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meet girls at college outside of parties? I know this sounds dumb to some of you, yea college campuses are swarming with females, but it seems like I'm so rarely in a position to get to know girls and scope for gf potential.
I'm somewhat anti-social by nature, don't usually dominate conversations etc but I'm not like "that quiet kid" or anything.
Here's a typical day for me:
Wake up
eat: dining hall not a place to meet girls obviously
go to class: I dunno about you but most classes are tough to meet girls in since the professor is usually just talking the whole time and everyone else is silent. Sometimes if you're in a big lecture hall and you're sitting in the back you can talk to the person next to you, but it's not easy to strike up a conversation with someone you don't know when there isn't a whole lot to talk about since you're both just sititng there bored as shit.
Then some more classes and eating takes place until evening. I get back to my dorm room and kick back, do some homework, and then just chill on my computer or go play video games w kids on my floor until I go to sleep.
I'm not sure where meeting a girl factors into this equation-.- I'm not great at starting conversation w strangers.
Anyone stuck in a similar rut?
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Optional Questionnaire
1)a. Are you in college?
b. If you answered yes to part 'a', do you have a girlfriend?
c. If you answered yes to parts 'a' and 'b', where did you meet said girlfriend?
 
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Join a frat.
Problem solved. Not kidding btw.
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I know what u mean. It's like what are you supposed to say?
"hey you're cute"
Like there's nothing logical you can say. It sucks that there's not really a way to get to know random girls unless you already know them from somewhere else like a class.
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United States11637 Posts
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I'm in one club, some christian/catholic thing, in my school and that's where I meet most of my friends. Otherwise, a small # from classes...
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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
woah i thought you were charlie
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United States11637 Posts
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United States17042 Posts
i thought he was charlie too until reading the comments >.>
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doesnt sound dumb
makes total sense to me
you arent alone and yet you are
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i have the exact same problem u have
*high 5*
>_>
*sulks in corner*
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just prepare yourself psychologically to be alone your entire life
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Katowice25012 Posts
On December 06 2008 14:48 -orb- wrote:
I know what u mean. It's like what are you supposed to say?
"hey you're cute"
I do it all the time. Works pretty well.
If you need to explicitly say you aren't 'that quiet kid' you probably are, sorry. Just be more social. More talkative. It really is that easy. Joining a frat might be a solid choice too, I don't know.
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On December 06 2008 15:12 heyoka wrote:Show nested quote +On December 06 2008 14:48 -orb- wrote:
I know what u mean. It's like what are you supposed to say?
"hey you're cute"
I do it all the time. Works pretty well. If you need to explicitly say you aren't 'that quiet kid' you probably are, sorry. Just be more social. More talkative. It really is that easy. Joining a frat might be a solid choice too, I don't know.
I can't stand frats, and personally I just find it almost backhandedly insulting to just walk up to a girl and say they're cute. Obviously it's an insult, but if you're using that as a means to get to know them or get them to go out on a date with you, it's pretty shallow and implies a certain sense of only caring about looks.
Whatever
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I'm sure every initial attraction is attributed atleast partially to looks.
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Cute applies to mannerism too, it simply is a statement that you are interested in them. Usually when combining with asking someone out it goes well with "I want to get know you better",
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go take salsa and meringue classes... it's fun, you get to move around and well obviously you get to meet LOTS and LOTS of hot girls. They should have a beginner class in your university and such...
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whip out your schlong and maybe she will notice
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On December 06 2008 15:29 Raithed wrote:
meet them on iccup? duh!
hahhaa, imagine explaining that one to your parents "so where'd you meet?" "uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
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If you need to explicitly say you aren't 'that quiet kid' you probably are, sorry.
I'm really not, I just assumed that people would see "somewhat anti-social" and assume I was the kid who never talks and is awkward to be around, which isn't the case. I'm chill hangin w friends male or female, it's just that I'm not the type of kid who can easily start up conversations w strangers.. that's more the part where the awkwardness/timidness creeps in.
Joining a frat isn't really an option at this point.. I'm more of a pothead than a drinker anyways.
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And yea I wouldn't have made my name this if I knew there was gonna be this much confusion.. I'm a big fan of Sealab 2021. There's no way to change handles w/o setting up a new account, is there?
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There is a name change thread in the feedback forum.
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United States17042 Posts
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On December 06 2008 14:43 CaptainMurphy wrote:
go to class: I dunno about you but most classes are tough to meet girls in since the professor is usually just talking the whole time and everyone else is silent. Sometimes if you're in a big lecture hall and you're sitting in the back you can talk to the person next to you, but it's not easy to strike up a conversation with someone you don't know when there isn't a whole lot to talk about since you're both just sititng there bored as shit.
