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Saw this on StumbleUpon, they update math. All of these are obviously jokes.
* Pi now equals exactly 3.
* e now equals exactly 2.
* Fixed problem where division by zero led to undefined results.
* Fixed spelling mistake in description of Pythagorean theorem.
* Various optimisations now mean that all problems can be solved in polynomial time.
* The term “negative number” has been deemed offensive. The term “non-positive non-zero number” is now in use.
* Various optimisations now mean that all problems can be solved in polynomial time.
* Support is no longer offered for Imaginary Number Feature (i).
* Fixed problem where 1 = .999…
* Now compatible with Microsoft products (65536 <> 65535 <> 100000).
* Fixed problem that lead to the Axiom of Choice being undecidable.
* Implemented L’Hopital’s rule for non-indeterminate forms.
* Groups are now required to be abelian; former groups will now be called groupites.
* Fixed the Banach-Tarski cloning glitch.
* Removed the Proof By Contradiction exploit. <-- lol at this
* Users may now enter the paradise Cantor created for us for a nominal monthly fee.
* Basic arithmetic is now complete and consistent.
* Fractals have been smoothed out to improve rendering.
* All matrices are now invertible, former matrices are now called matrons.
* Cantor’s dust has been swept from the servers.
* New valid method of proof: Proof by Example.
* All incompleteness theorems are now false. Anything can be proven or disproven.
* The halting problem is decidable.
* Anything can be written as an elementary function if we go far enough in calling something elementary.
* The Riemann Hypothesis is false. <-- Hahahaha!
* The Collatz Conjecture is false.
* Calculus now consists of only addition and subtraction.
* Fixed known bug where Fermat’s Last Theorem failed to hold for n=1 or n=2.
* Due to customer complaints about other implementations, the natural numbers now start at -1.
* After a successful beta test in category theory, proof by diagram chasing is now applicable across all of mathematics.
* During extended server downtime, problems will now slowly solve themselves, simulating the progress you would have been making.
* Fixed bug where large cardinals failed to show up in certain models of ZFC.
* Mobius Strip fixed to have two sides. (How about the Klein Bottle?)
* Infinity has been nerfed to constant value of 1,000,000.
* Negative numbers now use differently colored numbers to reduce confusion.
* All numbers above 3 are now a suffusion of yellow.
* Subtraction has been removed, however it is still available on special subtraction servers.
* New Axiom: Axiom of Clarity. If after explaining a proof to someone for 5 minutes, if they still do not understand, they may use the Axiom of Clarity to assert the existence of a proof that your proof is invalid.
* In response to demand, elegant proofs of certain theorems have been shortened that they may fit into the margins of books as commentary.
* Research has shown that random numbers along a finite distribution were unfairly biased towards the digit one over other digits. This has been fixed.
* We are proud to unveil a new kind of super-calculus, which requires twenty people to complete even the most rudimentary calculations over a period of hours of collaborative work. We feel this new math will challenge those at the higher-end of the profession.
* New, epic applications of super-calculus have been implemented as well.
* “Proof by Wikipedia” is now a valid form of proof. (This)
* Feature: Uniform probability measure for the real line has been added. Expect support for other spaces in subsequent versions.
* For a small monthly fee, all infinite series can be summed. All users will be allowed to use that 1 + 2 + 3 + … = -1/12 for a trial period of week.
* The math servers are going down soon to make way for the new BioWare math.
* Russell’s Paradox fixed - sets can now include themselves and not include themselves at the same time.
* For usability, numbers of the form a+bi have been made less complex.
* All “maths” not involving numbers has been split off into daughter projects so that Maths 2.1.2 can now fit in one brain.
* Everyone finally understands how abbreviations and number work, and now the singular word “mathematics” is properly abbreviated “math” worldwide.
* For improved security, several composite numbers have been defined as “unfactorisable” for use as RSA keys.
* Probability distributions standardised to all return proven random number “4″.
* 1/0 now equals infinity+1
* All powers of i beyond 7 have been fixed to equal 1, -1, i, and -i where needed.
* Symbol now designated for infinity to the power of infinity.
* Method for calculating roots and fractional powers available as open source code
* Halting problem solved.
* Halting problem of above solver solved.
* Halting problem of above solver solved as well.
* Halting problem of how many halting problem solvers we’ll need solved.
* Paradoxes that arise from above solver’s solution solved.
* Halting problem of… oh god, it’s an infinite cycle!
  
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Finally, math is now complete.
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Fixed known bug where Fermat’s Last Theorem failed to hold for n=1 or n=2.
Removed the Proof By Contradiction exploit.
I liked these two best.
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Only algebra jokes could be worse.
:>
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I wish I understood these...the ones that I did understand were funny...haha.
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On March 15 2009 19:19 PH wrote:
I wish I understood these...the ones that I did understand were funny...haha.
well, you can still get the part where infinity was nerfed to a constant value of 1 million. 
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Kentor
United States5784 Posts
Fixed known bug where Fermat’s Last Theorem failed to hold for n=1 or n=2.
lol
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Northern Ireland22208 Posts
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Sorry but what is Fermat's Last Theorem? I think I missed it. I know calculus but what is Fermats Last Theorem?
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On March 15 2009 21:10 Infinity.SkyLark wrote:
Sorry but what is Fermat's Last Theorem? I think I missed it. I know calculus but what is Fermats Last Theorem?
a^n + b^n =/= c^n for any integers values of a,b, or c for all integer n > 2
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On March 15 2009 22:16 naonao wrote:Show nested quote +On March 15 2009 21:10 Infinity.SkyLark wrote:
Sorry but what is Fermat's Last Theorem? I think I missed it. I know calculus but what is Fermats Last Theorem? a^n + b^n =/= c^n for any integers values of a,b, or c for all integer n > 2
cool, thanks.
