So, I've been a pack-a-day smoker for the past four years. But after my father died in February, I told myself that I'd quit by the end of this year. He smoked all his life and even though he made it to the age of seventy one, he was covered with cancer in every inch of body. I didn't want to turn out like that, so I quit smoking the week before last.
I felt awful. Absolutely fucking awful. I couldn't concentrate on anything, I felt like I was going crazy. I had severe bloating and gas, I couldn't sleep (over the course of two days, I slept for about four hours), I felt like I was short of breath all the time, my heart would accelerate when I wasn't even doing anything except sitting at the computer.
I thought I was going through nicotine withdrawals and I told myself "I'll have one more pack just to enjoy now that I know what's going to be ahead of me when I quit."
So this past weekend, I drank and smoked with my friends. Caught up with them, had a great time. Then on Monday morning, I planned on quitting everything. The drinking, the smoking, the poor diet, I was ready to turn it all around.
But when I woke up on Monday, my chest hurt. It hurt so bad. I stood up and moved around and came to conclusion that it was some sort of muscle pain. It only hurt when I moved certain ways, but didn't hurt when I took a deep breath or anything. But I was still bloated and full of gas. This was strange to me. I thought since I had smoked, the nicotine would get rid of all those symptoms. Guess not.
So anyways, I sort of drag around all day with the chest pain and the bloating but then I just kept getting increasingly worried. The next day (which was on Tuesday), I asked my mom take me to the emergency room. The doctor barely looked at me and told me it was acid reflux and the nurse was ready to hand me the discharge papers when she asked "Are you happy with the diagnosis? Any questions?"
I don't know what it was about that question, but suddenly the realization that my father died, my mother went through chemo for breast cancer, that I was having all these strange symptoms, that I had been abusing my body for the past four years with cigarette smoking and drinking, all of it just hit me at once and I just broke down and started BAWLING and DEMANDED that I be given a chest x-ray because I was convinced I had cancer.
The nurse was completely speechless at my turn of behavior, suddenly I was sobbing and screaming. So her and my mom both tried to calm me down and the doctor gave me an x-ray.
Then he told me my lungs looked fine and put me on Xanax.
Pretty harsh man, I'd skip the xanax though, you shouldn't switch one addiction to another. It's hard to make a lifestyle change. Keep it up and it'll pay off in the end.
Jeez... shit sucks, man. I don't think you're crazy, if thats any consolation. It just sounds like you've had some of the worst 4 months ever.
Keep at it though. If you're not sick, you're not sick... and from a health perspective, the fact that the withdrawl is so bad is actually a good sign - that your body is rapidly readjusting.
Maybe it's not the best time to quit though... your father's death clearly affected you big... Fair enough, but I guess maybe you should take it easy if you feel like it's too much.
If there is someone or some organization out there to help people deal with quitting smoking, then it possibly is time to find that help. And you might want to talk in RL (if you hadn't before) about all this. It'll make ya feel better.
Hey guys, just don't want to give you the wrong idea about the Xanax. I've had it (along with my acid reflux pills) since Tuesday and I've had precisely half of one pill. Only half. It knocked me out for eight hours and I woke up feeling groggy and disoriented. I have not been sleeping well, but I felt like they were too strong for me, so I just put them aside for now.
The reflux pills don't seem to be doing anything. The pain is my chest is mostly gone, but I don't think it was ever because of acid reflux. I don't even think I actually have acid reflux. In my anxiety-ridden, paranoid, nicotine-deprived mind, I have some form of cancer. Maybe it wasn't in my lungs, but it could be in my stomach and no one wants to believe it since I'm only 22, but I know it's there.
I know it's just because of my dad. We discovered he had cancer in every part of his body and it wasn't detected until two days before he died. That's stuck in my head and making my paranoid. It's all in my head.
All of this is in my head. I know that in reality, I'm fine and I'm just experiencing bloating and gas as a result of the nicotine withdrawal. The smoking boosted my metabolism, acted as a laxative, and all of this other shit and now it's gone and my bowels are adjusting. I know that's what it is. But I'm so scared and frightened and paranoid and it's completely unmanageable for me.
