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Moms Playing Starcraft? Preposterous!

Blogs > clever_us
Post a Reply
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Next All
clever_us
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States329 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-07 17:43:15
July 04 2011 01:03 GMT
#1
[image loading]

Edit: ZOMG spotlighted! Thanks TL higher-up people! <3 <3

Last week I was at a family reunion with everyone on my mom's side. Being the tremendous Starcraft II nerds we are, my brother and I took this opportunity to draw our cousins into this most engrossing of game titles ^^

Of course, we got a lot of complaints from the stodgy adults, who wanted us to spend time "outdoors," as stodgy adults are wont to want (we were at a lakehouse in Pennsylvania somewhere).

Don't get me wrong: I enjoy canoeing and Ultimate Frisbee and so on. However, I thought it was unfair that people like my mother could expect us to spend all our time on their favorite activities while turning up their noses at mine.

So I got my mom and my aunt to agree to a best-of-one Starcraft II grudge match.

The following pair of ten-minute videos tells the story of this epic, ground-shaking game.

After all, if Day[9]'s Funday Mondays have taught us anything, it is that hardly anything is more fun than watching jaw-droppingly horrible people play Starcraft II. And no one -- NO ONE -- is worse at video games than my mother.

She went into this game with NO prior computer game experience, let alone Starcraft experience. Same deal for my aunt. They had no inkling of strategy, no mouse precision to speak of -- not even an idea of their objective in the game! Without someone to help them along, they probably would have taken an hour to send their drones to mine.

With this in mind, my brother and I consented to allow our cousins to lend their 5 days of Starcraft II knowledge to the combatants. What ensued was either a wildly hilarious or an excruciatingly agonizing 25 Blizzard minutes of Terran vs Terran, depending on how you look at it.

Part One:


Part Two:



Parts of the videos are a bit dry, but if you stick around long enough to catch the climactic battle at the 15 minute mark (Blizzard Time), you will be glad you did.

This is the face of true noobery. Think of it as an experiment in terrible, terrible Starcraft II play. Not to mention terrible advice from coaches with only the flimsiest of comprehension when it comes to this beautiful, enigmatic E-Sport. I thought that by sharing this video, I might be able to remind us just how hard a game Starcraft II really is. There's a lot of talk going around about it being easy, especially compared to Brood War, but for people like my cousins and my mother, it might as well be quantum physics.

So even if you're in the bottom of the bronze league, you may take solace in the following fact: you could kick my mom's ass any day of the week. Hell, YOUR mom could probably kick my mom's ass. The very easy AI could beat her with half its transistors tied behind its back.

Chin up, Nooby Tuesday participants. Starcraft II is a hard game. I promise.

Anyway, love you guys. <3 <3 <3

+ Show Spoiler +
For those wondering about the dedication in the second video: My brother and I - our proudest moment! [image loading]


****
glhf <3
Misanthrope
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States924 Posts
July 04 2011 01:07 GMT
#2
Get Totalbiscuit in on this and you have a #winning product.
Resolve to perform what you ought. Perform without fail what you resolve. - Benjamin Franklin
BabyToss!
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Czech Republic588 Posts
July 04 2011 01:11 GMT
#3
Hahahaha, hilarious! Being SC2 playing mom myself, I find this so hilarious! thank you for sharing. Cracking myself up. x)
Nowadays a Filthy Casual | Follow your dreams |
stahlvogel
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
United States10 Posts
July 04 2011 01:17 GMT
#4
she's a total MILP
Here's to the finest crew in Starfleet... ENGAGE!
tests
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States160 Posts
July 04 2011 01:24 GMT
#5
Lol....and I thought watching my cousin (10 year old) play for the first time was bad. Good times.
Time is money my friend.
Limelights
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
United States219 Posts
July 04 2011 01:39 GMT
#6
Your cousin calling Thors "Trons' reminds me of myself back when I used to call Super Smash Bros. Melee "Super Smash Brothers Melanme". Yep, quite embarrasing but w/e I was 9.
Torte de Lini
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Germany38463 Posts
July 04 2011 01:44 GMT
#7
LOOOOOOOOOOOOL

So good! My father loves RTS games but, for the life of him, can't play at all and I will never teach him (He bought AOE2 and just enjoys watching us play).

