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Girlfriends - Page 2

Blogs > itachisan
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munchmunch
Profile Joined October 2010
Canada789 Posts
June 20 2011 07:42 GMT
#21
On June 20 2011 14:37 Lemonwalrus wrote:
Since when is Chinese-Korean interracial?

Edit: And please don't read racism/hatfulness into my question, that isn't how I mean it to be taken.

There really isn't any scientific basis for classifying people into races. You can use genetics to figure out where someone's ancestors came from, but not so much whether they will be black or white, for instance. It's actually possible for white parents to have a black child, and vice-versa. Our ideas about race tend to be cultural. In North American and European culture we think of the races broadly as Black, White, and Asian. If we break it down any further, we focus on the White category. For example, a neo-nazi might add in Jewish and Aryan under the White category. Anyway, in other cultures people go about it differently, so a Chinese person might break down Asian into Chinese (Han), Korean, Japanese, etc.

As for the OP, it doesn't hurt to ask: these women who aren't interested in you... how are you showing your interest in them? You are asking them out directly, right? It's the only way you are going to know if someone is interested in you. Personally I'm thinking of a couple of geek friends who constantly complain about being unable to get a girl, but refuse to use anything but incredibly subtle flirting to attract a mate. Think animal kingdom... subtle is bad, loud mating calls are good. Anyway, my apologies if this doesn't apply to you.
AzTec
Profile Joined August 2010
Canada178 Posts
June 20 2011 07:49 GMT
#22
If you're really serious about going after a fob chick, find a Korean wingman to show you the ropes.

Chances are your looks and personality have zero to do with it, you're just not going at it the right way.

They're used to an entirely different approach when it comes to dating and you're getting an icy reception because you don't know all the little nuances of K-dating and meanwhile they're not used to the way westerners date.

It's a cultural barrier that's all.
ILOVEKITTENS
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
Korea (South)112 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-20 10:57:59
June 20 2011 08:09 GMT
#23
Okay I got your back man.

You say you want Korean fob girls, and that they are only attracted to Korean fob guys? And you are Chinese? Follow these steps and you will be eating bibimbap and sexing it to 2 pm in no time.

PART 1: APPEARANCE

Step 1: Attire

Appearance and first impressions are everything. I imagine you know this already, because that is what has garnered the existing amount of success you have with these women (apparently none beyond the occasional eye contact and maybe a joke to one of their close friends later). Think about it logically, here are the rules you have yourself determined from your environment:

1. Korean girls go for Korean dudes
2. Korean girls ignore other dudes
3. Korean girls ignore you

What does this mean? It means that you need to become a Korean dude. This is a lot easier than it sounds. All you have to do is go here and get some trendy, tight-fitting stuff. Remember, accessories are essential. Nothing says "I'm so fob my semen tastes like kimchi" like some manly accessories. Bracelets, necklaces. sunglasses, a poppin' watch, some sort of belt clip or strap that screams Seoul. Basically, look at these pictures and any kpop celebrity.

Picture 1
Picture 2

Must haves:
  • Ironic and Konglish graphic T's. Bright colors with high contrast a plus.
  • Cardigans. Many cardigans.
  • Shoes. Many shoes. Different shoes. Semi-formal loafers, poofy sneakers with perpetually untied laces, all-star imitations.
  • Sunglasses that a blind person would wear. To become blinder.
  • Skinny, curved jeans with artificial wear-marks, creases, and fades.


Being sexy is rarely cheap. Sometimes you have to sell your soul for it. I have given up more for Korean pussy in my day, though, so I say you should spend at least half of your life savings on this transformation (if you have less than $1k in the bank you have to fix that first before you can hope to get a 'fob' girl, they love shopping).

Also, make sure the clothes you buy match. Just because a top looks good and a pair of jeans look good, doesn't mean they will work together. Same goes for all your accessories. Which is why you need many, many, many articles of everything. If they catch you wearing the same-ass outfit every week, you can forget your dreams of spicy katsu pussy.


Step 2: Haircut

A brief google search shows an observable trend: most famous, young, and attractive Korean men fall into one of a few hair archetypes.

There is the "Anime isn't just for Japs" haircut.

The "I spent 15 minutes to make my hair look messier" look.

The typical Asian spike helmet.

The "I would be an emo kid if I wasn't too fuckin cool for it" haircut.

As you can see, most of these require medium-to-long hair, so you probably will have to go with the spikes until your hair grows out long enough for you to choose one of the above that suits your facial structure the best. I would suggest going with either the Anime or Emo archetypes if your Chinese heritage is too obvious.

Most essential part of this is:

[image loading]

If it's not Gatsby, they will know. They can smell it. Trust me.