On May 05 2011 20:13 pubbanana wrote: Hey guys, just don't want to give you the wrong idea about the Xanax. I've had it (along with my acid reflux pills) since Tuesday and I've had precisely half of one pill. Only half. It knocked me out for eight hours and I woke up feeling groggy and disoriented. I have not been sleeping well, but I felt like they were too strong for me, so I just put them aside for now.
The reflux pills don't seem to be doing anything. The pain is my chest is mostly gone, but I don't think it was ever because of acid reflux. I don't even think I actually have acid reflux. In my anxiety-ridden, paranoid, nicotine-deprived mind, I have some form of cancer. Maybe it wasn't in my lungs, but it could be in my stomach and no one wants to believe it since I'm only 22, but I know it's there.
I know it's just because of my dad. We discovered he had cancer in every part of his body and it wasn't detected until two days before he died. That's stuck in my head and making my paranoid. It's all in my head.
All of this is in my head. I know that in reality, I'm fine and I'm just experiencing bloating and gas as a result of the nicotine withdrawal. The smoking boosted my metabolism, acted as a laxative, and all of this other shit and now it's gone and my bowels are adjusting. I know that's what it is. But I'm so scared and frightened and paranoid and it's completely unmanageable for me.
I really don't know what to do.
Is there other shit going on in you life or are you in a stable place other than the smoking and your dad? If you feel like you need to talk to someone (which it seems like you do), then there are people who are experts in helping you manage stuff like this, go see a counselor.
Hey man, we've got your back. Now it may sound strange that people on the other side of the world, who you've never seen or talked to have got your back and are supporting you, but it's ture, so you can (payment optional ^^ ) vent here.
You sound really down and stressed, which is exactly how I am too H-5 ! I'm in the middle of my final high-school exams, which will dictate where I go for college, most painful time of my life, no joke. Then again that sounds pretty small compared to worries from all sides about CANCER :S
But stick with it man! If you need some motivation or whatnont here's what has been getting me through my tough time:
No Troll. Litterally where-ever I go and whenever I study I have this on repeat, and I just keep telling myself Imma go home and be a family man, for AMERICA! that I can do it. Really, you feel like SUCH a boss when you're doing something difficult, and this is playing. Another thing I stumbled upon in my music while I was sick of Guile's Theme for a bit was:
From what I understand, it's basically like you're smoking water. You get the same satisfaction that you'd normally get, but without all the chemicals. There's a bunch more information on the website too if you want to read up on it.
It's sad to see you with such health troubles. When I came here, you were (and still are) basically an icon for BW knowledge. Might sound very basic, but have you tried running / cycling? Work yourself into proper sweat? I think it compensates for some of the effects. Then again, you say that even sitting still makes your heart race.
On May 05 2011 20:13 pubbanana wrote: Hey guys, just don't want to give you the wrong idea about the Xanax. I've had it (along with my acid reflux pills) since Tuesday and I've had precisely half of one pill. Only half. It knocked me out for eight hours and I woke up feeling groggy and disoriented. I have not been sleeping well, but I felt like they were too strong for me, so I just put them aside for now.
The reflux pills don't seem to be doing anything. The pain is my chest is mostly gone, but I don't think it was ever because of acid reflux. I don't even think I actually have acid reflux. In my anxiety-ridden, paranoid, nicotine-deprived mind, I have some form of cancer. Maybe it wasn't in my lungs, but it could be in my stomach and no one wants to believe it since I'm only 22, but I know it's there.
I know it's just because of my dad. We discovered he had cancer in every part of his body and it wasn't detected until two days before he died. That's stuck in my head and making my paranoid. It's all in my head.
All of this is in my head. I know that in reality, I'm fine and I'm just experiencing bloating and gas as a result of the nicotine withdrawal. The smoking boosted my metabolism, acted as a laxative, and all of this other shit and now it's gone and my bowels are adjusting. I know that's what it is. But I'm so scared and frightened and paranoid and it's completely unmanageable for me.
I really don't know what to do.
