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The live report guidebook

Blogs > Drazerk
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Drazerk
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United Kingdom31255 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-02-22 12:56:21
February 16 2012 16:22 GMT
#1
The LR guidebook


A basic guide book on how to survive the SC2 Live report threads while getting the obscure references we make which you also will be able to make with this handy guidebook making you "one of the cool kids"


The 10 commandments


1. Thou shalt build ravens

2. Thou shalt actually hype events and turn up to the events instead of failing

3. Thou shalt not balance whine

4. Thou shalt actually use your oversears to halt supply instead of leaving them in your base on full energy doing nothing all game long and then having 9 in your final army while floating 4k gas ready for the remax.

5. Thou shalt watch the KSL and EWM

6. Thou shalt spam pm seeker

7. Thou shalt enjoy the LR community and actually engage in conversation and socialise

8. Thou shalt kill roshan at level 1 every single dota game because you can.

9. Thou shalt compare any technical fault in any tournament to MLG dallas or NASL season 1

10. Thou shalt LR every single sc2 game ever instead of drazerk because he is rather lazy

- joke - Thou shalt derail LR threads with talks of WoW

- joke- Thou shalt bash the NASL and be mean to Idra





The raven rule and curses


The raven rule


[image loading]


The raven. The best unit in the game bar non. Capable of seeing cloaked units saving the Terran money on scans which will ALWAYS pay off in the long run no matter what the match up. In TvT it has the possibility of tanking Marauders / Viking attacks to save your superior mech army or to use the auto turret as defence or even as a rush / harassment. In TvP it crushes players like Parting who build 17 observers every game while PDD is universally awesome. In TvZ it is the bane of Seal clearing up his creep instantly while absorbing ALL ranged attacks bar the infested terran how awesome its that?

The raven is always a good unit to build no matter what the siutation is. In the LR thread there is the raven rule regarding players who build the raven.

1. The player who builds the raven will win the game

2. If both players build a raven anyone can win the game and it will be labbeled as an epic game

3. If any player builds a battlecruiser the first rule is made void ( This rule was forced into action by boxer who insisted on building battlecruisers losing him a won game )

4. If a player supply blocks a raven and they are not in the red they will probably lose the game.

5. If you lose the raven you go to a special hell reserved for child molesters and people who speak at the theatre

+ Show Spoiler [Nerdy Firefly reference] +



The Fionn curse


Fionn used to predict who would win each day in the GSL threads normally in the first day or two and people would presume he was right and trust him with their liquibet. However this was a trap as Fionn turned out to be a wizard of the dark arts and who ever he predicts to win the game will end up losing. Several people have managed to escape the curse through the use of the raven rule or the power of artosis hype or clear magic but in general if Fionn ever says someone is going to win vote otherwhys.

Artosis Curse


Artosis is an excitable child who casts GSL code S with his Co-Caster Tasteless however Artosis has the power to infuse his pure hype into a player which causes it to mutate into a curse and lose often losing horribly. This is mainly seen with CLIIIIIIDDDDDDDDDEEEEEEE a player so infused by Artosis hype that after joining slayers he has fallen off the side of
earth falling to code B and losing constantly in other korean tournaments. The power of Artosis hype has also managed to effect an entire build known as the Mech curse which causes any player to go mech to have a very large chance of the player failing.


The Hassy and Con Duo curse


On the finals of the Blizzard cup at the end of 2011 Hassy and Con used match and map statisitics to try and be smart arses and predict the individual results of each map they played on. However things went south and they got every single map result wrong starting the Hassy and Con duo curse. They have tried this several other times yielding the same results
finalizing it as an official curse.


The Seeker curse


Lets face it his curse doesn't exist. But if it did it would be who ever he puts in the Original post for the live report thread will lose their games and fall out of their group / the entire tournament. The exception to the suggested curse is MC so as said earlier this curse is only a myth and doesn't really exist.




The LR Crew


[image loading]


The full group of us who take an active part in Live report threads ( well the GSL ones at any rate ) The picture is missing Asha, Blind, Fionn and King Mainly because they would not send in pictures and mainly because we forgot to ask some of them. The group later made a skype conversation which is mythed to have been created to stop me and hassy derailing Live report threads but in reality was only created to stop us wasting time sending the same message to four seperate people.

