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I will correct your paper! - Page 2

Blogs > ahrara_
Post a Reply
Prev 1 2 All
il0seonpurpose
Profile Blog Joined January 2007
Korea (South)5638 Posts
May 06 2008 03:24 GMT
#21
How has teamliquid made you lose faith in humanity?
ahrara_
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
Afghanistan1715 Posts
May 06 2008 03:24 GMT
#22
On May 06 2008 12:13 tiffany wrote:
are you open to editing a senior design project final report? it is 64 pages, 31 MB, and covers stuff you probably have zero interest in (biomedical engineering).

it's basically done though so it shouldn't take that long.

Uh wow, probably not. I don't have time to read 64 pages . And I don't know enough about the format of these kind of papers to be confident about the advice I can give you. At best I could correct your grammar and improve your prose.
in Afghanistan we have 20% literacy rate
Raithed
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
China7078 Posts
May 06 2008 03:38 GMT
#23
he got accepted.
clazziquai
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
6685 Posts
May 06 2008 03:50 GMT
#24
Congrats on acceptance? Idk actually

come on tell us =D
#1 Sea.Really Fan / #1 Nesh Fan / Terran Forever~
decafchicken
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
United States20019 Posts
May 06 2008 04:28 GMT
#25
I wrote this in ~15 minutes. GL HF
(its really fucking bad, you don't have to edit it if you dont want to, i just needed a rough draft to hand in tomorrow)
+ Show Spoiler +

In science, every monumental breakthrough has significant risks that accompany the rewards. Some use bombs to keep peace, some use bombs to threaten it. Michael Chricton demonstrates the dangers of time traveling in his novel, Timeline.
First off, time travel is dangerous for the people traveling back. Once in a different era, the majority of people are unaware of the customs, tongue, and habits. It is very easy to look like an outsider, and attract unwanted negative attention. This is demonstrated when Chris says that he is a gentleman and does not know that he referred to himself as nobility rather than one who is nice. “’Chris, you fool, if you keep talking like that things can only get worse,’ scolded Marek.”(243) Had circumstances not worked out the way they did, Chris could have easily been found out and killed.
A second danger of time travel is that the people traveling backwards could have an adverse effect on the past. Anything someone does could change the way history was written. Had the professor not helped Lord Oliver via gun powder, he may have lost the battle to Lord Anault. “The professor used the corning technique of grinding the powder to a fine powder, making it more explosive.”(376) The history books later recalled of Lord Olivers brave last stand using his magic powders.
Lastly, the act of time travel itself can cause harm to those using it, from a medical standpoint. If even a little thing goes wrong, it can leave someone in a terrible state. For example, the old crazy man found wandering in the desert had arteries that didn’t line up, leading to cardiac arrest. “Splitting happens when there are too many transcription errors. To get a better idea, look at this cat.” (438) Several people where injured medically from traveling in time.
In conclusion, time travel is a hazard to those traveling both in the past and medically, as well as being a hazard to the past itself. Through Michael Chricton’s novel, he tells us the dangers of new technology, such as quantum physics.
how reasonable is it to eat off wood instead of your tummy?
Jonoman92
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
United States9103 Posts
May 06 2008 04:29 GMT
#26
I have a paper due this thursday. If I send it to you tommorow (tuesday night) will you proofread it for me? The subject matter will be Cold Mountain so hopefully you've read it.
ahrara_
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
Afghanistan1715 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-05-06 04:49:46
May 06 2008 04:47 GMT
#27
decaf

I hope your essay was a joke. If it's just a rough draft and you don't care about it, and it doesn't matter, then don't ask me to edit it. But if you're serious, the main problem with it is that you're writing about the bleeding obvious. Literary analysis requires you to look at the "bigger picture". "Time travel is bad" is a very literal and very obvious statement he's making. No one needs to be told that's what the book is about. The big picture - the theme you want to explore - in this case is the idea that technology is bad, which is what Crichton writes about often. Look for passages in the book that really showcase this idea. Don't just talk about time travel. Tell us what Crichton is trying to demonstrate about technology, using the analogy of time travel. Does that make sense?

