukrainian War Thread Artificial Intelligence Thread Canadian Politics Mega-thread
Fan Clubs
MarineLorD Fan Club The Creator Fan Club The ShoWTimE Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
Movie Discussion! Anime Discussion Thread
Sports
Football (Soccer) Thread TeamLiquid Health and Fitness Initiative For 2023 MLB/Baseball 2023 NBA General Discussion
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread
TL Community
The Automated Ban List Northern Ireland Global Starcraft
Blogs
Violent Games and Crime Rate…
TrAiDoS
LOCKPICKING NOOB
LUCKY_NOOB
Cathedral Of CS And NY pizza a…
FuDDx
Please support my new stand…
Peanutsc
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 7292 users

Just another day at the Blizzard office

Blogs > Arcanefrost
Post a Reply
1 2 3 Next All
Arcanefrost
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Belgium1257 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-24 15:33:36
July 24 2011 12:49 GMT
#1
"I would like to conclude my presentation by stating that it would be a wise decision to remove rocks from the game." A terrible silence captured the room. David Kim wasn't an easy man to scare, but after saying those words he was frightened.

Not too long ago the Taiwanese player Sen sat in this very room, and dared to opposse Dustin Browder by saying close positions are imbalanced. The next day he lost in the NASL. Some say it was the voodoo priest Browder visited the night before. Others say Browder did a ritual dance with Navajo indians ( naked, but no one was eager to imagine that so it was often left out). Perhaps it was the bloody sacrifice of a goat by a notorious Haitian shaman that cursed Sen. One thing the stories had in common: Dustin Browder. That part must be true.

The silence seemed eternal, until somebody started clapping. David looked up slowly, and too his surprise it was Browder himself. A feeling of relief went away as quick as it came, when he suddenly realized the sound produced by the joining of hands told the careful listener that it meant "I will destroy you", more than "Good job". The others followed Dustin's example and started clapping as well.

David was Korean, and Koreans are fast, but no one can escape the mad rage of an American with a gun. He didn't actually know whether Dustin owned a gun, but he knew it was safer to presume every American had at least three of them.

"What a wonderful presentation Mr. Kim". The words rolled of his tongue in the same fashion a genuine compliment would, but the vague smile revealed his true intentions. The others saw it too, but no one dared to raise their voices.
David didn't blame them, the fear made him sweat, and he noticed drops of water running down Matt Cooper's forehead too. The brave man almost spoke up, but his open mouth failed to produce any words.

"Splendid, absolutely splenid", Dustin said with the same vicious smile on his face.
Don't you agree, Matt?", Dustin asked suddenly, while turning his head toward the poor designer.
"Your words described it as best as any words could", he said rather nervously.

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Dustin's roaring laughter went through flesh and bone.
Browder had trouble recapturing his breath after his sudden explosion of laughter. He stood up and faced his employees.
"I disagree", the words were cold as ice. "You can never have enough rocks".
The others nodded.

"We all had a good laugh, but it's time to work seriously again David. I would like your opinion on the new maps. We can only add one more and I really like the one with the 3 ramps to the natural, and rocks at every possible expansion. But that would mean sacrificing the one with dragons in the background, and dragons are the coolest thing ever. The dragon map also has more rocks, can you see the dilemma, David?", Dustin asked.

David was speechless for a brief moment, and then he pronounced the very safe and calculated words "We can just add more rocks to the first map, and add dragons in the background. We could even have a dragon sitting on every rock, to attack players who try to break them down."

Browder smiled, this time the smile was a sincere one. "It's good to have you back, David".

David's relief made him laugh. "That wasn't too bad", he thought.

The next day David Kim had a 119 game long losing streak, and dropped all the way to the bronze league. For 118 consecutive games he had to play Tasteless. He lost them all. After every game Tasteless couldn't help himself and made jokes about stealing ladder points from nerds. After 118 games David didn't have any points to steal left. Tasteless logged off in disappointment.

David decided to play one more to get his points back. However he lost game 119 to the bronze league player "Mr.Bunnypants", who caught him off guard with a 10 minute 3 roach timing attack.

That same day Browder was looking with unreal pleasure at the biggest rock covering the gold base, with of course the biggest dragon defending it, and whispered: "My precious."
Valor is a poor substitute for numbers.
fearlessparagon
Profile Joined November 2010
United States104 Posts
July 24 2011 12:53 GMT
#2
You should save this for your novel.
Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win
PassiveAce
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United States18076 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-24 12:58:13
July 24 2011 12:56 GMT
#3
I'm not sure exactly what this is but it made me laugh. should probably be in blogs though. i went to rate this blog and realized it was in sc2 general lol
Call me Marge Simpson cuz I love you homie
DisaFear
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Australia4074 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-24 13:01:46
July 24 2011 12:56 GMT
#4
On July 24 2011 21:53 fearlessparagon wrote:
You should save this for your novel.

Yes
Starcraft: Return of the Xelnaga Part 3 - Revenge of the Geodudes

Is dayvie, the player on ladder, David Kim?
How devious | http://anartisticanswer.blogspot.com.au/
PassiveAce
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United States18076 Posts
July 24 2011 12:58 GMT
#5
On July 24 2011 21:56 DisaFear wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 24 2011 21:53 fearlessparagon wrote:
You should save this for your novel.

Yes
Starcraft: Return of the Xelnaga Part 3

Is dayvie, the player on ladder, David Kim?

