Go to school, get homework done, play some Starcraft, then go to sleep. This cycle has been repeating for the past three or so years. Social life? Bah! Who needs drama. Girlfriends? Unfortunately my reputation at school was ruined after an "incident" I had with one of my ex-girlfriends. (No, it has nothing to do with penis size). But life is just simple as pie for me. Little things make me happy.
That all changed when I met Deenan. Now, for someone to be friendly and actually want to take the time to get to know me just feels like the most rewarding experience ever. No one really ever wanted to know who I really was or what I am like. Deenan was different. He'd spend hours a night just listening to what was on my mind - just quietly sitting there, staring at me intensively, taking in every word I was saying. For him, it seemed as if there was no "boring, lonely, apathetic" teenager that everyone else saw. He saw something different in me.
It is in my personal nature to be a bit clumsy and rash. Often I make mistakes without thinking, making a fool of myself. Deenan did more than forgive me... he never once put it against me. No matter what happened he was never ashamed of being around me, or, at least, never showed it. Like, this one time, I was trying to shuffle my poker cards and clumsy as always, something didn't go quite right and they flew all over the floor. Sure, I looked like a total retard scurrying on the floor picking them up. But Deenan didn't walk away. He actually stood by and just smiled, like nothing ever happened.
Even the bigger mistakes would not make him flinch. There were times when I made really bad decisions that I regret. He must have been disappointed in me... but he never showed it. He was always there for support, whether I knew it or not at the time. Some nights my bipolar disorder got extremely out of control and my emotions would just go into a submission mode to the point that I was ready to kill myself. But then, Deenan was there, and our eyes would meet up. And I would feel like the most guiltiest person on the face of the Earth.
The little moments just meant so much to me. But, as of Thursday, May 21st, Deenan is no more. Rest in peace Deenan. And may I meet someone as special as you again one day. You've meant the world to me.
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What do these little shits eat anyways?