Step 3: Fitness

In case you haven't noticed, most Korean 'fob' guys are slim at best, devastatingly thin at worst. I don't want to go into too much detail here because I don't know what your body shape is like, but to wear tight-fitting contour dress shirts with rolled up sleeves and skinny jeans, you need to be thin. Otherwise you look like a sad wanna-be in denial, like those fat girls at parties that have their saggy cleavage exposed to the midriff because they deluded into thinking any part of them can be aesthetically pleasing. Except even drunk Korean girls won't hit on you. True story.

Step 4: Finishing touches

Cigarettes. All Korean fobs smoke cigarettes. Get in the habit of it. Better be Asian import cigarettes, too. Otherwise you are getting white-washed in their eyes. This will also help you with your anorexic endeavor to fit into 28 waist girl jeans marketed to men that must be eunuchs.

That distant hazy look that makes you seem wholly disinterested in everything.

Acquire a direct but an un-intrusive walking style. Nothing says that you just got a fake driver's license at your local Korean church than the fact that you don't want to have anything to do with anyone, and the way to portray that is by walking from a to b as directly an unconfrontationally as possible. Because there be AMERICANS about. Shibal kissekyo.


PART 2: MENTALITY

So, you must think that you're almost a Korean fob already. You might even start thinking or acting like one. And you are right - you already have 90% of the attributes that define this sub-class of human being. However, the selling point is how you approach your new skin. If you were trying to be a goth kid, even if you had all the chains and black nail polish that you could buy from Spencer's, you wouldn't be accepted at the next morbid gathering of self-imposed depression with a grin on your face and a sparkle in your eye. The same idea applies here. It's like an actor, in a movie - you are not playing a role, you ARE the role. The sooner you believe it, the sooner they will. How successful you are at this point is purely dependent on how much effort you are willing to put in. Here are some approaches:

1. Learn some basic Korean and Korean slang. This shouldn't be that hard after Chinese. This will help sell your image. You should say that you moved to some foreign country when you were young, though, so your Korean is limited. I would go with some obscure European country that probably has good shopping and an obscure culture that will make you unique. Like Sweden. That way you can pretend to know a language they don't know, that isn't Asian (all Asian people hate Asian people from other Asian countries, but that is obvious). Exotic.

2. Speak less and choose your words carefully. Speaking too much is a sign that you care too much. Being overly excited or hateful towards something does too. You are only allowed to hate all things Americans, Chinese, Japanese, and bad clothes/accessories/hairstyles from now on. Everything else is to be treated with indifference.

4. Study up on your kpop. You can't be left out of the loop - the media is your source for everything. Latest styles, gossip, suicides, everything. Here you go.

5. The same disinterest they showed to you - that is how you have to treat them, at first at least. No more of that... Wait you're not white, so I can't say yellow fever... Well, anyway, you know what I am talking about. The second you show them that you want them badly, they know that you are not worth their time, because any man that gives them so much attention is clearly below them.

I hope this helps. FIGHTING!
Kaonis
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United States243 Posts
June 20 2011 08:15 GMT
#24
Date interracially.

If only for the fact that it makes it easy to poke at them with racist jokes and keep conversation going and lighthearted. I mean, heart wants what the heart wants and all that, but limiting yourself by something as arbitrary as phenotypical bone structure and skin tone isn't gonna get you anywhere.
Nevermind.
BenKen
Profile Joined August 2009
United States860 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-20 08:21:29
June 20 2011 08:16 GMT
#25
On June 20 2011 14:51 Darclite wrote:
Regarding the OP, yeah that was pretty much the worst girl blog ever. "I'm hot and a great guy all around, but girls don't think so"

I feel like half of the girl advice blogs start off like this actually. If the post is by an asian-american, then there is usually some sort of complaining about strict parents too.

But don't worry OP, you are a unique and beautiful snowflake that should be dating an IU look-alike, if only they weren't so shallow and you weren't so busy turning down all those non-"fob" girls that you pass off to your friends.

EDIT: ILOVEKITTENS, fantastic post. I'm still laughing.
I deadlift for Aiur
Risen
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States7927 Posts
June 20 2011 08:24 GMT
#26
+ Show Spoiler +
On June 20 2011 17:09 ILOVEKITTENS wrote:
Okay I got your back man.

You say you want Korean fob girls, and that they are only attracted to Korean fob guys? And you are Chinese? Follow these steps and you will be eating bibimbap and sexing it to 2 pm in no time.

