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Ok well, yesterday was Canada day. I went with the girl I've liked for years, her boyfriend, and another guy who liked her. lol.
Me and her have been friends for 12 years, nothing bad's happened, etc.
We get to a friends house that night, and me and my friend start doing this "Sumo wrestling", it ends up with me and her on the ground, me tickling her, her hitting me, us both laughing our asses off, as it always does.
Then she says ow, for a reason I don't know.
Second that happens, her boyfriend tackles me and punches me.
I get up, and deck him.
The next 5 minutes were me and him having a verbal war, and I didn't want to do anything farther.
After that he apologized, as did I, and me and the girl hugged a few times, and she said she loved me. Everything would be alright.
I get home, she blocks me on MSN. I try to call her, no answer.
I'm friggin scared to lose my best friend here, and spiral down into the hell that is mass gaming.
Anyone have any ideas?
 
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I think mass gaming is the best choice here really. If she was really a good friend she wouldn't stop talking to you for no reason.
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I guess I should add this.
Me and her have been BEST friends for 12 years, never apart.
And her boyfriend is leaving sometime soon for good basically.
Also, she doesn't want to be with him anymore ~_~
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You are so far in the friend zone you should probably just give up and go with cava's suggestion of mass gaming.
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just send her an e-mail or leave her a message that's like, "why did you block me on msn and stop answering my calls." you get extra points for mentioning how immature and middle schoolish that shit is. oh, and mention that you've been friends for 12years and a "i'm always on your side, you can talk to me about anything" type sort of thing at the end.
you pretty much want her to feel like an idiot for being an idiot, while being awesome.
don't be a pussy plz.
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vaginas don't make any sense at all.
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On July 03 2008 00:43 DeadVessel wrote:
vaginas don't make any sense at all.
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On July 03 2008 00:41 geometryb wrote:
just send her an e-mail or leave her a message that's like, "why did you block me on msn and stop answering my calls." you get extra points for mentioning how immature and middle schoolish that shit is. oh, and mention that you've been friends for 12years and a "i'm always on your side, you can talk to me about anything" type sort of thing at the end.
you pretty much want her to feel like an idiot for being an idiot, while being awesome.
don't be a pussy plz.
what he said was pretty good, And if that fails looks like you got alot of mass gaing and wackin off to do. 
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I'd give things a little bit of time to cool down. Be friendly, but give her space. It sounds like the whole thing was a huge drama fest, everyone having intense feelings and such. Give that time to blow over and I bet things will be fine. Just don't add more drama to the mix.
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How do you know she blocked you?
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Snet
United States3573 Posts
just relax for a while, you had a fight with her boyfriend she's obviously gonna be a little distant for a while
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You can find out if people block you on msn, its a little technique, but games are always good. Glad you're friendly I'd break his wrist if he tackled me :D
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I should explain the main reason why I didn't do anything other then punch him once.
I was afraid if I did anymore, she'd just hate me forever.
Also, the huge size difference.
I'm 6'9'' 280, her boyfriend is 6'0 130.
I would've crushed him. :|
Thanks for the advice guys, I'd go visit her, but no ride, and its a 50 minute walk. Plus she sleeps in until 4 PM usually lol.
I guess I'll just relax, and hope everything turns out fine...
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On July 03 2008 00:56 nA.Inky wrote:
I'd give things a little bit of time to cool down. Be friendly, but give her space. It sounds like the whole thing was a huge drama fest, everyone having intense feelings and such. Give that time to blow over and I bet things will be fine. Just don't add more drama to the mix.
exactly
wait and see...
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If her BF was the person that actually started the thing (which it appears that he did) then IMO you didn't do anything wrong, I don't see what's wrong with self-defense.
But yeah, some girls are confusing. T_T
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hit her boyfriend repeatedly in the face and generally act like Tarzan (not sure he would do that though), that will get you out of the friend zone asaply my friend
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Do you want to date this girl, or do you just want her to be your friend again? I think if you just wait she'll start talking to you again after a while.
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Tell her its her decision you wont call her anymore, if she doesnt want to see you. Dont forget to mention how disappointed you are in her and that you misjudged her and dont even know if you want to be friends with her again. If she apologizes and you see her again make your move or stay friends forever.
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On July 03 2008 01:44 Yuljan wrote:
Tell her its her decision you wont call her anymore, if she doesnt want to see you. Dont forget to mention how disappointed you are in her and that you misjudged her and dont even know if you want to be friends with her again. If she apologizes and you see her again make your move or stay friends forever.
EDIT : Make sure you pour on loads of guilt..
