On March 20 2008 21:50 niteReloaded wrote:im totally torn apart. I feel that there's a God that loves us, my mind tells me different. For the last few years, the thought of becoming a priest was always in the back of my mind coz the christianity thing felt so REAL for me. I was pretty sure I felt that 'calling' as they call it.
Anyways, I always think "what if there is no god, and i become a priest, gg life."
To say it in short, my thoughs were that the good feeling Christians get when they are related to God, is the feeling of accepting themselves, allowing them to love themselves because "if God loves me, how can i not love myself?"
We can only be happy if we love and accept ourselves, but if you do it on your own (without the God in the equation), the society often treats you as self-centered and all other bad words i dont know in english. So, right now, thats my interpretation of religion.
Anyways, almost every day the thought of becoming a priest comes to my head (even with the girl in the picture) and I keep making rationalizations to make it go away. Right now, these are the reasons I dont believe in God:
1. Many people say "If God loves us, how can he let inocent people die." I dont care about that. If the whole religion thing is true, it really doesnt matter what happens on this earth. If an innocent child dies, it goes to heaven, so what more can we ask? so the child is OK.
An other thing is bothering me however. If God loves us 1000X more than a father loves his child, how can he let any of us go to hell? Why doesnt he bother to tell us we're going in the wrong direction?
People might say,
its all in the bible, read it, its up to you to make the decision. But is it?
If you see your child about to fall from a tree, and you said to him that its dangerous to climb trees, would you say to him "Its up to you to listen to me.". No, you wouldnt. You would jump, scream, and grab him, hug him and tell him again not to do it anymore.
None of us wants to go to hell. Those who live their lives in a way that will reserve them a ticket in hell certainly dont do it on purpose i.e. to get to hell. They dont believe in hell. They are only trying to be happy. So is it really our fault that the word of God wasnt interperted well enough to us? Is it so hard for God to send an angel to each of us and say
"look dude, dont do that shit anymore, you'll end up badly. Be good, God really loves you and wants you to be good."What ever happened to that good shepard story: a sheep strays away and the shepard comes, grabs her, puts her on his shoulders and takes her to safety. he doesnt say to the sheep
"didnt you read the manual?! It's your fault, burn in hell!" If god is so powerful and smart, then we are nothing but sheep, and we need to be directed the right way.
2. People often say,
God gave his sons life for you, what more can we ask//why are you ungrateful?Well, Jesus is not dead, he was dead for 3 days. He came to earth, told a few stories, went thru a torture that btw millions of people get thru every day. But those people die for real, he came back to life. thats ez.
If i could change it, i would make jesus NOT die. I would only make god send an angel to each of us. So what if jesus died, majority doesnt believe it anyway. Or is that
the whole point? Would it be boring for God if every one of us got saved? Would it be imba? is there not enough room in heaven so some simply have to fail the tests?
(If there are people who would like to discuss this more, plz bookmark the thread so you dont forget, blogs get cluttered up fast.)
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