Teamliquid - a massive building

The summer vacation started. Having some free time before I have to start projects for the fall, I decided to visit TeamLiquid Headquarters.
After a short trip I came to the destination and was amazed of the blue tower beauty.
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Not hesitating for long, I entered the building only to get stopped at the second door. Some guy gave me a short form where I had to pick a name for myself and enter some personal data.
After filling the paper i gave it back and the man who gave it to me smiled politely and said "you have to wait 7 minutes, then you can look around".
This was kind of awkward, but as several other people where waiting in the line also, it made me feel less unpleasantly.
Three minutes after, the guy who gave me registration form started shouting at the guy in front.

bot: "You are going to the dungeon"
random guy in the line: "Hey, what the fuck, why?"
bot: "I have my reasons"

That was very weird. I didn't know the reason why they took him away or why, but it made me feel less patient. Four minutes after, I was in the lobby.

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The first thing that crossed my mind was, this place is so crowded. So many different people in this floor. The lobby looked like a cross between a McDonalds/Starbucks shop and an auto show with a lot of geeks and nerds.
Over analyzing, I moved to the first area.I head so many voices, bad english accents and retarded ideas.

nerd: "Hey, can collosus get a dick so when the shields go down and you hit him, it leaks oil?"
nerd2: "No way. But we could add a flamethrower to the Thor"
nerd: "That would make it unbalanced, what would counter it?"
nerd2: "Ultras only"
nerd: "Wow, that is a great idea"
nerd3: "We can copy paste the hellion animation, but make it green"
nerd2: "Forget my idea. I can tell it's not going to work. It needs more damage"

"What a bunch of crap" I whispered. The standard 16 year old starcraft 2 theory craft booth is filled with kids and ideas. To skip the balance discussion I walked to the other side of the room.

nerd: "Flash is bonjwa"
nerd2: "No he is not. He is not, will never be, and never was. SaviOr was the last bonjwa. He was so good they had to lock him up. he's innocent"
nerd3: "No fucking was, Fantasy has better builds, Jaedong can micro two control groups of mutalisk at the same time, and Bisu is cute"
nerd4: "Look at the latest KeSPA rating, you can tell that Flash is bonjwa"
nerd2: "KeSPA is bullshit. Do you know what they did to GoRush?"
nerd5: "What happened?"
nerd2: "The typed GG the wrong way, and they took him out!"
nerd3: "Who cares, Idra can beat GoRush!"
....
nerd215: "I didn't take the time to read the thread, but Flash is bonwja"
nerd119: "No he's not, By.Baby is the new bonwja"
PokeBunny: "I like turtles"

Ah. The new SC:BW players make me feel old. Same old threads with different characters. I noticed that his booth is by far smaller then the previous one, and the Strategic SC2 booth if crawling with people with "new" ideas.
In the middle of the room there are a few people arguing something about multiple buildings selection and auto cast being for noobs, but that was a bit too much for me, so i skipped that talk.

As I approached the end of the floor, there where two passages. One stairway that leads down and an elevator that goes up. The stairway had quite the traffic so I decided to visit it first.

Basement

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After a 5 minute walk, i was in the "dungeon". The signs were written in blood and it said "ban list" and "closed". It gave me the chills. I walked up to the man in front of the main gates.

Chill: "Hey, whats up?"
Me: "Nothing, I'm just looking around. What is this places?"
Chill: "It's the dungeon. We keep stupid and annoying people here"
Me: "Wow. can you do that?"
Chill: "Fuck yeah we can. You can end up here doing random stuff"
Me: "Like?"
Chill: "Well, writing stupid stuff on the strategic forums, racism, acting stupid or just registering with a stupid nickname"
Me: "That's nice. How are you treating people in here?"
Chill: "We don't treat them. The first few cells are for people with a temp ban, they were just over reacting or they need to improve on their speech. In the end of the line there are people who we just don't care about, some clazzi cheater guy or tdot nobody"
Me: "Awesome. I have to go now. Your jobs seems to be great"
Chill: "Hehe, yeah it is. Have a nice time here, will ya,eh?"
me: "Bye"

"That is fucked up", I thought as I ran through the stairway. I didn't skip a beat and jumped the first elevator to avoid that creeping dungeon sounds.

First floor

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This floor looks great. Reminds me of high tech lounge bars. Huge plasma TVs, computers and consoles. Even some plants and a bar at the end. A great place to take a break.
I overheard a few noises on the left side of the place, so I stood behind the pillar and watched a couple of guys watch TV.