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Don't try to be "BFFs" with a girl. She'll always mean more to you than you do to her, and you'll end up feeling betrayed. It's bullshit, but that's life. Girls always put all their focus on their boyfriends, because they don't know how to balance their lives, so you really can't be starving for their attention unless you are their boyfriend =P At least, this is my experience. TBH the fact that you're asking TL is scary to me.
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On July 03 2008 01:21 ZZangDreamjOy wrote:
I should explain the main reason why I didn't do anything other then punch him once.
I was afraid if I did anymore, she'd just hate me forever.
Also, the huge size difference.
I'm 6'9'' 280, her boyfriend is 6'0 130.
I would've crushed him. :|
Thanks for the advice guys, I'd go visit her, but no ride, and its a 50 minute walk. Plus she sleeps in until 4 PM usually lol.
I guess I'll just relax, and hope everything turns out fine...
wtf and he punched you first? Kid's got mad balls, no wonder he's tappin that and you aren't.
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lol, Defaf, you're a tard
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On July 03 2008 02:02 decafchicken wrote:Show nested quote +On July 03 2008 01:21 ZZangDreamjOy wrote:
I should explain the main reason why I didn't do anything other then punch him once.
I was afraid if I did anymore, she'd just hate me forever.
Also, the huge size difference.
I'm 6'9'' 280, her boyfriend is 6'0 130.
I would've crushed him. :|
Thanks for the advice guys, I'd go visit her, but no ride, and its a 50 minute walk. Plus she sleeps in until 4 PM usually lol.
I guess I'll just relax, and hope everything turns out fine... wtf and he punched you first? Kid's got mad balls, no wonder he's tappin that and you aren't.
ROFL. QFT.
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On July 03 2008 01:21 ZZangDreamjOy wrote:
I should explain the main reason why I didn't do anything other then punch him once.
I was afraid if I did anymore, she'd just hate me forever.
Also, the huge size difference.
I'm 6'9'' 280, her boyfriend is 6'0 130.
I would've crushed him. :|
Thanks for the advice guys, I'd go visit her, but no ride, and its a 50 minute walk. Plus she sleeps in until 4 PM usually lol.
I guess I'll just relax, and hope everything turns out fine...
wtf? You're not Chinese are you?
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On July 03 2008 02:02 decafchicken wrote:Show nested quote +On July 03 2008 01:21 ZZangDreamjOy wrote:
I should explain the main reason why I didn't do anything other then punch him once.
I was afraid if I did anymore, she'd just hate me forever.
Also, the huge size difference.
I'm 6'9'' 280, her boyfriend is 6'0 130.
I would've crushed him. :|
Thanks for the advice guys, I'd go visit her, but no ride, and its a 50 minute walk. Plus she sleeps in until 4 PM usually lol.
I guess I'll just relax, and hope everything turns out fine... wtf and he punched you first? Kid's got mad balls, no wonder he's tappin that and you aren't.
I've never experienced my balls being mad or angry. How does one achieve such a state?
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Apparently by being a dumbass and cheap shotting someone. So manly.
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on a serious note, ignore her
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If you two have been friends for that long, it's not likely that she's just gonna cut you off completely all of a sudden. Just give it some time. She's probably handling the issue of your friendship and what happened that night with her boyfriend right now, and more interaction from you wouldn't help keep the situation calm between them. Her boyfriend means more to her than you likely do, at least in the short term way of emotions, so don't feel put-off if you take a backseat to their issues for a little while - that's just the way relationships work on that side of the fence. Call her again in a few days or so, and if you get an answer, let her set the ground rules as far as what's going on and communication between you two.
In short, just try to be an understanding friend to her rather than rampaging your way around angry, confused, and demanding/manipulating things from her.
The guilt trip that others are suggesting is piss-poor. You don't know why things have happened as they have, and trying to manipulate her like that just makes you look like a passive-aggressive asshole.
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I'd say the best option is to just wait it out.
I'm pretty sure that she'll come back and unblock you and talk to you.
12 years isn't something that someone just throws away for shits unless you're batshit crazy or on drugs.Plus, my girlfriend says she chose me because I made her feel comfortable, so I'd say bullshit to all those who claim that you're too far into the "Friends" territory.
By the way, this boyfriend of hers must be anorexic as hell. I'm 6'1" 155 lbs and skinny as hell but 6'0" 130 lbs?
You're 280 lbs wrestling with a girl and you wonder why she says "Ow"? You obviously don't know how strong you are. Anything you do with a girl could possibly be misconstrued as a bear attack.
