Since the dawn of time, man's journey through the ages has been accompanied by two fundamental questions: "How do I keep having erections until the day I die?", and "Why does this taste like shit when I make it?
Two minutes after we discovered fire, we discovered how incredibly fun it was to throw stuff in it. And if there was anything that I learned from that introductory anthropology class that I never went to, it was that even though cooking food deprived our ancestors of many of its valuable enzymes and nutrients, it was a small price to pay for how god damn good it tasted.
What was waiting in the hearth of the first Caveman who decided to throw some woolly mammoth ribs on the fire
From that point forward, food became an integral part of the social world. "Food" was no longer something we just ate to survive, but something we ate to enjoy. As with most difficult and tedious tasks in history, cooking fell to the ladies. But a small percentage of men recognized that women love men who can cook, and the idea of the "Chef" was born. In 440BC, Socrates famously stated, "I know that I know nothing, but I do know that cooking is the 1/1/1 build for impressing girls."
He also enjoyed hemlock cocktails, so who knows...
In the mid 19th century, Matthew C. Perry ventured to Japan to negotiate it's opening to the west. Unfortunately for the Japanese emperor, his gas line wasn't working and the repair man couldn't make it until next week. In a desperate bid to feed his esteemed guest and avoid embarrassment, the Japanese emperor lied and said raw fish was a delicacy in Japan. Being the pretentious prick that he was, Perry ate that shit up and decided that he had to bring this delicacy to America, and that people should pay 8 dollars for 6 tiny pieces.
Thanks, asshole.
So that brings us to today. A time where Chef's are the most egotistical people on the planet, and where the ordinary person can barely boil a pot of water for their instant noodles. Food is the social lubricant for every date and taking a girl out can run a high tab(depending on how pretty she is.) Learning to cook is a useful skill for saving money and entertaining guests!
So what is the point of this blog?
Food seems to be a genuine interest for a lot of people on TeamLiquid, so I figured why not share some delicious and relatively easy to make food?
Blackened Steak Flatbread with Chipotle Aioli
What you need to make this:
- Bread flour
- Sugar
- Jalapeno Jack Cheese
- Salt
- Olive Oil
- Vinegar
- Active Dry Yeast
- Pesto
- Chipotle peppers in adobo sauce
- Red peppers
- Red Onion
- Marinated Artichoke Hearts
- Red Onion
- Garlic
- Steak
- Eggs
- Cajun seasoning
- A pizza stone(about $10-$15 and easy to find). If you ever made pizza at home and it sucked, it's just because you didn't have a stone
Specific measurements for the two big components are in this spoiler
+ Show Spoiler +
Flatbread
- 2.5 cups of bread flour
- 1 teaspoon of active dry yeast
- 1/2 teaspoon of sugar
- 1 teaspoon of salt
- 1/2 tablespoon of olive oil
Chipotle Aioli
- 3 gloves of garlic
- 1/2 teaspoon of salt
- 2 egg yolks
- 1/2 can of chipotle chili's in adobo sauce
- 1 red pepper
- 1/2 cup of olive oil
- 1 teaspoon of white vinegar
Step 1:
Cut the two red peppers into big flat pieces. Rub olive oil to coat the peppers and the steak. Season the steak with cajun spice.
Toss these guys onto a grill preheated to high.
- Cook the peppers until they get soft and the skin starts to blister.
- Cook the steak until it's at least medium (Any rarer and it tends to run blood on the flatbread)
* The steak will look burnt, don't worry, that's just the blackening of the cajun.
I like to BBQ, but you can broil the steak and peppers in the oven, or pan fry the steak
Step 2:
Let the steak and peppers cool down. Cutting a steak that just came off the grill causes all the juice to run out and leaves it dry.
Cut the steak into strips to admire your work;
The flash of the camera took all the pink out of the steak
Once you are done with that, cut it into cubes and cut about one and a quarter of the peppers into strips. Put these guys into the fridge for the time being.
Step 3: Making the aioli
Cut and then smash your 3 gloves of garlic into a paste with a pinch of salt(about 1/2 teaspoon). You can use a mortar and pestle or just smush it up with your knife.
Chop up the other 3/4 red pepper and half the can of chipotle peppers. I removed the seeds and membranes of the peppers(on left of picture) because this particular one is super spicey, but it's up to you how much of them you want to include. The seeds and membrane are where the majority of the spice in a pepper is and it's easy to just add more as you go.
The next few steps can be done by whisking the ingredients in a bowl, but a food processor speeds up the process and gives a smoother texture. If you go the hand route, just sieve the mixture at the end
Separate out the two egg yolks from the whites(you dont use the whites) and mix them together with the garlic.
Add the chopped peppers and some of the adobo sauce from the can(I used two teaspoons since I removed the seeds). Mix these together.
Slowly add 1/4 cup of olive oil to the mix while blending( or whisking) until it's all incorporated. From there, alternate between the remaining 1/4 cup of olive oil and the tsp. of vinegar until it becomes thick. At this point you can decide if you want it spicier or more vinegary. But at the end it should look like this. Put the sauce in the fridge.
Step 4: Making the flatbread
- Add your flour, salt, and olive oil into a bowl
- Measure out 1/4 cup(120ml) of water and bring it to about 90-100° F (32-38° C). Add the yeast and the sugar to it and let it sit for about 20 minutes.
- Measure out 1 and 1/8 a cup(150ml) of similar temperature water in another cup.
Mix both cups of water/yeast into the flour, mix together and dump onto a clean surface.
Knead the dough for about 10 minutes until it becomes smooth and whole. Depending on how humid it is you might find you will need a bit of extra flour or water, but very little.
Huk's waypoints when he kneads dough.
Round and put the dough into a bowl(you can use the same one) and let it rise for about an hour.
After an hour round the dough again to get the air pockets out of it, flour it generously and let it sit for another half an hour. At this point put your pizza stone in the oven at 400° F(200° C). You want to give it at least 40 minutes to heat up.
Step 5: Assembly:
On a well floured surface, shape the dough into the approximate size of the stone. Dab teaspoon sized mounds of pesto around the dough. Add the cheese, steak, red pepper strips, some red onion and artichoke pieces to the dough and transfer it to the hot stone. (Obviously how much you like of each is up to you.)
Step 6: Last step!:
Cook until the crust is golden brown and the cheese in the center is bubbly. Take the flatbread and transfer it onto a rack to cool for a couple minutes.
Leaving it on the pizza stone after the oven will overcook the crust.
Aioli that mother up.
If Socrates was right when he said cooking is the 1/1/1 build to impressing girls, liquor is like bringing all your SCV's with the push.
And that's it, enjoy!