EPTThe other day i had one of these Full Circle moments, where me and my friends were hanging out with me and my female friends. Meaning i'm not going to get any, that's why i phrased it like that, it was basically benefiting for them. I don't really care, but we were supposed to go to a party that night, somewhere like 20 minutes away. So we tell them that we are dropping them off back at one of there houses, and drive around in pursuit of different girls, a party we never were able to get to, and overall nothing. After 3 hours of driving around we end up just calling the 3 girls we were with earlier back up and hanging out with them back at my house again. Exactly where we were 3 hours earlier, the same chairs, the same people, and the same room. Inevitably wasting 3 hours accomplishing nothing except wasting gas and coming back to where we were.
Then i was reminded of a rather larger full circle, for lack of a better term, i had one but forgot it. When i was 5 years old i went to some gay little private school becuase i was apparently an angry child. The place sucked, i didn't belong there, my parents over reacted, etc. I admit that maybe i needed that for a few years, but by 5th grade i was fine. I could read well, which i had trouble with earlier. I read at a first grade level when i was in 5th. I ended up getting assigned to this amazing lady, after being denied that i had any issue reading, and i was just being a difficult child. But alas in 5th grade they realzied i wasn't just being a prick. I was sent to this lady once a week for about 4 months. in 4 months she took me from that first grade train wreck, to reading at an 8th grade level. That is amazing, i wonder what happened to her, if i ever meet her again i will have to thank her for how much she helped me. and keep in mind i was in no way an easy child to teach.
Now i accidentally just described 2 school experiences, the first i went to for kindergarten/first grade. The second where i met that wonderful lady was from 4th-8th. The first one was a fucked up place called Birch Wood. The second a school called St. Dominicks. This information becomes relivent sometime later in the story. Now as i said earlier, i needed it for onyl a few years, and after that i was ready to be integrated back into mainstream school, where i really wanted to go, where i knew i belonged. Until now it's been kind of hard to make friends, since i went to come gay private school which no one else went to.
After 8th grade i thought it was obvious to those aruond me that i was ready to go back, since the priar years were me reayd and just abusing the easyness that was those shit schools. By being a prick. But i really wanted to go to public highschool, so i finally showed the behavior and work ethic they would exspect, i also saw those around me acting like pricks, getting into trouble, cursing, etc. Getting to go to there respective public schools. I figured, hey i'm showing more progress then these kids, there should be no issue what so ever with this shit, right?
After i graduated in 8th, to my dismay i had found out that my own fucking mother decided that she didn't beleive me ready to go to public schools. She made me go to some other one, where eveyr mother fucker was a drug addict, like insanely addicted. All fucking failures at there finest. Some place i watned nothing to fucking do with, but was forced to against my will. This place was apparently designed to enable kids the ability to go back after 90 day sof school, if they felt they were ready.
After about a month or 2 at this place i fucking gave up, i hated where i was, i hated not having friends, i hated everything. I just stopped going to school. Around the same time my dad got into an accident and lost his right leg. So staying home went virtually uncontested, my mom was away, my dad was injured. And now my will to continue was broken. After all my hard work i was not able to go back to where i knew i belonged? Fuck that. Somehow after the 90 day minimum is up, i manage to convince them to let me go back to public highschool, after now missing about 35 days of school. Playing the depressed card, saying how that was the only way for me to get better. Whatever i had to do.
Now keep in mind, i'm half a year into school, lost what little friends i managed to gather over the years, and am getting into the not going to school phase of my life. Which isn't good at all. Now am in pretty deep, get into classes and try to start giong, i fail. I fail the year, or everything except science and gym somehow. The next year wasn't much of a change, except now i had friends again, had the same general attedence, and managed to pass all of my classes with that solid D+ and 50% attendence. Half a year through, i was kind of insane, when i went to school i cut class, when i didn't go i slept and played starcraft, and when i was cutting i was causing chaos whereever i was. Actually i just realized i skipped my second freshman year, which was quiet and attendence was crappy, but i managed to pass everything. This is my chaotic sophmore year, where the nights were long, the father was violent, and school was pointless. Now back to the drama of softmore year. I cut every english class i had, i went to about 3-4 in the single quarter. That was dumb, but all my friends had lunch that period, and all school was to me was a social expereince and social enabler. I useed to get into battles wiht the librarian and eventually i got kicked out of this school i had worked so hard to get into, or asked to leave or some shit like that. and where i was sent was none other then BIRCH WOOD! The first shitty school i was ever granted the displeasure of going to. Now after all i had done, after all the hard work i put in over a period of about 7 years, i end up exactly where i was before. What was the last 7 years then? Just a bunch of filler? I had now lost all my friends, got kicked out of the school, and ended up at square fucking one. I'm now offically owned. Alas i had come full circle to exactly where i was while seemingly accomplishing nothing. This school was supposed to apparently help me get on this gay little "Right TRack" But all it did was waste my fucking time, as i told them, that i didn't belong in tihs shit hole. They siad i "Needed" it. Who the fuck are they to tell me what i fucking need? I will fucking kill you, i know what i need. This mentality was basically after half a year of this place where they decided i still wasn't ready. Now i had like 70+% absense in tihs school, because i hated it so much, told them how i wanted to go back to public school, and how i didn't need this place, they said i wasn't ready and need to prove myself, and that i need this place.
This did not please monkeyspanker, and he infromed them all to fuck off and i would do as i fucking please and that regardless of what they say in the 3rd quarter of my junior year i'm fucking going back, regardless of my grades attendence or anything they fucking said. Keep in mind going here has put me in this state of mind of not doing anything. I probably did 3 math sheets the entire half year. Then sure enough the 3rd quarter came, i said "I'm going back" they said no, and i fucking win. I get to go back in the biggest whole fucking ever. No work what so ever, strait F's/Incompletes, and need strait A's plus attendence to win life.
I get back to where i watned to be and find myself fucked again, try for like a week, realize i'm fucked in chem, give up, and realize i'm fucked in everything else. Fail my junior year again.
BUT this was not a complete failure however, i managed to get friends and motivation out of the last year of school. Now i'm back in my junior year of highschool with my lovely GPA, with friends, motivation, and only like 15% absense. This year is going well so far. But that is just some examples of pointless shit that inevitably comes full circle regardless of what you do and you end up exactly where you were previously. I'm sure it's happened to many of us, i just figured i'd make note about it and bitch about my annnoying school experiences.
I didn't originally mean for this to be an essay on my awesome little life, but i got off topic.
But that first all of this got me to that lvoely C rank on PGT with a 75% winning ratio in 2on2, so it was all good
In the end i think your PGT rating matters more then your GPA, especially to colleges. The actual pont of this was to point out 2-3 instances of my life where i have come full circle, inevitably doing nothing really. Anyone else got some full circle experiences to share? Love to hear it
