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I'm not going to read your story. Because I'm to lazy to read it.
However, I can tell you. You should sleep and eat. I went through the very same thing when my whore girlfriend admitted to me that she fucked another guy when we were broken up for like half a day (13.5 hours). I was so wrecked, that I deprived myself of food and sleep for about a week straight. I did sleep and I did eat, but it was so short and few. I ended up having a major panic attack coupled with me pulling my chest muscle and springing it which pretty much mimicked a heart attack. (As the doctor said.)
It wasn't worth it...
I should also mention that I did have to call an ambulance because of it. I thought I was dying. To make matters worse, there was no phone in my place. The people up stairs were not home. The neighbors next door were not home. The immigrant bastard across the street, totally denied calling me an ambulance. If I didn't think I was dying I would of kicked him in the head. Finally some other people were home and they let my girlfriend use there phone.
By time the ambulance arrived I felt my heart was much slower then when it first struck me. It was a pretty terrifying ordeal.
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It's been 4 months since I broke up with my first real love. I am actually the one that called it off, but I still miss her and love her deeply.
I find myself thinking about her every single day. I don't usually regret my decision to end our relationship, although sometimes I do. But what is kind of interesting to me is that I find myself going back and listening to music that she gave me and that reminds me of her, and I savor that music so much, and the feelings that it brings up in me, even though those feelings are usually somewhat sad. So I get what you mean about savoring the pain - at least what you said about that in your first heartbreak post.
I miss her deeply and wish more than anything I could just talk to her (but she won't speak with me.) I wish we could be friends, even though I know that it would be incredibly difficult to even talk with her (we would both melt down, I think.) And all of this despite the fact that I am seeing a very cool, very beautiful woman now - one that I believe I am falling for.
So as far as I can tell, Control is right. You don't get over it, but it does get easier. Much easier.
I'll always love my Jess.
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United States5262 Posts
I know how you feel, man. I FEEL YOU. As I read this I'm actually || close to crying. Hang in there man, if you're Christian, send a prayer to Him. If you're not I sent one for you anyway. GL HF man.
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dude, that freaking sucks.
alcohol. lots of alcohol and friends is ur solution.
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On January 15 2008 10:35 {88}iNcontroL wrote:
If you truly love someone you can never fully "get over" them. If you can you werent in love. Its funny being so direct with something as amorpheous as "love" but I honestly think you can peg human beings on this one. That emotion is so damn powerful for 99.99% of the population that once you actually experience it with someone for a long duration of time you cannot _ever_ completely forget/ignore it. That being said having someone else in your life love or not does help dilude the effects or even make you temporarily forget. But you can never completely erase it, thats my point. I agree with this.
I had a break up just this July--it was a long-distance relationship, getting a bit strained, I reacted badly and got too clingy, and then one day she couldn't take it anymore.
We were friends for a while, I had hoped that she could love me again, but she slowly drifted away, until a few days after my birthday, she told me she's seeing someone else.
I was broken. I was punishing myself mentally for the stupid things I've done; taking her for granted, hurting her. It wasn't supposed to be that way.
We still tried being friends, but it couldn't work.
I love her. She turned me into a better man, a man I never thought I'd be. I wanted to give my life to her, to make her happy. I knew that had we been together, I would have married her by now. It hurts me so much that the distance between us was the reason for--or at least played a huge role in forming-- the rift between us. I thought either time or another love would make me forget her, but it didn't work. I shared my life with her, so much that now so many things remind me of her: songs, books, dates on the calendar . . . and I'm afraid of falling in love with someone else, because . . . there's this expression in Filipino, 'panakip-butas', literally something to cover a hole. I was afraid that the new girl might just be covering the hole in my heart that her loss made, and I do not want to hurt someone that way.
PS. Sorry for sorta hijacking the thread, not even giving tips. Well, I agree with a lot of them, distraction works. I got hooked to Progaming because I just discovered it recently, and I didn't get to share it with her--it was a part of my mind that didn't remind me of her, so when it gets too much, I dwell there. Pathetic, I know, but it kept me from killing myself.
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Norway10161 Posts
On January 15 2008 10:08 il0seonpurpose wrote:
I thought you liked being heartbroken, it was in your first part but I guess it changed. Sorry to hear what happened, you're not some middle school drama kid are you?
I think things like this reminds us that we are human. As I stated I like feeling alive and I like to feel something completely real. You will understand when you get older.
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Norway10161 Posts
Thank you, everybody. For sharing and for advice. I've read it all.
A bit afraid of this:
On January 15 2008 10:35 {88}iNcontroL wrote:
If you truly love someone you can never fully "get over" them. If you can you werent in love. Its funny being so direct with something as amorpheous as "love" but I honestly think you can peg human beings on this one. That emotion is so damn powerful for 99.99% of the population that once you actually experience it with someone for a long duration of time you cannot _ever_ completely forget/ignore it. That being said having someone else in your life love or not does help dilude the effects or even make you temporarily forget. But you can never completely erase it, thats my point.
Well said, inc.
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You shouldn't be afraid of what inc. said. You won't ever forget about her, but you won't always feel the same way. Things do get better. It takes time though. I've been in your boat a few times. I still remember the first time I got my heart broken when I was 17. I still remember everything about her, but it doesn't bother me anymore. In fact when I think about, I'm happy about the experience. (Not the broken heart part, but the time we spent together.)
You'll be fine in the long run. It's the short run that's hard to deal with.
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<3 ToKoreaWithLove i know how you feel >.<
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EPT