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I have to wonder why they made the Riemann Hypothesis false...it's like they WANT to introduce bugs into their functions.
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Maybe it's just me, but I didn't find these funny at all..
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ROFLOL that is the funniest thing ive read in a long time. Im crying with laughter hahah :DDD
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Cayman Islands24199 Posts
infinity is still too imba
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The Chain rule now applies to constant exponents.. and the answer is always one.
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Lol at halting problem and NP complete jokes
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lol. My favorite is: "The term “negative number” has been deemed offensive. The term “non-positive non-zero number” is now in use."
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* Removed the Proof By Contradiction exploit.
* New valid method of proof: Proof by Example.
* After a successful beta test in category theory, proof by diagram chasing is now applicable across all of mathematics.
* Infinity has been nerfed to constant value of 1,000,000.
* In response to demand, elegant proofs of certain theorems have been shortened that they may fit into the margins of books as commentary.
* “Proof by Wikipedia” is now a valid form of proof.
These made me laugh. ahahaha proof by example ahahahaha.
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* All powers of i beyond 7 have been fixed to equal 1, -1, i, and -i where needed.
i don't get it O_o
others were pretty funny tho =p
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Baa?21244 Posts
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* For a small monthly fee, all infinite series can be summed. All users will be allowed to use that 1 + 2 + 3 + … = -1/12 for a trial period of week.
That one was awesome
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I'm still wondering if the "All of these are obviously jokes" is actually necessary...
And infinity +1... = 1,000,001.
WOW I just solved math.
On March 16 2009 10:13 JeeJee wrote:
* All powers of i beyond 7 have been fixed to equal 1, -1, i, and -i where needed.
i don't get it O_o
others were pretty funny tho =p
Simple actually...
i = sqrt(-1)
i^1 = i
i^2 = -1
i^3 = -i
i^4 = 1
i^5 = i
And this loops forever.
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Pretty funny, but IMO they could have done better by being consistent at the expense of a few jokes.
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I showed this to my classmates and they I think they forgot to read the part where I stated that these were jokes, and they were distraught.
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On March 17 2009 11:26 Archaic wrote:I'm still wondering if the "All of these are obviously jokes" is actually necessary... And infinity +1... = 1,000,001. WOW I just solved math. Show nested quote +On March 16 2009 10:13 JeeJee wrote:
* All powers of i beyond 7 have been fixed to equal 1, -1, i, and -i where needed.
i don't get it O_o
others were pretty funny tho =p Simple actually... i = sqrt(-1) i^1 = i i^2 = -1 i^3 = -i i^4 = 1 i^5 = i And this loops forever.
yes i'm aware of that
i'm not aware how this is a joke. where's the 'fix'? isn't it always like this. why beyond 7?
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Implemented L’Hopital’s rule for non-indeterminate forms.
my personal favorite
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is awesome32277 Posts
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Math is balanced now imo. Actually fuck it, wheres 2.1.3
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On March 18 2009 11:29 Fontong wrote:my personal favorite
Yeah that one is gold, hahaha.
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I didnt understand most of them. Do I need to be a Math Major or it is just the language barrier? T_T
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On March 25 2009 05:55 fishyjoes wrote:
I didnt understand most of them. Do I need to be a Math Major or it is just the language barrier? T_T
Uhh, I don't know about the other guys but now that you mentioned it, you might need to know Differential and Integral Calculus to get to understand most of them.
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Will ICC stick with v2 or?
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favs <3
On March 15 2009 17:16 Infinity.SkyLark wrote:
* New valid method of proof: Proof by Example.
* All incompleteness theorems are now false. Anything can be proven or disproven.
* The halting problem is decidable.
* Anything can be written as an elementary function if we go far enough in calling something elementary.
* Fixed known bug where Fermat’s Last Theorem failed to hold for n=1 or n=2.
* Due to customer complaints about other implementations, the natural numbers now start at -1.
* After a successful beta test in category theory, proof by diagram chasing is now applicable across all of mathematics.
* During extended server downtime, problems will now slowly solve themselves, simulating the progress you would have been making.
* Infinity has been nerfed to constant value of 1,000,000.
* Negative numbers now use differently colored numbers to reduce confusion.
* All numbers above 3 are now a suffusion of yellow.
* Subtraction has been removed, however it is still available on special subtraction servers.
* New Axiom: Axiom of Clarity. If after explaining a proof to someone for 5 minutes, if they still do not understand, they may use the Axiom of Clarity to assert the existence of a proof that your proof is invalid.
* In response to demand, elegant proofs of certain theorems have been shortened that they may fit into the margins of books as commentary.
* Research has shown that random numbers along a finite distribution were unfairly biased towards the digit one over other digits. This has been fixed.
* We are proud to unveil a new kind of super-calculus, which requires twenty people to complete even the most rudimentary calculations over a period of hours of collaborative work. We feel this new math will challenge those at the higher-end of the profession.
* New, epic applications of super-calculus have been implemented as well.
* For a small monthly fee, all infinite series can be summed. All users will be allowed to use that 1 + 2 + 3 + … = -1/12 for a trial period of week.
* For improved security, several composite numbers have been defined as “unfactorisable” for use as RSA keys.
ROFL
* Halting problem solved.
* Halting problem of above solver solved.
* Halting problem of above solver solved as well.
* Halting problem of how many halting problem solvers we’ll need solved. (inifinity =D)
* Paradoxes that arise from above solver’s solution solved.
* Halting problem of… oh god, it’s an infinite cycle!
ROFL... just rofl
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this is why u take calculus obviously
lol @ L'hopital
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Haha why does this thread keep getting bumped randomly?
Not that it is a bad thing.
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EPT
