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i've got a serious back problem that started about 3-4 years back in senior year of highschool. i was playing basketball, and when i was coming down from a rebound, i hit my friend who was "springing up" in a squat position, which turned my completely horizontal. i then proceeded to fall on the cement in that position, and all the impact went to my right lower back.
i got up right away and finished the game, and i was fine for a week, but then i started to get leg pain shooting down the right leg. and all this happened a couple months before graduation... and after i was signed up to enlist in the army. looking back, i have no idea why i didn't get out of it or took my injury seriously. i guess it was partly due to unassertiveness and partly to do with the "i'm invincible, push through the pain" mentality i had and i'm sure many others have as well.
anyways, after grauduation, i only got one week of break, which really didn't feel like break, and i was off shipped to basic training in ft leonardwood missouri. god damn, you feel like a worthless piece of trash in the army... but i'll save that for another blog about my experience in the army...
but now it's 3 years later, i've gotten two epidurals (which are BADDDD don't ever get them, get prolotherapy for a real cure), 2 xrays 3 mri's and many re-injuries over the years, and now i can't even sit long enough to go to school. had to withdraw and it's been a whole school year now. i re-enrolled, but i think i'll have to postpone that again now.
there is also widespread body pain, which i think is due to general ligament weakness or fibromyalgia. and let me tell you ligament weakness sucks. mainstream medicine don't treat ligaments, and don't recognize it's source of chronic pain or it's referral patterns, much similar to nerve referal patterns, but distinct. the RICE treatment prevents inflammation and prevents healing.
lying down is not comfortable. i couldn't sit still cause i would get all these random body pains that spread and started and went away without warning, but never fully went away. i always raise my arms in the air cause of arm pains and breathing obstruction... weird huh.
i don't mean for this to be a complaining, but i'm just getting it out there. i've come to learn through physical pain that lingers on and on many things.
1)first, everyone only thinks they have balls to stand up to torture, but that's only when ur not feeling pain... to all the people who have been tortured in the past, and especially those who willingly withstood it... hats off to ya.
2) second, i've felt and realize now many people who are ill feel at first "why is this happening to only me". well it feels like it's only you cause people don't relaly talk about their pains too much cause it can get annoying to people around them, and just something you live with and at the same time maybe its' just osmething yo udont' want to focus on. through pain, you mature. now for some reason, (and it took me a long time to get to this point), i don't think of my physical suffering as a woeful calamity that has striken myself out of all the ants that the ball of spit could have fallen on, or the tree that the lightning bolt hit. your path is your path, and that judgement will be bestowed relatively. the harder circumstances are for you or the easier they are, it will all be tkaen into consideration. of course if you believe that this is the only world, then that's bullshit. one life to live, now is what matters. and naturally anyone can see this a peaceful conception and attitude that later develops from suffering can only arise from believing in an afterlife and a just form of a god.
anyways... here i am, i've found a real cure, prolotherapy thank goodness and i really recomend poeple with musculoskeletal problems to find this, instead of taking antiinflammatories, epidurals and surgeries when the real cause of chronic pain for most cases are ligament damage and weakeness. cure it with inflammation. your body can heal itself, it just needs help. and after prolotherapy, your ligaments are stronger than before as well as completely good as new.
and of course, i still have this safety net for a hope of a complete cure, but i really ask myhself how would i feel if there was no cure? i try to imagine and realize i'm really honestly not that strong. theres been a lot of depression and suicide thoughts mahy times too of course... how can u not have them in states like this and worse?
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www.getprolo.com to find prolotherapists in your area,
www.caringmedical.com for easy to understand information about how to truly completely cure yourself.
i'm not cured yet but for some reason, i'm not mentally crushed by it anymore... maybe you can find your way to feel the same =)
