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Noir York

Blogs > shotz
Post a Reply
shotz
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States122 Posts
July 24 2009 21:42 GMT
#1
So in seizing new opportunities on the internet, and also in lieu of the stories and one noir-type short I saw on TL before by A3something, I decided to try it out.

A story:

Felt between my fingers is like the grass you play in when you worry more about catching caterpillars and slugs by either their head or tail.

Caterpillars, fat as pie, making their way across the rancor.

Slugs, leeches and lovers–they all suck, suck good and hard.

Babies suck. But first you suck me in. Then, we suck the goddamn bugger out of you.

There’s a man sitting next to me. He raises a white stick to his mouth and out comes smoke from every orifice of his body. I ask him to wait. He pauses. Then he pretends as if he hadn’t heard.

The stack of chips in front of me dwindles into nothing but felt. I guess that’s what they mean when they say “make a molehill out of a mountain.”

Or was it the other way around?

The window opens. So does the mouth of the man next to me. Out pours smoke. I ask him to open wider. Then I peer inside.

A big fat caterpillar dangling from his throat.

http://edwardhong.wordpress.com/

*
the cat within
micronesia
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States24743 Posts
July 24 2009 22:30 GMT
#2
I was reading this to the person sitting next to me and they were pleading for me to stop and said "I don't know what I've done"
ModeratorThere are animal crackers for people and there are people crackers for animals.
fanatacist
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
10319 Posts
July 24 2009 22:35 GMT
#3
On July 25 2009 07:30 micronesia wrote:
I was reading this to the person sitting next to me and they were pleading for me to stop and said "I don't know what I've done"

LOL
Peace~
shotz
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States122 Posts
July 24 2009 22:38 GMT
#4
lol... no good?
the cat within
fanatacist
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
10319 Posts
July 24 2009 22:39 GMT
#5
I don't know anything about modern art or "noir" stories or "abstract" writing, but I find micronesia's comment hilarious.

Good that you tried to open up after years of silence though.
Peace~
floor exercise
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
Canada5847 Posts
July 24 2009 22:44 GMT
#6
I don't know if it's "noir."

It would probably be better classified as non-sequitur, or bad
Ingenol
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States1328 Posts
July 24 2009 22:54 GMT
#7
Keep writing, I'm sure you'll improve!
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