PART 1: APPEARANCE

Step 1: Attire

Appearance and first impressions are everything. I imagine you know this already, because that is what has garnered the existing amount of success you have with these women (apparently none beyond the occasional eye contact and maybe a joke to one of their close friends later). Think about it logically, here are the rules you have yourself determined from your environment:

1. Korean girls go for Korean dudes
2. Korean girls ignore other dudes
3. Korean girls ignore you

What does this mean? It means that you need to become a Korean dude. This is a lot easier than it sounds. All you have to do is go here and get some trendy, tight-fitting stuff. Remember, accessories are essential. Nothing says "I'm so fob my semen tastes like kimchi" like some manly accessories. Bracelets, necklaces. sunglasses, a poppin' watch, some sort of belt clip or strap that screams Seoul. Basically, look at these pictures and any kpop celebrity.

Picture 1
Picture 2

Must haves:
  • Ironic and Konglish graphic T's. Bright colors with high contrast a plus.
  • Cardigans. Many cardigans.
  • Shoes. Many shoes. Different shoes. Semi-formal loafers, poofy sneakers with perpetually untied laces, all-star imitations.
  • Sunglasses that a blind person would wear. To become blinder.
  • Skinny, curved jeans with artificial wear-marks, creases, and fades.


Being sexy is rarely cheap. Sometimes you have to sell your soul for it. I have given up more for Korean pussy in my day, though, so I say you should spend at least half of your life savings on this transformation (if you have less than $1k in the bank you have to fix that first before you can hope to get a 'fob' girl, they love shopping).

Also, make sure the clothes you buy match. Just because a top looks good and a pair of jeans look good, doesn't mean they will work together. Same goes for all your accessories. Which is why you need many, many, many articles of everything. If they catch you wearing the same-ass outfit every week, you can forget your dreams of spicy katsu pussy.


Step 2: Haircut

A brief google search shows an observable trend: most famous, young, and attractive Korean men fall into one of a few hair archetypes.

There is the "Anime isn't just for Japs" haircut.

The "I spent 15 minutes to make my hair look messier" look.

The typical Asian spike helmet.

The "I would be an emo kid if I wasn't too fuckin cool for it" haircut.

As you can see, most of these require medium-to-long hair, so you probably will have to go with the spikes until your hair grows out long enough for you to choose one of the above that suits your facial structure the best. I would suggest going with either the Anime or Emo archetypes if your Chinese heritage is too obvious.

Most essential part of this is:

[image loading]

If it's not Gatsby, they will know. They can smell it. Trust me.


Step 3: Fitness

In case you haven't noticed, most Korean 'fob' guys are slim at best, devastatingly thin at worst. I don't want to go into too much detail here because I don't know what your body shape is like, but to wear tight-fitting contour dress shirts with rolled up sleeves and skinny jeans, you need to be thin. Otherwise you look like a sad wanna-be in denial, like those fat girls at parties that have their saggy cleavage exposed to the midriff because they deluded into thinking any part of them can be aesthetically pleasing. Except even drunk Korean girls won't hit on you. True story.

Step 4: Finishing touches

Cigarettes. All Korean fobs smoke cigarettes. Get in the habit of it. Better be Asian import cigarettes, too. Otherwise you are getting white-washed in their eyes. This will also help you with your anorexic endeavor to fit into 28 waist girl jeans marketed to men that must be eunuchs.

That distant hazy look that makes you seem wholly disinterested in everything.

Acquire a direct but an un-intrusive walking style. Nothing says that you just got a fake driver's license at your local Korean church than the fact that you don't want to have anything to do with anyone, and the way to portray that is by walking from a to b as directly an unconfrontationally as possible. Because there be AMERICANS about. Shibal kissekyo.


PART 2: MENTALITY

So, you must think that you're almost a Korean fob already. You might even start thinking or acting like one. And you are right - you already have 90% of the attributes that define this sub-class of human being. However, the selling point is how you approach your new skin. If you were trying to be a goth kid, even if you had all the chains and black nail polish that you could buy from Spencer's, you wouldn't be accepted at the next morbid gathering of self-imposed depression with a grin on your face and a sparkle in your eye. The same idea applies here. It's like an actor, in a movie - you are not playing a role, you ARE the role. The sooner you believe it, the sooner they will. How successful you are at this point is purely dependent on how much effort you are willing to put in. Here are some approaches:

1. Learn some basic Korean and Korean slang. This shouldn't be that hard after Chinese. This will help sell your image. You should say that you moved to some foreign country when you were young, though, so your Korean is limited. I would go with some obscure European country that probably has good shopping and an obscure culture that will make you unique. Like Sweden. That way you can pretend to know a language they don't know, that isn't Asian (all Asian people hate Asian people from other Asian countries, but that is obvious). Exotic.

2. Speak less and choose your words carefully. Speaking too much is a sign that you care too much. Being overly excited or hateful towards something does too. You are only allowed to hate all things Americans, Chinese, Japanese, and bad clothes/accessories/hairstyles from now on. Everything else is to be treated with indifference.

