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Girls and Life

Blogs > qzmpwxno
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1 2 3 Next All
qzmpwxno
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Papua New Guinea152 Posts
June 27 2010 17:55 GMT
#1
hey!! I haven't made a blog in more than a month, just because I haven't had too much to talk about. But finally I seem to have started digging myself out of my self-inflicted holes, and so here I am today.

This post is going to be about a topic which gets a lot of attention on TL: girls and love.

So, to start off, I finished my junior (3rd year of college) and am getting ready for my senior year and the real world. But the past 3 years have been hectic. I got bad grades throughout my college years, and at one point was close to being dismissed because of my poor gpa. I took a summer course to remediate myself this summer, and am about to get an A in the class, which would bring up my average to over a 2.0 (I know, absolutely terrible). But all seems to be alright again. I finally seem to have developed good study habits and concentration but, most importantly, I seem to have conjured up a state of peace of mind and self-worth. And it all started with a girl.

---
Rewind to September 1999. First day of 5th grade. Luckily for me all my best friends were in the same class as me. All was perfect.

Then something caught my eye. While the teacher was taking role call that morning, a girl walked in late, saying she missed the bus and her dad had to drop her off. I will never forget that day. The sun shone so brightly in the mid-autumn morning sky, the dewdrops on the grass seemed more vibrant, everything was more colorful than before.

This girl (let's call her Katie) took over my consciousness. Even when I was with friends I would constantly think about her. Now I know some people would say that a 5th grader wouldn't even know the first thing about love, but I was deeply enamored by her innumerable charms.

She lived in the development across the street from me. My family used to live in an apartment, and her family was living across the street in a single family house. I remember taking long showers at night gazing absentmindedly through the bathroom window, peering out into the cold heavenly darkness, knowing the love of my life was somewhere in that abyss.

But I never worked up the courage to talk to her. Indeed, it seemed like I was invisible to her. She talked with many boys but never with me.

When 5th grade ended, my family had to move to another state because my dad got a job someplace else. I started middle school in another state but there was always with emptiness in the pit of my stomach. I did well in school, had a lot of friends, and was generally happy, but missed Katie so much.

We came back to our old neighborhood at the start of 7th grade, and I saw Katie again, walking out of math class. Hardly anyone I knew back then was talking about girls, so I thought maybe I was weird or something. But after that brief encounter I never saw her again. Middle school is a big leap forward from elementary school, and since everything was so spread apart and chaotic, I got to see less and less of her. Fortunately, I started crushing on a girl in my class (let's call her Vicki). At the time, I thought my feelings for Vicki were genuine, and it seemed to me she actually acknowledged my presence. But middle school is exactly that...when I was in middle school I felt like every day was spring, love was always in the air.

At the end of 7th grade my family had to move again, this time not out of state but far enough that I couldn't see my old friends again except in the summer. 8th grade was relatively uneventful: I had my eye on a lot of girls, and I got good grades.

High school. Long story short...I wish I had spent more time studying in high school instead of goofing off. I barely got into the college of my choice, since my gpa was around 2.6, but my SAT score of 1940 was supposedly higher than average for the students at that college. I finally worked past a lot of my shyness (especially around girls) and became more of a funny guy and started to focus on small talk when hitting off with girls. I became just not caring about anything or anyone and walking my own road...the road I thought would make me happy. I didn't exactly date anyone but I was friends with a lot of girls. But still...still...there was an empty feeling inside.

---
Fast forward: May 2010. A few days before the end of my junior year of college I saw Katie again, and I couldn't believe it!! I hadn't seen in her over 10 years, but I immediately recognized her in the split second I saw of her. I didn't even know she was in the same college as me. Anyway, I thought about talking to her, but I figured it would just be too weird. There was no way I could project my longings and desire for her in a way that wouldn't come off as creepy, and on top of that she barely knew who I was anyway (lol).

---
Mood: a little conflicted. She practically turned my life around. After seeing her, I knew what I had to do...I had to get my act together and prepare myself for the real world. I turned myself around completely, promised to do well in the summer session so I wouldn't get kicked out of college, stopped drinking for the time being, and generally tried to improve myself. And it all started with a girl.

***
Stand on one block but own the whole street~
rbkl
Profile Joined March 2010
772 Posts
June 27 2010 18:01 GMT
#2
If it's meant to be, then it will eventually happen. I dont know man, destiny seems like it's trying to tell you something.
www.check6gaming.com // www.iugaming.com ** Indiana's Premier Gaming / Starcraft Community **
Lightwip
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States5497 Posts
June 27 2010 18:01 GMT
#3
That was a nice read. But you should probably think of a way to talk to her if you can.
If you are not Bisu, chances are I hate you.
Zhek
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
Canada342 Posts
June 27 2010 18:02 GMT
#4
Should've talked to her. It's not creepy or weird. Well, maybe just a tiny bit, as long as you don't come on too strong/seriously pushing for sex.
DeathByMonkeys
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
United States742 Posts
June 27 2010 18:04 GMT
#5
Just approach her the next time you see her and strike up some small talk, then offer to catch up over some coffee sometime or something.
Deleted User 61629
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
1664 Posts
June 27 2010 18:10 GMT
#6
--- Nuked ---
Hot_Bid
Profile Blog Joined October 2003
Braavos36374 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-06-27 18:12:37
June 27 2010 18:11 GMT
#7
let me get this straight, you saw a girl you knew in 5th grade, passed up a perfect opportunity with a bulletproof approach line (omg we knew each other from elementary school!) because you were "scared you might come off creepy"?

to be blunt, judging by the obsessiveness of your post and that end part where you talk about seeing her changing your entire outlook on life... you probably didn't have a good chance here. you'd probably fail with Kate or whatever. but the next time you talk to a girl, you'll fail a little less. and the next time, a little less. and eventually, you'll succeed. that's the worst case scenario here. the best case scenario is theres a 1% chance she remembers and loves you despite your crappy attitude.

i'd say its a no-brainer to talk to her, if only to get experience talking to girls. approaching girls takes practice. you had the perfect lead in line too, wth. not approaching her or other girls only defers your failure for later. you need to fail now. FAIL NOW. with as many girls as you can fail with. you don't want to be 35 and trying to muster up the courage to ask out a girl.
@Hot_Bid on Twitter - ESPORTS life since 2010 - http://i.imgur.com/U2psw.png
Rinrun
Profile Joined April 2010
Canada3509 Posts
June 27 2010 18:12 GMT
#8
That was very poetic, definitely my type of style of writing (maybe that's why I like it haha).