Is there other shit going on in you life or are you in a stable place other than the smoking and your dad? If you feel like you need to talk to someone (which it seems like you do), then there are people who are experts in helping you manage stuff like this, go see a counselor.
That's a completely reasonable question and I wish I could tell you otherwise, but the fact is ... no. There is nothing stressful about my life. I took a year off school and moved back in to my parent's house after my dad died because my mother didn't want to live alone for the first time in her life. I don't work, I don't go to school, I just cook sometimes and tidy up the house. I have held everything in for so long and I haven't sought a counselor even though I needed to.
When you freak out so badly in a doctor's office that he prescribes you Xanax, yeah, you probably need some counseling, not arguing with you there.
On May 05 2011 20:39 bITt.mAN wrote: Hey man, we've got your back. Now it may sound strange that people on the other side of the world, who you've never seen or talked to have got your back and are supporting you, but it's ture, so you can (payment optional ^^ ) vent here.
You sound really down and stressed, which is exactly how I am too H-5 ! I'm in the middle of my final high-school exams, which will dictate where I go for college, most painful time of my life, no joke. Then again that sounds pretty small compared to worries from all sides about CANCER :S
But stick with it man! If you need some motivation or whatnont here's what has been getting me through my tough time:
No Troll. Litterally where-ever I go and whenever I study I have this on repeat, and I just keep telling myself Imma go home and be a family man, for AMERICA! that I can do it. Really, you feel like SUCH a boss when you're doing something difficult, and this is playing. Another thing I stumbled upon in my music while I was sick of Guile's Theme for a bit was:
Keep with it man, and if there's anything else you need to get off your chest, nerds from around the world are prepared!
Thanks, man ... I've always admired Switzerland. I wouldn't worry as much if I lived there with your free healthcare and fresh, local food and reliable public transportation.
From what I understand, it's basically like you're smoking water. You get the same satisfaction that you'd normally get, but without all the chemicals. There's a bunch more information on the website too if you want to read up on it.
This has been brought to my attention a few times and I just don't see the appeal of it. For me, the smoking was more of a little treat to look forward to when no one was around. I kept it a secret from my family and most of my friends for a long, long time. Sneaking out to smoke, the ritual of that, is what kept me hooked. Then after my dad died, I just increased the amount of smoking, but still kept my little ritual of smoking in secret. Plus it made me feel really good. So, I don't think puffing on that thing would help me at all.
From what I understand, it's basically like you're smoking water. You get the same satisfaction that you'd normally get, but without all the chemicals. There's a bunch more information on the website too if you want to read up on it.
e-cigs are not very good. its not the same "satisfaction" in the slightest.
On May 05 2011 20:57 Aesop wrote: It's sad to see you with such health troubles. When I came here, you were (and still are) basically an icon for BW knowledge. Might sound very basic, but have you tried running / cycling? Work yourself into proper sweat? I think it compensates for some of the effects. Then again, you say that even sitting still makes your heart race.
Best of luck!
The accelerated heart beat is a symptom of nicotine withdrawal, it comes and goes and I haven't experienced it for a while, but I definitely plan on exercising once all of this shit stops.
And thank you so much, I feel like no one remembers me here since it's been so long.
On May 05 2011 20:13 pubbanana wrote: Hey guys, just don't want to give you the wrong idea about the Xanax. I've had it (along with my acid reflux pills) since Tuesday and I've had precisely half of one pill. Only half. It knocked me out for eight hours and I woke up feeling groggy and disoriented. I have not been sleeping well, but I felt like they were too strong for me, so I just put them aside for now.
The reflux pills don't seem to be doing anything. The pain is my chest is mostly gone, but I don't think it was ever because of acid reflux. I don't even think I actually have acid reflux. In my anxiety-ridden, paranoid, nicotine-deprived mind, I have some form of cancer. Maybe it wasn't in my lungs, but it could be in my stomach and no one wants to believe it since I'm only 22, but I know it's there.
I know it's just because of my dad. We discovered he had cancer in every part of his body and it wasn't detected until two days before he died. That's stuck in my head and making my paranoid. It's all in my head.