Seeker


He has a fan club... Wait why don't I have a fan club? For those of you who live under a rock seeker currently does the GSL threads after he moved up the ranks murdering Mr Con for his code S threads. He also does the LR after I left but uses his own style that we continuously argue over. Seeker is really excitable ( especially when it comes to him finally reachind masters and the running of team Air) At first I believed him to be a small child which was later myth busted. Seeker also is the hardest of the group to ever contact because despite not sleeping he refuses to check his TL inbox or ever log into skype however when he does it is always with the same sort of message -

10124 new messages!? wtf!
omg so many new messages xD
217 NEW MESSAGES?!?!?! YOU GUYS NEED TO STOP TALKING ( He is really anti social )
I get 1204203482 messages a day
I wake up with 5000 messages
U GUYS TALK TOO MUCH
BEST FUCKING GROUP EVER
MORE SPAM!?
!!!!!!!!! YOU GUYS SPEAK TOO MUCH


The Kraken's Daughter


Sister to Theon Greyjoy the ward of winterfell who no one ever noticed in the tv series even though he is probably one of the best characters in the books and hopefully his Redacted to Redacted and the Redacted with the Redacted will be Redacted. Really there isn't a lot you can talk about without spoiling the series so we will focus on what Asha actually does on TL which normally adding a sort of sensible train of thought to the thread while recapping us on what happens in the game should we miss it. She is also a coward and never plays Dota 2 with anyone because she has higher ladder fear than a copper player to further prove she is a coward she is the only person to not give fishuu a picture and so did not appear in the EPIC LR group picture.

Hassybaby


Well hassan used to be the GSL stat person... until GSL actually employed someone to do their stats for them putting him out of work. He now trolls the LR threads seeking to derail the thread ( See the Great WoW derailment of december 20th ) Hassy also is enthusiastic about Dota but has a horrible connection and d/cs midway through games causing us to lose more games than not ( Although if you need an enigma or weaver I guess he is ok ) I mean really look how much he references Enigma in our skype alone -

there have been some fucking massive black holes this game
black hole is the greatest ability ever
I need a black hole button for vortex
black hole...cmon....
because my Black Hole is brutal
black hole + morgana ult would be so fun LOL
Black Hole + Epicentre
black hole shouting too
ALL those deaths bar 1 was from Black Hole casts
dat black hole
BLACK HOOOOLLLLE
black hole dawg
this is the equivalent to jumping under a ladder after a black hole got you, only to step and break a mirror

He also loves gingers and they can shackel him to a tree anytime.

Mr con


Mr con was the person who did LR threads before seeker came along. If you are ever being held against your will by a MR con Doppleganger and the real con gets into a fight with him you will be able to tell the difference between them by asking the following question - how do you hold of 2 rax as protoss?

The one who answers stalkers is the real con. Con also plays a LOT of other games ranging from his JRPGS to winning with me on dota with our epic Ursa/SK lv 1 roshan cheese (provided the other team doesn't rage quit first). Con is also a big fan of me but I can't figure out why...

[Edited by drazerk, 17:10:59] Mr Con: you should feed his quest for power
[Edited by drazerk, 17:11:07] Mr Con: he is a really nice guy
Mr Con: YOU SEE ? YOU SEE ?

Drazerk


I basically took up the mantle of doing every single LR for every single tournament ever for a few months racking up 20k posts in half a year before giving up and going into hiding only live reporting when the gods demand it. Also a wild fanatic of the raven and starter of the Raven rule I praise anyone who uses the unit and should be forced upon Terrans.

I couldn't really find a common skype message I post a lot so here is the reaction to alive starting to build a raven when I picked MMA for the liquibet -

drazerk: NO
drazerk: GOD NO
drazerk: WHY
Mr Con: ALIVE HAHA
Asha: o_O
Asha: what have i missed
Mr Con: nothing at all
drazerk: Fuck lol

Virgil


His use in LR threads basically consists of him mass promotes KSL and EWM in threads (WHICH YOU SHOULD WATCH) and the managing of Team clash while occasionally telling us what is going on in the korean scene.If you see him in a thread and he is speaking about something you don't know about it is probably true and you should just take his word for it (Unless he is saying TSL will win the GSTL then you should just anti vote them like the rest of us do)

Blind


Well I would write a section for blind but to be honest he won't join our Skype convo so I don't know him as well as the other people so here is a ton of references to him from our skype convo you can play games to work out who said what (The prize is a night with Seeker provided you pay and bring him home by 7).

we need Blind....
I should call Blind out publically now
gotta ask king and blind
Blind is such a tease
Blind really needs to get on here
He would have a dota key had he been here

zhurai


He posts what the kpop actually is in the GSL as it is the only reason most people watch it. From what we understand he is a student and so we have had to call our Skype group an international study group in order for him to be allowed to stay in it.