4. Study up on your kpop. You can't be left out of the loop - the media is your source for everything. Latest styles, gossip, suicides, everything. Here you go.

5. The same disinterest they showed to you - that is how you have to treat them, at first at least. No more of that... Wait you're not white, so I can't say yellow fever... Well, anyway, you know what I am talking about. The second you show them that you want them badly, they know that you are not worth their time, because any man that gives them so much attention is clearly below them.

I hope this helps. FIGHTING!



This is absolutely fantastic. Hahaha, you must have started writing this the second you read the blog!
Pufftrees Everyday>its like a rifter that just used X-Factor/Liquid'Nony: I hope no one lip read XD/Holyflare>it's like policy lynching but better/Resident Los Angeles bachelor
Legatus Lanius
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
2135 Posts
June 20 2011 08:33 GMT
#27
so disappointed, thought this thread would be about some white guy macking on a big booty african girl
"He's the Triple H of Brood War." - Ribbon on Flash | "He's more like the John Cena of Brood War." - Aus)MaCrO on Flash
Zarggoth
Profile Joined February 2011
United States20 Posts
June 20 2011 08:53 GMT
#28
+ Show Spoiler +
On June 20 2011 17:09 ILOVEKITTENS wrote:
Okay I got your back man.

You say you want Korean fob girls, and that they are only attracted to Korean fob guys? And you are Chinese? Follow these steps and you will be eating bibimbap and sexing it to 2 pm in no time.

PART 1: APPEARANCE

Step 1: Attire

Appearance and first impressions are everything. I imagine you know this already, because that is what has garnered the existing amount of success you have with these women (apparently none beyond the occasional eye contact and maybe a joke to one of their close friends later). Think about it logically, here are the rules you have yourself determined from your environment:

1. Korean girls go for Korean dudes
2. Korean girls ignore other dudes
3. Korean girls ignore you

What does this mean? It means that you need to become a Korean dude. This is a lot easier than it sounds. All you have to do is go here and get some trendy, tight-fitting stuff. Remember, accessories are essential. Nothing says "I'm so fob my semen tastes like kimchi" like some manly accessories. Bracelets, necklaces. sunglasses, a poppin' watch, some sort of belt clip or strap that screams Seoul. Basically, look at these pictures and any kpop celebrity.

Picture 1
Picture 2

Must haves:
  • Ironic and Konglish graphic T's. Bright colors with high contrast a plus.
  • Cardigans. Many cardigans.
  • Shoes. Many shoes. Different shoes. Semi-formal loafers, poofy sneakers with perpetually untied laces, all-star imitations.
  • Sunglasses that a blind person would wear. To become blinder.
  • Skinny, curved jeans with artificial wear-marks, creases, and fades.


Being sexy is rarely cheap. Sometimes you have to sell your soul for it. I have given up more for Korean pussy in my day, though, so I say you should spend at least half of your life savings on this transformation (if you have less than $1k in the bank you have to fix that first before you can hope to get a 'fob' girl, they love shopping).

Also, make sure the clothes you buy match. Just because a top looks good and a pair of jeans look good, doesn't mean they will work together. Same goes for all your accessories. Which is why you need many, many, many articles of everything. If they catch you wearing the same-ass outfit every week, you can forget your dreams of spicy katsu pussy.


Step 2: Haircut

A brief google search shows an observable trend: most famous, young, and attractive Korean men fall into one of a few hair archetypes.

There is the "Anime isn't just for Japs" haircut.

The "I spent 15 minutes to make my hair look messier" look.

The typical Asian spike helmet.

The "I would be an emo kid if I wasn't too fuckin cool for it" haircut.

As you can see, most of these require medium-to-long hair, so you probably will have to go with the spikes until your hair grows out long enough for you to choose one of the above that suits your facial structure the best. I would suggest going with either the Anime or Emo archetypes if your Chinese heritage is too obvious.

Most essential part of this is:

[image loading]

If it's not Gatsby, they will know. They can smell it. Trust me.


Step 3: Fitness

In case you haven't noticed, most Korean 'fob' guys are slim at best, devastatingly thin at worst. I don't want to go into too much detail here because I don't know what your body shape is like, but to wear tight-fitting contour dress shirts with rolled up sleeves and skinny jeans, you need to be thin. Otherwise you look like a sad wanna-be in denial, like those fat girls at parties that have their saggy cleavage exposed to the midriff because they deluded into thinking any part of them can be aesthetically pleasing. Except even drunk Korean girls won't hit on you. True story.

Step 4: Finishing touches

Cigarettes. All Korean fobs smoke cigarettes. Get in the habit of it. Better be Asian import cigarettes, too. Otherwise you are getting white-washed in their eyes. This will also help you with your anorexic endeavor to fit into 28 waist girl jeans marketed to men that must be eunuchs.