InControl: "I can't believe it, i lost to HuK today"
LzGamer: "Dang"
Machine: "You are bad"
InControl :"Fuck off Machine"
Louder :"Sit down bear"
InControl :"Fuck it, i need to practice more"
InControl :"While i am at it, i might as earn some money doing that"
LzGamer: "Dang"
Louder: "Can bears teach?"
Machine: "I think they can"
Louder: "I think they can, but not you machine, your just too stupid"
LzGamer: "dang"

Weird guys. That bear man looks very scary. I would get lessons from him if he payed me, afraid if I would lived up to the expectations he would beat the shit out of 70kg me.
Walking along the hall i noticed some flashes of light and squeaky noises. This guy was really fucking awesome at shaping balloons. I have never seen anything like that.
It said "Fuddx" on his shirt. The chick that took photos looked like cute, Bisu like. But it quite hard to see her face over a huge Nikon DSLR tool.

Few steps away there were a couple of guys playing StarCraft and they looked quite familiar. The fake weatherman was Artosis and he was playing Terran on Iccup while Tasteless and Idra were watching.

Artosis :"I'm ahead"
Tasteless: "you are man. just keep the macro and you will win"
Idra: "That protoss is a noob"
Artosis: "they all are"
(two minutes later)
Idra: "Did you save up scan?"
Artosis: "That cheesy fucker, i can't believe he did a DT drop. They need to ban Protoss. Newbie race"
Tasteless: "white noise laughter"

"They seem to have fun" I thought to myself. As I walked to the elevator I almost stepped on a dog. Or was it a dog? It was quite tiny.

LilSusie "Hey, watch out"
Me: "Sorry, didn't see him there"
LilSuse "His so tiny whiny cute"
Me: "yeah, i guess. can it play fetch?"
Lilsusie "of course!"
Me (thinking): "what's the point, a tennis ball is larger than he is"
me: "wow, that's great"

Walking sideways I came across a seat where Sea[Shield] and Midian were. I didn't know what to say so i just stood there and pretended I am invisible.

Midian: "Would you fancy a cup of tea?"
Me :"...":
Midian "Are you alright?"
me (after a couple of seconds): "yeah, I'm alright. Just in a rush"
Midian :"Godspeed to you young man"

I don't know what's with the British people and their accents, but they all sound like they have PhD's while I sound like I fuck sheep for a living.
The elevator was close so I entered and pressed the button to get to the next level.

Second floor

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This looks like a typical business floor. Cubicles, people running around and the sound of typing machines and computer keyboards. I entered the first cubicle block.

Kau: "What is this shit?"
Saracen :"I beg your pardon?"
Kau: "I said, what is this Shakespeare shit? I can't put this in the newspaper"
Riptide :"Sir, I am poorly imitated after you"
Kau: "What?"
riptide:
"Being your slave what should I do but tend
Upon the hours, and times of your desire?
I have no precious time at all to spend;
Nor services to do, till you require. "

Kau:"Your fired. Get me Waxangel, he can write shit down"
Arrian: "Can i jump in?"
Kau: "Sure. Just don't get all emotional, I need facts, not poetry"

Jumped over to entered the other cubicle, and there was the some talking but i couldn't understand shit.
Four guys, watching a tv show and speaking korean. They had their names written on their shirts in hangul. As I'm poor with hangul i translated it like this:
"LoseIC4, RofLz, dorakona, Smiks".
"I need to work on my korean" i thought to myself.
At the end of the hall there were some people shouting "ban this asshole" and a couple of guys were doing some NSFW artwork, but I didn't come close,as I was afraid they might send me to the dungeon.

"This would be a nice place to work at if I would be into journalism" i pondered. Time for the next level.

Third floor

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As i entered the room all eyes were on me. There was a huge round table in this floor and fancy corporate chairs. They were staring for a second and then a voice killed the silence.

(silence)

Hot_Bid: "No way, it can't work"
JWD: "Sure we can pull it off, we just need more facebook and twitter action"
Plexa: "Let's get global"
AeSoP: "We need to wiki this stuff"
Hot_Bid: "Ok, let's start with that"
JWD: "Is it that easy to get sponsors"
HoT_Bid: "I can manage that shit"
Plexa: "We need a huge prize fund. I mean, huge. One. Million. Dollars.
EvilTeletubby: "Sure, I'll donate my 2 cents"

(silence)

I did not know what to think about these guys. The room looked all shiny and expensive, yet they all wore teamliquid shirts and that guy from New zealand was in his underwear with socks up to his knees.
They seem to get shit done. I didn't want to bother them no more so i just pressed the next button, as I did not leave the elevator in the first place.

