We've been together a long time, and it's been good. We've won a lot of StarCraft games, I've never lost doing The Stove on you, and you've got a killer smile that makes me melt. But something's happened between us.
I know it was several months ago, maybe even a year, but ever since my brother borrowed you for his laptop (read: took without asking), you've been dirtier. The innocent SpongeBob I used to know now gets his jollies by being as filthy and used as possible. I don't know if I can truly love that SpongeBob. I think you know where this is going Sponge, so I'll keep it short. I want to start seeing other mouse pads. Good-bye.
Thanks for the memories,