Reminds me of my grade 6 crush, she went to a different school and 4 years later reappeared. I went out with her for a while, but found out that she was no longer the person I remember her to be - she became a person who believed in "overlapping relationships", if you know what I mean. We broke it after that cause I knew she was seeing another guy. What can you do, no regrets haha.

My advice, talk to her, find a way. Closure would be the word for this situation. Better to live knowing what happened instead of living with the thoughts of what-if.
MBC/Liquid/TSM always.
M155_G33k
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States470 Posts
June 27 2010 18:46 GMT
#9
Talk to her Rinrun is right. Better to know what happened and not what if. Plus you never know. Maybe she thought you were a cute guy in 5th grade and was thinking about you just as much as you were her :O Worth a shot at least ^_^ but if you don't talk to her, and she ends up in a class with you next year... dude seriously talk to her then ^_^
"It can't be a NE Lan without any problems!" ~ "Starcraft is like sex. After a rough round, sometimes you just need that cigarette."
Straylight
Profile Joined March 2008
Canada706 Posts
June 27 2010 18:50 GMT
#10
Oh boy.
It felt like gravity.
Djzapz
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Canada10681 Posts
June 27 2010 19:16 GMT
#11
On June 28 2010 03:01 rbkl wrote:
If it's meant to be, then it will eventually happen. I dont know man, destiny seems like it's trying to tell you something.

...things happen, it's not destiny.
"My incompetence with power tools had been increasing exponentially over the course of 20 years spent inhaling experimental oven cleaners"
jodogohoo
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Canada2533 Posts
June 27 2010 19:34 GMT
#12
Girls are like iccup, at first you get raped over and over again, but eventually you get good enough to win more than you lose, and better opponents = better girls.

It's always good to get a game with the pro Koreans at the start of the ladder, even if you get raped, its a good experience.

This girl Katie is like the protoss you played against that taught you how to dt rush, that taught you how to reaver shuttle micro, that taught you how to 2base carriers.

This girl taught you how to be a winner, and you owe it to her to play one last game with her before you lose that chance forever! Go get her man!
Polar_Nada
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States1548 Posts
June 27 2010 20:04 GMT
#13
On June 28 2010 04:34 jodogohoo wrote:
Girls are like iccup, at first you get raped over and over again, but eventually you get good enough to win more than you lose, and better opponents = better girls.

It's always good to get a game with the pro Koreans at the start of the ladder, even if you get raped, its a good experience.

This girl Katie is like the protoss you played against that taught you how to dt rush, that taught you how to reaver shuttle micro, that taught you how to 2base carriers.

This girl taught you how to be a winner, and you owe it to her to play one last game with her before you lose that chance forever! Go get her man!

loooool. best read EVAR!
[ReD]NaDa and fnaticMSI.SEn fighting~! ::POlar @ UC Irvine::
arb
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Noobville17921 Posts
June 27 2010 20:22 GMT
#14
If you dont talk to her im going to hit you in the face

DO IT
Artillery spawned from the forges of Hell
Baksteen
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Netherlands438 Posts
June 27 2010 21:00 GMT
#15
On June 28 2010 05:22 arb wrote:
If you dont talk to her im going to hit you in the face

DO IT


Indeed, make it happen mr! Otherwise you might spend quite a few years wondering what would have been.
Derp Derp Derp
YPang
Profile Blog Joined April 2007
United States4024 Posts
June 27 2010 21:13 GMT
#16
Just don't expect too much out of your interactions, and you'll be in a good mindset.
sMi.Gladstone | BW: B high| SC2: gold T_T
Oddysay
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
Canada597 Posts
June 27 2010 21:43 GMT
#17
nice shoe , wanna fuck ? ask her
Spiffeh
Profile Joined May 2010
United States830 Posts
June 27 2010 21:56 GMT
#18
get other girls in your life. see if she's still worth it then. if she is, go nail her
TaaiJoeng
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Hong Kong164 Posts
June 27 2010 21:59 GMT
#19
On June 28 2010 03:01 rbkl wrote:
If it's meant to be, then it will eventually happen. I dont know man, destiny seems like it's trying to tell you something.


Lol you're a funny one. I'm just not going to do shit and wait for my destiny girl to come into my life. Yeah, that sounds like a reasonable plan to me.
...but the parasites say NO!
YPang
Profile Blog Joined April 2007
United States4024 Posts
June 27 2010 22:48 GMT
#20
On June 28 2010 06:59 TaaiJoeng wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 28 2010 03:01 rbkl wrote:
If it's meant to be, then it will eventually happen. I dont know man, destiny seems like it's trying to tell you something.


Lol you're a funny one. I'm just not going to do shit and wait for my destiny girl to come into my life. Yeah, that sounds like a reasonable plan to me.

who nows, a random chick might just trip and land on your penis.
sMi.Gladstone | BW: B high| SC2: gold T_T
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