King


He does the pictures for the GSL and makes witty comments when appropriate. You should thank him for his hard work because we realized we really don't do it enough. I would make a witty joke about the xXx but Asha stole it.

Asha: what's not SFW about saying he's into xXx and taking screencaps of young korean males?

Sassyzerk


A horrific mutation of Seeker, Hassy and myself fusing as one LR body who controls the LR threads. Like all horrific mutations with multiple heads all the heads argue with each other constantly over how you should play Dota or how the other head's LR technique is shabby and poorly done.

Sassyzerk also has laser vision because why not.




Player Terms



The Clide factor


CLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDEEEEEEEEEE is a player of pure artosis hype. Hyped to such maginitude that he is doomed to fail. Because of all the hype he must be referred to as CLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDEEEEEEE when ever possible. The more emphasis the better. Just calling him Clide will probably result in Artosis dying inside.


The Ryung factor


The Lonely slayers terran who is always in the shadow of the much better MMA. Ryung unable to actually stand out in the scene must always be refered to as worse than MMA when ever he plays while saying MMA would of held off that attack better or MMA would of killed him earlier. Always compare Ryung to MMA even if the situation does not call for it. For example - Ryung is really bad at listening to Gee compared to MMA

The JYP factor


Yeah this guy can't win vs terran. Never. Oh he won vs terran? no that was another player pretending to be that player and playing terran so JYP had the advantage. JYP should never beat a real terran ever.

The Byun factor


He has a puppy and thus should be refered to as Puppykingprime rather than his new handle of ghostkingprime. The puppy must always be referred to as the cutest thing in Esports.

The Idra factor


Idra will always GG when he is winning the game. Without exception some times he will feel mercy on his opponent and GG early allowing them to take the game however this only happens if they accidently kill their own command centre. Other korean pros have tried to replicate the Idra factor in other opponents however they are not as kind as idra and do not just GG because their opponent killed their own command centre. Despite training in a secret base owned by slayers if Idra loses a game to terran cheese he is very likely to tilt and will proceed to throw away the series causing fan drama as they see him as the last foreign hope despite him being sub par for a while now.

The Incontrol factor


He will NEVER win a game. If he does win a game it must be because something was wrong with his opponent or he did a cheese or an all in build and did not deserve the win. "Incontrol shouldn't win a game" if the common belief and is an EXCELENT ban trap when it comes to people jumping on the bandwagon and flaming him. When it comes to incontrol its best to stay far away and just praise him when he does well like the rest of us.

The Supernova factor


This player used to be a god making a raven every game and dominating in the team leagues and in the opening rounds of season 1 GSL code S 2012 however recently he has stopped building ravens after losing in Code S turning his back on the raven rule and becoming mortal as a result supernova is dead to me and is just another random korean terran well until he starts building ravens again...

The July factor


No matter how badly July cheeses someone or does a horrible build that makes no sense while calling your mother names July must be loved by all. No one can not love July it is actually impossible. You must also reference how cute he is at the start and end of every game.

The Parting factor


He wears glasses... First hyped by Mr Con Fionn saw what Con was doing by claiming a player for himself and jumped on the bandwagon becoming his greatest fan just to steal Mr Con's thunder. Parting is also known for building a ton of observers which should be countered by ravens but never are.

The Seal factor


He builds creep.

The Bit By Bit factor


Pulling any amount of scvs in an attack will be chanted by going all in bit by bit but never a full all in and not even a Naama train which would be more acceptable really it is just to soften your actual units with scvs

The Naama factor


NAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA TRAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIN EVERYDAY! The Naama train consists of pulling EVERY scv with every attack you do but not half assed like Bit by Bit. Please be aware despite the pulling of all scvs the naama train is NOT an all in. Naama really likes trains...

The Best factor


The best has the best banshee control in Esports. Known as the villan of esports the best has the ability to possess players and take control of their banshees purposely killing them by running them into marines, missile towers or flying sharks. The best is universally hated because of his run in the super tournament and banshee genocide.

The Towel Gumiho factor


A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. Guimiho however uses it for a different reason. Inside each fabric of his towel is a different Terran build order which is why he must always have it on him when playing as he doesn't practice enough to learn builds without reading them from somewhere.

The Polt factor


Who the hell is this guy? What has he achieved? What team is he on? No body knows anything about this guy a bit like Accrington Stanley no body has any idea who he is. If you have any information about polt you should probably disclose it so we can fill this in because his name is mentioned but no one knows of him.