That distant hazy look that makes you seem wholly disinterested in everything.

Acquire a direct but an un-intrusive walking style. Nothing says that you just got a fake driver's license at your local Korean church than the fact that you don't want to have anything to do with anyone, and the way to portray that is by walking from a to b as directly an unconfrontationally as possible. Because there be AMERICANS about. Shibal kissekyo.


PART 2: MENTALITY

So, you must think that you're almost a Korean fob already. You might even start thinking or acting like one. And you are right - you already have 90% of the attributes that define this sub-class of human being. However, the selling point is how you approach your new skin. If you were trying to be a goth kid, even if you had all the chains and black nail polish that you could buy from Spencer's, you wouldn't be accepted at the next morbid gathering of self-imposed depression with a grin on your face and a sparkle in your eye. The same idea applies here. It's like an actor, in a movie - you are not playing a role, you ARE the role. The sooner you believe it, the sooner they will. How successful you are at this point is purely dependent on how much effort you are willing to put in. Here are some approaches:

1. Learn some basic Korean and Korean slang. This shouldn't be that hard after Chinese. This will help sell your image. You should say that you moved to some foreign country when you were young, though, so your Korean is limited. I would go with some obscure European country that probably has good shopping and an obscure culture that will make you unique. Like Sweden. That way you can pretend to know a language they don't know, that isn't Asian (all Asian people hate Asian people from other Asian countries, but that is obvious). Exotic.

2. Speak less and choose your words carefully. Speaking too much is a sign that you care too much. Being overly excited or hateful towards something does too. You are only allowed to hate all things Americans, Chinese, Japanese, and bad clothes/accessories/hairstyles from now on. Everything else is to be treated with indifference.

4. Study up on your kpop. You can't be left out of the loop - the media is your source for everything. Latest styles, gossip, suicides, everything. Here you go.

5. The same disinterest they showed to you - that is how you have to treat them, at first at least. No more of that... Wait you're not white, so I can't say yellow fever... Well, anyway, you know what I am talking about. The second you show them that you want them badly, they know that you are not worth their time, because any man that gives them so much attention is clearly below them.

I hope this helps. FIGHTING!



After Reading this I have already ordered over half my life savings on the attire! These fob Korean ladies wont know what hit em! Thanks for the help

+ Show Spoiler +
seriously after reading this I could not stop laughing... So epic!
haduken
Profile Blog Joined April 2003
Australia8267 Posts
June 20 2011 08:58 GMT
#29
Sigh, another delusional scrub sucked in by the kpop trap.

Face the fact bro, Korean chicks dig Korean dudes because their parents tell them that.

Read MightyAtom's blog for clarification.

Even if your game is so good you pick up one chances are they would expect you to become a Korean like them. This means following their social norm, going out with their Korean friends, eat their Korean food.
Rillanon.au
Sixotanaka
Profile Joined December 2010
Australia191 Posts
June 20 2011 10:29 GMT
#30
On June 20 2011 16:27 Plexa wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 20 2011 16:25 Omigawa wrote:
The first place you went wrong is asking TL for girl advice.
TL gives excellent advice 99% of the time. The problem is no one listens to it.


I think this quote should appear more often than a random blog post.
Atlare
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Australia893 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-20 10:33:20
June 20 2011 10:32 GMT
#31
+ Show Spoiler +
On June 20 2011 17:09 ILOVEKITTENS wrote:
Okay I got your back man.

You say you want Korean fob girls, and that they are only attracted to Korean fob guys? And you are Chinese? Follow these steps and you will be eating bibimbap and sexing it to 2 pm in no time.

PART 1: APPEARANCE

Step 1: Attire

Appearance and first impressions are everything. I imagine you know this already, because that is what has garnered the existing amount of success you have with these women (apparently none beyond the occasional eye contact and maybe a joke to one of their close friends later). Think about it logically, here are the rules you have yourself determined from your environment:

1. Korean girls go for Korean dudes
2. Korean girls ignore other dudes
3. Korean girls ignore you

What does this mean? It means that you need to become a Korean dude. This is a lot easier than it sounds. All you have to do is go here and get some trendy, tight-fitting stuff. Remember, accessories are essential. Nothing says "I'm so fob my semen tastes like kimchi" like some manly accessories. Bracelets, necklaces. sunglasses, a poppin' watch, some sort of belt clip or strap that screams Seoul. Basically, look at these pictures and any kpop celebrity.