Yes
Call me Marge Simpson cuz I love you homie
GenesisX
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada4267 Posts
July 24 2011 12:58 GMT
#6
omfg rofl
133 221 333 123 111
UnitedKronos
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
139 Posts
July 24 2011 13:00 GMT
#7
That was really funny!! Well done.
Oh hai. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
DisaFear
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Australia4074 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-24 13:01:27
July 24 2011 13:00 GMT
#8
Edit: mispost
How devious | http://anartisticanswer.blogspot.com.au/
Kurumi
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Poland6130 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-24 13:01:45
July 24 2011 13:01 GMT
#9
Mr.Bunnypants is Rank #34 Master League in my Division, such lies! You can't say Dustin is a bad player or he wants to make SC2 bad!
I liked it. Pretty refreshing.
I work alone. // Visit TL Mafia subforum!
Mwentworth56
Profile Joined January 2011
146 Posts
July 24 2011 13:03 GMT
#10
This was hilarious! thanks for the good read man! : )
vizir
Profile Joined August 2010
Finland154 Posts
July 24 2011 13:05 GMT
#11
Wow nice :D Write a book or two imo.
skirmisheR
Profile Joined August 2010
Sweden451 Posts
July 24 2011 13:05 GMT
#12
This is hilarious, thanks for posting! :D
I can jungle Pudge, can you?
brachester
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Australia1786 Posts
July 24 2011 13:06 GMT
#13
hahaha, lol, good job man, when i read the title, i thought this is going to be a blizzard workplace video tour
I hate all this singing
EdSlyB
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Portugal1621 Posts
July 24 2011 13:07 GMT
#14
Move to blog. Good reading tho. ^^
aka Wardo
TCP
Profile Joined April 2011
Germany13 Posts
July 24 2011 13:10 GMT
#15
Please someone make a map with dragoons on every rock :D
Vaelone
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Finland4400 Posts
July 24 2011 13:10 GMT
#16
I loved the last sentence, good read!

Don't give them ideas though. :s
TelecoM
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United States10834 Posts
July 24 2011 13:11 GMT
#17
Someone finally took the thoughts out of my head and made a thread about it. GJ =)
AKA: TelecoM[WHITE] Protoss fighting
bjornkavist
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
Canada1235 Posts
July 24 2011 13:14 GMT
#18
Wow this was one of the funniest posts I've read in a long time! Kudos to you OP!
https://soundcloud.com/bbols
Mawi
Profile Joined August 2010
Sweden4365 Posts
July 24 2011 13:17 GMT
#19
Wow this was awesome hahaha Dragons on every rock would bring so many OP threads in offical sc2 forums
Forever Mirin Zyzz Son of Zeus Brother of Hercules Father of the Aesthetics
FeyFey
Profile Joined September 2010
Germany10114 Posts
July 24 2011 13:17 GMT
#20
rocks aren't annoying, rock fanboys are annoying that dedicate threads to their almighty rocks. Well i did expect less when i saw the topic, so i was nevertheless pleasantly suprised. good writing skills for a forum
1 2 3 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
Next event in 2h 9m
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft: Brood War
actioN 301
Killer 185
Leta 92
Bale 44
ZergMaN 40
Shine 35
Sharp 31
NaDa 16
HiyA 13
SilentControl 11
[ Show more ]
NotJumperer 7
Dota 2
XcaliburYe295
League of Legends
JimRising 536
Counter-Strike
edward214
Super Smash Bros
hungrybox566
Other Games
gofns18811
B2W.Neo932
Happy261
C9.Mang0197
Organizations
Other Games
gamesdonequick1450
[ Show 12 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• Berry_CruncH358
• StrangeGG 73
• Adnapsc2 7
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• Migwel
StarCraft: Brood War
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
League of Legends
• Jankos1153
Upcoming Events
GSL
2h 9m
AI Arena Tournament
8h 9m
Replay Cast
15h 9m
WardiTV Weekly
1d 2h
Sparkling Tuna Cup
2 days
Afreeca Starleague
2 days
GSL
3 days
PiGosaur Cup
3 days
Replay Cast
4 days
The PondCast
5 days
[ Show More ]
IntoTheTV X SOOP
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Proleague 2026-08-27
PiG Sty Festival 8.0
Light Tournament 2026

Ongoing

KCM Race Survival 2026 Season 3
K-JUNGMAN
ASL Season 22
Super Anchor Qualifying S3
CSL Season 22: Qualifier 2
BSL 2026 LAN: Kraków
RSL Revival: Season 6
Big Dog Cup 2026 Div 1
BLAST Open Fall 2026
Esports World Cup 2026
Esports World Cup 2026: LCQ
BLAST Bounty Summer 2026
BLAST Bounty Summer Qual
Stake Ranked Episode 3
XSE Pro League 2026
IEM Cologne Major 2026

Upcoming

CSL 2026 AUTUMN (S22)
Escore Tournament S3: King of Kings
Acropolis #5
Acropolis #5 - TRS
Blizzard Classic Cup 2026
Acropolis #5 - GSA
Acropolis #5 - GSB
HSC XXX
SC4ALL II: StarCraft II
Kung Fu Cup 2026 Grand Finals
RSL Offline Finals
Calamity Invitational
BLAST Rivals Fall 2026
IEM Beijing 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 5
PGL Masters Bucharest 2026
1win Private Club #2
Thunderpick World Champ. '26
ESL Pro League Season 24
Stake Ranked Episode 4
1win Private Club #1
Logitech G Play Connect 2026
SL StarSeries Fall 2026
FISSURE Playground #3
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.