Hilarious video yet at the same time... a bit frustrating for me haha!
I had my own mother play video-games once, we played Mario Kart Double-Dash and she was the only person somehow to manage to make the Mushroom boost item to go backwards.

Never again, never again...
https://twitter.com/#!/TorteDeLini (@TorteDeLini)
KinosJourney2
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Sweden1811 Posts
July 04 2011 01:45 GMT
#8
On July 04 2011 10:17 stahlvogel wrote:
she's a total MILP


Hahahaha! Good one! :D
ocho wrote: EDIT: NEVERMIND, THIS THING HAS APM TECHNOLOGY OMG
Tegin
Profile Joined November 2010
United States840 Posts
July 04 2011 01:59 GMT
#9
On July 04 2011 10:17 stahlvogel wrote:
she's a total MILP

Spilled my water laughing so hard lol
Pain is weakness leaving the body.
Trowabarton756
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
United States870 Posts
July 04 2011 02:02 GMT
#10
lol...my mom just straight up admits that 99% of games are too hard for her to understand, shes so 1 dimensional. The line is Scrabble and some card games haha, the only things she wins . Though in her defense I play a lot of intense games that require a lot of knowledge of rules.(Magic, DBZ TCg, Hakusho TCG, Starcraft 1, Starcraft 2, Super Smash Bros). Its cool to see some of the older generations at least attempting it.
http://www.teamliquid.net/video/streams/Trowabarton756
MaxField
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States2386 Posts
July 04 2011 02:04 GMT
#11
On July 04 2011 10:59 Tegin wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 04 2011 10:17 stahlvogel wrote:
she's a total MILP

Spilled my water laughing so hard lol

it is rare i find a post as good as this. Great work my friend
"Zerg, so bad it loses to hydras" IdrA.
3clipse
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
Canada2555 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-04 02:16:21
July 04 2011 02:15 GMT
#12
Wow. My ex was comparatively good at sc2 when I got her to play her first and only game.
clever_us
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States329 Posts
July 04 2011 02:49 GMT
#13
thx for the positive feedback guys :D
glhf <3
OpticalShot
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Canada6330 Posts
July 04 2011 02:56 GMT
#14
Not entirely sure whether you and your cousin are the pioneers of getting mothers involved in SC2 grudge matches, but (if I could) I'd give both of you e-sports medals. Good job and thank you for sharing!

Also,
On July 04 2011 10:17 stahlvogel wrote:
she's a total MILP

[TLMS] REBOOT
BabyToss!
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Czech Republic588 Posts
July 04 2011 03:01 GMT
#15
Well, rewatching it, my 7-years old son would beat both of them.. :D
But, still, so hilarious, makes for some good laughs.
Nowadays a Filthy Casual | Follow your dreams |
SecondChance
Profile Joined December 2010
Australia603 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-04 03:16:48
July 04 2011 03:12 GMT
#16
lols.

Such a hard game to teach parents.

Btw, your links seem to be broken.

I think these are the correct links

Part 1:


Part One: http://youtube.com/watch?v=LmLAAdAQTv8

Part Two: http://youtube.com/watch?v=qrzg5c7GA8U
I see the want to in your eyes.
LuckyFool
Profile Blog Joined June 2007
United States9015 Posts
July 04 2011 03:20 GMT
#17
rofl it's such a challenge just getting the scvs to mine... LOL :D
101toss
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
3232 Posts
July 04 2011 03:23 GMT
#18
I remember at a LAN party when someone 6pooled; only problem was that the person built 6 pools
Math doesn't kill champions and neither do wards
tw!tch
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States563 Posts
July 04 2011 03:35 GMT
#19
HAHAHAHA this is awesome man, great vidoes/blog! took a bit of time to get them to learn but I think they ended up doing fine ^^ 11 gas all day baby
clever_us
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States329 Posts
July 04 2011 03:37 GMT
#20
On July 04 2011 12:12 SecondChance wrote:
lols.

Such a hard game to teach parents.

Btw, your links seem to be broken.

I think these are the correct links

Part 1:


Part One: http://youtube.com/watch?v=LmLAAdAQTv8

Part Two: http://youtube.com/watch?v=qrzg5c7GA8U



ooh thanks you're the man. i was wondering why this didn't show up
glhf <3
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