Picture 1
Picture 2

Must haves:
  • Ironic and Konglish graphic T's. Bright colors with high contrast a plus.
  • Cardigans. Many cardigans.
  • Shoes. Many shoes. Different shoes. Semi-formal loafers, poofy sneakers with perpetually untied laces, all-star imitations.
  • Sunglasses that a blind person would wear. To become blinder.
  • Skinny, curved jeans with artificial wear-marks, creases, and fades.


Being sexy is rarely cheap. Sometimes you have to sell your soul for it. I have given up more for Korean pussy in my day, though, so I say you should spend at least half of your life savings on this transformation (if you have less than $1k in the bank you have to fix that first before you can hope to get a 'fob' girl, they love shopping).

Also, make sure the clothes you buy match. Just because a top looks good and a pair of jeans look good, doesn't mean they will work together. Same goes for all your accessories. Which is why you need many, many, many articles of everything. If they catch you wearing the same-ass outfit every week, you can forget your dreams of spicy katsu pussy.


Step 2: Haircut

A brief google search shows an observable trend: most famous, young, and attractive Korean men fall into one of a few hair archetypes.

There is the "Anime isn't just for Japs" haircut.

The "I spent 15 minutes to make my hair look messier" look.

The typical Asian spike helmet.

The "I would be an emo kid if I wasn't too fuckin cool for it" haircut.

As you can see, most of these require medium-to-long hair, so you probably will have to go with the spikes until your hair grows out long enough for you to choose one of the above that suits your facial structure the best. I would suggest going with either the Anime or Emo archetypes if your Chinese heritage is too obvious.

Most essential part of this is:

[image loading]

If it's not Gatsby, they will know. They can smell it. Trust me.


Step 3: Fitness

In case you haven't noticed, most Korean 'fob' guys are slim at best, devastatingly thin at worst. I don't want to go into too much detail here because I don't know what your body shape is like, but to wear tight-fitting contour dress shirts with rolled up sleeves and skinny jeans, you need to be thin. Otherwise you look like a sad wanna-be in denial, like those fat girls at parties that have their saggy cleavage exposed to the midriff because they deluded into thinking any part of them can be aesthetically pleasing. Except even drunk Korean girls won't hit on you. True story.

Step 4: Finishing touches

Cigarettes. All Korean fobs smoke cigarettes. Get in the habit of it. Better be Asian import cigarettes, too. Otherwise you are getting white-washed in their eyes. This will also help you with your anorexic endeavor to fit into 28 waist girl jeans marketed to men that must be eunuchs.

That distant hazy look that makes you seem wholly disinterested in everything.

Acquire a direct but an un-intrusive walking style. Nothing says that you just got a fake driver's license at your local Korean church than the fact that you don't want to have anything to do with anyone, and the way to portray that is by walking from a to b as directly an unconfrontationally as possible. Because there be AMERICANS about. Shibal kissekyo.


PART 2: MENTALITY

So, you must think that you're almost a Korean fob already. You might even start thinking or acting like one. And you are right - you already have 90% of the attributes that define this sub-class of human being. However, the selling point is how you approach your new skin. If you were trying to be a goth kid, even if you had all the chains and black nail polish that you could buy from Spencer's, you wouldn't be accepted at the next morbid gathering of self-imposed depression with a grin on your face and a sparkle in your eye. The same idea applies here. It's like an actor, in a movie - you are not playing a role, you ARE the role. The sooner you believe it, the sooner they will. How successful you are at this point is purely dependent on how much effort you are willing to put in. Here are some approaches:

1. Learn some basic Korean and Korean slang. This shouldn't be that hard after Chinese. This will help sell your image. You should say that you moved to some foreign country when you were young, though, so your Korean is limited. I would go with some obscure European country that probably has good shopping and an obscure culture that will make you unique. Like Sweden. That way you can pretend to know a language they don't know, that isn't Asian (all Asian people hate Asian people from other Asian countries, but that is obvious). Exotic.

2. Speak less and choose your words carefully. Speaking too much is a sign that you care too much. Being overly excited or hateful towards something does too. You are only allowed to hate all things Americans, Chinese, Japanese, and bad clothes/accessories/hairstyles from now on. Everything else is to be treated with indifference.

4. Study up on your kpop. You can't be left out of the loop - the media is your source for everything. Latest styles, gossip, suicides, everything. Here you go.

5. The same disinterest they showed to you - that is how you have to treat them, at first at least. No more of that... Wait you're not white, so I can't say yellow fever... Well, anyway, you know what I am talking about. The second you show them that you want them badly, they know that you are not worth their time, because any man that gives them so much attention is clearly below them.

I hope this helps. FIGHTING!