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On July 03 2008 02:37 MTF wrote:
In short, be a bitch.
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On July 03 2008 02:35 Holylight wrote:
on a serious note, ignore her
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On July 03 2008 02:45 PsycHOTemplar wrote:
Yay for stereotypical machoman responses of mockery with absolutely no reasoning!
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Yes, basically, ignore her.
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just wait it out buddy haha.
If you feel genuine for her and the time is right, go for it. If no at least try to be your best to be her good friend.
no fear!
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On July 03 2008 02:35 Holylight wrote:
on a serious note, ignore her
i wouldn't ignore my best friend, that's just plain wrong. I don't know why u guys are giving retarded advises.
But I would agree in a sense that you should lay low and give yourself and her soem breathing space for abit.
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Well... update I guess.
I talked with her boyfriend.
Its water under the bridge for me and him.
But she's still REALLY pissed at me.
Even though he started it.
So I'm... I donnou, completely lost.
I have to convince her of something apparrantly, and her birthday is in 5 days. -_-
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is awesome32274 Posts
Lol man. This situation.
anaskdasdaks
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Yay for stereotypical machoman responses of mockery with absolutely no reasoning!
Well lol, why should anyone put so much importance in a person who they can only ever play second fiddle for, and who will only ever be there for them when it's absolutely convenient. That's an uneven friendship, or rather, one person is a bitch, and the only keeps them around because it's convenient. You can't let yourself get into friendships like that, keep on an even level or don't have the friendship at all, because it's useless to you.
Really, with the things we know from reading ZZang's posts, pretty much anything could be happen. The girl could be scared of liking ZZang and she's setting things up so she can just get rid of him and not have to betray her boyfriend... She could just be getting rid of him because it's awkward to have someone like you more than you like them... She could just be a piece of shit or an idiot... I mean, ZZang is putting her up on a pedastle right now, where she really doesn't deserve to be. Real friendships, both parties are willing and want to resolve their differences quickly, and don't hold stupid grudges and try to make each other suffer. Whether that's because the friendship isn't so serious you have to worry about any real problems, or because you're both serious about your friendship, it needs to be true. Otherwise yeah, you're gonna suffer, and she's not going to truly feel sorry for you. Your boys will be there for you anytime you really need them, girls have their girls there for them anytime they need them, but for some reason when you mix genders, they just aren't.
Yeah okay. A lot of obvious and stupid stuff said there, but that's the long version of my comment 
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On July 03 2008 03:31 PsycHOTemplar wrote:Well lol, why should anyone put so much importance in a person who they can only ever play second fiddle for, and who will only ever be there for them when it's absolutely convenient. That's an uneven friendship, or rather, one person is a bitch, and the only keeps them around because it's convenient. You can't let yourself get into friendships like that, keep on an even level or don't have the friendship at all, because it's useless to you. Really, with the things we know from reading ZZang's posts, pretty much anything could be happen. The girl could be scared of liking ZZang and she's setting things up so she can just get rid of him and not have to betray her boyfriend... She could just be getting rid of him because it's awkward to have someone like you more than you like them... She could just be a piece of shit or an idiot... I mean, ZZang is putting her up on a pedastle right now, where she really doesn't deserve to be. Real friendships, both parties are willing and want to resolve their differences quickly, and don't hold stupid grudges and try to make each other suffer. Whether that's because the friendship isn't so serious you have to worry about any real problems, or because you're both serious about your friendship, it needs to be true. Otherwise yeah, you're gonna suffer, and she's not going to truly feel sorry for you. Your boys will be there for you anytime you really need them, girls have their girls there for them anytime they need them, but for some reason when you mix genders, they just aren't. Yeah okay. A lot of obvious and stupid stuff said there, but that's the long version of my comment
That's better. :p
I have to both agree and disagree with you. I agree with you as far as the main line you seem to be arguing from, being from the "I wanna be most important to her" or similarly "I'm interested in more than regular friendship" viewpoint. I do agree that it's unhealthy to devote a lot into a friendship when the interest isn't returned.
I disagree when you say that genders don't mix. They do, and I know of myself and two other guys that have very good, regular female friends.
Now, I would fully agree with you on every single other point if there wasn't a conflict recently between ZZang and her boyfriend. I agree that she isn't the best friend ever. However, The simple fact of the matter is, no matter how long you are friends with someone a lot of people get more emotionally dedicated to their boyfriends/girlfriends/whatever immediately than they ever do with anyone else. This is especially true with immature girls or people who've been seeing eachother for awhile. So, when you put yourself on one end of a scale and the boyfriend on the other, it's usually gonna tip in his favor, no matter what the situation is. It's not rational at all, no, but through my experiences with relationships and emotions, it's just how it is.