Fourth floor

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Now, this is what i like. A huge room, several tables with monitors on them and people playing starcraft 2. The windows were slightly opened so fresh air poured in, while pro gamers focused on multitasking.

"Nein, Nein, Nein, Nein" TLO shouted. Jinro laughed and Nony was like "I love the collosus"
There was some poor weak kid trying to move his table a little bit so i came over and helped him do that.

HayprO: "thanks!"
me: "no problem"
HayprO "you a new liquid player?"
me: "no, my PC can't run Starcraft 2"
HayprO "Well, I am! So what do you do in life?"
me: "Do 3 hatch lurker in SC:BW and edit liquipedia when I'm not in collage"
HayprO "That sucks"
me. "yeah, i know"
Haypro "Sorry, have to play, Nazgul already made Kulas Ravine"
me "sure, good luck"

As he put his headphones on I noticed that they were all staring at their screens and I could walk around the room and spectate all of the games. It felt as exciting as i was playing in their skin.
I avoided Jinro as I was afraid that he would start speaking British and make me freeze again, so I watched TLO play terran and use only 3 hotkeys.
Jinro lost and TLO shouted "Deutchland uber alles!". It did not feel strange. I was jealous of their skills, so it was better to leave because i felt my envy grow.

Fifth floor

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The moment the elevators door opened, a deep voice drilled down my soul.

Manifesto7: "Who the fuck are you?"
Me: "Just a spectator"
Manifesto7: "What the fuck do you want?"
Me (frightened) : "To see things..how they work around here "
Manifesto7: "Do you have any beer?"
Me: "No, i don't"
Manifesto: "Next time you come here, bring beer. Don't disturb the coders"
Me: "hokay"

The room setting was very weird. It was almost matrix like. Dark room with flashing with green lights and the nerds were gathered in the corner as they were staring into the 5 LCD monitor displays.

R1CH :"I think we should hack into the next door building and shut down their lights"
SonuvBoB "You can't do that"
unk: "why not?"
MoC: "we can do that, we just need to make a plugin for that"
R1cH : "sure, I'll wizard up that shit"
SonuvBoB: "are you gonna use IEEE 8201512 protocol with TCP/IP over the electric network with Java NB?
R1ch :" yeah, all you need to do is to set the parametrs -l '123- 135 -gsdg -22- 134 -124 -xfxfxf -22 -wizard -shit"
R1ch :"it's that easy"
MoC : "fuck yeah, i didn't think of the -22 command"
SonuvBoB "you can't do that, it would be illegal!"
unk: "why not?"

(the next door building goes black)

Wow. I did not expect that to happen. They only giggled and put the lights back on. But then they programed the lights to start flashing in 50 beats per minute, to match with serious cat's heart rate when it plays Starcraft.
I left the floor and Mani shouted "knock first"

I did not know what he meant by that, as I clicked on the button to take me to the top floor.

Floor Six

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The elevators door open and an another door appear. Weird. Why is that there? I knock. Nobody answered. I knocked again.

Kennigit "hey, just a second"
(doors open)
Kennigit "oh, who are you? I am waiting for somebody"
Me: "just a visitor, checking out the site"
Kennigit "well...you have 5 minutes. Come in"

My jaw dropped. Not because Kennigit was had only a towel on his naked body, but because this floor looked like a 6 star penthouse with a swimming pool and a outside terrace.
A huge bed covered in silk, fancy vines in the fridges, small waterfalls that speed up the water in the pool and high tech stuff implemented on the entire floor.

Kennigit "so, what brings you here?"
Me "curiosity and imagination. How come you got this floor?"
Kennigit "Well, I get a lot of chicks online so i bang them here. It's a TL project. Xeris is my current student"
Me "So you are waiting for somebody now?"
Kennigit "Yeah, she will be arriving in several minutes"
Me "Why is this your floor again?"
Kennigit "Well, Nazgul loves to hang out with the players and Meat is nowhere around, Drone moved out so I took the place"
Me "Wow. That's all i can say"
Kennigit "you know, u gotta skate"
Me "I see. i love the place"
Kennigit "I know you do. Now go, I have a date and she is in the elevator"
Me: "Thanks for having me"
Kennigit "Anytime"

So I entered the elevator, pressed the button and went down. What a great place be a part off.

TL;DR in spoiler.

+ Show Spoiler +

The idea originated from zatic's signature "TL is known as a massive building. Sorry for all that deserved but did not get mentioned.

My summer vacation started, i have a few days off then i start again with school projects. I couldn't sleep last night so i wrote this. It's so hot i wanna die.

I plan to spend much more time on liquipedia now sc2 is open again. Do the same!

Teamliquid - a massive building

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