No theorycrafting here, please include replay!
Considering learning BW
Dice17
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States520 Posts
June 20 2011 10:33 GMT
#32
At least you dont have trouble finding these girls. For me personally if I see someone im attracted to it doesnt matter what race, but I have a strong liking to japanese girls because I myself am japanese. Only one major problem here. First, there's very few japanese girls to begin with at least around me. Next problem is a lot of them are very tan because I live in California. While I do not hate them for this I am not physically attracted because of it. So you are lucky to a degree.
GamaBear #1 Fan! Sen fighting~
Gamegene
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States8308 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-20 10:42:36
June 20 2011 10:42 GMT
#33
It's Korean tradition to hate on as many different levels as possible. According to a lot of Korean friends I know every non-Korean is whitetrash/thieves/losers/disgusting/dirty. They'll gossip and talk behind everyone's back and attack any vulnerability they can find. A lot of our humor is teasing/taunting people. We are the most stubborn, emotional, and proud people on the face of the planet. My parents have constantly told me that I am the product of nearly 800 years of proud Korean heritage, and that I have to continue a strong Korean bloodline. That I have to find a girl who can raise a household and bear children and all that crap (it gets 5000x worse for the girls).

They kicked me out of the house when I dated my white friend.

Do you really want to get into that kind of shit because of KPOP?
Just date whoever you want; whether she be White Black Middle-Eastern Mongolian Korean Polish whatever don't worry about stuff like that.
Throw on your favorite jacket and you're good to roll. Stroll through the trees and let your miseries go.
fusefuse
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Estonia4644 Posts
June 20 2011 10:48 GMT
#34
Proposing this thread to be moved to BW(SC2?) Strategy, as a [G] with attached replays!
I for one will definitely be trying this build order to steal nerds' ladder points get mi summa dem fob gurls! @_@






5/5, ilovekittens, makes me want to drop my self-esteem and confidence right down the drain just for a worthy cause :DD
Liquipedia@jkursk
Atlare
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Australia893 Posts
June 20 2011 10:51 GMT
#35
On June 20 2011 19:48 fusefuse wrote:
Proposing this thread to be moved to BW(SC2?) Strategy, as a [G] with attached replays!
I for one will definitely be trying this build order to steal nerds' ladder points get mi summa dem fob gurls! @_@






5/5, ilovekittens, makes me want to drop my self-esteem and confidence right down the drain just for a worthy cause :DD

Thanks for stealing the joke I made two posts above you :S
Considering learning BW
FenneK
Profile Joined November 2010
France1231 Posts
June 20 2011 10:52 GMT
#36
hahaha when will people learn about making these?
good luck have batman
fusefuse
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Estonia4644 Posts
June 20 2011 10:57 GMT
#37
i (fast)expanded on it >_>
Liquipedia@jkursk
NeverGG *
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
United Kingdom5399 Posts
June 20 2011 11:00 GMT
#38
'Anyways, my mom and dad currently have this stereotype that I should find a korean girlfriend, because apparently korean girls are very tidy and love to clean the house and make good kimchi.'

Hahahahaha. I live with a load of university age Korean girls, and some (a lot) of them are disgusting, loud, lazy, slobby bitches. (However, some of them are absolutely lovely girls whom I admire for both their kind personalities, generosity and study/living habits.)
우리 행운의 모양은 여러개지만 행복의 모양은 하나
JKira
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
Canada1002 Posts
June 20 2011 11:04 GMT
#39
+ Show Spoiler +
On June 20 2011 17:09 ILOVEKITTENS wrote:
Okay I got your back man.

You say you want Korean fob girls, and that they are only attracted to Korean fob guys? And you are Chinese? Follow these steps and you will be eating bibimbap and sexing it to 2 pm in no time.

PART 1: APPEARANCE

Step 1: Attire

Appearance and first impressions are everything. I imagine you know this already, because that is what has garnered the existing amount of success you have with these women (apparently none beyond the occasional eye contact and maybe a joke to one of their close friends later). Think about it logically, here are the rules you have yourself determined from your environment:

1. Korean girls go for Korean dudes
2. Korean girls ignore other dudes
3. Korean girls ignore you

What does this mean? It means that you need to become a Korean dude. This is a lot easier than it sounds. All you have to do is go here and get some trendy, tight-fitting stuff. Remember, accessories are essential. Nothing says "I'm so fob my semen tastes like kimchi" like some manly accessories. Bracelets, necklaces. sunglasses, a poppin' watch, some sort of belt clip or strap that screams Seoul. Basically, look at these pictures and any kpop celebrity.

Picture 1
Picture 2

Must haves:
  • Ironic and Konglish graphic T's. Bright colors with high contrast a plus.
  • Cardigans. Many cardigans.
  • Shoes. Many shoes. Different shoes. Semi-formal loafers, poofy sneakers with perpetually untied laces, all-star imitations.
  • Sunglasses that a blind person would wear. To become blinder.
  • Skinny, curved jeans with artificial wear-marks, creases, and fades.


