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Hey guys... I'm in the need of some serious help. Really need sound advice, no bullshit. I'm 19, not 13.
I'll start the story at the beginning. About 2 years ago, April 22nd, 2007, I decided to ask this girl out. The usual works with that until about May 2008, we were absolutely amazing together. Fuckin perfect couple, everybody said it, everybody knew it. Our friends were jealous of us and all that gay shit. In december of 2007, I decided to join the United States Army. I joined it for a number of reasons, a career option, college money, self-pride, and partly because I thought she was the one. I wanted to set up our life so that it would be amazing the whole time, blah blah. Everything was fine until July 2008, when my time came to ship off to boot camp, and job training. My best friend at the time, who enlisted me in the Army, knew of our situation and the way my gf was taking to the whole situation. She didn't want me to leave, but she knew I was doing it for a good cause, and I was to only be gone 8 months. My best friend at the time, he was my best friend... I thought I could trust him. He, also a soldier, I thought I could count on him to take care of my gf while I was gone, as in, make sure she wasn't going to do retarded shit like hurt herself, etc etc. Well, they started getting really close while I was gone, and I figured out once I graduated boot camp and moved onto job training that they had cheated on me with each other numerous times while I was gone.. I found this out when I got home, about 2 weeks ago. Obviously I ended it and all that good shit, but now my ex best friend is home from job training of his own and they are hanging out constantly. It is fucking tearing me up inside, I dont know what to do or anything and I can't stop being jealous of it. I truthfully want to beat his ass, but I'm going to be the bigger man, the better soldier, and not touch him.
Please, any advice is greatly appreciated... I'm really struggling here..
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perhaps its better to move on and go find a new girl...?
forgive and forget i think...
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That's called a good lesson learned on your ability to judge character.
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Stop talking to him.
Stop talking to her.
Move on with your life.
Live and learn.
Play more BW.
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omg dude..... That is bad O_O;;; You even remember the EXACT date you asked her out...lol...
Your situation really reminds me of the great gatsby by fitzgerald...
I really think women lose feelings for you when you're gone for a long time, they sorta forget the feeling they got hooked on by being around you, and thus cheated. Try not to take it too personal, and yes be the bigger man, don't act in rage, be secure...
Good luck dude.
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Dude that sucks so bad, your "best friend" is a douche though. Did he do this on purpose? And how did you find out?
Btw this reminds me of the movie Pearl Harbor.
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i know how this feels man, youre not the only one thats gone through a situation in which your best friend is hooking up with your girl
best thing id recommend you do is try to talk to your girl and see whats up, but what everybody says: once a cheater, always a cheater. if she truly was the one she wouldve waited for you no matter what.
ive known bitchy girls that are extremely fucking loyal to their bfs even if they live separated in two different countries and the only times they see each other is during vacations, etc. this amazes me, and honestly, thats a girl to live for.
if she left you, just know that there are a billion other chicks out there
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Baltimore, USA22261 Posts
On March 18 2009 12:43 Fallen33 wrote:
Hey guys... I'm in the need of some serious help. Really need sound advice, no bullshit. I'm 19, not 13.
Not to be too much of a dick, but to be honest, there is little difference between 13 and 19 when it comes to girls/relationships.
The best piece of advice I can give is for you to realize that she clearly was NOT what you thought she was. This bit is obvious because of what she did to you; and it's obvious that you are NOT over it because you're letting it bother you so much. Until you realize this, it's going to bug the hell out of you everytime you see them.
Go out, meet new women. You'll probably have to go through a few before you find 'the one' of course, but each one is a learning experience.
Edit - Saw some of the replies, and to be honest, I think they're a bit too soft/empathetic. I'll say something that might actually hit home:
Man the fuck up.
Like I said, not trying to be a dick, but I think you'll know what I mean.
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ur bf definatly don't know the meaning of Bros before Hoes.
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Sorry bro, no advice but lots of sympathy.
Actually here's some:
Even though you are currently in love with her (strong emotions), at least your friend revealed a personality weakness in her that could have been hidden otherwise. I mean what if you had married her then years later when you have kids she cheats on you. Then what? Ugly divorce and kids suffer the consequences of her stupid decisions. Custody battles, single parenthood, the whole deal.
Because this happened now, you are spared REAL agony later. Look at it that way.
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On March 18 2009 12:49 EsX_Raptor wrote:
but what everybody says: once a cheater, always a cheater.
