Help me smoke tea - Page 5

On June 14 2011 13:30 jello_biafra wrote:
LOL this reminds me of my friend and I trying to sell tea as weed to some guy in our school when we were like 13.

On November 30 2008 21:37 Lamentations wrote:
what the fuck were you smoking when you came up with this idea?... oh wait...

On July 05 2008 15:53 SpiralArchitect wrote:
If you have a holy bible open at and take out the first page, dont just rip out a corner thats stupid. Then fold it in half and half and half and half till it is the desired size of your joint (1 fold is optimal), unfold it all the way and tear along the lines of one of your squares. Place the "material" in the newly made joint paper and roll it. If you dont know how to roll a J then your kinda screwed my friend since your first one is bound to have kinds of stuff that isnt smoke coming out of both ends, and you will look like stork without goon range. Good luck mate even though this might be late, you could possibly swoon them tomorrow or some crazy shit.

Btw this is a really bad idea in general and I highly doubt it will generate any fornication, by you any way.



omfg lawl lawllawlawllawl omfg. Sorry that was bad but this is so fucking hilarious dude, you have never rolled anything in your life. Here is a quick guide on how to roll your tea leave cigarette.

1. Take your paper (see guide) and fold it in half so there is a crease down the middle.

2.Place contents in crease evenly and pack it down LIGHTLY with your finger.

3. Pinch the corners of the paper at the top and gently roll it in your fingers, keep the paper straight damnit dont actually roll it yet.

4. Once the material reaches desired shape pinch the paper at the ends just above the material. Then use your thumbs to pull the front side down and push the top side up with your fingers.

5. Fold the corners in on the bottom side while keeping the top side straight. Then roll the material up like a dead body in a rug, most people know how to do that.

6. Lick the small edge that is left on the top side and firmly cement that mother fucker down. This is hard with bible paper and may take a few tries, but honestly ur probably fucked anyway.

Even if you manage to master this technique (which will be very hard since my guide is very limited) which takes years to master for most people. Do you really assume that smoking is a huge turn on for these here women? Come on dude most women think that shit is disgusting, i know i smoke a pack a day. Not to mention this conversation ensueing:

You: Hey ladies whats cracking!?

Girls: O hey whats up?

You: Not much just chilling about to smoke up this (insert what ever you thought up) to celebrate our kick ass country!

Girls: Of thats cool, I am not really that into smoking stuff but whatever.

You: Well shit dont you know that smoking is one of the coolest things you can do.

(You now light up your "school paper" joint/cigg)

You: See dont I look fucking cool?

Girl: What the fuck? Is that notebook paper?

You: Ah hell nah this is the latest blueberry stripe paper, its like that zebra gum shit but for older dudes.

Girl: What the fuck.....

You: Damn this shit is really good you sure you dont want some?

Girl: Let me see that....

(you then hand her your cig cuz otherwise your fucked)

Girl: This is not even (substance) this is fuckin tea leaves, are you retarded or something?

You: Uh... Fuck.... Yes? (Lack of better answer available)

(you now exit the scene as fast as possibe and 4 pool some unsuspecting "1v1 Only D- Im P" guy on iccup)

Gl anyway ill give you a 5/5 since this thread provided me so much entertainment.

On July 06 2008 01:04 Chef wrote:
I had friends who smoked tea out of a bong... I passed cause I thought it was fucking stupid, but they seemed to be sort of enjoying it...

Just put your tea in boiling water, and let it steep for a bit. Then drink it, trust me, it's pretty good. Girls are into guys who drink their tea.