There is this cute coworker who really likes me. It started a few months ago when I gave a presentation which I guess impressed her. Since then she kept looking at me and laughing at my jokes etc. (we all know if a woman has no interest in a guy she would never look at him for more than one second) but she's a VERY shy and passive girl. After months of working together, she has NEVER initiated an interaction with me. The few times we talked were all started by me, and none of them was longer than a few seconds. I am also a big introvert so it makes me feel "tired" when I have to initiate everything, and this is also why I don't like her as a person.
Things got complicated after that fateful day. In my country on the 8th of March, which is the International Women's Day, men give presents to the women they consider "important" to them, like mother/sisters/friends/coworkers etc. For some reason, instead of getting to know her gradually and see if we match, I decided to give her a present all of a sudden. She was clearly startled and said "thank you!" in a surprised voice. I didn't hear from her that night, but a few days after she started showing her affection again, but still in indirect ways like before. It truly is amazing how passive she is (no I'm not dreaming, she definitely does like me, it's the same way many other girls have showed their interest to me before, this one just never got the courage to speak up). However, as I don't really like her personality, I didn't push forward with it. It got to a point where she was staring at me with angry eyes like "why are you not doing anything?!".
Then comes the biggest turn of events so far. There was an event where we both attended, and after that I, her and some other coworkers went to have lunch. After some chit chat I asked her if she had a boyfriend and foolishly "confessed" that I "really like". The timing is so sudden that everyone were shocked. She first said "Uhm I don't really like dating co-workers" but after the other people said stuff, she smiled happily and said "yeah, I don't have a boyfriend", then went downstairs. I went after her, but when she was about to say something to me, I blurted something REALLY stupid: "coworkers are fine, as long as we aren't in the same room!" which made her immediately stopped what she was saying and took out her phone to write something. Later on I went home and saw a message from her saying she had "someone who likes her" and told me to "don't waste time on her". Instead of giving up I kept lying by saying "at least I stayed true to my heart, let's go back to being coworkers from tomorrow" to which she happily agreed.
It seemed like she was mad at first but my message turned things around. The next day she was merry around me again. But still no words. At that point I wasn't even mad, just amazed that such a passive girl exists. I got a bit butthurt by her message though, and decided that "she rejected me, now I have all the rights to not talk to her. The ball is in her court now!". That sounded like a "all according to plan" moment, but now I realized it was just childish and mean.
Days went by, and I guess after hearing good things about me from other people, she started showing affection a bit more "clearly" (but still in indirect ways that don't involve talking to me, haha). I got tired of her weird ass and also got too many work to do, so I just ignored her completely.
Then the story took a very unexpected turn. Her department suddenly got A LOT more employees, like four guys and five girls or something. I thought the four new guys would make her forget about me, but nope! It even seemed like she liked me even more! though I kept randomly hearing about one of the guys (let's call him N) and her having "something". Like once when her teammates kept calling her name when N was picking someone to join him in a project. She seemed annoyed but still smiled when he picked her. I think it was just her being weak and happy about getting some attention.
Fast forward to today. There was a farewell party for some coworkers and she kept looking at me from time to time, even laughed out loud when I did some dumb shit. But I also heard her teammates talking about N and her. She walked away immediately when they started that though. I mean she could've said SOMETHING, but well... the passiveness is real with this one.
I completely ignored her, and I'm not sure if this was fate or not, but when I was talking out my motorbike from the parking lot, I had a feeling I would see her and BAM! I just coldly drove past her though. I guess that was my heart's answer to all this emotional mess.
What I'm planning to do next:
- TALK TO OTHER GIRLS! I noticed some cute and interesting ones at today's party.
- But we're still coworkers, so I still need to do SOMETHING. It's still partly my fault for why things got to this weird point, though her passiveness doesn't make things any better. All in all it's a terrible thing to have awkwardness between coworkers, isn't it?
So I guess I gotta have a talk with her. Who knows what happens when we actually open up to each other? Maybe she's actually better than it seems?