I haven't read the book, but you could talk about how technology is often welcomed at first, but has unexpected consequences. Use of technology also showcases the hubris of man -- is there a part in the book where someone is overly confident about time travel, only to have it fuck him up? To be blunt, this is Crichton, and you'll be hard pressed to find anything really worth analyzing. So just ... try very hard. By the way, you misspelled his name.

If you are just writing a "book report", then what you need is just a plot summary. Well, it depends on what your teacher asked for. Usually they're not looking for literary analysis in a book report. Sorry, I am not going to proofread it this being a rough draft. If you have a final due this week, I will try to get around to it.

I have not read cold mountain, but I can still help improve the essay's structure. When you post, please also tell me the prompt you're writing from, and what your professor expects, and what class this is for.
in Afghanistan we have 20% literacy rate
ahrara_
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
Afghanistan1715 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-05-06 04:50:21
May 06 2008 04:48 GMT
#28
I have not sent in my appeal. But I doubt it would work.

I'm happy because I had some personal stuff resolved today, and spent quality time with people that mattered. Which I guess doesnt sound that special, but compared to how shitty my life has been for a few weeks, it was like heaven.
in Afghanistan we have 20% literacy rate
ahrara_
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
Afghanistan1715 Posts
May 06 2008 04:52 GMT
#29
For Decaf, from Wikipedia.
[edit] Literary techniques

Crichton's works are frequently cautionary in that his plots often portray scientific advancements going awry, commonly resulting in worst-case scenarios. A notable recurring theme in Crichton's plots is the pathological failure of complex systems and their safeguards, whether biological ("Jurassic Park"), military/organizational ("The Andromeda Strain") or cybernetic ("Westworld"). This theme of the inevitable breakdown of "perfect" systems and the failure of "fail-safe measures" can be seen strongly in the poster for Westworld (slogan: "Where nothing can possibly go worng .." (sic) ) and in the discussion of chaos theory in Jurassic Park.

Contrary to certain perceptions, Crichton is not anti-technology. Although his works often portray scientists and engineers as arrogant and closed-minded to the potential threat a technology represents, there is always a well-educated author surrogate who states that failures are simply part of the scientific process and one should simply maintain a state of awareness and preparation for their inevitable occurrence.

The use of author surrogate has been a feature of Crichton's writings since the beginning of his career. In A Case of Need, one of his pseudonymous whodunit stories, Crichton used first-person narrative to portray the hero, a Bostonian pathologist, who is running against the clock to clear a friend's name from medical malpractice in a girl's death from a hack-job abortion.

That book was written in 1968, nearly five years before the Supreme Court's landmark decision that legalized abortion nationwide in the United States, Roe v. Wade (1973). It took the hero about 160 pages to find the chief suspect, an underground abortionist, who was created to be the author surrogate. Then, Crichton gave that character three pages to justify his illegal practice.

Some of Crichton's fiction uses a literary technique called false document. For example, Eaters of the Dead is a fabricated recreation of the Old English epic Beowulf in the form of a scholarly translation of Ahmad ibn Fadlan's 10th century manuscript. Other novels, such as The Andromeda Strain and Jurassic Park, incorporate fictionalized scientific documents in the form of diagrams, computer output, DNA sequences, footnotes and bibliography. However, some of his novels actually include authentic published scientific works to illustrate his point, as can be seen in The Terminal Man and the more recent State of Fear.
in Afghanistan we have 20% literacy rate
Jonoman92
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
United States9103 Posts
May 07 2008 03:50 GMT
#30
Oh, I won't be posting my paper, at least not until tomorrow night. I ended up not doing it tonight like I planned (it's due Thursday). I'm going to get a B in the class anyway so I don't need to do it that well anyways. When I'm finished I still might post it to see what you think of it because as a writer I need a lot of improvement.
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