EPTFor whatever reason these songs somehow became popular, you have no idea how, no idea why. They just do. Every time you turn on the radio, every time some douche bags phone rings in class, that's what you hear. An annoying song, a jackass artist, and mind numbing lyrics.
Here is my list of songs that made me want to find the nearest living thing and kill it.
5. Snoop Dogg - Drop It like its Hot
I remember back in like 7th grade, some asshole said "Drop it like its hot" in the middle of gym class, I immediately hit him in the face with a brick because it was the dumbest phrase I had ever heard.
Little was my young mind able to comprehend, but it was only the beginning, for the next 3 weeks my mind was getting fucked by anytime I walked past someone playing a sport, or doing any activity that involves holding anything, I heard it. "Yo Man, drop it like its hot!" I guess its kind of clever, since generally when things are hot we will tend to drop and/or put them down in order to avoid more physical pain.
Just when my young fragile mind thought this couldn't get any worse, the best and worst thing happened.
Snoop Dogg.
+ Show Spoiler [Snoop Dogg - Drop It Like Its Hot] +
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GYSei66Rh4
Whether on purpose, or by coincidence, around 2 weeks after this song came out I stopped hearing that god damn phrase, thank you snoop dogg, whether on purpose or by accident, he obliterated one dumb phrase.(it peaked at #1 on z100, because the general public is filled with tools)
4. Miley Cyrus - 7 Things
Its like Avril Lavigne was reincarnated in the form of a redneck. Except for some reason, people like her this time. There are so many reasons Miley Cyrus sucks I don't even know where to begin, I suppose one would have to be my friends desire to have sex with this 14 year old girl when hes 18. and the fact he thinks shes hot. She looks like the tricks rabbit just went into disguise again. But instead of stealing our cereal, she apparently steals the innocence of today's youth!
How about we just pretend Miley Cyrus never existed and avoid countless online polls about her whorish behavior that all girls 12+ are like anyway recently.
Parents need to stop blaming one premadonna for their children being whores.
In conclusion Disney Channel needs to keep its shitty kiddie tv stars on TV, and off the radio, why the hell does anyone who reads a line also have to sing a god damn song?.
+ Show Spoiler [ Miley Cyrus - 7 Things] +
Stay on tv please.
3. Soulja Boy - Crank Dat Soulja Boy
This song is one of the reasons I hated my senior year at high school. Literally every asshole in my school could do this retarded dance, and knew ALL the fucking words. I admit, there was a brief 15 minute period of time where I attempted to learn this dance. Then I realized what I was doing and kicked my brother in the head for even trying to teach me this dance.
This song had literally hundreds of fucking remixes. Go on youtube, search Crank Dat. There is one based on every superhero, I am just surprised there was no "Crank Dat Ambiguously Gay Duo" Where a bunch of assholes ran around having gay sex with each other.
the song was not catchy, the dance was stupid and my entire school would break out into dance every fucking day before first period when the douche bag school DJ would turn it on and all of a sudden you wold see around 100 people just stop what they were doing and dance.
This song sucked, everyone who liked it sucked, and Soulja Boy is an asshole who started the worst 3.5 months to have ears and eyes.
+ Show Spoiler [Soulja boy - Crank Dat Soulja Boy] +
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpocrqvP2Yg
I hate you soulja boy.
2. Jonas Brothers - Love Bug
I hate this song purely for what it inspired, and the fact its written by the ugliest prepubescent pussies who have EVER walked the face of the earth.
Last summer I worked at a camp and my other job for a total of 70 hours of work a week. It sucked ass, you know what was worse though? I ran a zipline at this dumb camp and had administrators bitching at me every day.
As if it couldn't get worse, about 3 weeks in Love Bug made its premiere on the Disney Channel, probably some time between pollypocketsuperfriends and gaybarbiepowerhour.
This song turned every girl ages 12-15 into a raving lunatic who was out of their fucking mind. They all wanted Jonas Brother penis inside of them. However there was two problems with that, the first being that they have vows of celibacy until marriage, the second being that they are raging homosexuals.
At the camp I worked on the girls side of the camp with two other guys. My name is Joe, one was Victor and the Other Nick. Around the end of every period when these idiots starting moving between activities this same group of 14 year old girls would run up to us and be like "OH MY FUCKING OGDDDD THERES 3 OF YOU, JUST LIKE THE JONAS BROTHERS. OHHHHH MY SUPER FUCKING GOD, YOUR NAME IS JOE AND HES NICK!!! Well.... the others guys vincent, but we will pretend he is (I don't know this particular queereyes name)"
As if working 60-70 hours a week wasn't enough, I got harassed relentlessly by admins, and when I wasn't getting harassed by admins, I was getting harassed by girls in puberty.
Because my name was Joe, and I worked with two other people.
+ Show Spoiler [Jonas Brothers - LoveBug] +
Embrace your inner teeniebopper.
1. Beyonce - Single Ladies.
The song that induced a level of hatred and irritation I thought would even be close to possible. It is just fucking BAD.
BADBADBADBADBABDABDBADBABDABDAB
B A MOTHER FUCKING D.
BAD
For what I could bear to listen to of this song, its beyonce repeating the same few lines over and over again for the most part. "All the single ladies" that comprises roughly 70% of the song I'd say.
Alright, I have heard a lot of Lil Wayne lately, I can almost tolerate terrible lyrics due to conditioning from Lil Wayne flooding existence with his terrible raps and his decent beats.
For the record, I get tired of any little
Wayne song after I hear it roughly 4 times.
Back to beyonce now... So she has shitty shitty bad terrible horrible ear destroying mind numbing lyrics. At least she has a good beat though!
Wait, no. Its just the shrill noise repeating over and over again like this noise that pierces your very soul and existence. It is worse than nails on a fucking chalkboard.
Now we combine shitty lyrics and the worst beat ever, and what do we have? A hit song apparently. I have no idea how anyone listens to this song, let alone likes it.
Apparently beyonce dances amazing in this or something, but to me those are unsubstantiated rumors since after around 30 seconds of the video my eyes begin to bleed and I go blind.
+ Show Spoiler [ Beyonce - Single Ladies] +
Maybe I will watch it on mute one day. Probably not though.
This rant was all caused by me turning the radio on on the way home from dropping my sister off and hearing Single Ladies one too many times.
