EPT
Almost a month and a half ago I've moved up to a new place. I was quite looking forward to it, because before that I lived alone and this is not the most exciting way of living for a student. Yes, it has the upsides, but being with other ppl of your age is very educational while studying abroad. You just get to know closer other cultures and stuff, I wont get into that, you know what I mean.
So the girl next door happened to be a cute german girl, and it turned out very fast that we share almost the same interests, music taste, hobbies etc. Ofc its always easy to get along with a person like that, you just skip all the sometimes boring conversations, which you occasionally make with the idea to find out what the other person is like.
It took us less than a week to step our short relationship to the next level. Ofc when smth like this happens that fast you realize this may turn out to be the wrong thing, which ofc is the case in my short story. As you may have guessed there was absolutely no drama in the breaking up, because there weren't any strong feelings in first place.
I find the girl, which actually turned out to be almost 4 years older than me, very nice, I mean, I'm already for almost 2 years in Germany and thou I got to know a lot of ppl from different nationalities I was struggling to find a person which I thought was that interesting. I was actually quite happy because of this chic, she reminds me more or less of my old friends in high school. So screw the sexual stuff, I cant really complain about having no sex for a long periods in the last years, so this happens to be about smth else.
The problem is, and the main reason, why I'm making this post is my...overall confusion. I'm confused because after we peacefully broke up, she limited her communication with me to a minimum. Ofc she keeps stating I'm a handsome looking,very interesting and etc. etc. guy, but when she comes by to visit me its always about needing smth, like a pen, vac cleaner and stuff. I'm showing her my best and friendly intentions, but I started feeling bad about this awkward situation and talked to her, that its not normal to avoid/ignore me like that. After all I did no bad to her, we live next to each other and on top of all, we have a really good time when we are together.
So I tried to explain her whats wrong with the hole thing for me, but I'm not sure she understands what I mean. Last week she visited some old friend of her and now she thinks I felt jealous in some way because of that, which is apparently not the case. I dont care even if she slept with him, because this trip happened after we decided that its out of place for us to have a relationship. As an excuse for her behavior she said that she's been busy quite a lot these days and bottom line she feels sorry about not being able to spend more time with me.
Well I'm still not getting you, sweetheart. All I want from her is to come every once and while, say "hi,sup", it takes less than a 5 mins to have a nice warm friendly conversation, she cant be THAT busy. I would ofc gladly have a walk with her, watch a movie or smth, the usual friendly stuff... As I said I'm very confused because this is like my first german gf and thou we got and occasionally split in a short period of time (we were like 4 weeks or so together), I thought we dont have the burden of some strong feelings and that we could easily keep up developing some sort of friendship, because to me it seemed and still seems we get along really well.
The great Jeremy Clarkson once said that the british food is more or less like the german love. Still I dont quite get the easygoingness and on the other side the coldness. Well, we are not at school anymore, by the age of 21-24 you have some relationships behind your back, some successful others not, but the point is, you already know how to "cooperate" with the other sex, what should be the normal and acceptable behavior after such a short and sex-based affair. But what happened in the case with this girl is in my eyes wrong. I hope this is not typical and that maybe other german girls might keep up being very kind and friendly after you just like broke up with them. After all we are on our way of becoming adults and part of this process is for me, to be crystal clear with what you feel, how must you express it and what you should keep in mind while communicating with another person.
We all have stuff to do and ofc some things are far more important than having sex for some time with some guy you got to know a month ago. And for me it will be great to try to make the every day communication with the ppl around you a bit more easy...friendly, even relaxing. Nothing more.
