I've had some time to grieve over whatever had just happened to me this past weekend and after talking to friends and everything, I feel like I just am finally to let it out in written words just so that I don't have to hold anything in anymore.
I'm not looking for advice.. or complaining about the girl.. or about my life. Nothing like that.. the purpose of me writing this blog is I guess to just tell a short story and to let it all out of my system because there are things that I want to say that I know she won't ever listen to and it makes me feel better to know that someone.. somewhere out in this world has read it..
So fellas..
I started talking to a girl online about a year ago after being introduced by her sister. She's from Quebec, Canada (A French speaking province in Canada) and I'm from Ontario, Canada. We already started off with sort of a language barrier between us but honestly, her English was good enough that we could talk for hours.. so it isn't that huge of a problem..
Anyway.. after talking for a while, we started to connect on a certain level and after months of webcamming and talking and texting on our cell phones, we started to fall for one another despite not seeing each other in real life.
Of course, that issue was always raised... we kept "pre warning" each other that this feeling might not be the same when we finally do see each other but I think.. sometimes you just don't follow logic and just follow whatever the hell you feel like as with the case with me in this relationship.
After talking with her almost every day and every night for a year, I finally decided 3 weeks ago that I would visit her by taking a 6 hour coach bus to her town. The first weekend I was with her was really.. amazing. She was just as pretty as in her pictures or whatever, she's really a down to earth girl and her friends and family were really nice.
I came back home after 2-3 days and after 2 weeks, I decided to return to see her again because I couldn't stop thinking about her after finally being with her and she gave off that same vibe. But now to the point of the story...
One night, she gave out a confession saying a bunch of stuff that she can't be my girlfriend and asked me to stop thinking about her as a potential one.. and she just wants to be friends, etc, etc..
So this past week has killed a little part of me. She's been my every thought even though I'm trying to just say "fuck it" and move on but boy is it difficult... I went out drinking last night with a few friends and that really helped me...
I finally decided to delete all our old texts... delete her from MSN and deactivate my facebook. I'm not trying to burn bridges but in this past week.. I've sent her some texts without getting replies and each time that happens, I get hurt all over again. I just have to face facts and stop myself from this because I know she's out there, having fun and doing her thing. I gotta do the same.
Thanks for reading guys..
(But to be honest... I still see her face and body everywhere I look... I still want her more than anything in the world.. but in the end... she doesn't care and none of it matters so.. lets see what happens now..)
Oh man, deleting all traces of her might help right now but you are going to regret that so much later. Also, not sure how old you are, but long-distance relationships never really work out for young people.
Well, I hope things get better for you. I don't know how you feel, so I find it hard to empathize with you. My advice is don't try to completely shun her away by burning bridges and whatnot; continue being normal and casual around her, and let things happen, I guess. =\
If you want to avoid ending up where I am, you need to realize that she was not and will not be your girlfriend. But she can be a nice friend to have. You don't have too much personally invested in this relationship beyond the normal bounds of strong friendship it seems (emotionally maybe, but if its been only a year thats not so bad).
Honestly, I've been in a long distance relationship before. On-and-off for 3 years. Midway through, she told me she was bisexual, and then at the end, she said she was lesbian and some other stuff that basically meant i was a loose end she had to get rid of to be a full-out lesbian. But the girl's parents might not want her in a long-distance relationship, though.. That's what happened between me and my ex
Im guessing that once you 2 finally connected in person, you were not everything she was looking for. IMO this was a big issue that was either going to work out or not, and in this instance, it didnt. I wouldnt drag on with it as you're only going to hurt yourself further. Online dating can be problematic in that you have spent literally a year getting to know someone semi intimately, throwing out your feelings and building a relationship that has emotions built into it. Then you go and meet and 1 side realizes its not what they wanted, and now you are stuck with a full years worth of emotion and built up interest in the person that it totally feels shitty to lose them. In 1 sense you barely know the person, but already are pretty deeply connected. Internet relationships can hurt alot for that reason.
If you are hesitant about meeting girls IRL at functions or events, and find it easier to meet adn relate with someone online first, then maybe try signing up for a local dating site, and looking for another person to get to know. This will help you release some feelings for the girl, and possibly help you move on much quicker as you will have something positive going on in your life, instead of just the shitty feelings constantly circling around.
On July 18 2011 02:53 jjun212 wrote: One night, she gave out a confession saying a bunch of stuff that she can't be my girlfriend and asked me to stop thinking about her as a potential one.. and she just wants to be friends, etc, etc..
Sounds like a piss-poor reason to me. Frankly, you deserve a better explanation, but if she's not communicating I believe you've read the situation correctly and decided to move on.
Sucks, doesn't it? I'm relieved you've taken steps to remove her from your life as that makes moving on a whole lot easier. Just give it time (lots).
Mmmh, been there. Drama queen. Burnt bridges. It's tough, and maybe not the right move, but who knows what's right and what's wrong in a world without absolutes? Good luck, man.
On July 18 2011 03:59 Galaxy_Zerg wrote: It's happened to us all man. Eventually you'll move on, but you'll always have memories.
Don't worry, we know how you feel
Spot on. May i just ad.
Do not remember the good things that had happened in the past with sadness because they have passed, remember them with a smile because you had the privilege to experienced them.
EPT