This means that, at least for the short-term, you can't always expect the most rational behavior out of a person when you conflict with the relationship they share with their partner. Hence why she's pissed at ZZang, even though he wasn't the originator of the conflict.
ZZang, I'd say you have two options here.
First, you find her and ask to talk to her about it in detail, in person, explain that you know the boyfriend was just trying to protect her, that you've talked it over with him and you're both cool with eachother, and apologize to her directly for hitting her boyfriend. I think it's most likely that she's just mad at you for hitting him when there's such a big size advantage and she just viewed his initial attack as defending her.
Second option, you just give her a few days to cool down and try the above or just try to go back to normal. Depending on the level of your friendship, I'd pick this one if you guys are more casual friends, though I'd still apologize to her directly at the least.
Ignoring her completely could work, too, if she just needs time to let steam off. But based on how you're reacting, I doubt it's the kind of route you want to take.
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If he talks to her when she really just wants conflict and to make a scene so she can not feel bad about abandoning him, it's not really helping. If he waits on her, he's just torturing himself. The best thing to do is to forget about her, and if she comes back to you, make your decision about whether you want her in your life again or not. Just don't let people who are treating you like garbage think they can get away with it (which is exactly what she's doing, because as a friend of a dozen years... imagine she was a guy... you deserve better than that).
I disagree when you say that genders don't mix. They do, and I know of myself and two other guys that have very good, regular female friends.
Not saying guys and gals can't be platonic friends, I'm saying don't count on someone of the opposite sex with a boyfriend to be there when you really need them. It's easier for Jake to say "Jill, Tom's having a really rough day, I'm gonna go see how he is," than for Jill to say "Jake, Tom's having a really rough day, I'm gonna go see how he is." In one there's the fear of jealousy, and adultery, even in a relatively trusting relationship, and in the other it's obvious he's just going to make sure his friend doesn't kill himself lol.
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Update
She's completely cut me out.
I'm blocked on MSN.
I'm blocked on WoW, a game she plays.
My number seems to be blocked.
The only thing she hasn't changed, and what gave me hope is her MySpace.
I'm still on it, there are still pictures of us.
And she tells her friends she's just really mad at me.
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Don't grovel to her man... You've done nothing wrong, you could have killed her stupid boyfriend if you wanted to. All you did was give him one punch in self-defence, and chew him out. Let her come to you when she finally decides to grow up. She's got no right to be this angry and immature about it, and if you have any balls at all, she's really testing her luck with your friendship.
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Long time no see~~~~
1. Don't grovel or go crawling to her. She's blocked you for a reason.
If she never unblocks you, then for w/e reason, she's decided to end the relationship and you'll have to move on as heart wrenching as that may be.
If she does unblock you, it means that she was extremely mad at you for some reason and you need to figure out why and go talk to her with a level head. If you can't figure it out, then that's fine, but make sure she knows that.
Can you remember what you SAID during the verbal war? I think that may have clues in it that might reveal the truth.
2. If she's your friend, then you have to make sure you treat her like a friend.
Friends eventually lose the #1 position in the other person's heart. Lovers always prevail over friends; that's the natural order of things.
Even if she talks down about her lover to you, that doesn't mean she's going to break up with him. You also, as a guy, can't talk bad about her lovers or you will be perceived as jealous. You can only talk bad about a girl's lovers if you are openly gay.
My advice: let her calm down. Cut yourself out of the loop for a couple days. Don't even read MySpace and maybe even ignore your email. If she calls you on the phone, then fine, you can answer, but try to be as level-headed as possible. After a minimum of two days, you can resume diplomacy. If at that point she continues blocking her, make sure she knows that if you don't talk, nothing will ever get fixed, and then go back to ignoring her as best you can. If by the end of a week she hasn't responded, then it's time to get new friends.
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Wait is she mad at you for hurting her while wrestling or punching her boyfriend?
If she's mad at you for hurting her while wrestling I think you ought to tell her sorry.
If she's mad at you for punching her boyfriend, she's irrational she ought to be saying sorry because it was out of self-defense, she doesn't seem to like her boyfriend (??), and you and her boyfriend are cool about it.
girls these days...
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Lol chick sounds like a cunt -_-
ignor her
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Ok well, yesterday was Canada day. I went with the girl I've liked for years, her boyfriend, and another guy who liked her. lol.
Me and her have been friends for years, nothing bad's happened, etc.
I get home, she blocks me on MSN. I try to call her, no answer.