All of this is in my head. I know that in reality, I'm fine and I'm just experiencing bloating and gas as a result of the nicotine withdrawal. The smoking boosted my metabolism, acted as a laxative, and all of this other shit and now it's gone and my bowels are adjusting. I know that's what it is. But I'm so scared and frightened and paranoid and it's completely unmanageable for me.
I really don't know what to do.
Is there other shit going on in you life or are you in a stable place other than the smoking and your dad? If you feel like you need to talk to someone (which it seems like you do), then there are people who are experts in helping you manage stuff like this, go see a counselor.
That's a completely reasonable question and I wish I could tell you otherwise, but the fact is ... no. There is nothing stressful about my life. I took a year off school and moved back in to my parent's house after my dad died because my mother didn't want to live alone for the first time in her life. I don't work, I don't go to school, I just cook sometimes and tidy up the house. I have held everything in for so long and I haven't sought a counselor even though I needed to.
When you freak out so badly in a doctor's office that he prescribes you Xanax, yeah, you probably need some counseling, not arguing with you there.
Maybe thats part of the problem, just sitting at home stewing and thinking about this kind of stuff is not necessarily an ideal situation. Currently I'm actually in similar situation (barring family death) and I feel terrible just because I need to be doing SOMETHING. Humans have a drive to master skills and improve their situation, thats why RPG's are so addicting. You should consider finding some sort of job/sport or hobby you enjoy to help you focus on moving foreward in your life.
Especially with trying to quit smoking you've gotta get something to concentrate on. Its like not eating for 3 days and then just sitting in a room staring at a piece of cake you're not allowed to eat. Its gonna be a lot easier to avoid eating the cake if you spend the day out rock climbing or learning how to play the guitar.
Going to just post this coming from a fellow smoker who actually oddly share the same symptoms. And just this december I was convinced something was wrong with my stomach I got an endoscopy done (I have the CD if I ever get bored and feel like watching my insides for a bit) and the doctor pretty much told me the exact thing.
Being a pack a day smoker just means you've probably destroyed your little flap thing that helps keep bile and all that awesome food down. Just try to cut it before you get to the stage where eating all the food you love becomes hard. Sometimes I can't keep down kebabs and certain foods - its not really fun acting like a bird regurgitating your food you just ate.
Oh to make you feel better I guess? I also have failed like you but it seems like you went waaaay longer than I ever have so I'd say best bet is trying your best to go on that long streak and keep at it. Tell your friends to actually help you quit im sure your friends would love tormenting you keeping your cigs away from you when you hang out with em. As for the problems - the pain, the bloating its all going to stay and only get worse if you keep smoking :|
On May 05 2011 21:51 Cite wrote: Going to just post this coming from a fellow smoker who actually oddly share the same symptoms. And just this december I was convinced something was wrong with my stomach I got an endoscopy done (I have the CD if I ever get bored and feel like watching my insides for a bit) and the doctor pretty much told me the exact thing.
Being a pack a day smoker just means you've probably destroyed your little flap thing that helps keep bile and all that awesome food down. Just try to cut it before you get to the stage where eating all the food you love becomes hard. Sometimes I can't keep down kebabs and certain foods - its not really fun acting like a bird regurgitating your food you just ate.
Oh to make you feel better I guess? I also have failed like you but it seems like you went waaaay longer than I ever have so I'd say best bet is trying your best to go on that long streak and keep at it. Tell your friends to actually help you quit im sure your friends would love tormenting you keeping your cigs away from you when you hang out with em. As for the problems - the pain, the bloating its all going to stay and only get worse if you keep smoking :|
Surely only four years wouldn't have destroyed anything, would it? Both of my parents have smoked their whole lives, my father died at seventy one and my mother is sixty two and I don't ever remember them having any trouble swallowing anything.
I'm no doctor but theres a good chance the reflux could have been from drinking too much alcohol over the weekend , alcohol is notoriously bad for causing reflux , also if you sit up rather than lie down that helps with the reflux , try putting a few extra pillows and raising the top half of your body in relation to your legs when you sleep.Usually it is something that will take care of itself within a few days if you do the right lifestyle habits.
EPT