I don't think that's true. But since she already cheated multiple times on you and it doesn't seem like she wants you back or even regrets it...yeah forget her. You will be over them in 2 weeks or maybe 1 month and life is good again.
Btw: I think being a soldier is a bad career path if you can't stand being cheated on 
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On March 18 2009 12:53 EvilTeletubby wrote:Show nested quote +On March 18 2009 12:43 Fallen33 wrote:
Hey guys... I'm in the need of some serious help. Really need sound advice, no bullshit. I'm 19, not 13. Not to be too much of a dick, but to be honest, there is little difference between 13 and 19 when it comes to girls/relationships.
But the difference between 19 and 29 would be that at 19 you think about your own pain, and at 29 you think about how your kids got hurt by the bad outcome.
The first type of pain is preferable.
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You just have to move on and accept it will take lots of time for your emotions to heal. As Savio said, at least you found out her true nature relatively early on.
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The best revenge against a cheating girlfriend is to let the guy keep her.
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I know it hurts right now..but in all honesty...u weeded out the whore. Please excuse my language. I heard that in a stand up bit or something...i forget. But all im saying is what most people have told u. she clearly was not the one. And its better u found out now...than after u had kids or something...can u imagine what that would be like?
if she really really loved u...she would have waited...u clearly loved her...as im assuming u didnt cheat?
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On March 18 2009 13:04 Mooga wrote:
The best revenge against a cheating girlfriend is to let the guy keep her.
lol gg
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On March 18 2009 12:58 Savio wrote:
Sorry bro, no advice but lots of sympathy.
Actually here's some:
Even though you are currently in love with her (strong emotions), at least your friend revealed a personality weakness in her that could have been hidden otherwise. I mean what if you had married her then years later when you have kids she cheats on you. Then what? Ugly divorce and kids suffer the consequences of her stupid decisions. Custody battles, single parenthood, the whole deal.
Because this happened now, you are spared REAL agony later. Look at it that way.
Wow, that is good advice seriously
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yeah good shit savio.
Of course i'm not over it, I THOUGHT I was coming home to a perfect life lol
i only been home about 3 weeks...
I mean you all make valid points, idk exactly how she feels because she cried for like a day after I broke up with her..
I found out by just asking, she said she regretted it and she basically came right out and said it..
and YPang, I even remember the time and place and what she wore, LOL 
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this
On March 18 2009 12:53 EvilTeletubby wrote:
Not to be too much of a dick, but to be honest, there is little difference between 13 and 19 when it comes to girls/relationships.
Man the fuck up.
Like I said, not trying to be a dick, but I think you'll know what I mean.
also, dont do the mistake i see most people do and make things a bigger deal and more complicated than what they in reality are (yes i know its a big deal etc but be open minded). as its been pointed out, it might have happened later. in these situaitons is where you gotta figure out what you want and she wants, i assume she's gonna try to get back together with you or at least be friends and pretend like nothing ever happened, something along those lines, which is just as bad. you gotta try to see if it was something she did it intentionally and would do it again or if it was a moment of weakness (the latter is rare)
edit: did this in a hurry right before going to bed, please dont mind the very possible grammatical errors
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It will take some time to get over it. Finding another girl helps the most... even if its just a rebound.
No quick way to recovery here. Over time you will gradually lose the attachment. Find some hobbies, party with your buddies, and keep yourself busy.
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Prolly the best thing actually is for u to B ur L on some T's. This will help alot....trust me.
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My IRL friends are going on a road trip this summer. They're going to hit the southwest area (Austin) and some other area in the country.
I say you fly the fuck down here and have a fucking blast with us.
On March 18 2009 13:46 brad3104 wrote:
Prolly the best thing actually if for u to B ur L on some T's. This will help alot....trust me.
Made me lol
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the problem is though I mean like I said I'm just coming off active duty... all my buddies are scattered around the globe lol and all my High school buddies are scattered around at colleges and/or in the military... it's been tough to just get some plans let alone enjoy a night .. meh
thanks everybody
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You don't see them hanging out constantly because he isn't your friend anymore, right? Just don't let it bother you. Just wondering, did you ask her why she cheated?
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Because she wanted a P in her V? and her bf was gone? Some girls just cant be faithful...