I'm friggin scared to lose my best friend here, and spiral down into the hell that is mass gaming.
Anyone have any ideas?
This happened to me last year (with some modifications :p )
I chose to mass game.
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dude, if you want more than a friendship from this girl, then just walk away. I have been there before. Trust me. If you have been in the friend zone that long you are stuck.
If all you want is friendship, then just wait for her to calm down then talk to her when she is thinking more rationally. Oh, and apologise for hurting her.
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On July 03 2008 05:28 ZZangDreamjOy wrote:
Update
She's completely cut me out.
I'm blocked on MSN.
I'm blocked on WoW, a game she plays.
My number seems to be blocked.
The only thing she hasn't changed, and what gave me hope is her MySpace.
I'm still on it, there are still pictures of us.
And she tells her friends she's just really mad at me.
I don't even know this girl and she is pissing me off. Her scrawny ass Boyfriend sucker punches you and she is pissed at you for decking him?
Fucking ignore that witch.
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Lol, stick it in her-
umm...
Ditch that bitch :D
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She plays WoW? Consider her blocking you a blessing..
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On July 03 2008 11:36 Steelflight-Rx wrote:
She plays WoW? Consider her blocking you a blessing..
qft
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don't start something with a friend's girlfriend; it's just NOT WORTH IT
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On July 03 2008 02:18 Romance_us wrote:Show nested quote +On July 03 2008 02:02 decafchicken wrote:On July 03 2008 01:21 ZZangDreamjOy wrote:
I should explain the main reason why I didn't do anything other then punch him once.
I was afraid if I did anymore, she'd just hate me forever.
Also, the huge size difference.
I'm 6'9'' 280, her boyfriend is 6'0 130.
I would've crushed him. :|
Thanks for the advice guys, I'd go visit her, but no ride, and its a 50 minute walk. Plus she sleeps in until 4 PM usually lol.
I guess I'll just relax, and hope everything turns out fine... wtf and he punched you first? Kid's got mad balls, no wonder he's tappin that and you aren't. ROFL. QFT.
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Ignore, she'll come about.
If not, try speaking to her in like a week.
Talk to her and find out why is she angry. She probably expected more from you since you're her best friend for so long, and she can easily forgive her boyfriend becouse of emotions etc. Yeah I know it's bullshit, but it's like that.
Don't apologize for hitting her boyfriend, explain it that he hit you first ffs - you're a man, you fight back. Apologize if you hurt her. Apologize if you said something during the verbal fight.
If she's beeing a bitch even after that, she has her mind set. If that happens, its not only this incident that matters, its also something else, this incident being just the final turning point. But if that's true, she's a total retard and not really your best friend, otherwise she'd tell you about it before.
EDIT: oh, try buying her a nice present and fixing things at the birthday or something.
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United States22883 Posts
On July 03 2008 11:36 Steelflight-Rx wrote:
She plays WoW? Consider her blocking you a blessing..
She also wakes up at 4PM every day...
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On July 04 2008 09:07 Jibba wrote:Show nested quote +On July 03 2008 11:36 Steelflight-Rx wrote:
She plays WoW? Consider her blocking you a blessing.. She also wakes up at 4PM every day...
o.o wth... is she an owl with no personality?
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On July 04 2008 09:56 DamageControL wrote:Show nested quote +On July 04 2008 09:07 Jibba wrote:On July 03 2008 11:36 Steelflight-Rx wrote:
She plays WoW? Consider her blocking you a blessing.. She also wakes up at 4PM every day... o.o wth... is she an owl with no personality?
yeah really um...if I played WoW and got up at 4PM everday I'd use the time I wasn't playing WoW to somehow manage to think of a way to kill myself multiple times.
Anyway some advice from the other side of the fence here:
-You were playing tickle me elmo with her when her boyfriend was right there...yeah okay you've been friends for a long time...great. But almost every girl will defend and listen to her boyfriend Her boyfriend was probably being extremely protective of whats "his" and told her he doesn't want her talking to you. It's probably that simple...and if she cared about your friendship she'll unblock you eventually...just gotta wait it out.
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get a whore and show her off in front of your friends house
+ Show Spoiler +
naaa, seriously...
it happened something similar to me once...
is she the kind of ppl that cut off other ppl often?
if it is, so you are dead to her...
i read all posts. I think that she is confussed, and she doesnt wanna be so, so, basicaly you are screwed for a while... Mass game, use your free time in something that keeps you up. Lie to yourself, she is on a vacation, or lost in an island, eventually you both are going to talk about these soon. And then, you deserve an explanation.
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EPT