Being sexy is rarely cheap. Sometimes you have to sell your soul for it. I have given up more for Korean pussy in my day, though, so I say you should spend at least half of your life savings on this transformation (if you have less than $1k in the bank you have to fix that first before you can hope to get a 'fob' girl, they love shopping).

Also, make sure the clothes you buy match. Just because a top looks good and a pair of jeans look good, doesn't mean they will work together. Same goes for all your accessories. Which is why you need many, many, many articles of everything. If they catch you wearing the same-ass outfit every week, you can forget your dreams of spicy katsu pussy.


Step 2: Haircut

A brief google search shows an observable trend: most famous, young, and attractive Korean men fall into one of a few hair archetypes.

There is the "Anime isn't just for Japs" haircut.

The "I spent 15 minutes to make my hair look messier" look.

The typical Asian spike helmet.

The "I would be an emo kid if I wasn't too fuckin cool for it" haircut.

As you can see, most of these require medium-to-long hair, so you probably will have to go with the spikes until your hair grows out long enough for you to choose one of the above that suits your facial structure the best. I would suggest going with either the Anime or Emo archetypes if your Chinese heritage is too obvious.

Most essential part of this is:

[image loading]

If it's not Gatsby, they will know. They can smell it. Trust me.


Step 3: Fitness

In case you haven't noticed, most Korean 'fob' guys are slim at best, devastatingly thin at worst. I don't want to go into too much detail here because I don't know what your body shape is like, but to wear tight-fitting contour dress shirts with rolled up sleeves and skinny jeans, you need to be thin. Otherwise you look like a sad wanna-be in denial, like those fat girls at parties that have their saggy cleavage exposed to the midriff because they deluded into thinking any part of them can be aesthetically pleasing. Except even drunk Korean girls won't hit on you. True story.

Step 4: Finishing touches

Cigarettes. All Korean fobs smoke cigarettes. Get in the habit of it. Better be Asian import cigarettes, too. Otherwise you are getting white-washed in their eyes. This will also help you with your anorexic endeavor to fit into 28 waist girl jeans marketed to men that must be eunuchs.

That distant hazy look that makes you seem wholly disinterested in everything.

Acquire a direct but an un-intrusive walking style. Nothing says that you just got a fake driver's license at your local Korean church than the fact that you don't want to have anything to do with anyone, and the way to portray that is by walking from a to b as directly an unconfrontationally as possible. Because there be AMERICANS about. Shibal kissekyo.


PART 2: MENTALITY

So, you must think that you're almost a Korean fob already. You might even start thinking or acting like one. And you are right - you already have 90% of the attributes that define this sub-class of human being. However, the selling point is how you approach your new skin. If you were trying to be a goth kid, even if you had all the chains and black nail polish that you could buy from Spencer's, you wouldn't be accepted at the next morbid gathering of self-imposed depression with a grin on your face and a sparkle in your eye. The same idea applies here. It's like an actor, in a movie - you are not playing a role, you ARE the role. The sooner you believe it, the sooner they will. How successful you are at this point is purely dependent on how much effort you are willing to put in. Here are some approaches:

1. Learn some basic Korean and Korean slang. This shouldn't be that hard after Chinese. This will help sell your image. You should say that you moved to some foreign country when you were young, though, so your Korean is limited. I would go with some obscure European country that probably has good shopping and an obscure culture that will make you unique. Like Sweden. That way you can pretend to know a language they don't know, that isn't Asian (all Asian people hate Asian people from other Asian countries, but that is obvious). Exotic.

2. Speak less and choose your words carefully. Speaking too much is a sign that you care too much. Being overly excited or hateful towards something does too. You are only allowed to hate all things Americans, Chinese, Japanese, and bad clothes/accessories/hairstyles from now on. Everything else is to be treated with indifference.

4. Study up on your kpop. You can't be left out of the loop - the media is your source for everything. Latest styles, gossip, suicides, everything. Here you go.

5. The same disinterest they showed to you - that is how you have to treat them, at first at least. No more of that... Wait you're not white, so I can't say yellow fever... Well, anyway, you know what I am talking about. The second you show them that you want them badly, they know that you are not worth their time, because any man that gives them so much attention is clearly below them.

I hope this helps. FIGHTING!



Man as a Chinese man who has seen this mythical fascination with Koreans I laughed so hard at this because it was a phase I somewhat went through in high school. The Gatsby, the clothes with bright contrasting colors. Haha man, silly times.
emperorchampion
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada9496 Posts
June 20 2011 11:05 GMT
#40
Hahaha, ILOVEKITTENS so gosu~
TRUEESPORTS || your days as a respected member of team liquid are over
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