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no, but I have a feeling that the reason was she was feeling alone, depressed because I left and all that, and he kind of took advantage of it.. dunno though
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On March 18 2009 13:16 Fallen33 wrote:yeah good shit savio. Of course i'm not over it, I THOUGHT I was coming home to a perfect life lol i only been home about 3 weeks... I mean you all make valid points, idk exactly how she feels because she cried for like a day after I broke up with her.. I found out by just asking, she said she regretted it and she basically came right out and said it.. and YPang, I even remember the time and place and what she wore, LOL
Eh fuck it bro. Things will look up for no reason and when they do you will feel good. Once you start feeling good just keep on at it. Nothing will change between you two from now and then so might as well feel good now.
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Being alone and depressed is no reason to get cocked by ur boyfriends best friend...she could hang out with her friends, read a book, get a hobby, spend time with family..etc etc...It's pretty simple...like i said...she just wanted to have sex...and be with someone else.
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Sadly you simply need to move on. It sucks balls, I know. I had a very similar situation happen to me with a girl I was with for 4 years, cheating on me for over a year and weird shit like that. It tears you up for a very long time, and it feels like the pain is too much and will never go away.
A part of you dies and grows numb. When a friend told me this I became scared at the thought.. But I kept thinking about it. I kept thinking of them together. It hurt. A lot. But after a few months, the thought didn't hurt as much. Months after that, I could think about it without much care at all. A year later and I can look back and laugh at the ludicrousness of it.
The pain does go away. A part of you dies, the part of you that is so attached to her. The pain grows weaker and weaker with time. Eventually it will stop hurting, I promise.
It's really, really, really gay. I'm sorry to hear it happened to you. I wish you the best of luck. And as many other have mentioned, reliable, consuming hobbies can really help with speeding up the process.
Goodluck buddy.
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On March 18 2009 14:04 Fallen33 wrote:
no, but I have a feeling that the reason was she was feeling alone, depressed because I left and all that, and he kind of took advantage of it.. dunno though
You can't trust her. You never will be able to after that. nomatter how much you WANT to be able to trust her, you never, ever, ever would be able to. You seriously have to detach. Even if certain circumstances pushed her closer to making bad decisions, she still did it.
I've literally felt exactly like how to describe. I was so torn up. I was talking to my friend saying "maybe, I drove her to do what she did. Maybe it was all my fucking fault."
My best friend in the world then looked at me and said
"No. Nomatter what she could have done, you never would have done that to her. That's the difference between you and her. You would never do that to her. You need to be with someone who would never do that to you."
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last time i checked a gun solves lots of problems..................
......and creates new ones. but at least you wouldn't have the same problems anymore.
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What I've done in the past in similar situations was go alcoholic for days, weeks, even one time two months at a time...all the while pissing off and annoying my good friends. Don't do what I do.
Luckily, I haven't been fucked over seriously by anyone too close to me as of yet...and hope to god it doesn't ever happen.
This kind of thing is definitely a downer, though. You probably won't ever get over it, especially if you were as emotionally invested as you seem to have been. To some extent, there will be a little bit lingering.
The best solution (though, like mentioned above, it won't be a complete one) is to wait until you find a new girl...another one you can focus all your energy on. She was a cunt...you can find someone who will treat you better as well.
As for your former best friend...fuck him. He's a douche.
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it's better that she cheated you now than some years later
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This is why the only person you can trust is yourself.
Fuck everyone else.
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On March 18 2009 15:09 freelander wrote:
it's better that she cheated you now than some years later
I agree with this and what Savio said. She saved you all the time and energy you would have spent on her that you can now spend on someone who has some modicum of self control and respect toward you.
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Gotta let him on a bootcamp while you look over the girl for him
awesome? :D
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Same thing happened to me.
How I handled it? Turned all my frustrations on becoming successful. 5 years later, every time she looks at my new girl with a 14k rock on her finger, the look her face is golden.
Or sometimes the best revenge is to continue being nice, and let her suffer even more for knowing she was such a bitch to such a good guy.
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easier said than done but the solution is obvious. Stop thinking that she is THE ONE and realize that theres plenty of fish in the sea.
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Revenge is like the sweetest joy next to gettin' pussy.
You know what to do.
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Sounds like you should put your military training to work on his neck
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haha, thanks guys, actually did help a bit giving me a few laughs and some pretty sound advice here and there.. I'll definently try to apply some of it to what's going on, just know I'm pretty through with her so I'm not going back. I refuse, even though it does burn to say it. Thanks yall
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EPT
