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Today I find myself standing nervously very near the edge of my world. That ever expanding line between what I know, and what I don't. The world that I know is not happy or satisfying, but the familiar always has a way of drawing me. Like a security blanket that shackles my ankles to constant disappointment.
I realise while pacing anxiously on this line that what I want and what comforts and safety I have now exist in entirely different realms, and that those realms can never combine. Yet what I want I am not entirely sure can become reality. The scope of my intellect seems to detect just three realms. The realm that I know, that is dissatisfying, the realm of my desires, that is imaginary, and the realm of the unknown, that breeds my anxiety. The realm of my imagination cannot combine with the realm that I know. The realm of the unknown can, but could also bring about a world far worse than the one that is known.
So I continue to stand, teetering on the edge of my reality. Everything in my being tells me to leave this world. Everything except my heart, which seems to be tearing at the seams, pulled by strings in different directions; To each thing from my world that I now sacrifice, and to my dreams in the opposite direction. The pain is intense, yet it is exactly what I want. I want my passage into the unknown world to change me, to tear me apart until I am unrecognizable. For better, I hope, for mediocrity, I dread, for worse, I fear.
I will let go.
 
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Katowice25012 Posts
I was hoping this was about the game. I am leaving disappointed.
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Everybody goes through the same things. It's what growing up is all about.
Just wait it out, and it'll all be worth it.
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I don't really know what to say. Without context, it's just pretty existential prose. Hopefully you manage to reconcile or at least live with your problems.
Maybe this will interest you. A possibly similar outlook on life?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Absurdism
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Oh no! Don't kill yourself. We @ tl need you, your wit and your ever expanding line of knowledge. 5/5stars will read again.
I love the picture. So archaic with a subtle tinge of melancholy. A fallen tree to shadow your fallen soul.
You are still a young buck. You have lots ahead of yourself. Spend less time sulking/writing prose no publisher will ever read and more time enjoying TL.
Just remember, your family loves you. As do we. What is a TL without chef?
I saved my 666 post to post this.
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Go on ICcup and beat a B+ korean using the stove strategy. You'll feel 10x better. Guaranteed.
But seriously, what PH said.
On July 31 2009 13:29 PH wrote:
Just wait it out, and it'll all be worth it.
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United States24776 Posts
Is this a reflection of how you feel, or just you writing? What kind of responses are you looking for?
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you know it's an emo blog because it's randomly vague while trying to sound deep, and there's a dark picture of a log in water to accent the emo-ness.
kudos.
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Hong Kong20321 Posts
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On July 31 2009 13:27 heyoka wrote:
I was hoping this was about the game. I am leaving disappointed.
Eh that's an old game o,o
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need some context man. as is your blog is just a bunch of trite, vague calls for help? "im at the edge of my world"? not sure what that means.
do 15 push-ups, smoke a joint, listen to your favorite song (unless its depressive emo shit), beat-off, then go outside and do 15 more pushups.. i promise after that you will be a tad more cheerful.
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YESSS GOGO LOOSE THAT VIRGINITY!!!!!!!1wunwunshiftone
its not that scary, they usually dont have teeth down there.
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On July 31 2009 14:17 Railxp wrote:
YESSS GOGO LOOSE THAT VIRGINITY!!!!!!!1wunwunshiftone
its not that scary, they usually dont have teeth down there.
Did your parents not teach you about pillow pants?
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On July 31 2009 14:17 Railxp wrote:
YESSS GOGO LOOSE THAT VIRGINITY!!!!!!!1wunwunshiftone
its not that scary, they usually dont have teeth down there.
then how do they feed
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Go find a bigass cliff with water at the bottom.
Make sure its safe to jump off of.
Then look over it for a while until you're nervous as hell. Write all the pussy shit thats between you and what you want on a piece of paper. When you decide you're gonna live for yourself, jump off the cliff. Leave the soggy piece of paper behind in the water.
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On July 31 2009 14:17 Railxp wrote:
YESSS GOGO LOOSE THAT VIRGINITY!!!!!!!1wunwunshiftone
its not that scary, they usually dont have teeth down there.
dude dont even lie about shit like that
on the other hand ; chef grow some balls man
TL loves you. You are one of the most gifted writers on TL.
I had a blast reading your Stove rush article ; and had a blast reading your "handwriting anaylsis" thread.
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You started a new sentence after a semi colon, Chef... I can sense that you are not long for this world making rookie mistakes like that!
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too many idiots on TL :/
On July 31 2009 13:34 kdog3683 wrote: Spend less time sulking/writing prose no publisher will ever read and more time enjoying TL.
silly advise, "yeah don't try being creative, because you're not gonna make money out of it" I mean there can't be any point in it if you don't get any money out of it right...
(though you're not one of the idiots I meant)
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