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Mathematics V2.1.2

Blogs > Infinity.SkyLark
Post a Reply
1 2 Next All
SilverSkyLark
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Philippines8437 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-03-15 08:20:54
March 15 2009 08:16 GMT
#1
Saw this on StumbleUpon, they update math. All of these are obviously jokes.


* Pi now equals exactly 3.

* e now equals exactly 2.

* Fixed problem where division by zero led to undefined results.

* Fixed spelling mistake in description of Pythagorean theorem.

* Various optimisations now mean that all problems can be solved in polynomial time.

* The term “negative number” has been deemed offensive. The term “non-positive non-zero number” is now in use.

* Various optimisations now mean that all problems can be solved in polynomial time.

* Support is no longer offered for Imaginary Number Feature (i).

* Fixed problem where 1 = .999…

* Now compatible with Microsoft products (65536 <> 65535 <> 100000).

* Fixed problem that lead to the Axiom of Choice being undecidable.

* Implemented L’Hopital’s rule for non-indeterminate forms.

* Groups are now required to be abelian; former groups will now be called groupites.

* Fixed the Banach-Tarski cloning glitch.

* Removed the Proof By Contradiction exploit. <-- lol at this

* Users may now enter the paradise Cantor created for us for a nominal monthly fee.

* Basic arithmetic is now complete and consistent.

* Fractals have been smoothed out to improve rendering.

* All matrices are now invertible, former matrices are now called matrons.

* Cantor’s dust has been swept from the servers.

* New valid method of proof: Proof by Example.

* All incompleteness theorems are now false. Anything can be proven or disproven.

* The halting problem is decidable.

* Anything can be written as an elementary function if we go far enough in calling something elementary.

* The Riemann Hypothesis is false.
<-- Hahahaha!

* The Collatz Conjecture is false.

* Calculus now consists of only addition and subtraction.

* Fixed known bug where Fermat’s Last Theorem failed to hold for n=1 or n=2.

* Due to customer complaints about other implementations, the natural numbers now start at -1.

* After a successful beta test in category theory, proof by diagram chasing is now applicable across all of mathematics.

* During extended server downtime, problems will now slowly solve themselves, simulating the progress you would have been making.

* Fixed bug where large cardinals failed to show up in certain models of ZFC.

* Mobius Strip fixed to have two sides.
(How about the Klein Bottle?)

* Infinity has been nerfed to constant value of 1,000,000.

* Negative numbers now use differently colored numbers to reduce confusion.

* All numbers above 3 are now a suffusion of yellow.

* Subtraction has been removed, however it is still available on special subtraction servers.

* New Axiom: Axiom of Clarity. If after explaining a proof to someone for 5 minutes, if they still do not understand, they may use the Axiom of Clarity to assert the existence of a proof that your proof is invalid.

* In response to demand, elegant proofs of certain theorems have been shortened that they may fit into the margins of books as commentary.

* Research has shown that random numbers along a finite distribution were unfairly biased towards the digit one over other digits. This has been fixed.

* We are proud to unveil a new kind of super-calculus, which requires twenty people to complete even the most rudimentary calculations over a period of hours of collaborative work. We feel this new math will challenge those at the higher-end of the profession.

* New, epic applications of super-calculus have been implemented as well.

* “Proof by Wikipedia” is now a valid form of proof. (This)

* Feature: Uniform probability measure for the real line has been added. Expect support for other spaces in subsequent versions.

* For a small monthly fee, all infinite series can be summed. All users will be allowed to use that 1 + 2 + 3 + … = -1/12 for a trial period of week.

* The math servers are going down soon to make way for the new BioWare math.

* Russell’s Paradox fixed - sets can now include themselves and not include themselves at the same time.

* For usability, numbers of the form a+bi have been made less complex.

* All “maths” not involving numbers has been split off into daughter projects so that Maths 2.1.2 can now fit in one brain.

* Everyone finally understands how abbreviations and number work, and now the singular word “mathematics” is properly abbreviated “math” worldwide.

* For improved security, several composite numbers have been defined as “unfactorisable” for use as RSA keys.

* Probability distributions standardised to all return proven random number “4″.

* 1/0 now equals infinity+1

* All powers of i beyond 7 have been fixed to equal 1, -1, i, and -i where needed.

* Symbol now designated for infinity to the power of infinity.

* Method for calculating roots and fractional powers available as open source code

* Halting problem solved.

* Halting problem of above solver solved.

* Halting problem of above solver solved as well.

* Halting problem of how many halting problem solvers we’ll need solved.

* Paradoxes that arise from above solver’s solution solved.

* Halting problem of… oh god, it’s an infinite cycle!