You got no breaks? You can always talk about the lecture in the breaks, then ask them what other courses they take etc, and from there it is easy to go just about anywhere without it feeling awkward.
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Join clubs. I think clubs are best places to meet people, having similar interest might be another plus (unless you join solely for the purpose of meeting girls, like... fuck... cheer leading, as a spotter).
Does your university have a bar, that would be a good place.
Try bars AROUND your university.
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I hate clubbing and generally dislike partying as well unless it's kind of private.
I meet alot of people via societies and stuff, as well as just trying to be as open as possible all the time.
Whats wrong with sitting down and talking to random people in dining hall? Sitting with brief aquantices and talking to their friends works too.
Met my ex by just saying hi and striking random conversation.
Recently met a girl who's become quite special by just saying hi as well, I think she was holding the door open for me or whatever.
It's all about not beeing too consumed with yourself as you are walking around other people but rather beeing open to the situations that arise.
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On December 07 2008 00:04 KlaCkoN wrote:
I meet alot of people via societies and stuff, as well as just trying to be as open as possible all the time.
Whats wrong with sitting down and talking to random people in dining hall? Sitting with brief aquantices and talking to their friends works too.
Met my ex by just saying hi and striking random conversation.
Recently met a girl who's become quite special by just saying hi as well, I think she was holding the door open for me or whatever.
It's all about not beeing too consumed with yourself as you are walking around other people but rather beeing open to the situations that arise.
Ya I think I just gotta work on this,
and this
You got no breaks? You can always talk about the lecture in the breaks, then ask them what other courses they take etc, and from there it is easy to go just about anywhere without it feeling awkward.
I'm usually just too timid to break the ice, getting past the barrier of stranger to someone you know and can have casual convos with is the toughest part.. meh.
Clubs would probably be a good idea, just gotta find one I'm interested in :/
Maybe I should start an SC club, meet a couple korean girls.. ><
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On December 07 2008 04:52 CaptainMurphy wrote:Show nested quote +
You got no breaks? You can always talk about the lecture in the breaks, then ask them what other courses they take etc, and from there it is easy to go just about anywhere without it feeling awkward.
I'm usually just too timid to break the ice, getting past the barrier of stranger to someone you know and can have casual convos with is the toughest part.. meh.
You got to move past that or you will not get a girlfriend in a painless amount of time. The first step is to feel that it is natural to talk to them, try to approach them just to talk first rather than trying to hit on them, that way you most likely wont get rejected since just talking is harmless and even if they do it do not hurt as much since you did not really do it to get close to them anyway.
After a while everything will feel natural and by that time it is much easier to approach a woman, break the ice and ask her out, since you have already done the approach/break ice before.
Edit: Anyhow, women are also just humans after all.
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On December 06 2008 15:41 Freaky[x] wrote:
go take salsa and meringue classes... it's fun, you get to move around and well obviously you get to meet LOTS and LOTS of hot girls. They should have a beginner class in your university and such...
Not true. A lot of girls who do ballroom dancing are ugly. Sure, there are hot girls, but I'd say that it's less than 30% of the dancers.
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On December 07 2008 10:30 Klockan3 wrote:
You got to move past that or you will not get a girlfriend in a painless amount of time. The first step is to feel that it is natural to talk to them, try to approach them just to talk first rather than trying to hit on them, that way you most likely wont get rejected since just talking is harmless and even if they do it do not hurt as much since you did not really do it to get close to them anyway.
Thanks man, I know you're right.. I always think that girls would be like 'who is this random guy trying to talk to me" but yea I should be more open to opportunities. From my point of view it's like a whole mindset shift since I'm so used bein how I am. Gotta work on that.
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I'm kinda noticing the same thing, just in general.
After the first couple weeks of college, meeting people in general just didn't really happen. Hell, I don't even know everyone on my floor.
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On December 06 2008 14:55 thedeadhaji wrote:
woah i thought you were charlie
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On December 07 2008 14:21 Vivi57 wrote:
I'm kinda noticing the same thing, just in general.
After the first couple weeks of college, meeting people in general just didn't really happen. Hell, I don't even know everyone on my floor.
Yea it's like you assume it's just gonna happen naturally but it doesn't.
Nice to know there are ppl feelin the same way, but ya it sucks :/. Gotta actually work at it..
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On December 08 2008 05:57 CaptainMurphy wrote:
Gotta actually work at it..
A lot kinda like quantum physics, it do not just come to you naturally.
Actually, women are a lot like quantum physics:
No man really understands any of them.
They are both all about uncertainty and probabilities.
It costs a lot of money to delve deeper into them.
To get anywhere the only working approach is to first assume that you don't know anything.
Many talks about them but few gets a lot of them.
Both are all about curves!
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EPT