The Naniwa factor


This guy is the ass hole of esports constantly being mean and showing a clear lack of sportsmanship. The phrase "Doing a Naniwa" refers to just worker rushing which he did as a rage quit method during the blizzard cup. When approaching Naniwa it is probably best to legally change your name from Chill or risk being told to GET OUT but don't worry everything will be "Ok"

The TL v EG factor


TL is all the good in the world while EG is all the bad in the world should TL lose to EG in any way shape or form the planet fall into chaos killing us all as evil will finally win even if it is simply a show match or a random Bo3 at the start of a tournament. EG is always evil no matter what. Also any TL player MUST be routed for in each tournament no matter how much they are out match and all statistics point to them losing because there is always that small chance they will pull out a miracle and win.

The Foreigner factor


All foreigners are from USA no matter where they actually come from. especially stephano when ever he plays you must chant USA three times after his name just to show how much of an american hero he is. When participating in the GSL a foreigner will always lose their game with no exceptions giving easy liquibet points to everyone.




LR Terms


Cheese


When Roshan is killed for the third time he drops an item called cheese. cheese restores 2500hp and 1000 mana instantly to yourself or an ally or it can be sold for 500 gold if you are dominating too much to be bothered using it or have a team consisting of 5 support healers. In SC2 Cheese is any build that requires a lack of scouting from the opponent to suceed and often refered to as a coin flip


Economic Cheese


When a player builds three bases before their first unit and never scouts.


Coin flip


When a player flips a coin to see what build they will do.

All in


All in is probably the most over used term in Starcraft. An all in is where you kill every single one of your own buildings while consturcting a supply depot / pylon in the main of your oppenent. For zerg they build a proxy extractor as close the enemy base as possibly. Ideally inside the enemy main. When all of this has been done the Player then pulls all their scvs and A moves into the opponent without the use of micro. If any micro is used the attack is NOT an all in. All ins are the rarest thing in Esports and shouldn't be tarnished by things that are really not all ins.

Economic All in


Never building a unit maxing out on 200 workers then mining out the entire map and winning because you have the most resources and your opponent can not get any more.

Timing attack


Any attack done during the game. Any attack done before the game starts or any attack done after it ends is not a timing attack but provided the two players are actively in the game and one makes any form of attack it is a timing attack.

The great WoW derailment of 20/12/11


A horribly boring game with no one interesting player. Hassy made a reference to the flowers in the inside bases natural which was quoted by Elem who said they looked like Mountain silversages ( A common flower in WoW which is pretty easy to farm but needed in a lot of recipes ) From that one reference we had a 70 page discussion on WoW only being stopped by Pholon who had no idea what was going on. It is a fun read even if you have no idea what WoW is an shows how great the LR community can really be when we are not busy balance whining because protoss is OP and deserve to be nerfed.

The start of the derailment

The sad conclusion

Seeker also promises us a Code A WoW themed day but we will never see it because Seeker is lazy.




Actual useful things...



How to LR by Moonbear

LR rules

The actual 10 commandments





This will be updated randomly when I think of more terms or something happens possibly Asha actually giving Fishuu her picture. Also thanks to the LR crew who proof read it and to Bergson who gave me a Dota 2 key

****
Hassybaby
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United Kingdom10823 Posts
February 16 2012 16:24 GMT
#2
Hey hey hey hey

My Enigma play is badass, as is my Windrunner play
"These guys are mindfucking me into a sex coma" | "Mayonnaise is a must-have lubricant when performing necrophilia"
MrCon
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
France29748 Posts
February 16 2012 16:26 GMT
#3
Here I am.
Congratz for the 20k posts and for your birthday. Now I will reread everything and criticize next, muhahaha.
Asha
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United Kingdom38198 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-02-16 16:32:32
February 16 2012 16:32 GMT
#4
Raven/5

happy 20k <$
nooboon
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
2602 Posts
February 16 2012 16:33 GMT
#5
You guys deserve a purple heart for all the work you guys do, and congrats on your 20000th post.

Anyone else think that the Live report threads are like the stock markets?
TheToast
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States4808 Posts
February 16 2012 16:37 GMT
#6
Wow, loving all the effort that went into this LR threads are like some strange exotic world in a separate dimention from the rest of TL.

But I'm going to be a troll and point out that LP is better than LR threads. Faster results, and crowd sourced so you don't get grump LR OPs grumping about all the work they put in.