***
"If i lost an arm, I would play w3." -IntoTheWow || "Member of Hyuk Hyuk Hyuk cafe. He's the next Jaedong, baby!"
DoX.)
Profile Joined December 2008
Singapore6164 Posts
March 15 2009 08:46 GMT
#2
LOL
fight_or_flight
Profile Blog Joined June 2007
United States3988 Posts
March 15 2009 08:53 GMT
#3
Finally, math is now complete.
Do you really want chat rooms?
Shuffleus
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Australia764 Posts
March 15 2009 09:02 GMT
#4
ahahahahaha
| QuanticGaming.com | There is no greater feeling then to find order in the chaos, as you slip the puzzle pieces in place.
Vivi57
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
United States6599 Posts
March 15 2009 09:27 GMT
#5
LOL

this is a gem.
Flash hwaiting! Nal_rA forever!
Nytefish
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
United Kingdom4282 Posts
March 15 2009 09:27 GMT
#6
Fixed known bug where Fermat’s Last Theorem failed to hold for n=1 or n=2.
Removed the Proof By Contradiction exploit.


I liked these two best.

No I'm never serious.
Boblion
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
France8043 Posts
March 15 2009 09:44 GMT
#7
Only algebra jokes could be worse.
:>
fuck all those elitists brb watching streams of elite players.
PH
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States6173 Posts
March 15 2009 10:19 GMT
#8
I wish I understood these...the ones that I did understand were funny...haha.
Hello
SilverSkyLark
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Philippines8437 Posts
March 15 2009 10:43 GMT
#9
On March 15 2009 19:19 PH wrote:
I wish I understood these...the ones that I did understand were funny...haha.

well, you can still get the part where infinity was nerfed to a constant value of 1 million.
"If i lost an arm, I would play w3." -IntoTheWow || "Member of Hyuk Hyuk Hyuk cafe. He's the next Jaedong, baby!"
Kentor *
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
United States5784 Posts
March 15 2009 10:53 GMT
#10
Fixed known bug where Fermat’s Last Theorem failed to hold for n=1 or n=2.

lol
ahswtini
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Northern Ireland22208 Posts
March 15 2009 11:30 GMT
#11
Hahaha :D
"As I've said, balance isn't about strategies or counters, it's about probability and statistics." - paralleluniverse
SilverSkyLark
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Philippines8437 Posts
March 15 2009 12:10 GMT
#12
Sorry but what is Fermat's Last Theorem? I think I missed it. I know calculus but what is Fermats Last Theorem?
"If i lost an arm, I would play w3." -IntoTheWow || "Member of Hyuk Hyuk Hyuk cafe. He's the next Jaedong, baby!"
naonao
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States847 Posts
March 15 2009 13:16 GMT
#13
On March 15 2009 21:10 Infinity.SkyLark wrote:
Sorry but what is Fermat's Last Theorem? I think I missed it. I know calculus but what is Fermats Last Theorem?

a^n + b^n =/= c^n for any integers values of a,b, or c for all integer n > 2
SilverSkyLark
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Philippines8437 Posts
March 15 2009 13:58 GMT
#14
On March 15 2009 22:16 naonao wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 15 2009 21:10 Infinity.SkyLark wrote:
Sorry but what is Fermat's Last Theorem? I think I missed it. I know calculus but what is Fermats Last Theorem?

a^n + b^n =/= c^n for any integers values of a,b, or c for all integer n > 2

cool, thanks.
"If i lost an arm, I would play w3." -IntoTheWow || "Member of Hyuk Hyuk Hyuk cafe. He's the next Jaedong, baby!"
Hamster1800
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
United States175 Posts
March 15 2009 16:05 GMT
#15
I have to wonder why they made the Riemann Hypothesis false...it's like they WANT to introduce bugs into their functions.
D is for Diamond, E is for Everything Else
Daveed
Profile Blog Joined December 2006
United States236 Posts
March 15 2009 16:21 GMT
#16
Maybe it's just me, but I didn't find these funny at all..
MER
Profile Joined June 2008
Bulgaria125 Posts
March 15 2009 16:38 GMT
#17
ROFLOL that is the funniest thing ive read in a long time. Im crying with laughter hahah :DDD
oneofthem
Profile Blog Joined November 2005
Cayman Islands24199 Posts
March 15 2009 17:36 GMT
#18
infinity is still too imba
We have fed the heart on fantasies, the heart's grown brutal from the fare, more substance in our enmities than in our love
Hypnosis
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
United States2061 Posts
March 15 2009 19:07 GMT
#19
The Chain rule now applies to constant exponents.. and the answer is always one.
Science without religion is lame, Religion without science is blind
Pawsom
Profile Blog Joined February 2009
United States928 Posts
March 15 2009 21:21 GMT
#20
Lol at halting problem and NP complete jokes

1 2 Next All
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