I'm still a Seeker fan though.
I like the way the walls go out. Gives you an open feeling. Firefly's a good design. People don't appreciate the substance of things. Objects in space. People miss out on what's solid.
Linwelin
Profile Joined March 2011
Ireland7554 Posts
February 16 2012 16:44 GMT
#7
WoW discussions are the best, followed by kpop
Fuck Razor and Death Prophet
BLinD-RawR
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
ALLEYCAT BLUES50107 Posts
February 16 2012 16:45 GMT
#8
when you address me you address me by my full name.

only reason I'm famous is because I make fun of seeker,then again seeker usually embarrasses himself by subjecting himself to stupid LR threads and Kpop.

congrats on 20K, I used to have a higher post count than you once.
Brood War EICWoo Jung Ho, never forget.| Twitter: @BLinDRawR
TL+ Member
Synwave
Profile Joined July 2009
United States2803 Posts
February 16 2012 16:48 GMT
#9
Woo fun read even though Im in enough LR threads to understand most of the references.
Reading through the WoW derailment because I was traveling that day

5/5 cracked up laughing a number of times CLLLLIIIIIIDDDDDEEEE
♞Nerdrage is the cause of global warming♞
fortheGG
Profile Joined April 2011
United Kingdom1002 Posts
February 16 2012 16:53 GMT
#10
Really nice read
MoonBear
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Straight outta Johto18973 Posts
February 16 2012 16:55 GMT
#11
I totally approve of this blog post.

And happy 20k posts Drazerk!
ModeratorA dream. Do you have one that has cursed you like that? Or maybe... a wish?
Elem
Profile Joined April 2011
Sweden4717 Posts
February 16 2012 17:36 GMT
#12
Yessss I am mentioned in a 20k post. I feel slightly relevant~

Really fun read, been waiting for it as you kept mentioning it in the LR threads in such a teasing manner! Certainly delivered as much as expected.

We really need to do another WoW derailment sometime again btw, was great fun.
#freeshauni
MCDayC
Profile Joined March 2011
United Kingdom14464 Posts
February 16 2012 18:14 GMT
#13
Happy 20k man. I've not been able to hang out in LR threads nearly as much as I would like to recently, and that is making me very sad. The OP is completely epic by the way, I shall consult it often, and as a tribute I have changed my sig temporarily.
VERY FRAGILE, LIKE A BABY PANDA EGG
Drazerk
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United Kingdom31255 Posts
February 16 2012 18:34 GMT
#14
On February 17 2012 03:14 MCDayC wrote:
Happy 20k man. I've not been able to hang out in LR threads nearly as much as I would like to recently, and that is making me very sad. The OP is completely epic by the way, I shall consult it often, and as a tribute I have changed my sig temporarily.


haha that is awesome
Hassybaby
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United Kingdom10823 Posts
February 16 2012 19:02 GMT
#15
On February 17 2012 02:36 Elem wrote:
Yessss I am mentioned in a 20k post. I feel slightly relevant~

Really fun read, been waiting for it as you kept mentioning it in the LR threads in such a teasing manner! Certainly delivered as much as expected.

We really need to do another WoW derailment sometime again btw, was great fun.


Dude you're like the only person who can help out with it. Drazerk works or some crap....real men LR WHILE working!
"These guys are mindfucking me into a sex coma" | "Mayonnaise is a must-have lubricant when performing necrophilia"
Teoita
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Italy12246 Posts
February 16 2012 19:16 GMT
#16
Awesome, was waiting for this. Happy 20k!
ModeratorProtoss all-ins are like a wok. You can throw whatever you want in there and it will turn out alright.
Zvenn3n
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
Sweden1196 Posts
February 16 2012 19:52 GMT
#17
Great read, totally awesome! :D
Kurumi
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Poland6130 Posts
February 16 2012 20:11 GMT
#18
If You need something, just come back. TL Mafia forum won't be going anywhere, that's for sure.
I work alone. // Visit TL Mafia subforum!
Seeker *
Profile Blog Joined April 2005
Where dat snitch at?37003 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-02-16 20:18:58
February 16 2012 20:18 GMT
#19
Lol! And the 20k post finally arrives!!!

On February 17 2012 01:37 TheToast wrote:
Wow, loving all the effort that went into this LR threads are like some strange exotic world in a separate dimention from the rest of TL.

But I'm going to be a troll and point out that LP is better than LR threads. Faster results, and crowd sourced so you don't get grump LR OPs grumping about all the work they put in.

I'm still a Seeker fan though.


I beg your pardon?
ModeratorPeople ask me, "Seeker, what are you seeking?" My answer? "Sleep, damn it! Always sleep!"
TL+ Member
rUiNati0n
Profile Joined December 2010
United States1155 Posts
February 16 2012 20:23 GMT
#20
Nice 20k post! You make the live report threads sound so fun and interesting lol. I'm tempted to post more in them, but whenever I go into them they always seem like a shitfest...
eating corn while thinking about eating more corn
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